Memory boxes from past relationships

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  • Smuterella
    Smuterella Posts: 1,623 Member
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    I throw it all out.

    An ex of mine had this duvet she had used on her bed for like - 20 years and refused to get rid of it as it was a memory box of past lovers bodily fluids (ick). Now THAT is creepy.
  • randomtai
    randomtai Posts: 9,003 Member
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    I find this practice to be creepy as hell. Exes are exes for very good reasons. Even if you stay good friends afterwards---you ARE friends, so wtf do you need a memory box, for?? And if you're not friends, well, that indicates you're living in the past, and are not over him/her. Get rid of their crap.

    THIS ^^^
  • AlyssaNorth
    AlyssaNorth Posts: 57 Member
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    If my husband had a memorie box of his ex (or exes) id punch him in the face. Seems like you shouldnt get into another relationship if you are still holding on to your past. its not fair.
  • TheRoadDog
    TheRoadDog Posts: 11,793 Member
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    I don't know what a memory box is, but I have a box full of pics dating from 1976. The reason I don't have anything before that time is because a jealous girlfriend I started dating in 1976 asked me to get rid of them. So...now I haven't seen that girl in decades and I don't have any pics from the first 22 years of my life. (Well...some....but none of the women I dated before 1976.)

    Jealousy is a wasted emotion.
  • arathena720
    arathena720 Posts: 449 Member
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    I have one from my first marriage, plus I've saved cards and notes from my relationships going all the way back to high school. At 41, I'm definitely over those relationships, but I like seeing them once in a while, reminiscing about what life was like back then and the people who were in my life. When I was in my 20's, if a guy had a memory box or was holding on to that stuff I would have been bothered by it, but at my age now I just see it as a way of holding on to our youth.
  • linz1125
    linz1125 Posts: 441 Member
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    I don't have one but my husband does. When we started dating he had all of these pictures of former flames around his apartment, and when I moved in I got him the box so he wouldn't feel that he had to get rid of them. I just didn't want to see them. It's still in his closet but I don't know the last time he's ever gone in it. In the grand scheme of things its not a big deal. He is a very sentimental person, and can't throw anything out.
  • Iceman1800
    Iceman1800 Posts: 476
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    I see no good in doing that. No reason to remember past gf's.
  • atsteele
    atsteele Posts: 1,359 Member
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    I don't have a memory box dedicated to anyone in particular but I do have a bookcase practically filled with photo albums from approx. 1985 to 2008. After that, I decided to just post my pictures online (facebook) and let the paper documentation of my life (and my family) end. And yes, I have pictures of old boyfriends. I have gone back to look through those albums about 5 times in those 23 years.
  • Troll
    Troll Posts: 922 Member
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    I dont have one and id be annoyed if my fiance did. theres a reason we broke up in the first place, and its because there were more bad times than good. why do either one of us need to hold onto that crap?
  • Chapter3point6
    Chapter3point6 Posts: 1,233
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    Interesting topic and responses.

    I have a memory box, but it isn't specific to past relationships. There are items in it from past relationships, but I also have a basketball jersey, drawings my mother did for me as a kid, a baseball I caught at a MLB game. I pulled it out while doing Spring cleaning this year. As I went through it, I decided to discard some items from past relationships. I came across a letter a gf sent to me and I was still touched reading it after 20 years. No unresolved feelings. It was just a very thoughtful letter she had sent and it is something I will always keep.

    My wife has her memory box as well.
  • LoveleeB
    LoveleeB Posts: 560 Member
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    F*#k no, if it's a past relationship then it needs to remain in the past. I can recall "good" memories from my mind if I choose to.
  • SofaKingRad
    SofaKingRad Posts: 1,592 Member
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    I keep little things like the condoms we used or the false pregnancy tests she took. They are sweet memories.
  • Chapter3point6
    Chapter3point6 Posts: 1,233
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    I dont keep anything, I either give stuff back to the ex, give it to charity shops (thrift stores) or burn it.
    If I could get my memory erased as well I would.


    see, I think that is sad. our relationships help mold us into the people we become.

    I completely agree.

    I certainly understand some relationships are that bad where there isn't much worth remembering. However, I really don't believe that is the norm.
  • Cliffslosinit
    Cliffslosinit Posts: 5,044 Member
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    I don't NEED the box I just choose to keep one.
    Locks of their hair, old panties, etc.

    I know where they ALL are and check on them regularly.
    They will never leave ME!:angry:
  • _Wits_
    _Wits_ Posts: 1,286 Member
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    I may have a couple random things from HS bfs but anything I have kept along the way is from my husband...been with him since I was 19 and before that, I didn't have many serious relationships anyway.
  • KittieLea
    KittieLea Posts: 1,156 Member
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    I don't keep any of that shiznit. Once a relationship is over for me, I ditch everything and move on like it never happened.
  • Ms_Steel
    Ms_Steel Posts: 125
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    I don't NEED the box I just choose to keep one.
    Locks of their hair, old panties, etc.

    I know where they ALL are and check on them regularly.
    They will never leave ME!:angry:

    I THOUGHT i saw footprints in my flowerbed.
  • Chapter3point6
    Chapter3point6 Posts: 1,233
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    I don't keep any of that shiznit. Once a relationship is over for me, I ditch everything and move on like it never happened.

    You can't erase me from your past. I existed. You loved me! Why are you doing this to me? :brokenheart:
  • Sojaided34
    Sojaided34 Posts: 113
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    Does an envelope with divorce papers and custody agreements count? :laugh: Just kidding, never had a divorce....

    My personal opinion is it is a sign you haven't quite moved on from the relationship, which is understandable in cases.

    Hey I have these in my memory box. Best thing about my last relationship. LOL And I think it's weird to have anything belonging to the ex (unless it's kids). Especially with someone new. Why keep it? It may seem like they are not over that person. Why would he want a reminder of his past when he's with you?
  • LadyIvysMom
    LadyIvysMom Posts: 391 Member
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    I've seriously never even heard of this before.

    I'm good friends with my last two ex bf's from before I got married (was even roommates with one of them for a few years). But I don't need to keep a bunch of random crap from my ended romantic relationships with them. I probably have recent "platonic" pictures of them both floating around and I don't really believe in destroying gifts I was given but I don't keep all the stuff related to these guys in a box somewhere.

    No offense but keeping a box full of pictures and mementos from a past romantic relationship in a little box somewhere to look back at with warm fuzzy fondness or whatever just seems really creepy to me, especially if you don't even keep in touch with the person anymore and are in a stable, healthy relationship with someone else.

    My husband never had a relationship last longer than 3 months before he met me. He's never had anything nice to say about his ex girlfriends so he usually just doesn't say anything at all. I have no opinion of his exes since I've never met any of them and the only things I know about them are from him (and since he apparently can't stand them, his opinion is biased, they could be really nice people for all I know!).

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