Wait...Guys like me now??

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24

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  • HeavenLeAngel127
    HeavenLeAngel127 Posts: 211 Member
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    I know I should've seen this coming, but it caught me off guard. I've been overweight since puberty so this is a definite first for me: All of a sudden guys are taking notice of me. Like, a lot of guys. And I have no clue how to process this :/ Specifically, I don't really know how to nicely let a guy know I'm not interested. Two friends of the guy I AM interested in have been trying really hard to flirt with me but I have no idea how to respond lol This is probably just a bunch of silliness to you guys but it's foreign to me! Any advice???

    I would say it. "Geesh boys, as much as I love having you studs around me. I can't help but check out your friend." Also wiggle eyebrows so you are fun, flirty, yet you are getting your point across. And if the friend doesn't recipricate your feeling make a joke of it and say, "strike out!" Say this with a smile!
  • Eddie274
    Eddie274 Posts: 156
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    How about just wait until someone doesn't flirt and is just themselves, and are friendly. They're less likely to be after the one thing only.
  • HeavenLeAngel127
    HeavenLeAngel127 Posts: 211 Member
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    How about just wait until someone doesn't flirt and is just themselves, and are friendly. They're less likely to be after the one thing only.

    Flirting is fun. And its a way to show someone who has interested you by being themselves that you like them.

    Here lets flirt...

    Hey there be yourself guy....

    Isn't that so much nicer?
  • marketdimlylit
    marketdimlylit Posts: 1,601 Member
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    If ya got bewbs, they're gna like ya.
  • Marc713
    Marc713 Posts: 328 Member
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    I prefer the passive-aggressive approach of holding open the door for someone that is coming, and looking at them... Forcing them to speed up because you're holding the door.

    that's also fun.

    You're on of THOSE guys! So awkward when guys hold the door open for you when you're not even close.

    Well, you are either the guy that makes them speed up, or the **** that didn't hold the door....for most of us men, it's a "damned if we do" or "damned if we don't" in most cases anyhow. Like being the nice guy or the bad boy.
  • yoovie
    yoovie Posts: 17,121 Member
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    Yeah I have no idea how to handle this. Several times ive had a guy hit on me now and I've been so hurt and insulted because I genuinely thought he was making a joke for friends watching nearby.

    So now I just kind of half smile and politely say thank you and GTFO of their space, cause who can mock you if you are sweet and polite.

    Right?

    All I can do is, I guess, assume the more often it happens, the less likely it is that someone is being mean-hearted and mocking me. I mean alll these dudes cant be asshles right?
  • adrian_indy
    adrian_indy Posts: 1,444 Member
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    Forget what everyone else is saying. You need to sleep with as many men as possible to make up for lost time. It's gonna be awesome.
  • rozsbluejay
    rozsbluejay Posts: 303 Member
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    Congrats for you. But to me I see this as really messed up. See if you knew this guy before what suddenly changed his mind? Just like my profile says, "The way you look and feel affect the way people perceive you." I know I'm single now but I think its really sad when guys are just shallow.
  • yo_andi
    yo_andi Posts: 2,178 Member
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    Have you considered that you may have played the wallflower a bit when you were bigger, and now that you feel more confident you're actually noticing other people paying attention to you more? Enjoy it! Embrace it! Live your life, because you only get one shot at it.
  • yoovie
    yoovie Posts: 17,121 Member
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    wait wait wait wait LMMFAO

    yall are upset because someone who thought of you as a friend can now see you as more than a friend because they are now sexually attracted to you as well????????????

    thats not shallow, its a fairytale. Its not shallow- its freaking MATH!!!

    What do you call someone you arent sexually into but whom you love and are not related to?
    a friend

    What do you call someone who you care about, think of as a great friend are are sexually interested in? A damn target!
  • BAMFMeredith
    BAMFMeredith Posts: 2,829 Member
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    wait wait wait wait LMMFAO

    yall are upset because someone who thought of you as a friend can now see you as more than a friend because they are now sexually attracted to you as well????????????

    thats not shallow, its a fairytale. Its not shallow- its freaking MATH!!!

    What do you call someone you arent sexually into but whom you love and are not related to?
    a friend

    What do you call someone who you care about, think of as a great friend are are sexually interested in? A damn target!

    Amen sister.

    There have been many posts with this same general theme, and every time I read through thinking "damn, I must be really shallow."
  • BAMFMeredith
    BAMFMeredith Posts: 2,829 Member
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    Forget what everyone else is saying. You need to sleep with as many men as possible to make up for lost time. It's gonna be awesome.

    This is obviously the only way to handle the situation.
  • DontStopB_Leakin
    DontStopB_Leakin Posts: 3,863 Member
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    You know I'm not saying that. I want somebody who will be attracted to me whatever weight I am. It's the same reason I didn't want a guy who liked me because I'm bigger! Weight will change. My personality (for the most part) will not.

    Wrong. Your personality DOES change with weght loss. Or rather, your real personality shines through..


    Example: When I was obese, I had a tendency to keep more to myself. I was still outspoken, blunt, and sometimes abrasive, but I wouldn't just strike up a conversation with a random person. I also wasn't near as sarcastic or ridiculously silly as I am now.

    After losing over a hundred pounds, I now have the confidence to talk to random strangers, and care less about what they think of me. I'm much more extroverted, and generally a much more optimistic person. Seriously, some days, like today, I crap rainbows. I was never like that as an obese person.

    What I'm saying is, due to your newfound confidence in your physical appearance, certain elements of your personality might be shining through now more than before. And men are noticing that.

    Yes, men CAN be very shallow. So can women. But sometimes, you have to give them credit. Maybe these guys never noticed your personality because you were too busy trying to go unnoticed?


    Oh and like another poster said confidence is the key word here. It's like a drug to men. They love it.
  • PlunderBunneh
    PlunderBunneh Posts: 1,705 Member
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    Yeah I kinda feel the same way: I don't want a guy who only likes me now that I've lost weight. F_ck that sh_t.

    I ran into this myself a bit ago. A friend of a friend all of the sudden upped the flirty conversation, starting chatting it up with me, so on and so on. I'm happily married, but we run with a playful crowd, so I'm not offended at the flirtation, but it took me a bit to adjust to, as he had never payed that sort of attention in the past.
    The conclusion I came to: I could get all butthurt, and take it personally. Or, I could just look at it with a clear mind. Yeah, I was attractive before, but my confidence has gone way up, and hell, even I know I'm more appealing to the eye these days. If I can acknowledge that, why would I be angry about someone else indicating it?

    As for the original, make googoo eyes at the guy you are interested in, and see what comes of it. Don't be rude to the others though, they are probably just light-heartedly testing the waters. If they get more serious, then it's time to pull them aside and explain your feelings.
  • 76tech
    76tech Posts: 1,455 Member
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    You know I'm not saying that. I want somebody who will be attracted to me whatever weight I am. It's the same reason I didn't want a guy who liked me because I'm bigger! Weight will change. My personality (for the most part) will not.

    Wrong. Your personality DOES change with weght loss. Or rather, your real personality shines through..


    Example: When I was obese, I had a tendency to keep more to myself. I was still outspoken, blunt, and sometimes abrasive, but I wouldn't just strike up a conversation with a random person. I also wasn't near as sarcastic or ridiculously silly as I am now.

    After losing over a hundred pounds, I now have the confidence to talk to random strangers, and care less about what they think of me. I'm much more extroverted, and generally a much more optimistic person. Seriously, some days, like today, I crap rainbows. I was never like that as an obese person.

    What I'm saying is, due to your newfound confidence in your physical appearance, certain elements of your personality might be shining through now more than before. And men are noticing that.

    Yes, men CAN be very shallow. So can women. But sometimes, you have to give them credit. Maybe these guys never noticed your personality because you were too busy trying to go unnoticed?


    Oh and like another poster said confidence is the key word here. It's like a drug to men. They love it.

    This, one thousand times over. Feel better about yourself = more confidence. I certainly tried to remain unnoticed before I started getting healthier.
  • yoovie
    yoovie Posts: 17,121 Member
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    You know I'm not saying that. I want somebody who will be attracted to me whatever weight I am. It's the same reason I didn't want a guy who liked me because I'm bigger! Weight will change. My personality (for the most part) will not.

    Wrong. Your personality DOES change with weight loss. Or rather, your real personality shines through..

    *humps your leg*
  • DaughterOfTheMostHighKing
    DaughterOfTheMostHighKing Posts: 1,436 Member
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    just be friends. when you notice a spark you'll know. be friends first. cause most divorces happen when they aren't friends. friends can argue or disagree and still be friends.
  • Tisha9377
    Tisha9377 Posts: 11 Member
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    Congrats on the 24lb loss first off!!! I am sure your inner beauty is BEAMING on the outside, thats quite alot of weight to lose, so I am sure it shows in the way that you carry yourself and that my friend is APPEALING...
    I say being kind to everyone who shows you the same can never hurt... I am a naturally overly friendly person so my advice is be thankful and smiley about compliments and conversation. Enjoy people for the company that they can keep and well, maybe you aren't attracted to one of these guys NOW, but whose to say after a few intellectual conversations that they can't be Mr. Right... Keep your mind open as well as your heart. As for the guy who has yet to notice your interested in him, well there are plenty of fish in the sea... Just sayin...
  • ZombieChaser
    ZombieChaser Posts: 1,555 Member
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    You know I'm not saying that. I want somebody who will be attracted to me whatever weight I am. It's the same reason I didn't want a guy who liked me because I'm bigger! Weight will change. My personality (for the most part) will not.

    Wrong. Your personality DOES change with weght loss. Or rather, your real personality shines through..


    Example: When I was obese, I had a tendency to keep more to myself. I was still outspoken, blunt, and sometimes abrasive, but I wouldn't just strike up a conversation with a random person. I also wasn't near as sarcastic or ridiculously silly as I am now.

    After losing over a hundred pounds, I now have the confidence to talk to random strangers, and care less about what they think of me. I'm much more extroverted, and generally a much more optimistic person. Seriously, some days, like today, I crap rainbows. I was never like that as an obese person.

    What I'm saying is, due to your newfound confidence in your physical appearance, certain elements of your personality might be shining through now more than before. And men are noticing that.

    Yes, men CAN be very shallow. So can women. But sometimes, you have to give them credit. Maybe these guys never noticed your personality because you were too busy trying to go unnoticed?


    Oh and like another poster said confidence is the key word here. It's like a drug to men. They love it.

    This is why I love you - seriously OP - ^^ this, right here!!
  • PlunderBunneh
    PlunderBunneh Posts: 1,705 Member
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    I prefer the passive-aggressive approach of holding open the door for someone that is coming, and looking at them... Forcing them to speed up because you're holding the door.

    that's also fun.

    You're on of THOSE guys! So awkward when guys hold the door open for you when you're not even close.

    Well, you are either the guy that makes them speed up, or the **** that didn't hold the door....for most of us men, it's a "damned if we do" or "damned if we don't" in most cases anyhow. Like being the nice guy or the bad boy.

    My mother taught me manners, I hold the door for everyone. If someone is walking towards a door I'm leaving or opening, I hold it. Simple niceties, and doesn't cost me a darn thing. Sure hope I haven't offended anyone...I suck so bad at playing gender role etiquette games.

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