Wait...Guys like me now??
Replies
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wait wait wait wait LMMFAO
yall are upset because someone who thought of you as a friend can now see you as more than a friend because they are now sexually attracted to you as well????????????
thats not shallow, its a fairytale. Its not shallow- its freaking MATH!!!
What do you call someone you arent sexually into but whom you love and are not related to?
a friend
What do you call someone who you care about, think of as a great friend are are sexually interested in? A damn target!
Amen sister.
There have been many posts with this same general theme, and every time I read through thinking "damn, I must be really shallow."0 -
Forget what everyone else is saying. You need to sleep with as many men as possible to make up for lost time. It's gonna be awesome.
This is obviously the only way to handle the situation.0 -
You know I'm not saying that. I want somebody who will be attracted to me whatever weight I am. It's the same reason I didn't want a guy who liked me because I'm bigger! Weight will change. My personality (for the most part) will not.
Wrong. Your personality DOES change with weght loss. Or rather, your real personality shines through..
Example: When I was obese, I had a tendency to keep more to myself. I was still outspoken, blunt, and sometimes abrasive, but I wouldn't just strike up a conversation with a random person. I also wasn't near as sarcastic or ridiculously silly as I am now.
After losing over a hundred pounds, I now have the confidence to talk to random strangers, and care less about what they think of me. I'm much more extroverted, and generally a much more optimistic person. Seriously, some days, like today, I crap rainbows. I was never like that as an obese person.
What I'm saying is, due to your newfound confidence in your physical appearance, certain elements of your personality might be shining through now more than before. And men are noticing that.
Yes, men CAN be very shallow. So can women. But sometimes, you have to give them credit. Maybe these guys never noticed your personality because you were too busy trying to go unnoticed?
Oh and like another poster said confidence is the key word here. It's like a drug to men. They love it.0 -
Yeah I kinda feel the same way: I don't want a guy who only likes me now that I've lost weight. F_ck that sh_t.
I ran into this myself a bit ago. A friend of a friend all of the sudden upped the flirty conversation, starting chatting it up with me, so on and so on. I'm happily married, but we run with a playful crowd, so I'm not offended at the flirtation, but it took me a bit to adjust to, as he had never payed that sort of attention in the past.
The conclusion I came to: I could get all butthurt, and take it personally. Or, I could just look at it with a clear mind. Yeah, I was attractive before, but my confidence has gone way up, and hell, even I know I'm more appealing to the eye these days. If I can acknowledge that, why would I be angry about someone else indicating it?
As for the original, make googoo eyes at the guy you are interested in, and see what comes of it. Don't be rude to the others though, they are probably just light-heartedly testing the waters. If they get more serious, then it's time to pull them aside and explain your feelings.0 -
You know I'm not saying that. I want somebody who will be attracted to me whatever weight I am. It's the same reason I didn't want a guy who liked me because I'm bigger! Weight will change. My personality (for the most part) will not.
Wrong. Your personality DOES change with weght loss. Or rather, your real personality shines through..
Example: When I was obese, I had a tendency to keep more to myself. I was still outspoken, blunt, and sometimes abrasive, but I wouldn't just strike up a conversation with a random person. I also wasn't near as sarcastic or ridiculously silly as I am now.
After losing over a hundred pounds, I now have the confidence to talk to random strangers, and care less about what they think of me. I'm much more extroverted, and generally a much more optimistic person. Seriously, some days, like today, I crap rainbows. I was never like that as an obese person.
What I'm saying is, due to your newfound confidence in your physical appearance, certain elements of your personality might be shining through now more than before. And men are noticing that.
Yes, men CAN be very shallow. So can women. But sometimes, you have to give them credit. Maybe these guys never noticed your personality because you were too busy trying to go unnoticed?
Oh and like another poster said confidence is the key word here. It's like a drug to men. They love it.
This, one thousand times over. Feel better about yourself = more confidence. I certainly tried to remain unnoticed before I started getting healthier.0 -
You know I'm not saying that. I want somebody who will be attracted to me whatever weight I am. It's the same reason I didn't want a guy who liked me because I'm bigger! Weight will change. My personality (for the most part) will not.
Wrong. Your personality DOES change with weight loss. Or rather, your real personality shines through..
*humps your leg*0 -
just be friends. when you notice a spark you'll know. be friends first. cause most divorces happen when they aren't friends. friends can argue or disagree and still be friends.0
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Congrats on the 24lb loss first off!!! I am sure your inner beauty is BEAMING on the outside, thats quite alot of weight to lose, so I am sure it shows in the way that you carry yourself and that my friend is APPEALING...
I say being kind to everyone who shows you the same can never hurt... I am a naturally overly friendly person so my advice is be thankful and smiley about compliments and conversation. Enjoy people for the company that they can keep and well, maybe you aren't attracted to one of these guys NOW, but whose to say after a few intellectual conversations that they can't be Mr. Right... Keep your mind open as well as your heart. As for the guy who has yet to notice your interested in him, well there are plenty of fish in the sea... Just sayin...0 -
You know I'm not saying that. I want somebody who will be attracted to me whatever weight I am. It's the same reason I didn't want a guy who liked me because I'm bigger! Weight will change. My personality (for the most part) will not.
Wrong. Your personality DOES change with weght loss. Or rather, your real personality shines through..
Example: When I was obese, I had a tendency to keep more to myself. I was still outspoken, blunt, and sometimes abrasive, but I wouldn't just strike up a conversation with a random person. I also wasn't near as sarcastic or ridiculously silly as I am now.
After losing over a hundred pounds, I now have the confidence to talk to random strangers, and care less about what they think of me. I'm much more extroverted, and generally a much more optimistic person. Seriously, some days, like today, I crap rainbows. I was never like that as an obese person.
What I'm saying is, due to your newfound confidence in your physical appearance, certain elements of your personality might be shining through now more than before. And men are noticing that.
Yes, men CAN be very shallow. So can women. But sometimes, you have to give them credit. Maybe these guys never noticed your personality because you were too busy trying to go unnoticed?
Oh and like another poster said confidence is the key word here. It's like a drug to men. They love it.
This is why I love you - seriously OP - ^^ this, right here!!0 -
I prefer the passive-aggressive approach of holding open the door for someone that is coming, and looking at them... Forcing them to speed up because you're holding the door.
that's also fun.
You're on of THOSE guys! So awkward when guys hold the door open for you when you're not even close.
Well, you are either the guy that makes them speed up, or the **** that didn't hold the door....for most of us men, it's a "damned if we do" or "damned if we don't" in most cases anyhow. Like being the nice guy or the bad boy.
My mother taught me manners, I hold the door for everyone. If someone is walking towards a door I'm leaving or opening, I hold it. Simple niceties, and doesn't cost me a darn thing. Sure hope I haven't offended anyone...I suck so bad at playing gender role etiquette games.0 -
Have you considered that you may have played the wallflower a bit when you were bigger, and now that you feel more confident you're actually noticing other people paying attention to you more? Enjoy it! Embrace it! Live your life, because you only get one shot at it.
Thinking that confidence you have now may be exactly what makes you more desirable. I found out that NOT focusing on 'the goal' (of a certain guy, getting laid, looking for a husband...etc,etc) and just letting life unfold while perusing your personal goals and enjoying the people around you was my ticket to happiness.0 -
You know I'm not saying that. I want somebody who will be attracted to me whatever weight I am. It's the same reason I didn't want a guy who liked me because I'm bigger! Weight will change. My personality (for the most part) will not.
Wrong. Your personality DOES change with weight loss. Or rather, your real personality shines through..
*humps your leg*
^^See. Girlfriend just exudes confidence. Bet she would have only given me a mild frisking when she was heavier.
*humps right back*0 -
Sometimes the waters run a bit shallow0
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This topic is near and dear to my heart. First off- congrats for the loss and newfound confidence!
I am also experiencing a large upswing of male attention. It does not suck. At all.
However.. I also have questions in my head such as "well.. why didn't you like me 70 lbs ago? I was the same person etc.".. or wanting to be with someone only if they would have wanted me at my highest weight and this sort of thing.
I think we all want someone who is going to love us unconditionally.. but to be honest?
I wasn't as confident and happy with myself before. I wasn't as attractive. I wasn't the same person I am now - happy, optimistic, super confident. So.. why should I expect every guy to have been attracted to me before? Is it shallow to have natural preferences? Really? I don't think so. I think we want to write men off quickly and call them shallow..but hey - regardless of whether you are the best person in the world.. if you are a guy who is a foot shorter than me.. I am just not going to be attracted to you.
Additionally.. I want a partner that has high standards for himself in terms of his health and general fitness ..because that's where I want to be too. I've made over my lifestyle and perspective completely.. I think it is natural to want someone who shares that. Is it shallow to want to be with someone fit? Well I don't think so.. because it shows a mind/body perspective and a clear lifestyle choice. It doesn't just have to be all about the appearances (though they are a major factor too).0 -
I love seeing the before/after pics here. In the 'before' pic, you can maybe see a glint of a smile, but a lot of the times, you can see shyness, hurt, or that the person is just putting on a face for the camera. Inside, they're probably thinking, "Oh, god, that picture-taking machine that I hate so much. This again. Fantastic. Oh well, smile."
... but in so many of the after pictures, you see people smiling brightly, genuinely, full of pride. They KNOW they look better, they feel better, and they've earned that sense of accomplishment. They're genuinely happy and proud and smiling with this depth of excitement they haven't felt in a long while.
Gets me every time.
:flowerforyou:0 -
You know I'm not saying that. I want somebody who will be attracted to me whatever weight I am. It's the same reason I didn't want a guy who liked me because I'm bigger! Weight will change. My personality (for the most part) will not.
Wrong. Your personality DOES change with weght loss. Or rather, your real personality shines through..
Example: When I was obese, I had a tendency to keep more to myself. I was still outspoken, blunt, and sometimes abrasive, but I wouldn't just strike up a conversation with a random person. I also wasn't near as sarcastic or ridiculously silly as I am now.
After losing over a hundred pounds, I now have the confidence to talk to random strangers, and care less about what they think of me. I'm much more extroverted, and generally a much more optimistic person. Seriously, some days, like today, I crap rainbows. I was never like that as an obese person.
What I'm saying is, due to your newfound confidence in your physical appearance, certain elements of your personality might be shining through now more than before. And men are noticing that.
Yes, men CAN be very shallow. So can women. But sometimes, you have to give them credit. Maybe these guys never noticed your personality because you were too busy trying to go unnoticed?
Oh and like another poster said confidence is the key word here. It's like a drug to men. They love it.
:flowerforyou:
This is the answer....END F'N THREAD!!0 -
I think you should treat them how you want to be treated. If you aren't interested, let them know. If you are, go with it. Enjoy the attention you're receiving. As for the other posters comments, I agree. Confidence can trump weight, every time. If you like yourself and are enjoying the new you, chances are someone else will too. Good Luck!0
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There are no magic words that fit every situation. Each guy is an individual and what works for one guy well might not work at all with another guy. That being said, keep it simple and honest.
Be honest. If a guy really cared for you it wouldn't matter what you weighed.0 -
There are no magic words that fit every situation. Each guy is an individual and what works for one guy well might not work at all with another guy. That being said, keep it simple and honest.
Be honest. If a guy really cared for you it wouldn't matter what you weighed.0 -
Could be that now with weight loss, you carry yourself with more confidence. This catches a guy's eye too
I have been smaller and bigger... I know that one thing a man always notices before anything else is your confidence.0 -
It's happened to me too!! It's so strange! Hahaha enjoy the attention x)0
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have fun and flirt back... giggle and smile alot lightly touch his arm whilst laughing its a suttle hint lets him know your interested... guys love it .... enjoy it
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Happened to me Just roll with it- you have no obligations- Stand tall, be confident, and flirt back- No harm no foul! 0
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It happens to the best of guy, prior to joining MFP I lost 30pds, so imagine 40pds lighter, ppl will notice....
At first it really bugs to see that guys who have known you for a very long time now decide you are attractive,
and want to take you out when before they barely noticed you....
well, my advice to you is to just meet people and decide on who to hang out, talk, date, etc. Don't mind that guy
you want to flirt with, you are a very pretty girl and you WANT GUYS TO COME TO YOU not the other way around.
I say be friends with guys and hang out... No friends with benefits please.... And you will find the man who steals your
heart and loves you for who you are, loves everything about you starting with your personality, sense of humor, etc.
And you know wouldn't change you even if you gained a little weight again.0 -
Agreed... but in order to care about you, the guy needs to get to know you first. Flirting is part of that "getting to know" ritual.There are no magic words that fit every situation. Each guy is an individual and what works for one guy well might not work at all with another guy. That being said, keep it simple and honest.
Be honest. If a guy really cared for you it wouldn't matter what you weighed.0 -
It's funny I was just talking about this with my friend at work. I have always been a very shy and awkward person when it comes to social situations with people I don't know well. So when Men started hitting on me oh man the awkward times roll. I agree with that the confidence boost you probably now have is a big factor because I noticed after I started being more confident with myself and being more outgoing is when the attention started. Good luck!
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You know I'm not saying that. I want somebody who will be attracted to me whatever weight I am. It's the same reason I didn't want a guy who liked me because I'm bigger! Weight will change. My personality (for the most part) will not.
I suggest you find a nice blind guy, since you don't want looks to influence his feelings.0 -
It's kind of fun to walk up to a door with no intention of opening it for yourself, especially if you are dressed up in makeup and high heels, because 9 times out of 10, some guy will lunge ahead to get it for you.
I prefer the passive-aggressive approach of holding open the door for someone that is coming, and looking at them... Forcing them to speed up because you're holding the door.
that's also fun.
Haha!0 -
Yes. I will judge you by your weight and level of fitness. I need to know that someone I am considering partnering myself with, has a healthy sense of personal responsibility, pride, strength and coping skills. I don't want someone who binges when they have feelings they can't process. I don't want someone that isn't active every single day. I don't want someone that doesn't understand that laziness lack of willpower and bad nutrition affect both halves of a partnership. I don't want someone grossly out of shape, I work hard hard hard on my body and I deserve the same. Yeah, I deserve it. An equal I look up to in everything important to me. That wont take my sht when im putting out excuses left and right, or when I stop teaching for new goals.
No, I wouldn't like you at any weight, and you wouldn't have liked me before I changed as well.. taking control of your life and health changes your personality and I have no desire for someone who's personality is not there yet.
Ill be your friend, but I wont be your other half. Halves are equals.0 -
for everyone
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