Impossible to eat healthy when in debt

It does seem to be more expensive to eat healthy at first. But you need to shop around. I found a wonderful farmers market that sell their own produce at prices so much lower than the grocery store. A head of lettuce in the grocery store, for instance, is 99 cents, at this farmers market, only 69 cents. Buying prepackaged salads cost much more then a head of lettuce, a thing of romaine and a carrot. The prepackeaged salads good bad faster, too. The fresh stuff also lasts much longer. Yes, you might have to take more time to cut it up, shred it up, etc., but it definitely saves money. Also, look for good deals on meats and stock up when it's on sale. Many grocery stores sell family size/bulk at a discount. Just separate it at home and freeze it (I suggest labeling it with the date, so you are always using first in/first out.) Another pretty good tip I've learned to shop the permitter of the grocery store. It seems all the 'good for you' stuff is there, produce, dairy, meats. The center aisles tend to be the junk...cookies, crackers, soda, etc. The only exceptions are pasta, rice, beans - I venture into the middle aisles for that. And soup is great to stock up on, too. (Because who has time to make that from scratch, and there's so many varieties to choose from!) They are filling and often on sale. Lastly, coupons, coupons, coupons. Don't buy anything from the middle aisles without coupons!!

Not being snarky here but what is it that you do if she's the one who's out earning a living? Are you a stay at home dad?

Again this all seems to come back to you and your wife sitting down and having a serious talk. It's not necessary to go on vacation once a month so there's an expense that you can nix.

If you're the one that's doing the grocery shopping how is she influencing what you buy?

Oh and sorry to burst your bubble but her "conservative republican upbringing" has NOTHING to do with her "spending morals". I'm a conservative yet I seem to know how to save money and buy what I can afford. I suspect her spending morals has more to do with how she was used to living before and it seems as though she's not about to give up that life style.

I still think people who are eating healthy don't see just how easy it is to get food that's not good for you.

:::::: Opens Sale Ad ::::::::
Oh look, 3 bags of family size chips for $4
Oh and look here, apple pie for $2 (no apples used, all artificial flavoring)
Oh and you can't go without hot dogs! 2 for a $1! What a steal! (1st ingredient is pork byproduct)
Oh and you can't have hot dogs without buns! $1 white hot dog buns (no whole grains, loaded with sugar)
But I wanna be healthy so lets get the diet pop 2 liter for $0.69 (Has aspartame which has been linked to brain tumors)
I just spent $10 for two meals and an entire week of snacks/desserts for a family of 4.

But just wait what's this?
"Bananas, $0.42 per pound" - On a family of 4 that would be $2 for a meal; why not get an apple pie instead and feed two meals?

^^^^^I don't agree with the above logic, but this is how many people think, including my wife^^^^^

It is absolutely true but it is not an excuse for not eating healthy.

Frozen veggies are relatively inexpensive for big bags and they are almost always on sale
Canned veggies are great and inexpensive -- also usually on sale -- and you can actually get them without anything bad added
Hebrew National makes natural hot dogs that don't have any HFCS or anything horrible in them
Annies Organic Mac & Cheese is good - no crap ingredients
Whole wheat breads and buns don't cost much more than the white breads and buns

Do you go grocery shopping with your wife?

Nope, my wife won't set foot in a store (severe social anxiety). So I have all the time in the world to browse each and every individual product and learn what's in them. And the more educated you can be about the product, the better choices you can make. But I bet if she DID do the shopping, I'd have some of the worst artificially flavored pennies on the dollar foods that are cancerous in my house to prepare and cook. OR she would stock up on that premium meat she craves and wouldn't get anything else to go with it.

But the logic of it all though is people don't know better that they are eating chemical compound death. All they see is the hot dog (seeing only the small details) but when they look at the ingredient list (the big picture) they will realize how much they did this obesity and health destruction to themselves.

So now I'm really confused about your sales ad if she doesn't go to the grocery store with you. Why then is it difficult for you to incorporate healthy foods into your menu if your wife is not doing the grocery shopping?

ETA: I also browse the ingredients of items as well and will not buy anything with added crap.

I think eating healthy is only expensive if you're buying lots of produce only because it goes bad fast so you have to hurry and eat it in 5-7 days or so. I like fresh way better than frozen so I spend the extra money on that and it's worth it to me. However I save money eating healthy because I'm not ordering take out or eating as much as I did before so my food lasts longer in that sense.
Plus if you stop buying treats and pop that helps too!

I agree whole-heartedly with this. Produce sucks. I have to shop 3 to 4 times a week to make sure I get produce that will stay fresh long enough for me to serve it. Sure, eating fresh produce is tough because you have to cut, cook, prepare it yourself, but at least it avoids all the nasty preservatives and with meat you avoid the sodium!

Frozen vegetables don't have preservatives. Ingredients on my store brand bag of frozen peas in the freezer: Peas.

ok, the question has to be asked....what are you getting out of this marriage? you have a wife who has no respect for you and makes the rules because she makes the money. why do you put up with that?

We are Yin/Yang. She keeps me in check, I keep her in check. It's like we are each other's babysitters. That and I definitely love her! Like I said before, I treat her like a princess in every other part of the relationship EXCEPT with money. I hate her spending morals because of her conservative republican upbringing (though I can respect her POV though). And she hates that I would rather eat sausage without sodium nitrate because nitrates have been firmly linked to cancer. I'm sorry but if $1 more gets me a sausage that isn't going to kill me I'm going to eat it; or we just don't get sausage. Hell, I could eat salmon and turkey every day, she's the one that needs variety. :indifferent:

i decided to check out your food diary and you do in fact eat chicken sausage almost daily. how is that healthy just because it doesn't have sodium nitrate. your sodium levels overall do seem pretty high. i'm not an expert though and i don't claim to be one. you're eating chocolate squares every day and chocolate covered almonds and liquid egg whites (what's wrong with buying eggs and separating them from the yolks?) applegate hot dogs are great - i've had them but seriously hebrew national are just as good and cheaper, however at the end of the day it's still a hot dog. a slice of pork tenderloin is better for you. your peanut butter, krema (had to look that one up never heard of it before) yes it's good and since it's just peanuts have you thought about making your own. do you really need to eat fuji apples every single day why not go for apples that are less expensive or better yet apple picking season is here - go and pick them. these are just some of my suggestions.

No one is reading the post. Why are all of you so lazy? I was saying that we do have the money to eat healthy and each and everyone of you low attention span people seem to think I'm trying to say that we can't eat healthy when in debt. Sure my topic says that, but no one is doing what is necessary: READ THE DETAILS!

I was just saying that my wife controls the money and wants to control the diet too. She wants to eat extreme budget and convenience (McDonald $1 menu and Tacobell) so that way we can pay off our debt. Me on the other hand, I want to eat healthy (home cooked meals using REAL food and not artificially created or sodium/sugar loaded processed crap) and I could care less about our debt. We're 30 years old, the debt collectors will waith 30+ years to get their money, as long as they are getting it. But if we push off our health, we won't have 30+ years to enjoy after we're debt free!

It's all about priority. But regardless, you all are pulling the whole "TL;DR" thing on me so rather just have this thread locked because you all are lazy and won't read. I learned my lesson - get to the point faster and Don't title things excuses. Thanks interwebs for trolling me and showing me your low attention spans.

Wow, who farted in your oatmeal? smh

So now I'm really confused about your sales ad if she doesn't go to the grocery store with you. Why then is it difficult for you to incorporate healthy foods into your menu if your wife is not doing the grocery shopping?

ETA: I also browse the ingredients of items as well and will not buy anything with added crap.

Can't buy foods if she doesn't pay the credit card off. I'm not allowed to use the debit card because she does scheduled payments and she wants her points on my Discover Card. But what happens when the Discover Card doesn't get paid off because she wants to triple pay the Goodyear credit card so she can avoid $20 in interest? Point is, a person who controls financials controls the family. I have no problem with that, as long as she gives me the $$$$$ when I need it to feed the family.

Not being rude but it sounds like you have some serious marriage issues in your house. I asked before but not sure you saw: Why don't you work? Are you a stay at home dad?

I don't agree that "he who makes the money controls the purse". My husband right now is the money maker in my household however I'm the one that pays the bills. We each have our own credit card and yes, his money is what pays mine however he's never told me I can't use my credit card. My spending has significantly decreased since I quit my job to start my businesses but I still use my credit card. You really and truly need to sit down with her and discuss the issues that you're talking about here. It doesn't matter that she makes the money and pays the bills. It seems as though she's either not getting the issue or you're just not laying it out for her properly.

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Good luck, Dad. Sending positive vibes your way.

I confess to reading the first few and last few pages of comments, and not all of the middle ones. You have received lots of advice on shopping frugally. I know it can be hard; we don't live in the US, and we also have numerous allergies/intolerances/celiac disease to contend with. Our bills are not low, but I do shop the sales, make a meal plan, cook from scratch, etc., and we do the best we can.

I would suggest a simple envelope budget. If your wife is looking at $500 for the week and allocating out what is for each type of expense, have her put each in a separate envelope, and since you are the one doing the shopping and cooking, give you the grocery envelope. She can play with the others, but yours stays in your pocket.

Try to include a few little treats for her in your budget; maybe on the day that you have baked potato, she could have half of a $0.99 mac and cheese box; or you could make your own veggie burgers, but keep a couple of cheapo beef burgers in the freezer for her; get a kind of tea that she likes; stuff like that. Not that you are encouraging her to eat unhealthily, just trying to be mindful of her preferences and give her a bit of what she want to keep her happy. Let her have a bit of a choice in options for this or that meal, while not relinquishing the reins.

You might look at some of the groups/forums here for vegetarians, celiacs, or other special diets and look for threads on those who have spouses who are not on the same diet, and how they compromise on cooking or building meals. Things like making taco salad, where you can avoid the high-fat/animal product toppings and have a meal that is mostly rice, lentils, and tomato sauce on corn chips, while she adds a bit of cheese or ground beef to hers; other build-your-own dishes like baked potato, haystacks, stacked salads, toppings for soups or salads, etc. Having a meal where you choose separate starches - when my kiddo has pasta, I have baked potato, and we use the same topping for both. Or where you have a mix of salads and sides and can come up with your own combination.

There are lots of ways to approach it if you go into with the attitude that you will buy frugal and healthy foods for you, with some occasional less healthy (but still frugal) choices for her to add as toppings, sides, or swap-outs. I think that as much as this being about money trouble, communication, or upbringing, it is probably also about comfort foods, stress, emotional support, and being afraid of change. Take it slow. Show her lots of love and support. Find ways to make meals special even within the budget. See if the tension starts to resolve.