Are looks all that matter?

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  • GorillaNJ
    GorillaNJ Posts: 4,052 Member
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    Try the ugly guys, they have lower self-esteem.


    Oh wait, or is that fat chicks?

    DAMN.


    Thats why where to find the best mouth parties!
  • Dub_D
    Dub_D Posts: 1,760 Member
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    I am always the friend. The great friend who gives good advice about relationships, though I have never been in one. How weird is that? :D I am the tomboy...the one who can beat them in drinking, the one who discusses hot girls, etc. Is that the problem?

    Yes. Make a move, show that you're interested, remind them you have a vagina.
  • nicgilding
    nicgilding Posts: 3
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    Since you refer to yourself as the one who can beat them at drinking and talk about hot girls, it sounds like you think of yourself as the "buddy" type. It's kind of like whatever you fear is what happens. If you think of yourself as the buddy type, you are going to be the buddy type and you are going to end up around the buddy type of men. I always viewed myself as the one girls could come to to talk about their problems, confide in, etc, and that's all I ended up being. Then, I started viewing myself as a catch, someone they could depend on, and really believed that I am attractive, and the girls that were my type naturally started coming to me. I think everyone can be attractive if they do their hair, wear nice clothes that compliment their features, and have an attitude that they are attractive. Think of yourself as a magnet for the kind of guys you are interested in, and see how many of them don't start popping up out of nowhere!
  • Blacklance36
    Blacklance36 Posts: 755 Member
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    Not all guys are just into looks. I want a partner that can lighten up, have fun, likes sex, can keep up with me.
    I also want someone who can look after herself and does not need constant pampering and attention. Looks are not everything.

    Having said that I cant count how many times I hear a woman say she is "looking for someone tall" and she doesnt mention faithful, compotent, will love me for me etc. so I think woman are just as bad as men when it comes to looks.
  • Icelandic_Saga
    Icelandic_Saga Posts: 2,926 Member
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    being someone you're not and trying to be like girls who you see with guys will get you laid.

    Being yourself and waiting for the right person will get you in a meaningful relationship.

    I'd rather be with a tomboy in a heartbeat than an annoying *kitten* barbie dolled "cheerleader" type. There are men out there who will love you for you.

    (talking a lot to my wife with this advice, as I snapped her out of not being her when we got together).

    Aww... this reminds me of a special episode of Blossom.

    speaking of blossom, i like Mayim Bialik as Dr. Amy Farrah Fowler much better. random and yes, pointless

    as for the subject! Looks aren't everything but they sure make it alot easier to gain attention of the the one you want :)
  • neverstray
    neverstray Posts: 3,845 Member
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    OK, so I don't know you. OK?

    I have seen heavier women hanging around less heavy women. I see the less heavier ones getting the men. The heavy one never gets anyone. There is some psychology there. Plus, the pool of men you are pulling from are is the wrong pool. Those men want less heavy women than yourself. You need to hang out with women your size, and hang out with men that want heavier women. I knwo that sounds weird, but it's true. The other thing is, you have to find some interest. What I mean is bar hopping or clubbing is kind of a thing where it's a hot guy / hot girl thing. It's visual. There are other ways though, like get into a fitness club, or biking club, or whatever you are into. You might meet a man that is also working to lose some weight and get healthy, and then right off the bat you have somehting in common.

    I think it's just a matter of getting into a different groove with this.

    Sorry if anything I said came off offensive as I have no intention at all of coming off that way. I'm just trying to help.

    I've seen it among my own friends and it always seemed like the heavier friends (men or women) can't compete with the skinny friends. So, they have to find something different to do to pair up with people.

    Again, it could also be a personality thing. Some women I know can't get a date to save their life, and it's pretty obvious why after you get to know them. It has nothing to do with how they look. LOL. Not saying that's you. Just saying...
  • Jacwhite22
    Jacwhite22 Posts: 7,012 Member
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    This is a tough one. Yes.....for initial attraction looks are all that really matter. That initial reaction sets the tone (friends vs. more than friends). Now don't get me wrong you can get out of the friendzone but once you are there it is very difficult. The other thing as other have said is to look at your standards....I can't really see your face in your pic so I can't rate or anything but I find sometimes 5's are interested in 9's 10's and wonder why nobody likes them back........It's not that noone ever will....but it's a lot less likely so it will take longer. All that said.....be happy with yourself.....you will find a guy eventually it will work with.
  • ShiloughCoy
    ShiloughCoy Posts: 73
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    I am always the friend. The great friend who gives good advice about relationships, though I have never been in one. How weird is that? :D I am the tomboy...the one who can beat them in drinking, the one who discusses hot girls, etc. Is that the problem?

    If you are discussing hot girls with men, perhaps they are inclined to think that hot girls is where your interest lies? Chances are there are some great guys who are interested in you but haven't made an overture simply because they think you like women. Imagine you were hanging out with yourself - what assumptions would you make about someone like you?

    And remember, men are also fearful of rejection, although our society expects them to "man up". Try showing some subtle signs of interest in someone and see what happens.

    I used to wonder why no one ever asked me out, until a trusted girlfriend let me know that my direct personality makes me a little intimidating to men. My answer at the time was to laugh out loud - Me? Intimidating? I'm 5 feet tall, for heaven's sake!! Hahaha! But she was right :) A little self-evaluation can go a long way...Good luck!
  • Eddie274
    Eddie274 Posts: 156
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    No. Looks aren't as important as someone's character and personality. Being able to trust someone, feel safe with them, and being able to trust them to be faithful is way, way above looks and size.
  • Mama_Mila
    Mama_Mila Posts: 511 Member
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    No....but they do matter.
  • Topsking2010
    Topsking2010 Posts: 2,245 Member
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    At your age looks are important but at my age I just want great sex and a sammwich!!!!
  • Cliffslosinit
    Cliffslosinit Posts: 5,044 Member
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    They seem to...nobody wants to touch cliffy:cry:
  • Jacwhite22
    Jacwhite22 Posts: 7,012 Member
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    They seem to...nobody wants to touch cliffy:cry:

    That's cause of your herpes sores.
  • BeeElMarvin
    BeeElMarvin Posts: 2,086 Member
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    They seem to...nobody wants to touch cliffy:cry:

    That's cause of your herpes sores.

    Hey! The commercials say 1 in 4 !!!
  • bleacheblonde
    bleacheblonde Posts: 333
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    Looks aren't everything to everybody, but they sure are for a lot of people it seems. Ugh. Society. It sounds like maybe guys tend to think of you as a "buddy" and less as a love interest. But idk, I am so bad at that stuff. I got lucky enough to snag me a man that enjoyed my crude sense of humour and swearing when he met me but still managed to appreciate my womanliness :happy: Maybe you should work on your flirting skills. Flirting is not automatic for me...I have to try pretty hard, but I noticed my love life became a LOT more active when I learned how to turn the charm on when someone's on my radar. You just have to practice it a bit :) Keep on being yourself, don't think you need to act like someone you're not just to get a guy!
  • bleacheblonde
    bleacheblonde Posts: 333
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    They seem to...nobody wants to touch cliffy:cry:

    ...Maybe it's your outfit? It's a little bit....flamboyant.
  • yokurio
    yokurio Posts: 116 Member
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    Yes, looks are important, especially in those first stages of attraction.

    This is actually very truthful. However, looks only get you so far. A lot of the time though, a bad body can hide the true natural beauty that a person has on the outside, but the real beauty is what is on the inside.
  • skinnyinnotime
    skinnyinnotime Posts: 4,141 Member
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    Are you sure you're making yourself 'available'? by that I mean are you aware of men when you're out and about? When you're out with friends do you just talk to them and not have a look around the bar?

    The reason I ask is because I have a friend who has been single for years now and I just know the reason is because a guy would never guess that she would be up for being chatted to and asked out. When we go out she doesn't even glance away from the people she's with, she certainly doesn't bother to be the one to attempt to make eye contact with any man and let them know she's interested etc. My friend is pretty, funny, stylish, has a great job and has the kindest heart ever but she's single because she doesn't try at all.
  • Cliffslosinit
    Cliffslosinit Posts: 5,044 Member
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    They seem to...nobody wants to touch cliffy:cry:

    ...Maybe it's your outfit? It's a little bit....flamboyant.

    cliffy is under the outfit....duh!
  • skinnyinnotime
    skinnyinnotime Posts: 4,141 Member
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    At your age looks are important but at my age I just want great sex and a sammwich!!!!

    At the same time???! :noway:

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