How to be a Man or Woman in America
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sounds like a load of BS to me0
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I am glad that I don't let others define what I need to do to be a man. I have my own definitions. That definition didn't changed when I was in Asia. Not while I stayed in Europe. Didn't changed in America.
I know what I want. I give it all I got. If I am with a woman, I am her protector, even if she is capable of taking care of herself, I am still there for her. I work hard and keep my family first. I don't consider any job less than other as long as I work hard. Men who try to be something else they're not are weak. Men who pretend to be tough are weak. My father is a short, obese guy who have never in his life done any physical labor. But he's a hard worker and a better and stronger man than I, or my brothers combined will ever be.
What defines a man or a woman? YOU do
Hi taunto0 -
Link to the TED talk?0
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What do men have to do or be to conform to male norms (in America)?
emotional control
work is first
pursue status
violence
"Never be perceived as weak."
Wasn't there a movie made about someone like this?0 -
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I think people need to keep in mind these are the preconceptions of norms in the US. I kinda agree with quite a few of these actaully for Men they are pretty spot on.
Emotional Control - Check Can't be breaking down and crying. That is sooo not manly.
Work Is First - Traditioanlly men are the bread winners/providers.
Pursue Status - This is also fairly common. Think about all the flashy cars people drive. No real purpose other then to be a status simbol. Same thing with a lot of other luxuries.
Violence - I agree with this one too. Who is expected to step up and fight. Men.
"Never to be perceived as weak" - Again accurate. Weakness isn't traditiaonlly a quality persued by men.0 -
You forgot married.0
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What do men have to do or be to conform to male norms (in America)?
emotional control
work is first
pursue status
violence
"Never be perceived as weak."
heh. I got this.
Calm. Collected.
Good job that gets done.
Good status, above others.
Train to fight 6x a week.
Step up or step back..
werd.
.....so hot0 -
Did they mention the ages of those surveyed? The answers received seem to be what very young people with no life experience would answer.0
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Again with the conceptiosn of women I think it's along fairly similar lines.. Well teh social expectations are anyway..
Nice - Pleasant, friendly not a total *****.
Thin - Definately in there. The conception that men prefer thin women is true.
Modest - I think this refers to in appearance and attitude. Being a lady as opposed to some saucy wench.
Use all resources for appearances - How many shoes do you ladies own? How many outfits? How much make up? How many of you won't leave the house unless your all together? Yeah I would say that one exists.
"have it all, do it all, be it all- and never let 'em see you sweat" - I think this is the perception of the modern woman. She's not some homemaker but a go getter who can have a career, family, successful relationship and look good doing it..
Keep in mind this isn't how things actually are but how people surveyed think they are.0 -
OP, for clarification, are you asking if this is the gender stereotyping that goes on in America and is this what is expected of these respective genders?0
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Yes'm, basically. That was the question posed originally in the research.
I'm asking if you'd agree with the answers given by those polled. There was not a lot of detail given in the TEDtalk about WHO was polled. I definitely have felt the expectation to be all of those things, and wondered what MFPers would say...0 -
Just re-watched the Brene Brown TED talks on youtube, and was thinking about this bit. Researchers at Boston College asked the question below and got these answers.
What do women have to do or be to conform to female norms (in America)?
nice
thin
modest
use all avalable resources for appearance
"have it all, do it all, be it all- and never let 'em see you sweat"
What do men have to do or be to conform to male norms (in America)?
emotional control
work is first
pursue status
violence
"Never be perceived as weak."
As a woman, I know I feel the pressure of the Perfection beast like whoa, but do you all agree? That's who we have to be and how we're expected to organize our priorities?
I am a grown *kitten* man with a beard, I don't need some researcher to tell me how I should act or should be. I believe in the law of return...what you give is what comes back to you.
Me gusta.0 -
No, I don't agree with the researchers findings.0
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Control emotions
Family is always first
*kitten* and your status
Violence only when words fail... and then be the last one standing
Never be perceived as stooopit0 -
Not going to lie, I try hard to make it look like my life is easy. Seems like it fits with those expectations I guess.0
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Yes'm, basically. That was the question posed originally in the research.
I'm asking if you'd agree with the answers given by those polled. There was not a lot of detail given in the TEDtalk about WHO was polled. I definitely have felt the expectation to be all of those things, and wondered what MFPers would say...
Cool. I just wanted to clarify. That's what I got from your post but from some of the answers here it seemed like people were getting something else from it.
I'm not American. Growing up there WERE expectations placed on me though and they are as follows:
As a woman I was expected to:
Get married young
Date any man who asked me out (If I said no I was being a '*****')
Marry any man who asks
Be independent but NOT assertive (go figure)
As WELL as the things you listed.0 -
Just re-watched the Brene Brown TED talks on youtube, and was thinking about this bit. Researchers at Boston College asked the question below and got these answers.
What do women have to do or be to conform to female norms (in America)?
nice
thin
modest
use all avalable resources for appearance
"have it all, do it all, be it all- and never let 'em see you sweat"
What do men have to do or be to conform to male norms (in America)?
emotional control
work is first
pursue status
violence
"Never be perceived as weak."
As a woman, I know I feel the pressure of the Perfection beast like whoa, but do you all agree? That's who we have to be and how we're expected to organize our priorities?
Edit for clarity: The researchers weren't telling us what we're supposed to be, they only spit out what all the people polled said. It's what WE (Americans) feel/believe/said the expectations are...
Link to the talk:http://youtu.be/psN1DORYYV0
It's about a lot. This was just a piece...
Personally, as a woman I want to be smart, thin, smart, fit, smart, strong, smart, and I like being natural. No make up. No $$$$$ clothes.
None of those male qualities are attractive to me at all. I can’t stand men who are over emotional.0 -
Being a lady as opposed to some saucy wench.
Speaking as possibly the sauciest wench you know, this made me lol:P
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