Partners who "love you no matter what"

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  • grandmakaye44
    grandmakaye44 Posts: 1,205 Member
    The greatest gift of life is to be loved unconditionally by someone. Don't throw it away by blaming him for your problems! My husband has loved me through thick and thin and all the yoyoing ( and a lot of other stuff, too) for 47 years. I can't ask for more.
  • BogQueen1
    BogQueen1 Posts: 320 Member
    my current ex was the "I'd love you more if you weighed less type", constantly telling me how fine this girl was and how fine that girl was while telling me how imperfect I was. It didn't make me want to lose weight to please him, It made me want to punch him in the face. I decided to lose weight for me. If your partner loves you no matter what, that's a good thing, a great thing in fact, but I've learned that when it comes down to changing something that you want changed about yourself, it has to come from within YOU. If you want it, go for it, and know that he'll be there with you through your journey and cheering for you the whole way.

    This. Especially the part about wanting to punch him in the face. But until you want to do it for yourself, all the wanting to punch him in the face won't matter. If you have a supportive partner, consider yourself blessed and take advantage of it, as long as YOU want to make the change. I have a SO who would continually sabotage me when I said "I don't want to eat that", there were literally times he would force me to eat or drink something, shredding my diet. I think I finally managed to get it through his head though, because now when I stand back in the pantry 'visiting' the food, he'll ask me what I'm doing and tell me I don't need any of that and give me a big hug.

    Sorry that's a little off your topic. But when you want to do it for yourself having that supportive partner can be that extra little nudge you need sometimes to stay the course, as long as you tell him why it's important to you, then he should see it for what it is and be there to give you that boost when needed. Good luck!
  • Lisah8969
    Lisah8969 Posts: 1,247 Member
    It didn't make me want to lose weight to please him, It made me want to punch him in the face.

    I know it wasn't funny when it was said, but this made me laugh out loud! Glad he is your ex and that you have found motivation from within. Do it for you! :D

    Oh, but it is funny! It made me LOL as well!

    I agree with other posters...this all has to be for you and about you! That said, having him on board with your goals is also important. Keeping you focused on your goal and supporting you is what you need as opposed to knowing that he doesn't care one way or the other.
  • zoe1945
    zoe1945 Posts: 21
    Some of you ladies are very lucky to have such supportive significant others. Mine hasnt come near me in years, I do realise this is his problem not mine, but if he thinks he''s going to get some when Im thinner he''s got another thing coming lol. Anyway just do everything in life including losing weight for you and nobody else.
  • andilion
    andilion Posts: 44 Member
    For me, it's actually important to know that my husband still loves me and is attracted to me at my current weight which is my highest since we got married. Low self esteem is not a good motivator for me. It just makes me feel worthless and like it's not worth putting in any effort to get better. Because I know he loves me "no matter what," I can still feel good about sticking to my goals and putting in the effort whether or not I see a decrease in the scale that week.
  • wickednitsch
    wickednitsch Posts: 29 Member
    I recently started going to the gym regularly about a month ago. We do not have full length mirrors in our home so when I looked in one at the gym and saw what my butt and thighs looked like from behind I was outright angry that my sweet and kind husband had been telling me how good I look all this time. :noway:

    But here's the truth - my size and my husband's love for me are completely unrelated. He's not the cause of my gain and he certainly wouldn't love me any more or less based on my dress size.

    Think about it, how often are you really analyzing your partner's body? I rarely look at my husband's body parts separately. As long as that body is connected to his incredible heart and loving eyes, it doesn't matter. Sure I want him to be healthy (and have awesome stamina :wink: ), but his physical body doesn't affect how I feel about him as a person. Your partner probably feels the same about you. I hope he is lucky enough for you to feel that way about him.
  • hmweis1
    hmweis1 Posts: 1
    I have a husband who is the exact same way. He doesn't look at me any different now than when we met and I was 60 lbs thinner. I just had two babies in the past two years, so I think he knows some weight gain comes with the territory. I am so, so thankful that he's just as attracted to me now, but I understand where you're coming from "hey, my husband loves me, so why not quit?" So, I've just come up with other reasons to lose weight. #1. Being able to keep up with a rambunctious 2 year old and needy infant. #2. I have a *kitten* ton of clothes in my closet I can't wear and would love to. #3. My wedding ring no longer fits, and I refuse to size it up, so I'm going to lose weight so it will fit again.
  • 13inchestogo
    13inchestogo Posts: 296 Member
    My boyfriend loves me no matter what too and we are lucky!! So love him for that !!

    Here's my point of view. Me and him both know our sex lives depend on our fitness levels. So I am just not willing to give that up, I stay healthy for that when it comes to our relationship also I do it for my own reasons. I find if your sole purpose is to please another person it is never as fuflling as when you do it for yourself. When it comes to your own health/weight loss at least. Of course doing things for your partner is important, but I wouldn't expect my boyfriend to start nagging me if I felt I was getting overweight or unhealthy. Good luck and I hope you can start focusing on other things and begin working out and feeling great! For you and your boyfriend :) !
  • vytamindi
    vytamindi Posts: 845 Member
    Some of you ladies are very lucky to have such supportive significant others. Mine hasnt come near me in years, I do realise this is his problem not mine, but if he thinks he''s going to get some when Im thinner he''s got another thing coming lol. Anyway just do everything in life including losing weight for you and nobody else.

    If he doesn't want you at your worst, he doesn't deserve you at your best! Not saying you look bad, but that's a quote I've seen around "the pinterests" lol
  • Koldnomore
    Koldnomore Posts: 1,613 Member
    Be very careful what you wish for.

    Weightloss is such a long and subjective battle, others can not do it for you. If you blame others by saying their love and forgiving attitude is a problem for you, you are basically saying it's not your responsibility to lose weight. You create excuses (if only my mother had cooked better, if only my partner was more judgemental, if only work was closer so I could walk, if only pigs could fly and cakes were made of air) for why you don't lose weight.

    The danger with this is that you risk becoming very angry and bitter, and start resenting a man whose only flaw is to love you as you are. And if you try to change him and he actually starts mentioning to you that you should watch your weight, you risk resenting him even more - because then he is judging you and calling you on your errors.

    My advice: Leave well enough alone, love your partner for loving you, and aim at being worthy of his love by making yourself as lovable as possible. Maybe that means losing weight - or it may mean taking responsibility for your own actions, and not make excuses for your flaws and faults.

    THIS^^
    Think about it, how often are you really analyzing your partner's body? I rarely look at my husband's body parts separately. As long as that body is connected to his incredible heart and loving eyes, it doesn't matter. Sure I want him to be healthy (and have awesome stamina :wink: ), but his physical body doesn't affect how I feel about him as a person. Your partner probably feels the same about you. I hope he is lucky enough for you to feel that way about him.

    And this ;)

    My partner has never once said anything about my weight. He tells me he loves me everyday. I am losing weight for myself but he will obviously benefit as well!
  • Iceman1800
    Iceman1800 Posts: 476
    As men, we know that the first time we told our wife/gf she was getting fat, we'd be sleeping with our hand for a while. Don't expect your partner to tell you this because you will hold it against him.

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