whats wrong with me???

I completely know how you feel. I plan to work out and to eat healthy and I do great all day, sometimes even through dinner. But then the sun goes down and its 9pm and I tell myself "I did so good today, I deserve a treat....." and it just spirals down ward from there. One cookie turns into two, which then needs milk and the next thing I know I just ate half a box! Keeping my hands busy at night and my mind occupied helps. I just try to remind myself constantly that I am a work in progress.

thanks peeps...i totally get using my weight as a shield...also i fear failure but am oh so familiar with it! ive also had such a strssful few months, but hopefully a lot of stuff will be cleared up soon.
as for exercise, all i do is walk my dog daily, ive some back problems so sometimes even getting out of bed is a major hurdle for me (not good when i am a student nurse lol)...
also its my mums wedding in 10 months and ideally i need to loose 6 stone to look slim in my bridesmaid dress, but it seems so much and daunting and also i dont think its achievable, obviously its oh so easy to put on, not so easy to get off, and slim or not i hate the thoughts of the foto's and people looking at me. ......
i will get there eventually!!!!! lol

Have you ever tried doing something other than just cutting down on calories?

For example, have you ever done something like the Whole30 challenge, or cut out a food/food group temporarily in order to force yourself to try alternatives? (It doesn't have to be something "extreme" like raw vegan or paleo, nor does it have to be permanent.)

One thing I found was that I always risked going over my calories, never really felt full (and was often feeling hungry after just a couple of hours) and always had issues with meeting my protein needs (and for someone active in strength-based stuff, that's not really good). I kept thinking "I need more protein," but, of course, I never really changed anything, so I never really got more protein (or when I did, it was because I ate more in general). Since I wasn't losing weight (or inches) with what I was doing, I decided to start loosely following the Primal Blueprint. Namely, I cut out grains and strive to eat whole foods in general (basically, PB gives me a framework to help me think about what I'm eating), and use the recommendations for carb numbers for weight loss as a starting point for determining my macro ratios (it's a lot less complicated than it sounds, I assure you!).

What happened was that it forced me to eat more protein (and fat, which isn't necessarily a bad thing), which in turn helped me feel full easier (because carbs don't fill me up), and kept me from getting hungry every couple of hours. That, of course, led me to not eating nearly as much as I did before. Now, instead of pushing my 2000-2300 calorie limit, I comfortably sit closer to 1600. I also found that breads make me feel kind of bloated and "fat", and I just in general feel better without them (I've seen some people report the same thing with things like some meats, dairy, or a number of other foods), which made it easier to stay on track.

Nothing is wrong with you.

Self-sabotage is a time-honored tradition that many of us have to deal with. Usually, there's some other issue out there that keeps you from losing the weight (for me, I was using the weight as a shield from attention). Weight is such an emotional thing for many of us that sometimes all the willpower and logic in the world aren't enough to trump that emotional binge. Generally, if you can figure out what you're feeling when you're eating it will help give you an advantage the next time you're losing control. Pay attention to your body.

And I don't think the reasons we self-sabotage are bull****, as others have suggested. They may not be logical, but they're still valid.

^^^^^^^ THIS

Planning my meals for the day helps sometimes. Exercising generally makes me lose my appetite and feel better.

BUT I have found that the best way for me to not slip is is the "out of sight, out of mind" method. If I am in the office and not surrounded by snacks, or if I walk home on a certain street that doesn't have a 7-11 or a grocery store or if I keep myself busy (volunteering, playing sports, going to meet up groups, taking classes etc.) then I do not snack and I NEVER go over my limit

But if I start to avoid social functions or if decide to work from home so that I could have complete "control" over my food intake - it has the opposite effect - I almost always eat too much!

I do the same darn thing all the time. I don't know why we do it. I can't find the magic combination to stay focused on the prize. If anyone of you have any advice I would love to hear it. I lose 10 gain 11. It is a vicious cycle. I do have a goal to lose 50 lbs by end of February. I hope I can do it. not so sure these days.

Wanting to do it is the same thing as being interested in doing it. Stop being interested and get committed to it!

Planning every meal for the day will help you keep on track but it's up to you to be honest and do not eat anything else other then on your plan. Another thing I've been told is "If you can't eat it responsibly, keep it out of your house." so in other words if chips are the issues, toss them out. If cookies, cake, ice cream Ect... Is the issue get it out of your house.

My issue is sweets, I can do them responsibly until TOM so then I have to either indulge and regret later or keep them away from me all together. No one can do it for us, we are in charge of what goes in our mouths.

I doubt there is anything wrong with you. But there is obviously something wrong with the weight loss plans you've been using. Try different healthy eating plans and exercises. There is no one right way to lose weight and get fit, but there is one way that will work best for you. When you find that, it will work. If you start something and are miserable, don't continue. Find something else. If you want to lose consistently and keep it off you need to find something you can be happy doing for the rest of your life.

Start small. I started with a small caloric reduction and started walking at lunch around the parking lots at work. I added a little by little. I get bored easily so I try a new activity each week. Right now, I am enjoying zumba on the wii. My weight loss has been slow but stable. Best of all, I don't feel like I am dieting so it should not be hard to maintain.

I don't think the reasons we self-sabotage are bull****, as others have suggested. They may not be logical, but they're still valid.

They[re not bull****, and they often have their own logic if you dig sufficiently deeply. If you talk to a complete stranger who isn't in the habit of self-examination, the underlying cause is not likely to come out because we all know what we're "supposed" to think and feel about things like weight loss.

I have found that, assuming a person of normal intelligence with adequate resources to attack a problem (money, support), a recurring problem usually is evidence of an emotional issue. Although it can't hurt to think through the problem once or twice, it's not going to resolve the issue because it's not intellectually-based.

In cases like that, it's better to keep thinking to a minimum and to focus instead on structures and habits that will support the desired behavior. You're unlikely to think yourself into the right solution. Because it's about feelings that may have formed when you were quite young.

everytime i do it....
i make a plan to loose weight cause i hate who i see looking back at me....and then i sabotage myself and go over my already very generous calorie allowence....dont understand it, cause i desperately want to be healthy and slim.....ugh....i need a slap

At the time you make a bad eating choice your desire to eat is more powerful than your "desperate[]" need "to be healthy and slim."

Why? What happens? If you can't explain it because you don't know, can you at least figure out a way to prevent it? (Don't keep the wrong kind of food around, etc.) Not 100% of the time, not 90%, even 30% will do for now.

Beating up on yourself is not helpful. It creates intensity, drama which may make undesirable behavior more, rather than less attractive. Ideally, losing weight should be routine and boring.

The best change you could make is to move toward loving yourself. Cheesy sounding, but true. It was the biggest epiphany I've had. You have to stop the cycle of self hate, because how can you be expected to care for something that you don't like? At the end of the day health is about looking in that mirror and seeing the wonderful physical form you've been given, making friends with it, and then taking good care of it. We only get one body, and it responds better to love and care, than to loathing and punishment. It's OK not to like the way your body looks right now, but once you can accept how awesome it is in general, everything else becomes exponentially easier.

You need a slap? No. You need a reality check. Do what hurts the most - LOOK at yourself. LOOK in the mirror and SEE the person you've become. Only when I did that, did I realise I had to lose weight and so I did. If you feel nothing motivates you then you obviously haven't realised that you need to lose it.