the worst thing ever said.

I know this isn't something you can make somebody else feel, but at some point you will realize that you really control this. Don't fear falling off the wagon. Just make reasonable, small committments to yourself every day that are not necessarily anything dramatic, but are tiny steps in the right direction. Commit yourself to sticking to them, and you will not fail. The key is to just focus on going in the right direction, not seeing a particular result by a particular time. Approaching it as a marathon rather than a sprint (as cliche as that sounds...) will help you stay on track. Be reasonable to yourself and know that you won't always have the same burst of enthusiasm/commitment. Some days when you feel it more, you can push yourself harder. But on days that you don't have that burst, no need to push yourself. Just keep yourself on track those days and commit not to letting yourself go. It doesn't need to be a one-or-the-other thing. If you are thinking of ice cream, look into the vegan versions (Purely Delicious peanut butter zig sag is really good, and some others probably are too) and commit to not letting yourself eat anything decadent after 8 or 9 pm at night. Be sure to track everything honestly on MFP. You sound like a reasonable person; you can definitely do this!