Unsolicited advice
PJ64
Posts: 866 Member
Does anyone get unsolicited advice NOW that you've lost or been losing weight? I get it often, especially from out of shape people! I was getting coffee today and put in some pumpkin spice creamer (30 calories) and this lady at work said "Thats how you start back to getting fat!" ummmm she is about 4'9" and about 4'9" wide! I held my tongue (which is hard for me) but SERIOUSLY??
Why am I getting all this advice now that I have lost weight? The advice usually starts with "You've lost a lot of weight BUT you know what you NEED to do now...........(insert crazy nonsensicle advice here)" Where were these "experts" when I was struggling with my weight?
Why am I getting all this advice now that I have lost weight? The advice usually starts with "You've lost a lot of weight BUT you know what you NEED to do now...........(insert crazy nonsensicle advice here)" Where were these "experts" when I was struggling with my weight?
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Replies
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Yeah, I get comments like that. The worst was when I donated all of my old clothes. I heard from someone at work, that maybe I shouldn't have done that.
I was told that I look too skinny and that I need to bulk up in the shoulders.
What is weird, is that I am in the best shape of my life. So, whatever.0 -
say thanks, move on and enjoy your day0
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Actually, that has happened to me a couple of times, and I like it. I love being able to tell people that I don't have to sacrifice yummy food just to lose weight and that the secret is understanding nutrition and how your body uses food. That usually shuts them up, and they walk away because they don't want to hear a lecture on nutrition! :laugh:0
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I am glad I never got into that situation.
But everyone is an expert at medicine and has some cosmic reason why I have the types of allergies that I do.0 -
My perpetually overweight mom likes to harp on me not to eat at night. I eat whenever I want to and I have had no problem losing weight. I don't think she can quite get that "eating at night" is not "night-eating" and it's not a bing; my fiance and I just keep something of a late schedule.0
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Actually, that has happened to me a couple of times, and I like it. I love being able to tell people that I don't have to sacrifice yummy food just to lose weight and that the secret is understanding nutrition and how your body uses food. That usually shuts them up, and they walk away because they don't want to hear a lecture on nutrition! :laugh:
Great idea, I will this one. Thanks0 -
Advice from a person that is obviously not just obese but morbidly obese just cracks me up. I commented at work on night that I was having a hard time consuming quality calories on my night shifts. Here comes advice from a woman who need to consider taking her own advice. She suggested a protein drink from a particular company as a possible solution. Granted I did look into said drink and now have it in the fridge, but all I could think at the time was why on earth is she drinking protein drinks?0
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I get advice from everyone telling me what i need to do. As if I was not the one who lost 50lbs all on my own!0
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I'm only just beginning, so no one has really noticed that I'm losing weight yet... But I haven't really told anyone for this reason in particular. Aside from my closest family members and my MFP cheerleading squad, no one knows. When people start to notice (or you let it slip) that you're getting healthy, suddenly everyone starts crawling out of the woodwork with their M.D. from Google University in hand, trying to tell you what you should and shouldn't do with your body. I've even found MFP-ers are terrible about this. (Myself included on occasion). There are billions of people in the world. Don't let one ruin your day.
Keep doin' what you're doin! Clearly it's working!0 -
I get diet advice from over weight people and weight lifting advice from underweight people.0
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Yeah people start to tell me no carbs and no sugary drinks (thank you, I know). I just keep telling them what I'm doing, and that it's working and it's nothing fancy except cutting calories and exercising!
I also hate when people tell me that I don't need to lose one more pound. That's the worst for me...I KNOW they are trying to be nice, but don't tell me I don't need to lose anymore when I absolutely do.
I said to a friend something about frozen yogurt was at least healther than ice cream (NOT that it's HEALTHY, but it's certainly lower calories than regular ice cream)....and she was like 'not always, check the labels!' That irritated me because ALL I DO is check labels. It just kind of felt like she was saying "you are overweight, you don't know any better".0 -
Absolutely, but since I know my progress and what's worked for me, I'll keep at it.0
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I'll quote a great great advice I was given by a very smart man: "Assume everyone else is an idiot".
Fall back to that, and smile, and don't take it personally.0 -
I just tell big mouthed people that now that I am in better shape, my wife and I have more frequent and better sex. Then I offer to show them my new piercings.0
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say thanks, move on and enjoy your day
I love that response.
After I lost the first 30 lbs, everyone suddenly knew what was best for me. They scrutinze everything I eat and know exactly what workouts I should be doing. I think from now on, I'm going to smile, thank them, and keep it moving.0 -
I tend to find that people who are generally unhappy with their lives will aim at us even if we are kicking *kitten* at what we're doing. I have a friend (not a good one) of mine who literally says stuff like "you go out to eat ALL THE TIME I don't know how you're losing weight" (Well that's her perception of my life) and has also told me stuff like "you're such a workout-aholic." and "do you even eat anything or are you starving yourself". The problem is shes a fat b**ch who is miserable in her life and has recently gained 15 pounds. Haha I just think of it as Karma
She needs to Quit judging my damn lifestyle and take a look in the mirror. But they won't. They feed off of trying to make awesome people like us miserable
You rock and ENJOY THAT COFFEE!
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I think some people need to make themselves feel better about themselves.
Others might really be trying in their own misguided way, to support and help.0 -
IKR, I mostly get, don't lose anymore, you wll blow away. I am dead in the middle of what is healthy for my height & age, hardly scrawny. Everybody is an expert. "MD from Google University" I love that.0
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The "no it all's " are the ppl that are most likely to be not doing anything. They usually wish that they are getting the results you are but dont and want to bring you down and make you feel as though your not doing as well as you are. Remember that old saying " those who can DO, do.... those who CANT, teach " lmao.0
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I'll quote a great great advice I was given by a very smart man: "Assume everyone else is an idiot".
Fall back to that, and smile, and don't take it personally.
Absolutely this!0 -
I'm guilty of giving advice. I guess it depends on the advice? I don't consider what was said in the original post to BE advice, just a casual, misguided statement.
I asked a few weeks back why a friend of mine didn't come to a party. Her husbands response was that it didn't fit in her calories. I joked 'it's all good, it's protein' and was snapped back at by 'Well, you're not her trainer, so thanks for your advice'.
*Headdesk*0 -
Remember that old saying " those who can DO, do.... those who CANT, teach " lmao.
Knowing lots of very capable teachers myself, I hate that "old saying."0 -
All the time...they also want to know the secret of my sucess...I'm not sure why it is more acceptable to say "Stress, Tequila and Men" than hard work lifting weights.0
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Absolutely,
Knowing that i would get remarks, some eye rolling and people saying to themselves that i wouldn’t be able to do it, i kept to myself the fact that i was on a diet. Now that the weight loss is really visible, the few people who’ve started to come forward are either asking me what I’m doing and that I shouldn’t be doing it or are telling me I should stop loosing weight (although I’m still considered overweight).
When they all saw me gain weight, they had no problem with it. Now that I’m loosing it, they all have problems and are concerned. It’s ridiculous.0 -
IKR, I mostly get, don't lose anymore, you wll blow away. I am dead in the middle of what is healthy for my height & age, hardly scrawny. Everybody is an expert. "MD from Google University" I love that.
I get this too - Don't lose anymore!!!! And it's always from peeps larger than me. I'm just getting to the weight that my build/height should be ..duh0 -
I've been asked a couple of times if I'm ok ... [ you sick ? ] and for my diet secret [ my reply is cocaine ... prevents lengthy discussions with my expert colleagues ]0
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People do this all the time for all sorts of things.
I fly home to visit my family twice a year. I know exactly what to expect at the airport, I know how early I need to be there, I know what I can carry on and what I can't. Inevitable each time I have 2 or 3 people tell me all kinds of nonsensical things I need to do while flying, people who haven't flown in decades!
Same with when you have a cold, and I struggle with wanting to give advice here too. You get a cold and everyone wants to tell you exactly what works and how to get rid of it. If you were to do all the things everyone suggests you would be in the hospital because of all the bad interactions.
I'm still on the front end of loosing weight, I try not to talk about it with the people I spend more waking hours with than anyone else, coworkers. I don't want or need a million different opinions on how I should loose weight, unless I wan't to go totally crazy.0 -
I got comments after I had my son and was walking to lose weight. They said I wouldn't lose anything just by doing that and I lost 80 pounds! It did take a while but i wasn't counting my calories at the time.0
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Actually, that has happened to me a couple of times, and I like it. I love being able to tell people that I don't have to sacrifice yummy food just to lose weight and that the secret is understanding nutrition and how your body uses food. That usually shuts them up, and they walk away because they don't want to hear a lecture on nutrition! :laugh:
Love it! I would personally take a sip of that coffee, look her right in the eye and say mmmmmmmm 0 -
IKR, I mostly get, don't lose anymore, you wll blow away. I am dead in the middle of what is healthy for my height & age, hardly scrawny. Everybody is an expert. "MD from Google University" I love that.
I get this too - Don't lose anymore!!!! And it's always from peeps larger than me. I'm just getting to the weight that my build/height should be ..duh
Sadly, I had a good friend start telling me that I was unhealthy and looked younger with a round face...all bs if you ask me...She is struggling with her weight and wants company in my opinion. I'm short, and can still stand to lose another 15lbs..yeah that puts me at a low number, but I can still see fat, and that needs to go.
The other thing I was amused by was two of my bosses discussing whether I had been taking dieting pills...I mean really?0
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