How much SHOULD a couple have in common

one thing: the amount of "two person yoga" they want to participate in (together that is)

I feel like my SO is my twin...we're too much alike.

My hubby and I are opposites. He's an introvert; I'm an extrovert. He's a morning person; I'm a night person. He's very much into routine; I'm spontaneous. We like different movies, different music, have different hobbies. Our backgrounds and upbringing were different. We have different parenting styles. We speak different "love languages." He's the romantic; I'm more practical.

But on the biggies--faith, values, life priorities, even political views--we are on the same page. So to me, all the other differences are small stuff. They make our relationship exciting. The flame is still alive.

We dated for 2 1/2 years before getting married, and we'll celebrate our 13th anniversary this December.

They should speak the same "language" in areas each considers most important. ie.. If political viewpoint is a basis for ones being, the partner that does'nt share a similar view will be a constant irritation. Conversely, if that is a shared value, it becomes another "bond" between the two..

Think about what truely matters to you, what is negotiable, and use that as your guide to compatibility.

Chemistry usually has an over-riding veto on most things logical, but as we all know.. chemistry won't cover up all ills.!

I don't think it's a matter of how much you have in common, but WHICH topics you agree on. For instance, my husband and I don't agree on music or movies or decorating in many cases, BUT when it comes to things like how to raise our kids, views on God/religion, friendships, family relationships, etc. - we really click on those topics and understand each other.

And for the major stuff we don't always agree on, we're both respectful of each others differences (although we pretty much razz the hell out of each other for the minor stuff). We also compromise with each other without compromising who we are. For instance, he won't try to hang an entrail-filled H.R. Giger print in the living room, and I don't attempt to redecorate the entire bedroom in leopard-print and disco balls. Stuff like that.

Views on marriage & kids.

Well and if you're religious. You should share those values too.

I'm a complete atheist and my wife is very active in the local church (Church Warden etc etc..). Our next anniversary will be 30 years together. You can have the same moral values without the same religious beliefs.

I'm surprised how many people think you have to have the same political and religious leanings as your partner. I am borderline atheist, my husband is non-practicing Christian. I am extremely liberal, he is moderately conservative. As long as you respect each other you don't have to share a mind.

Now what we do have in common are interests that allow us to do things together. We both ride motorcycles. We both love to watch and attend sporting events. We play video games together. We both pursing weight lifting goals. We watch some tv shows together.

We also have our separate pursuits as well. I enjoy reading, crafting, and dancing, while he does things like golf, team sports, and mechanical modifications of our cars and bikes. We almost never want to see the same movies, so we alternate choice there. He is an extrovert and I am an introvert, so he gets me to socialize more than I would on my own, and I curb his partying and spending habits. It works for us.

In my opinion, one of the major problems with having drastically different religious and political views comes into play if you decide to have children down the line. Which parent has it right, and which parent doesn't (from the child's point of view) know what I mean?

For me a similar sense of humor is important. An agreement on having children at some point is important as well as how to manage finances and such. Other things may apply too.

I'm surprised how many people think you have to have the same political and religious leanings as your partner. I am borderline atheist, my husband is non-practicing Christian. I am extremely liberal, he is moderately conservative. As long as you respect each other you don't have to share a mind.

Now what we do have in common are interests that allow us to do things together. We both ride motorcycles. We both love to watch and attend sporting events. We play video games together. We both pursing weight lifting goals. We watch some tv shows together.

We also have our separate pursuits as well. I enjoy reading, crafting, and dancing, while he does things like golf, team sports, and mechanical modifications of our cars and bikes. We almost never want to see the same movies, so we alternate choice there. He is an extrovert and I am an introvert, so he gets me to socialize more than I would on my own, and I curb his partying and spending habits. It works for us.

In my opinion, one of the major problems with having drastically different religious and political views comes into play if you decide to have children down the line. Which parent has it right, and which parent doesn't (from the child's point of view) know what I mean?

Perhaps. I do not think I could have married an extremely rigorous Christian, not because I can't respect their views, but that they couldn't respect mine (haven't met a single devout Christian to date that could). If we had children (which I do agree is an important thing to agree on), and my husband wanted to raise them within a religion, I would agree to it. It clearly would mean more to him than me at that point. Like I said, it is about respect more than sharing a mind.

As for politics, I hope to instill enough good sense into any offspring of mine to realize that neither party is completely right or wrong, and that if there was a right answer there wouldn't be politics in the first place.

I'm surprised how many people think you have to have the same political and religious leanings as your partner. I am borderline atheist, my husband is non-practicing Christian. I am extremely liberal, he is moderately conservative. As long as you respect each other you don't have to share a mind.

It seems you and your husband are fialry close, though, on the religious spectrum; though your beliefs differ, neither practices a religion.

With deeply held beliefs that are polar opposite it can make things very difficult, especially when it comes to how to raise children. If your moral and ethical beliefs don't align (which often influence or come from political and religious affiliation) you can have big problems.

For example, I can't see ever dating/marrying a conservative, devout catholic as I'm a (very) liberal atheist. I have huge moral and ethical issues with the catholic church as an institution and I'd never allow children of mine to be indoctrinated into all that. And they'd likely find me a heathen. lol.

I agree with this. I am a moderate Christian (I really can't identify with either political party), and I don't think I could be in a relationship with an Atheist, for similar reasons (well, not so much moral or ethical reasons, anybody of any faith/non faith can be moral or totally immoral) and I have had my child baptized and plan to raise him in a religious household. That's just not something I am willing to compromise on. Political views, I'm a little more open to simply because I am so middle of the road, but I couldn't be compatible with someone who was on either extreme end of the political spectrum. A little right leaning or a little left leaning, I can work with that and agree to disagree, but I can only "agree to disagree" on so much.

I've got plenty of friends of all different faiths, political affiliations, whatever, and I respect every single one of em, but as far as somebody who I'd partner with for my life and have a family with, there are just some things I won't compromise on.