Broke up

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Replies

  • kykykenna
    kykykenna Posts: 656 Member
    The important thing is to realize that your happiness depends on YOU and YOU only. You don't need a man or a woman to make you happy. They are a complement to your happy life. During break ups we tend to feel miserable because we think that our happiness depends on them. False.

    Also, choose to be great despite the circumstances. The other option is to be miserable because of the circumstances. Time to look in the mirror and love yourself!
    Love this advice......and you are getting some some great love from MFP.....So very sorry it happened to you, but you just wait to see what is in store for you!!!:flowerforyou: I am a firm believer that one day we look back and what once seemed like one of the worst possible things, ends up, somehow, being one of the better things. Good luck to you. You will be amazed at what you can do/become!
  • Shrinking_Moody
    Shrinking_Moody Posts: 270 Member
    This could really be a blessing in disguise. Hang in there and trust God. There are too many fish in the sea to settle. You are a strong, independent woman. You will get past this and on to bigger and better things.

    Also - is that him on you ticker? You may want to update that as well!
  • reasnableblonde
    reasnableblonde Posts: 212 Member
    You're getting amazing advice here - and I agree with the others. Take care of yourself and keep your chin up. Heartbreak happens at the worst times, but it makes us stronger. I've had my heart ripped out and stomped on, and I didn't know how I would make it through. But I focused on school and learning as much as I could so that I could graduate, get a great job, and move "up" in my life. The heartache weakened over time, and now I look back on it as a very valuable lesson. It's hard now, but in time, you'll be able to look back and evaluate what you learned. And you'll be stronger and more wise.

    Remember - only YOU can make you happy. Everyone else is just cherries on the sundae. Now you're free to focus on yourself at such a great & super exciting time in your life, and just think - you can take a job wherever you want and no one else has to agree to it! You can get an apartment or house or whatever you like - no one else has to weigh in! And if you want to paint the entire thing pepto bismol pink and cover it with teddy bears, you can! Congrats on graduating this year and good luck!!! <3
  • DetroitDarin
    DetroitDarin Posts: 955 Member
    Dude - creepin' your pics; I see you're holding a big-*kitten* INTERCOOLER, honey.

    That means you're hot.

    Do not chase; but if you chase pursue only wellness and goodness and a guy who loves you as much - or more - than you love him.

    You got this.
  • ChristyRunStarr
    ChristyRunStarr Posts: 1,600 Member
    I'm so sorry you're going through this...I've "been there, done that" so I know how tough it is. It will end up working out for the best. You'll have a tough time now but you will look back later and be glad. You're right in moving out sooner rather than later, it'll help so you can seperate things (feelings/emotion wise) You will get through this and you'll realize just how strong you really are, good luck
  • Lesa_Sass
    Lesa_Sass Posts: 2,213 Member
    Everyone on here is awesome! I really appreciate all the support and encouragement everyone is giving me. It helps me to know that others have been through this. Even though I wouldn't wish this on my worst enemy. Heartbreak is a part of life and I will move on and probably be better for it. If anyone wants to add me...feel free! I need all the friends I can get right now.

    I really do not think there is a more horrible feeling than what you are experiencing. Hang tight and remember, it is okay to cry, scream swear and be mad. Do not let anyone make you feel that you should not do that. You need to mourn this loss before you can move on.
  • hbrittingham
    hbrittingham Posts: 2,518 Member
    I know this isn't fitness related but I needed somewhere to air this out. So my fiance of 4-1/2 years just told me he's unsure if he wants to be with me anymore. Just like that no warning. He swears there isn't anyone else but I don't know what to believe right now. I guess people just change...? Now while I'm finishing up nursing school (I graduate in December) I have to find somewhere new to live and separate all of our finances. Any words of encouragement are much appreciated!

    Did he tell you he wanted to break up, or just that he wasn't sure he wanted to be with you anymore? Do you want to break up with him? Can you all look into some counseling to sort out why he's feeling what he's feeling (if you want to try to work things out)? It sounds like you all have been living together for some time, so you have a lot invested in this relationship.

    This past spring, I told my husband of 20 years that I wasn't sure I wanted to be with him anymore. He asked me to go to marriage counseling and after 2 months, we were able to work out most of the things that had driven us apart. We are closer now than we ever have been.

    There is help out there if you want to try to work things out. I do understand totally if don't want to, though.
  • strikerjb007
    strikerjb007 Posts: 443 Member
    Hang tight and remember, it is okay to cry, scream swear and be mad. Do not let anyone make you feel that you should not do that. You need to mourn this loss before you can move on.

    This is true. Just don't do it in front of him or in front of too many people. Just really really close friends.
  • Lesa_Sass
    Lesa_Sass Posts: 2,213 Member
    Hang tight and remember, it is okay to cry, scream swear and be mad. Do not let anyone make you feel that you should not do that. You need to mourn this loss before you can move on.

    This is true. Just don't do it in front of him or in front of too many people. Just really really close friends.

    Haha, so true. I guess I just took for granted the understanding is that stuff is to be done in private. I remember going through so much pain and feeling like I had to hide it and put on a brave face because people were telling me "oh get over it" Well that crap is really easy to say when you are not going through that pain. One day in my room all by myself I just broke loose and went crazy, man it felt great. That was 18 years ago and still remember it like it was yesterday. So many people told me that I would be fine and some day someone would come along to make me realize why it did not work out with all the rest. Well, they were right but it did not make things easier at the time. Now, looking back, that guy is NO WHERE in life and I am with the most awesome man in the world that treats me like a princess. Would I wish that pain on anyone else? NO WAY! Was it worth it? ABSOLUTELY.
  • lostinureyes17
    lostinureyes17 Posts: 112 Member
    Dude - creepin' your pics; I see you're holding a big-*kitten* INTERCOOLER, honey.

    That means you're hot.

    Do not chase; but if you chase pursue only wellness and goodness and a guy who loves you as much - or more - than you love him.

    You got this.

    Haha thanks but it is probably not as hot since it was his intercooler. But thanks for the kind words!
  • lostinureyes17
    lostinureyes17 Posts: 112 Member
    I know this isn't fitness related but I needed somewhere to air this out. So my fiance of 4-1/2 years just told me he's unsure if he wants to be with me anymore. Just like that no warning. He swears there isn't anyone else but I don't know what to believe right now. I guess people just change...? Now while I'm finishing up nursing school (I graduate in December) I have to find somewhere new to live and separate all of our finances. Any words of encouragement are much appreciated!

    Did he tell you he wanted to break up, or just that he wasn't sure he wanted to be with you anymore? Do you want to break up with him? Can you all look into some counseling to sort out why he's feeling what he's feeling (if you want to try to work things out)? It sounds like you all have been living together for some time, so you have a lot invested in this relationship.

    This past spring, I told my husband of 20 years that I wasn't sure I wanted to be with him anymore. He asked me to go to marriage counseling and after 2 months, we were able to work out most of the things that had driven us apart. We are closer now than we ever have been.

    There is help out there if you want to try to work things out. I do understand totally if don't want to, though.

    I'm glad you and your hubby could work it out. I'm not sure what I want anymore. At this point I feel like he should be more sure about us. He hasn't given me a clear answer on what he wants. I think he wants to go see what else is out there while I wait around and I am not about to do that.
  • lostinureyes17
    lostinureyes17 Posts: 112 Member
    Hang tight and remember, it is okay to cry, scream swear and be mad. Do not let anyone make you feel that you should not do that. You need to mourn this loss before you can move on.

    This is true. Just don't do it in front of him or in front of too many people. Just really really close friends.

    Haha, so true. I guess I just took for granted the understanding is that stuff is to be done in private. I remember going through so much pain and feeling like I had to hide it and put on a brave face because people were telling me "oh get over it" Well that crap is really easy to say when you are not going through that pain. One day in my room all by myself I just broke loose and went crazy, man it felt great. That was 18 years ago and still remember it like it was yesterday. So many people told me that I would be fine and some day someone would come along to make me realize why it did not work out with all the rest. Well, they were right but it did not make things easier at the time. Now, looking back, that guy is NO WHERE in life and I am with the most awesome man in the world that treats me like a princess. Would I wish that pain on anyone else? NO WAY! Was it worth it? ABSOLUTELY.

    Yea made the mistake of crying when he first told me because it was like I was sucker punched. I was not expecting it. But I refuse to cry in front of him now. He had the nerve to tell me not to cry because it was breaking his heart?!
  • hbrittingham
    hbrittingham Posts: 2,518 Member
    I know this isn't fitness related but I needed somewhere to air this out. So my fiance of 4-1/2 years just told me he's unsure if he wants to be with me anymore. Just like that no warning. He swears there isn't anyone else but I don't know what to believe right now. I guess people just change...? Now while I'm finishing up nursing school (I graduate in December) I have to find somewhere new to live and separate all of our finances. Any words of encouragement are much appreciated!

    Did he tell you he wanted to break up, or just that he wasn't sure he wanted to be with you anymore? Do you want to break up with him? Can you all look into some counseling to sort out why he's feeling what he's feeling (if you want to try to work things out)? It sounds like you all have been living together for some time, so you have a lot invested in this relationship.

    This past spring, I told my husband of 20 years that I wasn't sure I wanted to be with him anymore. He asked me to go to marriage counseling and after 2 months, we were able to work out most of the things that had driven us apart. We are closer now than we ever have been.

    There is help out there if you want to try to work things out. I do understand totally if don't want to, though.

    I'm glad you and your hubby could work it out. I'm not sure what I want anymore. At this point I feel like he should be more sure about us. He hasn't given me a clear answer on what he wants. I think he wants to go see what else is out there while I wait around and I am not about to do that.

    And you shouldn't! No way, no how.

    Good luck. I am sorry you are going through this.
  • strikerjb007
    strikerjb007 Posts: 443 Member
    Hang tight and remember, it is okay to cry, scream swear and be mad. Do not let anyone make you feel that you should not do that. You need to mourn this loss before you can move on.

    This is true. Just don't do it in front of him or in front of too many people. Just really really close friends.

    Haha, so true. I guess I just took for granted the understanding is that stuff is to be done in private. I remember going through so much pain and feeling like I had to hide it and put on a brave face because people were telling me "oh get over it" Well that crap is really easy to say when you are not going through that pain. One day in my room all by myself I just broke loose and went crazy, man it felt great. That was 18 years ago and still remember it like it was yesterday. So many people told me that I would be fine and some day someone would come along to make me realize why it did not work out with all the rest. Well, they were right but it did not make things easier at the time. Now, looking back, that guy is NO WHERE in life and I am with the most awesome man in the world that treats me like a princess. Would I wish that pain on anyone else? NO WAY! Was it worth it? ABSOLUTELY.

    Yea made the mistake of crying when he first told me because it was like I was sucker punched. I was not expecting it. But I refuse to cry in front of him now. He had the nerve to tell me not to cry because it was breaking his heart?!

    WTF! Classic dumper line.
  • ohmykai
    ohmykai Posts: 210 Member
    I just wanted to say.... My Heart goes out to you... If you need to talk I am more then willing to listen.... Your a beautiful girl....
  • Lesa_Sass
    Lesa_Sass Posts: 2,213 Member
    Hang tight and remember, it is okay to cry, scream swear and be mad. Do not let anyone make you feel that you should not do that. You need to mourn this loss before you can move on.

    This is true. Just don't do it in front of him or in front of too many people. Just really really close friends.

    Haha, so true. I guess I just took for granted the understanding is that stuff is to be done in private. I remember going through so much pain and feeling like I had to hide it and put on a brave face because people were telling me "oh get over it" Well that crap is really easy to say when you are not going through that pain. One day in my room all by myself I just broke loose and went crazy, man it felt great. That was 18 years ago and still remember it like it was yesterday. So many people told me that I would be fine and some day someone would come along to make me realize why it did not work out with all the rest. Well, they were right but it did not make things easier at the time. Now, looking back, that guy is NO WHERE in life and I am with the most awesome man in the world that treats me like a princess. Would I wish that pain on anyone else? NO WAY! Was it worth it? ABSOLUTELY.

    Yea made the mistake of crying when he first told me because it was like I was sucker punched. I was not expecting it. But I refuse to cry in front of him now. He had the nerve to tell me not to cry because it was breaking his heart?!

    What an azz. Seriously, had you been all, okay, great, thanks, see ya later he would have freaked out. He is telling you not to cry so HE WILL FEEL BETTER. And btw, any man that would tell you not to cry is not a man at all. Trust me dear, when the pain is gone, I have a feeling that you will see him in a whole new light.

    Take care and I highly recommend Jagged Little Pill. Best break up album of all time. I am sending you a cyber hug dear, this just breaks my heart as I know how incredibly bad it feels. It

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