Men's advice please....

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124

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  • _CowgirlUp_
    _CowgirlUp_ Posts: 585 Member
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    i would say reach out to him, a quick hi, how was your weekend and leave it alone. He should have sent a text by now, if he was a gentleman.

    Why should she reach out to him?

    Here are some possible scenarios:

    He is not into her—she shouldn’t reach out
    He is playing games—grown *kitten* men should not play childish games—she shouldn’t reach out
    He is into her, but is kinda shy—who wants an insecure man—she shouldn’t reach out

    Can you come up with another reason why he hasn’t contacted her in a week?



    ^^^This. My sentiments exactly. NO girl should ever have to "reach out" (GAG) to a guy who #1 expressed interest in a date and went out with her...#2. Said he had a nice time and used the "pretty lady" card. #3. He's obviously either too insecure (GAG) or too busy (GAG) to bother with her so listen chicka...move on. I don't even know if I'd go on a second date at this point if he DID contact you soon...maybe he doesn't have anything better to do so he's going through the black book to find someone that thought HE was all that and would actually go out again and maybe this time...put out. GAG.
  • brunette_gurl_66
    brunette_gurl_66 Posts: 48 Member
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    If it's been a week "he's probably not that into you". Do not chase him. Move on.

    this
  • polo571
    polo571 Posts: 708 Member
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    Smart woman here
  • missjennifer1966
    missjennifer1966 Posts: 143 Member
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    Should have put out....................just sayin.

    LOL!!
  • Tiffers44
    Tiffers44 Posts: 6
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    i would say reach out to him, a quick hi, how was your weekend and leave it alone. He should have sent a text by now, if he was a gentleman.

    Why should she reach out to him?

    Here are some possible scenarios:

    He is not into her—she shouldn’t reach out
    He is playing games—grown *kitten* men should not play childish games—she shouldn’t reach out
    He is into her, but is kinda shy—who wants an insecure man—she shouldn’t reach out

    Can you come up with another reason why he hasn’t contacted her in a week?



    ^^^This. My sentiments exactly. NO girl should ever have to "reach out" (GAG) to a guy who #1 expressed interest in a date and went out with her...#2. Said he had a nice time and used the "pretty lady" card. #3. He's obviously either too insecure (GAG) or too busy (GAG) to bother with her so listen chicka...move on. I don't even know if I'd go on a second date at this point if he DID contact you soon...maybe he doesn't have anything better to do so he's going through the black book to find someone that thought HE was all that and would actually go out again and maybe this time...put out. GAG.

    Thanks!! I loved this one too!
  • polo571
    polo571 Posts: 708 Member
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    Keep dating other people and don't focus on one person. He has your number he will call if he wants to pursue.
  • strikerjb007
    strikerjb007 Posts: 443 Member
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    I am a Dating Pro. My First and Last Rule of Dating is:

    "People do what they want to do!"

    If he's not calling, it's because he doesn't want to. If he calls, it's because he wants to.

    So... if he's not calling, it's because he's not interested. I suggest your forget about him and move on right away.

    There are many rules in between the First Rule and the Last Rule. But these are the most important ones to get your head wrapped around. Until you can deal with the emotional reality of these two rules, you will suffer emotional heartache all throughout your dating experience.

    When you do accept these rules as truth, you will have a lot more fun and you'll truly know when someone is interested in you and wants to spend time with you.

    QFT... And no matter how many books, oh wait, even a movie, some women will never wrap their heads around this!!! lol.
  • LordByproduct
    LordByproduct Posts: 117
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    i would say reach out to him, a quick hi, how was your weekend and leave it alone. He should have sent a text by now, if he was a gentleman.

    this is the best move
  • fcp1234
    fcp1234 Posts: 1,098 Member
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    i would say reach out to him, a quick hi, how was your weekend and leave it alone. He should have sent a text by now, if he was a gentleman.

    Why should she reach out to him?

    Here are some possible scenarios:

    He is not into her—she shouldn’t reach out
    He is playing games—grown *kitten* men should not play childish games—she shouldn’t reach out
    He is into her, but is kinda shy—who wants an insecure man—she shouldn’t reach out

    Can you come up with another reason why he hasn’t contacted her in a week?

    if she likes him what is the harm in saying hello, if he doesn't respond then F him. He now could never say "well i never heard from you either" Remember i said he should have texted one way or the other no matter what. Don't get me wrong i see your side of it.

    There is really not big harm, but she seems to really like this guy. I don’t want her to get her hopes up and then get disappointed again.
    A response back don’t necessarily mean that he is into her, he might just being nice, he might just be bored etc etc. So even if he texts back, what did she gain by it? Nothing..
    The real proof of him being interested in her is him asking for a second date. Period.
    I haven’t been single in a long time, but when I was, I had guys ask for a 2nd date at the end of the 1st one, so in my experience, if they want to see you again, they will find a way to let you know.. as simple as that.
  • saxmaniac
    saxmaniac Posts: 1,133 Member
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    Easy. He's not interested in dating you, but open for booty calls.

    No response, or a negative response = no way
    Polite, ambiguous brush-off = booty call, or considering other women
    Overt interest = willing to date you exclusively
  • geebusuk
    geebusuk Posts: 3,348 Member
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    I've known male friends that have REALLY regretted that they "never got around to" contacting a girl they'd been on a date with - then found she'd got angry about it and didn't want to talk to them any more.


    Me in the opposite situation, I think I'd wait until I was planning to do something they might like, then invite them along - if they say "no, but how about..." you're in; if it's a flat out 'no', you know where you are pretty much.

    And yes, not all men 'play the game'. Some are quite shy. Some may procrastinate a bit, especially when the result of a message might be rejection.
  • fieldsy4life
    fieldsy4life Posts: 155
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    You miss all the shots you don't take.

    Shoot him a text (don't call that's awkward and it's 2012). Just ask how the rest of his weekend was. If he doesn't respond - you know what's up.

    I'll be honest and say that if a girl texted me the night-of/morning-after, I would not say "sweet dreams pretty lady" if I didn't think you were a pretty lady! (I'd probably say "come over", but that's a different story)

    Stop thinking too much and try to control your nerves so you don't come across as a crazy person. That's my biggest turn off. You don't have to be a perfect 10, but if you're crazy and my friends might think you're annoying, I'm gonna lose interest. A girl who eats healthy, works out, and is confident no matter what her waist-size is a dime to me. You may not have to feel that way on the inside, but you can act as if :)
  • R_Calvillo
    R_Calvillo Posts: 177 Member
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    i say send him a very short text. short and to the point. like "Want to meet up again?
    " don't follow up after that,

    ^^This.
  • SassyAshleigh
    SassyAshleigh Posts: 78 Member
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    If you are still in the days of wanting to play “The Game”, then play it. If not, then move on, my dear. A week to get back to you is longer than I give a guy. I also hate “the three day rule”. If someone is TRULY interested they will get a hold of you and not play games. I am old-fashioned at 27, and you shouldn’t have put out. No one SHOULD ever put out, it is a personal choice. Also, he should call or text if he is the last communication was from you. A real man and true gentleman would make an effort and court you, not just say false statements and things he does not mean.
  • bulbadoof
    bulbadoof Posts: 1,058 Member
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    He is into her, but is kinda shy—who wants an insecure man—she shouldn’t reach out
    Because introversion is exclusively a self-esteem problem and confident people have no reason to be reserved about anything ever? :huh:

    I'd say, if you like him, text him. My philosophy towards the dating scene has always been that people can't answer yes to the questions you don't ask. Not trying because you're afraid of rejection is basically rejecting yourself.
  • carriempls
    carriempls Posts: 326 Member
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    It's been a week.

    For those of you that are actually helpful. Thank you.

    After a week, then yeah, he's not into you. Sorry. Move along to the next.

    At least you got some good dating practice in, since it's been so long. You won't be as nervous next time!
  • 1ConcreteGirl
    1ConcreteGirl Posts: 3,677 Member
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    I am a Dating Pro. My First and Last Rule of Dating is:

    "People do what they want to do!"

    If he's not calling, it's because he doesn't want to. If he calls, it's because he wants to.

    So... if he's not calling, it's because he's not interested. I suggest your forget about him and move on right away.

    There are many rules in between the First Rule and the Last Rule. But these are the most important ones to get your head wrapped around. Until you can deal with the emotional reality of these two rules, you will suffer emotional heartache all throughout your dating experience.

    When you do accept these rules as truth, you will have a lot more fun and you'll truly know when someone is interested in you and wants to spend time with you.

    QFT... And no matter how many books, oh wait, even a movie, some women will never wrap their heads around this!!! lol.

    So glad someone said this; it saved me the trouble. I could have written every word. Completely agree: if someone is interested in you in a realistic way, they will let you know.

    One thing to add: You'll be a lot happier dating (and in life, I think) if you feel your position toward people is not one of waiting to find out whether you are acceptable to them. If the important opinion is what YOU think of them, you are in a position of control that will minimize your social anxiety and increase your confidence in all arenas.
  • eatcleanNtraindirty
    eatcleanNtraindirty Posts: 444 Member
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    I'd give him a call! Don't send text after text after text!
  • peachhunting
    peachhunting Posts: 59 Member
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    If I've gone out with a girl, and I see something there, there is no way I am waiting a week to drop her line. There are lots more just like him.
  • brooke432
    brooke432 Posts: 17
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    I hate playing games, so my first instinct is to be honest. If you’re interested in this guy, see potential, or would like a second date because you didn’t get enough information to know after the first, then take the risk and ask him out or at the very least, call. But do so being fully aware that he might not be interested in you or only interested in a type of relationship you may or may not want (booty call). If you’re not comfortable with this, then maybe that’s an indication you’re not that interested in him. In which case, you might be on the same page as the guy.

    Now, I’m aware that for some guys, having a girl ask them out is a turnoff. Again, another risk you have to decide if you’re willing to take. Hopefully, you got enough of a read on the guy to let you know where he stands on this. If it would be a turnoff for him, then you’re back where you started and it’s up to him next move.

    Regardless of what you decide, don’t “wait” for anything. Take action or move on. If he does reach out at a later time, decide if you're still interested when that time comes.

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