GRRR Gym No-No's!

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GorillaEsq
GorillaEsq Posts: 2,198 Member
in Chit-Chat
After my evening at the gym tonight, I feel compelled to vent. Gym-time, is workout-time. The following are things that really annoy Gorilla:

Sitting on equipment I need, talking on your cell phone.
No. No. No. Nooooo. Here's how your next conversation is going to go...

Bob: Hey Bill, it's Bob. Got your message. I'm at the gym working out.
Bill: Hey buddy, great to hear from you. You're at the gym right now?
Bob: Yeah, I think I'll sit on this weight-bench and continue to be completely oblivious to my own d*uche-baggedness.
Bill: Awesome. How's the wife?
Bob: She's great...Hold on Bill, some giant meathead guy is saying he's about to shove my phone up my @ss.
Bill: Really?
Bob: Yeah. He just did. Hurts like b!tch. Good thing my Bluetooth headset still picks up.
Bill: So the wife is good?
Bob: Yeah. You know women... She's out shoppin'... Again... hahaha...

Taking up gym space whilst texting... Bad.
Hey, Miley Cyrus, no one gives a flying-*kitten* that you just totally have to tell Buffy about your super-awesome-fabulous new pink skirt. STFU, get off your phone and f**king move. K? LOLZ! WINKY-FACE! ;0

Looky-Lookerson with a chronic case of Stare-idus.
WTF? Did my b@lls suddenly pop-out and smile at you? Are you trying to eye-f**k my my b!tchin' tanktop? WHAT ARE YOU STARING AT? Here, meet Bob. Ask to borrow his phone. He'll call Bill back later.

Ok. I feel better.

Happy Tuesday.
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Replies

  • MelissaE27
    MelissaE27 Posts: 682 Member
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    Lmao .. I love love love your posts they always make me giggle... and you know why they are staring????? well hello look at you darlin :):love:
  • scapez
    scapez Posts: 2,018 Member
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    Funny people that make complete sense = win.
  • pudadough
    pudadough Posts: 1,271 Member
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    Walking around the locker room naked for an inordinate amount of time. I understand the locker room is for changing, so a renegade boob or a random butt cheek doesn't irk me. Just be expedient about it. Panties and a bra or a towel are all I'm asking here.

    Standing around naked just chatting or leaning over the counter (agh, me eyes!) doing your makeup in the buff is just not necessary. I don't even do that at home!

    Also, people who come up and want to start chatting with me. While I clearly have headphones in. WTF?!? Even taking them out dramatically doesn't seem to deter them...
  • JessigirlJb
    JessigirlJb Posts: 656
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    That just made my night!! Rofl!! I heart you!!!
  • GorillaEsq
    GorillaEsq Posts: 2,198 Member
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    Duuuude... why are old men in the locker room oblivious to the fact that their *kitten* is dragging the floor behind them?? Roll that *kitten* up and tuck it in your foopah man! I just ate!
  • hollyNhollywood
    hollyNhollywood Posts: 426 Member
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    Duuuude... why are old men in the locker room oblivious to the fact that their *kitten* is dragging the floor behind them?? Roll that *kitten* up and tuck it in your foopah man! I just ate!

    What's this rumor I hear about them using the hand dryers for these floor draggers?
  • GorillaEsq
    GorillaEsq Posts: 2,198 Member
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    They just throw them over their shoulder, and use the hand drier. It's faster.
  • DawnVanSlim
    DawnVanSlim Posts: 10,471
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    After my evening at the gym tonight, I feel compelled to vent. Gym-time, is workout-time. The following are things that really annoy Gorilla:

    Sitting on equipment I need, talking on your cell phone.
    No. No. No. Nooooo. Here's how your next conversation is going to go...

    Bob: Hey Bill, it's Bob. Got your message. I'm at the gym working out.
    Bill: Hey buddy, great to hear from you. You're at the gym right now?
    Bob: Yeah, I think I'll sit on this weight-bench and continue to be completely oblivious to my own d*uche-baggedness.
    Bill: Awesome. How's the wife?
    Bob: She's great...Hold on Bill, some giant meathead guy is saying he's about to shove my phone up my @ss.
    Bill: Really?
    Bob: Yeah. He just did. Hurts like b!tch. Good thing my Bluetooth headset still picks up.
    Bill: So the wife is good?
    Bob: Yeah. You know women... She's out shoppin'... Again... hahaha...

    Taking up gym space whilst texting... Bad.
    Hey, Miley Cyrus, no one gives a flying-*kitten* that you just totally have to tell Buffy about your super-awesome-fabulous new pink skirt. STFU, get off your phone and f**king move. K? LOLZ! WINKY-FACE! ;0

    Looky-Lookerson with a chronic case of Stare-idus.
    WTF? Did my b@lls suddenly pop-out and smile at you? Are you trying to eye-f**k my my b!tchin' tanktop? WHAT ARE YOU STARING AT? Here, meet Bob. Ask to borrow his phone. He'll call Bill back later.

    Ok. I feel better.

    Happy Tuesday.

    I could get into some stories about my gym, pure entertainment at times. This could have been FTW had Bill and Bob really been Neal and Bob :wink:
  • cmayoung
    cmayoung Posts: 38 Member
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    Walking around the locker room naked for an inordinate amount of time. I understand the locker room is for changing, so a renegade boob or a random butt cheek doesn't irk me. Just be expedient about it. Panties and a bra or a towel are all I'm asking here.

    Standing around naked just chatting or leaning over the counter (agh, me eyes!) doing your makeup in the buff is just not necessary. I don't even do that at home!

    Also, people who come up and want to start chatting with me. While I clearly have headphones in. WTF?!? Even taking them out dramatically doesn't seem to deter them...

    AMEN!!
  • beckyboop712
    beckyboop712 Posts: 383 Member
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    I used to work at a gym and that irritated me and I wasn't even in the weight room. And also, I only heard stories about the men's locker room and it creeped me out!! Ick!

    My other issue when I worked there was when I was on the closing shift. I realize your workouts are important but please be courteous to the people who work there and LEAVE at closing time...not get off the machine at closing time and take a shower. The longer you stay after closing time, the longer employees have to stay away from families and in my case homework.
  • jerbear67
    jerbear67 Posts: 247 Member
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    These are all the reason's that I have quite going to the gym! My workout video routine and getting out running/walking/biking has worked out great!
  • UncleMac
    UncleMac Posts: 12,971 Member
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    I always enjoy GorillaEsq posts! :laugh:
  • NorthWestWildWind
    NorthWestWildWind Posts: 18
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    Lmao .. I love love love your posts they always make me giggle... and you know why they are staring????? well hello look at you darlin :):love:

    I'm with Melissa, you're funny and nice to look at. LOLZ, winky face and all that jazz! :p And I think Bill goes to my gym....
  • heidimaggott78
    heidimaggott78 Posts: 203
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    Walking around the locker room naked for an inordinate amount of time. I understand the locker room is for changing, so a renegade boob or a random butt cheek doesn't irk me. Just be expedient about it. Panties and a bra or a towel are all I'm asking here.

    Standing around naked just chatting or leaning over the counter (agh, me eyes!) doing your makeup in the buff is just not necessary. I don't even do that at home!

    Also, people who come up and want to start chatting with me. While I clearly have headphones in. WTF?!? Even taking them out dramatically doesn't seem to deter them...

    ^this^

    And lifting one leg onto the bench in the locker room to apply moisturiser BEFORE putting panties on :sick:
  • GeekyGoddess
    GeekyGoddess Posts: 119
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    There is a lady at my gym who recently b!tched me out for sweating all over the machine I was on. She told me to go home and she was going to complain about me. Hey, when I'm done, I wipe the machines down. Isn't the gym for sweating? Why is this a complaint worthy issue?
  • Molly_Maguire
    Molly_Maguire Posts: 1,103 Member
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    Leaving your SWEATY MAN JUICES all over the equipment without the courtesy of wiping it off when your done. I mean, I love a good sweat-sharing sesh with a guy as much as the next frisky girl, but NO! Time and place for everything!
  • jonward85
    jonward85 Posts: 534 Member
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    OMG i loved these
  • bigknight78
    bigknight78 Posts: 57
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    It is called a Squat rack for a reason, not a curl rack.
  • Thinsposa
    Thinsposa Posts: 40 Member
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    You're awesome! Will come come to my gym and take the b*tches down?
  • tawny75
    tawny75 Posts: 10 Member
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    Can I add one?

    If you are strong enough to lift the weights on to a machine then you are strong enough to lift them off afterwards. I cannot lift 50kg of weight off so that I can put my 20kg on!

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