So...My mom died.

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Replies

  • jamers3111
    jamers3111 Posts: 495 Member
    You got this! Your mom would be so proud that you had this realization. You deserve it so much! 7lbs/month is very reasonable! I am a very encouraging MFP buddy so if you need more friends like that feel free to add me :)
  • Cyncham
    Cyncham Posts: 39
    I feel your pain. My Mama just passed away on June 3rd from a 2 year battle with Melanoma. She never laid out in the sun and always took care of her skin. It is a very scary thing when you are faced with' if it can happen to my Mom, then the chances are so much greater for it happening to myself'. During the day to day shuffle of taking her to the many doctors & chemotherapy appts, I gained weight (30 lbs) from just being on the go all the time & dealing with the stress of the whole situation. My sister is the complete opposit during stress-her body basically rejects food during stress while I swear, my body hoards it.

    Being that it's been 3 months since her passing, I am just starting this journey of trying to lose weight. There's still so much emotion involved but I do feel better the few days that I have exercised. It's more than about the weight though, it's about just getting healthier because no one knows what is laying dorment in their body and can show up at any time. Then we can all just hope that our bodies are strong enough to fight it.

    Good luck & please feel free to add me. I'm at 216 lbs now and I am 5'6". So, I have a ways to go but we will just take it one day, & one lb, at a time together.
  • swat1948
    swat1948 Posts: 302 Member
    So sorry about your Mom...but congrats on getting up the gumption to do something about your weight. If you need some support, feel free to add me. I am just a tad smaller than you right now. :happy:
  • Reinventing_Me
    Reinventing_Me Posts: 1,053 Member
    My condolences on the loss of your mom. I applaud you for taking the steps to get healthy. :flowerforyou:
  • perpetuallyfit
    perpetuallyfit Posts: 153 Member
    I am so sorry to hear about your Mom. But I really admire you for picking yourself up and for wanting to get your life back on track!!You can do it!!:flowerforyou:
  • NeverGivesUp
    NeverGivesUp Posts: 960 Member
    with the support here you can do it!! It is not easy but this is the only thing that has ever worked for me. I log in every single day and get inspired by all my friends and how hard they are working. It is not only about fitness either. It is about a journey and what triggers us and how we react to pain and emotions. You will do it here like so many others. Quitting is not an option, you saw where it got your mom. Being aware is the first step, doing something about it is the next. Feel free to add me, I am extremely supportive and dedicated!!
  • HappilyLifts
    HappilyLifts Posts: 429 Member
    Sad to hear about your mom, but glad to hear you're here to make changes, and you will!
    I won't go into all the details because they are there under my profile, but I started to get serious about improving my health when my dad got two cancers diagnosed. It took me a good year after his diagnosis to get my act together. In that first year I struggled to look after myself, but eventually something clicked, I guess I got my head around it, stopped feeling sorry for myself, my mum and my dad and decided to start making changes. I stumble along the way, but I'm still here, make a commitment to always fight back and you'll get where you want to be.
    If you need more MFP friends send me a request. We're at similar weights and we CAN get into one-derland if we stay focused and look after ourselves as much as we look after those around us. :flowerforyou:
  • renehallen
    renehallen Posts: 49 Member
    So sorry to hear about your mom. My husband's cousin just died a few days ago, also from complications of obesity. He was 66. So what you're saying about the weight creeping up and you keep putting it off really struck home with me. I just started this week and I am determined to stick with it. So far I've noticed lots of support on this site! I'm sure you will too. Good for you for picking yourself up and making some changes to better your health. I'm pulling for you to look fabulous for your daughter's wedding!
  • AlichiaMJohnson73
    AlichiaMJohnson73 Posts: 186 Member
    :flowerforyou:
    I'm sorry for the loss of your MOM. If you need moral support, I'm a friend request away. This story in honesty motivates me to continue on my journey. We all have choices to make in life when we are adults to have healthy lives. The one thing I :heart: about MFP...is the accountabilty...logging in everyday helps you feel accountable. The moral support of the MFP family here is beautiful. Your faith in God; can and will get you through any and all trials and hardships. If you'd like to add me, please feel free! :wink:
  • secretlobster
    secretlobster Posts: 3,566 Member
    What a horrible tragedy to experience... That is immensely sad. I am so truly sorry for your loss.

    I'm not sorry that it has opened your eyes to the reality of obesity and instilled in you a desire to become a healthier person. Your story and your determination make it pretty clear to me that you will be very successful at taking the weight off and keeping it off. Best of luck... No it's not easy, but you're right that it's reasonable, and you CAN!!!
  • dbell8371
    dbell8371 Posts: 1
    Wake up calls come in different foms. I am so sorry yours was the tragic loss of your mother. You can do this! Do it for yourself and your children. God bless you in this new way of living.
  • ChanyL
    ChanyL Posts: 41
    Sorry about your mom's passing. I lost mine last November and I know how difficult it is. I wish you the best, and kuddos on wanting to take care of yourself. We only live once (apparently!) . :-)
  • mightyafrodyte
    mightyafrodyte Posts: 148 Member
    Wow way to go. We all have to start somewhere. I'm sending a friend request your way.
  • graceinbreath
    graceinbreath Posts: 49 Member
    My father died when he was 54 and I was 21. He was a morbildy obese smoker and he ate whatever he wanted all the time with no attention to healthy choices or portion control. His death was unnecessary and avoidable. 15 years later (he died Sept 18, 1997) that is the part that makes my grief so difficult. He could have made different choices and perhaps if he had he would be alive today.

    My mother is morbildy obese too. Fortunately, she is still with us - but i see how she struggles every day with the result of years of letting your body and your life slip away from you. giving the control to food.

    I have been dieting on and off since i was 17. I hit an all time high this May at 173 when I graduated with my Masters.

    I started MFP in June and I have dropped 16 pounds. It can be done. It's about making changes that will last a lifetime.

    I sent you a friend request and invitations to join two groups that I run. I look forward to being MFP pals.
    You can do this!!!!
  • cneisen1961
    cneisen1961 Posts: 5 Member
    My Mother is gone now too and I too had a hard time adjusting. I went off the deep end and turned to alcohol to numb my pain. That led to weight gain and absolutely no nutritional value of anything I put in my body. I am now almost 2 yrs sober and have finally made a commitment to myself....nobody else......to become a healthier me. I think your weight loss goal of 7lbs per month is do-able but I also am discovering that at 51 yrs of age, it goes off sloooooooooooooooow!! I really started being serious about getting healthy around July 7th of this year and with the help of my friends, MFP and excersize I am down 14 lbs. It seems like soooo little but it really shows. I am looking better, feeling better and also building a better sense of self. I will send you a friend request because that can also be a key to success on here. Good Luck!:wink:
  • tbruegg
    tbruegg Posts: 283 Member
    Everyone ahead of me has said much of what I would say to you. I lost my Mom 2 years ago nothing to do with weight but, no matter the point is that you are suffering such a loss I am so sorry for you. Your goal is totally reasonable.....
  • CarmenSRT
    CarmenSRT Posts: 843 Member
    Please accept my condolences on the loss of your mother. It's a wonderful tribute to her that you chose to use that loss for good.

    The bum knee problem can be a bit of an obstacle. My own left knee has no medial cartilage left at all. My solution as I wait for surgery (unicompartmental replacement) is to wear a unloader brace and to do all my exercise on a recumbent exercise bike. You may wish to consider one for yourself. Non weight bearing, you can do things like watch TV or listen to music or read while doing it as the time (and calories) fly away.

    If you'd like, send me a friend request. I'm only 5 years younger than you, dealing with weight loss with a bum knee and also very close to your weight at present (204). Also fit the category (as another poster phrased it) of being a "woman of a certain age". Mother Nature has waved her magic wand of Perpetual Summer Heatwaves over me already. :wink:
  • nosie
    nosie Posts: 10 Member
    Im so sorry about your mom,I wish you the best
  • wow29
    wow29 Posts: 283 Member
    AS I read, my thoughts were it is hard loosing a parent my sympathy and prayers for your loss, and how courageous of you to post and move forward wishing you nothing but the best. Thank you:flowerforyou:
  • fat2fit4good
    fat2fit4good Posts: 154
    so sorry. I can tell you one thing, you have found the BEST place for support and accountability. Setbacks may come, but you HAVE to come back here everyday and be honest in your entries, always. Cheating here is like cheating at solitaire... pointless! (yes, I have been tempted to "forget" to add that late night snack... ;-)

    good luck on your journey. In a few weeks you will look at a fatty burger in a VERY different way

    I sincerely wish you the best of luck.
  • senyosmom
    senyosmom Posts: 613 Member
    Welcome!!! Good luck on your weight loss journey!
  • butlerangelia
    butlerangelia Posts: 10 Member
    i too am very sorry about your mom's passing. am very glad you see this as a wake up call though. use this terrible event as motivation. i didn't know her, but as a mom i know i hate seeing my daughter living in ways i know are unhealthy. she is not overweight, but she is a smoker (at 22) and i, like you work in the healthcare field and see daily people that have medical problems that are for the most part-preventable. this site really helps me keep track of my calories/carbs etc. i tried to do the same thinking, i don't really need to right it down, i can follow it on my own. nope, doesn't work that way. i try to enter foods in before i actually eat them and if they are too high, i reevaluate the decision and maybe make a different choice. don't restrict yourself from everything, just make better choices. again, use your mother as motivation. i'm sure she's proud watching you from above and anything that can give you motivation and willpower is a positive. keep it up!! you have many tools to reach your goal out there, and many of them are right here on this site. learn how to use them all to your advantage. good luck!
  • jaehilgers
    jaehilgers Posts: 1
    Wow! What am amazing story you have. Thank you so much for sharing. I'm impressed and inspired that you are ready to fight the fight.
    I lost my mom suddenly when she was 69. She was my very best friend. I really let myself go after she passed. I still miss her terribly every day and it has been 2 years now. But I realized that not taking care of myself was not going to change the fact that she was gone.
    Now my goal is to just be the best I can be for my Lord, my family, and me :)
    YOU CAN DO THIS!!! It is a daily battle but the results are soooooooooo worth it!
  • paul1batler
    paul1batler Posts: 10 Member
    So sorry to here about your mom , im sure you meet your goals bet you look fab girl when your daughters wedding comes , go for it girl and good look ,

    best regards

    Paul from England
  • MommaT07
    MommaT07 Posts: 2 Member
    I am sorry to hear of your loss. I walk in your footsteps--I lost my mom three years ago so I understand that pain--I have been plus size all my life. I continuously had struggle with the weight. When I loss my mom I decided I needed to make a change. I started with Weight Watchers which did help me but became expensive. Was 330 now 267 and still trying to go down. I have committed to exercising 5 days a week with a minimum of 1 hour. "i control what goes in my mind and my mouth my body is my temple." I say this prayer every morning and before I put anything in my mouth. Let's keep each other encouraged. You can add me if you like.:smile:
  • quiltingducky
    quiltingducky Posts: 103 Member
    Welcome! I'm fairly new here and a friend turned me onto this site. It was 5 years this past February when my dad died and my downhill slide began. My turning point was getting the courage to step on a scale and then being horrified at the number. I can honestly say that after 30 days today being here, it's been one of the best decisions of my life!

    I find that if I log everything and I mean everything and stop lying to myself that I can achieve my goals. I have 100+ to lose but after meeting my new friends and reading all the success stories and seeing the pics, I believe for the first time in a long time that I can do this. You may have to give up some foods or limit them, but everything in moderation is my key. Stick close to the calorie goal and don't go too far below too many times and you'll do great. I don't exercise a ton, but I do get on my stationary bike (which is so much easier on my knees) from time to time and after doing that I find that I want to get moving a little more.

    Another key is that if you have a setback, for example overeating at a meal, don't give up. Start again with the next meal you eat. If you log what you are eating and measuring/weighing, you'll do much better than if you don't log your food.

    Good luck with your journey. Send a friend request if you like :)
  • pageantgal99
    pageantgal99 Posts: 1
    WOW. I am reading this thinking, " that is me". I am 31 yrs old and just lost my mom this past year at the age of 59.
    She was very sick and had several several health issues. My mom was never a skinny person, nor was she over weight. I always thought she was kinda "average". But the last time she was admitted to the hospital, the doctors told me she was not receiving enough nutrition. I thought "thats crazy, I live with this woman and make sure she eats every day and every meal" but what I didn't relize was her picky eating habits had caused her to not get the proper amounts of what she needed to stay healthy or at least healthier.
    I am trying to learn from this, not only walking and being more active but trying to eat better, more healthy and more variety.
    I am sorry for your loss and wish you the best with your goals. God bless :)
  • doin_it
    doin_it Posts: 414 Member
    So sorry for your loss. I am glad you found this place and are taking the steps towards a happier, healthier you. This is a great day with a lot of wonderful inspiring people.
  • VelociMama
    VelociMama Posts: 3,119 Member
    I am so sorry for your loss, but having something as terrible as the loss of someone you love from a preventable condition or disease is often enough to jolt you back into reality.
    Many others made comments that kids are so used to everything being 'super-sized' that they would, of course, feel like they were starving. It was then, that I realized my main issue. My 'normal' meals have become so far off the norm that my body doesn't recognize what a normal portion size is!

    This is EXACTLY how I was. I started at 218 with a BMI of 33.1, well into obesity. Before I got pregnant, I was down to 176. 42 lbs of excess weight gone. I felt amazing. After the baby comes, I'll get right back on track.

    You CAN do this. Just remember to eat well, but not too much, and work your butt off. Think of your mom as inspiration every single day, especially on days when you don't feel like doing anything.
  • debjae
    debjae Posts: 242
    You can add me as a friend. I am sorry for your loss.

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