Be called fat and can't stop crying :'(

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124

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  • Caligirl_92
    Caligirl_92 Posts: 53 Member
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    I swear some people I just want to punch. You are absolutely beautiful don't let them get you down I know its hard but just keep focus. While I was at work, mind you i already lost 25 pounds and was only 5 pounds from "normal" bmi so i was thinking i was looking damn good lol, then this guy comes to ask me for help to find his daughter some clothes. I of course was trying to be helpful he then says to me " She's about your height," looks me up and down, " but a whole lot thinner." I had to use all my strength not to break down and cry and tell him to go F himself. If I didn't already have body image issues that made sure of it. I feel off the wagon for about two weeks then I decided you know what Imma work my butt of get to my goal weight and wipe it in everyone whose ever said something bad about my weight's face. I still have trouble some people still say mean things to me while others say they want my figure or they can believe im so thin so on and so on. I think it all matters how you view yourself because there will always be people who love to point out the negative.
  • nicholettebell
    nicholettebell Posts: 414
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    you have any idea how many women here would kill to be 112 lbs? you are not fat..you are gorgeous and you have an amazing smile.Dont let anyone get to you.Be healthy because you wanna feel great not to please others.Those who really care for you would love you regardless of your size and those are the people whose opinion should matter to you not some trainer.

    Um... yeah. I outweigh you by 30 pounds and I don't call myself fat. You really need to like yourself and be nice to yourself.
  • emnk5308
    emnk5308 Posts: 736
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    I'd tell the manager or something.. that is awful. Making people feel bad about themselves/ cry to get business.. Don't let that *kitten* get to you. You are at the perfect weight right now! =) Just continue to focus on being HEALTHY! You are far from fat!!
  • lamoursuffit
    lamoursuffit Posts: 267 Member
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    I think sometimes with low self esteem, people can say something that isn't meant to be offensive, and most people would just be like "They probably didn't mean it that way." and then we blow it out of proportion. It happens to me sometimes still, and certainly did a lot when my self esteem was lower. It's not that you're making it up, or anything like that, it's just that we hear what we feel reflects our own feelings of ourselves. Try to take a step back and think, did they really say what I heard, or could they maybe not have meant it that way?
  • oliv2065
    oliv2065 Posts: 204 Member
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    I just want to start by saying you are a beautiful girl. There are always going to be people who are critical for various reason. You just have to understand that people who are like that are not happy people. You are 112lbs which is no where close to fat. If you are truely unhappy with your stomache then work on it, but don't do it because of what someone else said.
  • meerkat70
    meerkat70 Posts: 4,616 Member
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    I'm a little confused by your starting point in this thread. In a previous thread you suggested your goal weight was 100lb. In this thread, you recognise that only anorexia got you to 103 lb. At 5 3 and 112lb, you are in the lower end of the health BMI range, and likely have a very low body fat %. What is it that you're hoping to achieve?

    Are you quite, quite sure people aren't having a joke with you? In the 'oh yeah, right, you're sooooo fat' kind of way that tends to be reserved for thin people who are excessively concerned about their bodyweight... ?
  • firstsip
    firstsip Posts: 8,399 Member
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    I'm sorry you had such a bad experience. I hope you share this w/ the gym manager & trainer.. I encourage you to visit a cognitive behavioral counselor AND to subscibe to Ms. Magaizne to get over the eating disorder, because you're not fat. Trust yourself :) You know you best and you're worth knowin.

    Honestly, there's so much media pressure on women, it's a load o' bull****. Ladies, stand up and fight the back. We're supposed to have 18 - 25% body fat, minimum. Gay men are most of our fashion designers and sadly, too many of them want to put women's clothes on a flat chested, no hipped figure aka a twink. Sad, but true! lol. yeah, sounds outregeous, but but it's true!.

    I'm so TIRED of women dealing with the constant pressure of what we "should" be. It's crazy train. Sis, it's easy to be at a healthy weight, it's hard, sometimes, to deal with all the a-holes who tell you what to do. Guess what? Our critics don't define us. So be bold, and go elsewhere! Peace.

    Wtf is this comment? You urge someone to pick up a magazine, erroneously make wild claims/borderline offensive, and have no research to back it up. The whole "fashion models" as a standard of beauty is a ridiculous sentiment that continues--fashion models are HANGERS. No fashion model is meant to be beautiful or a standard of beauty--they are meant to present clothes. Not to "fulfill gay men's attractions to twinks." What the flying ****,
  • zyxst
    zyxst Posts: 9,135 Member
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    I would just insult them back, but I'm a b*tch.
  • meerkat70
    meerkat70 Posts: 4,616 Member
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    I'm sorry you had such a bad experience. I hope you share this w/ the gym manager & trainer.. I encourage you to visit a cognitive behavioral counselor AND to subscibe to Ms. Magaizne to get over the eating disorder, because you're not fat. Trust yourself :) You know you best and you're worth knowin.

    Honestly, there's so much media pressure on women, it's a load o' bull****. Ladies, stand up and fight the back. We're supposed to have 18 - 25% body fat, minimum. Gay men are most of our fashion designers and sadly, too many of them want to put women's clothes on a flat chested, no hipped figure aka a twink. Sad, but true! lol. yeah, sounds outregeous, but but it's true!.

    I'm so TIRED of women dealing with the constant pressure of what we "should" be. It's crazy train. Sis, it's easy to be at a healthy weight, it's hard, sometimes, to deal with all the a-holes who tell you what to do. Guess what? Our critics don't define us. So be bold, and go elsewhere! Peace.

    Wtf is this comment? You urge someone to pick up a magazine, erroneously make wild claims/borderline offensive, and have no research to back it up. The whole "fashion models" as a standard of beauty is a ridiculous sentiment that continues--fashion models are HANGERS. No fashion model is meant to be beautiful or a standard of beauty--they are meant to present clothes. Not to "fulfill gay men's attractions to twinks." What the flying ****,


    I think you've misread the post in question.

    (Perhaps based on not recognising what 'Ms Magazine' is... ? )
  • firstsip
    firstsip Posts: 8,399 Member
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    I'm sorry you had such a bad experience. I hope you share this w/ the gym manager & trainer.. I encourage you to visit a cognitive behavioral counselor AND to subscibe to Ms. Magaizne to get over the eating disorder, because you're not fat. Trust yourself :) You know you best and you're worth knowin.

    Honestly, there's so much media pressure on women, it's a load o' bull****. Ladies, stand up and fight the back. We're supposed to have 18 - 25% body fat, minimum. Gay men are most of our fashion designers and sadly, too many of them want to put women's clothes on a flat chested, no hipped figure aka a twink. Sad, but true! lol. yeah, sounds outregeous, but but it's true!.

    I'm so TIRED of women dealing with the constant pressure of what we "should" be. It's crazy train. Sis, it's easy to be at a healthy weight, it's hard, sometimes, to deal with all the a-holes who tell you what to do. Guess what? Our critics don't define us. So be bold, and go elsewhere! Peace.

    Wtf is this comment? You urge someone to pick up a magazine, erroneously make wild claims/borderline offensive, and have no research to back it up. The whole "fashion models" as a standard of beauty is a ridiculous sentiment that continues--fashion models are HANGERS. No fashion model is meant to be beautiful or a standard of beauty--they are meant to present clothes. Not to "fulfill gay men's attractions to twinks." What the flying ****,


    I think you've misread the post in question.

    (Perhaps based on not recognising what 'Ms Magazine' is... ? )

    I know what Ms. Magazine is...? Think you misread my comment ;]
  • RMLMoore
    RMLMoore Posts: 130 Member
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    A little about myself: i've had eating disorder since i was 13 ( i'm 20 now), started with anorexia, got down to 105lbs, then soon i turned bulimic and while trying to recover i just binged and got up to 130lbs at 5'3. I was so depressed and called fat all the time so i locked myself in my room which just made me want to eat more and not burn any calories to lose weight. Then one day i decided to change, i started to eat healthy, learn to love my body and enjoy going to the gym again. I'm now 112lbs but people wouldn't stop calling me fat... I'm at the gym today, working my butts off on the treadmill and this trainer came up to talk to me, then he told me my stomach is still so fat... :( Suddenly i felt so hard to keep myself up, i ran to the toilet and cried myself silly, being angry at him but more angry at myself that i would never be perfect or accepted.... Even though people do notice my weight loss and compliment, there are still many of them are so insensitive and always try to say things to bring me down... I know I shouldn't give in to their opinions but it's on my mind all the time and i can'y help feeling so insecure, miserable and worthless right now. It's like i'm either fat or i have to have an eating disorder to be thin. Its like a lose lose situation. I just can't win :(
    Sorry this is such a long post..But i was just trying to let it all out...Hope that i can receive some good advice from some of you who has a better perspective to this at the moment because i feel so stuck in a rut... i really need your help! Thank you so much for caring to read :)

    I am sorry if I sound harsh but I seriously struggle to believe that multiple people are persisting in calling a 5'3" 112lb girl fat. That generally doesn't happen often, even to fat people. I think perhaps you need to speak to someone about self-esteem issues. Good luck
    This is true, maybe not so in the states but believe me, this happens very often where i live (in asia where most people just comment on other's appearance so liberately without any considerations)... It was wayyy worse when i got back from australia and weighed 130lbs... i was so afraid to visit my relatives and friends because of the thoughts of them talking about my weight gain... :( I have always had low self-esteem one way or another and being a perfectionist on top of that is a recipe for my eating disorder. I tried to get help and talked to my parents but they never seem to care much maybe they just think it's not that serious. Sometimes I feel so scared this would consume my life but at the same time i don't want to get out of it because it's the coping mechanism i've been using for so long...

    I agree with you that this is a much more common occurrence in Asian cultures where it is not considered as inappropriate as it is in North America. You need to have a few very firm comebacks to arm yourself as it can happen anywhere and friends and family can be the most harsh. Take some time to jot down what you would like to say when that happens and practice it so you are not caught out feeling vulnerable. Remember that you are doing what is right and healthy for you and by standing up for yourself, you are not giving them power over you or how you feel about yourself.

    You go girl!
  • KeithChanning
    KeithChanning Posts: 214 Member
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    ...Its like a lose lose situation. I just can't win :(

    You CAN win. You ARE winning. People who imply otherwise have either an agenda or a problem.

    You and you alone know what your goals are and how you are doing in relation to those goals. Listen to people who offer constructive comments in a helpful way, and question the motives of any that make negative, unhelpful comments.

    Stay strong.
  • cinderella29292
    cinderella29292 Posts: 33 Member
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    Listen sweetheart, the trainer that said that to you today first of all was an *kitten*, second of all was probably only trying to get you to doubt yourself so you'd be interested in a private workout session with him/her. I'd love to be at your size 112 that would be my ideal weight. I want you to remember something life is going to be filled with nasty people who will most definitely knock you on your *kitten*. DO NOT LET THOSE PEOPLE DEFINE YOU. You had a good cry, now wipe your eyes and move forward.

    What she ^^^ said. You can never get away from people who are nasty for whatever reason; they'll always find something to have a dig at. What you have control of is how you let them affect you. It's natural to be upset, but also remember that ultimately what other people say has no bearing whatsoever on you. Plus fatness is subjective - I guess I'm fat compared to, say, a training athlete at the gym. But then I'm probably thinner than many people who have yet to start on this journey. At 5"3 and 112 lbs, you're definitely not fat. Maybe you don't have much lean muscle yet, but you won't have much fat on you either. I smell a douchey trainer looking for a client with what could be described as the worst sales pitch ever.
    Eating disorder and yoyo dieting have totally screwed up my metabolism in many ways. Last time i checked my body fat was 25-26% (by the BIA scale) so maybe i have a litte more fat on me compared to those stick thin women in yoga class at the gym but at least i'm trying to work out and be healthy and for him to call me this is very discouraging but since it doesn't kill me i guess it's just gonna make me stronger :bigsmile:
  • vcreinert
    vcreinert Posts: 83
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    Consider the source. Get over it and move on.
  • RedHeadDevotchka
    RedHeadDevotchka Posts: 1,394 Member
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    I wish people knew what they said and how it affected us :(
    Sorry to hear that. Keep at it, and prove all those people wrong!
  • Khymera
    Khymera Posts: 67
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    I agree with the poster who said you should talk to the gym manager. My trainer doesn't call me fat and I AM fat. He's there to encourage me, not to bring me down.

    At 5'3" and 112 pounds, you are NOT fat. Keep up with your workouts and your tummy will shrink in time.
  • xoMeaghan
    xoMeaghan Posts: 175
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    Did they flat out say "you're fat" or were you twisting words? I can't imagine someone calling anyone fat between 105 - 130 pounds. Especially now that you're working out and being a better you. I would maybe seek help and talk to someone about self-esteem problems. Go to a motivational session or a "love your body" kinda thing. Not sure any specific places that hold that but 112 is not fat for anyone, even someone who has some belly flab.
  • texjenn
    texjenn Posts: 146 Member
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    Wow! Unbelievable that a trainer would say that to you! Don't listen to him!!! Keep doing what you are doing. You are doing good.
    No one should tell anyone else they are fat! NO ONE! For those of us that were fat, we have that in our head enough already. He probably thought he was doing you a favor and that you have always been thin. But it's just like asking a woman when she is due -- just don't do it!
  • Tropical_Turtle
    Tropical_Turtle Posts: 2,236 Member
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    Find the manager of the gym - tell him/her what the trainer said to you -a gym is a business and no one in that business wants to lose customers. Demand an apology and stand up for yourself. So not let these idiots talk to you like this, It is unprofessional at the least. If you do not get an apology demand your money back and find another gym. Go to the media if you have to to get your money back. Fight for your self - you are so worth it no matter what your size or shape. This trainer is just a bully and this behavior does not have to be tolerated. This makes me MAD and you should get MAD about this not CRY.

    What she said. I know if a trainer said that to me, I would be in the gym managers grill so fast, the trainer would be begging me for forgiveness. Be mad - it is ok to be angry at that *kitten* (and that is exactly what they were to you).

    Congratulations though on all you have managed to work your way through. Just remember, opinions are like *kitten* holes, everyone has one, even those not wanted. Do not let others define who you are, be yourself and be PROUD!
  • cheekyhalf
    cheekyhalf Posts: 18 Member
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    At 112lb there is NO WAY you are fat!!! But remember the ultimate comeback..."I may be fat now ((you're so not)), but you'll always be dumb & insensitive!!!"

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