Be called fat and can't stop crying :'(

Listen, I used to have eating disorders... I wouldn't eat for weeks, then I'd go into a cycle of binging and purging. I hated how I was overweight and swore I'd take care of it. I felt lonely and out of control. Realize I don't live like that anymore. That is LONG in the past now.

I can't tell you exactly how to get past it. People are pieces of art, I think. They take more finesse to fix than cars that come with instruction books for mechanics. Weight, and our perception of it has a million different facets that could be out of line. Any of them can throw you into a tail spin, and I don't know you well enough to tell you what you need to do to get out of the cycle.

One thing I CAN say, is that I, like you, hit a point where I said "I can't do this unhealthy dieting anymore. I have to give it up and find more healthful ways to deal with the weight/stress." I applaud you for that. Don't turn back. YOU CAN DO THIS.

That isn't to say that since that time I have always had a healthy weight. As a matter of fact, now I'm 42 and just back in the healthy weight range for the first time since having my third child almost four years ago. I always dropped the weight after my other kids--though I had to be patient and wait until I quit nursing (which I decided I would do for their first two years no matter what my weight because it is what was best for my kids).

This time, after finishing nursing my third child, however, I had factors working against me I had never had before. Mainly too many responsibilities on my plate. I have had to make some pretty drastic changes to make my lifestyle handleable (including moving half way across the country to get more help with the kids--considering my husband is overseas most of the year). But that not withstanding... I have always gotten back to a healthy weight.

NOW... one big thing to look at... something I am currently looking at... is determining what a healthy weight is. Of course there are a bunch of weight charts out there, but I like the ACE (American Council of Exercise) body fat percentage recommendations. (ACE, by the way, does personal trainer certification and looks to have a good reputation.) Most people recommend 18-25% body fat. Well, that is a huge range. And to be honest, I am around 24% and I don't like the way I look. I want to go leaner--and I also want to run races and be happy with my times. ACE has a chart here: http://www.acefitness.org/blog/112/what-are-the-guidelines-for-percentage-of-body-fat with guidelines for people with different goals. If you are regularly attending the gym, and want to have that very fit physique... try to go for the athlete percentages. Women athletes are recommended to have between 14-20% body fat. I've seen pictures of people with 14% and--my own taste is "eeew! " But... to each their own & beauty is in the eye of the beholder, I guess. Actresses look like they typically have 16-18%... (probably mostly 18%).

So, in determining if you're fat, since you belong to a gym, why don't you have someone there test your body fat percentage? Stay reasonable. Like I said... most guides say 18-25%, but if you like being quite fit, you may be able to go on the low end of that. It doesn't seem to me like 112 is much weight, but I have no idea what your body composition is. But, get the body fat percentage checked, then see if you are in a good range. DON'T drop below 14%! It is unhealthy!!!! Once you get the test done, decide if there is any work to do. It could be that you have a little work to do, or--more likely--you have to realize that you are not an airbrushed angel and that reality is much more divergent from Hollywood pics and magazines than most people are willing to admit. If you are in a good range... then I will tell you, acting confident will make those pounds disappear. Trust me, it works. (I had to do the same with a bad haircut before.... :-P Just act like you're happy, and people will be drawn to you for your charisma... not seeking whatever they can find to justify in their minds why you are anxious or uncomfortable in your own skin.

So, in a nutshell, go by the science, and tell anyone who gives you ___ to go to ___. :-) And KNOW that you are beautiful with a smile, no matter what they say.

Good luck!
TurtleJogger

Listen sweetheart, the trainer that said that to you today first of all was an *kitten*, second of all was probably only trying to get you to doubt yourself so you'd be interested in a private workout session with him/her. I'd love to be at your size 112 that would be my ideal weight. I want you to remember something life is going to be filled with nasty people who will most definitely knock you on your *kitten*. DO NOT LET THOSE PEOPLE DEFINE YOU. You had a good cry, now wipe your eyes and move forward.

Thank you so much Jordan that was so sweet of you :flowerforyou: I think you are right he'd probably just want me to feel insecure and then provide me with a solution that he "thinks" he has :grumble: I'm not gonna fall for that. I know i'm stronger now and the truth is no matter how good i am, i can't please everyone so rather please myself first then :ohwell: Still, it's so good to know there are people like you out there that actually have a beautiful

You're so welcome and I'm thrilled to see those words; please myself first. In life we always have choices and choosing to not be a people pleasure and putting ourselves first is actually a tough choose for us friendly people out there.