Hi, im Sue and I am Super Obese - i am scared of dieting.

Hi Sue,

It is good that you are making a start on this. Why are you frightened of using the Orlistat? I just had a quick look on google and there is plenty of information on there about it. Do you trust your doctor......... Or is it just starting to use and all the positive things it may help bring about that worries you?

It doesn't have to be about dieting, it can be about changing your lifestyle!

You can do it! x

If you trust your doctor I would take the orlistat. I was always like you. Being obese kept people away from me. But at the age of 44 I had a major wake-up call when I had a heart attack and had to have open heart surgery. I also have asthma, sleep apnea, and diabetes type 2. Please don't be scared of all of this. This site really helps you understand what you eat and why you eat it. Everyone here is so supportive. Please feel free to add me. I lost my weight in a year.

I know I have always looked upon my body fat as a security blanket that keeps people away from me and also I feel it protects me from others because if I project a mean exterior people will tend to avoid me, and I suppose that has been given me some strange sense of comfort and power. I just never realised that my sub conscious would try to protect me by hijacking my diet and lets face it, I need to lose this weight,

Sue - firstly: CONGRATS on finally making the decision to see your problem for what it is, choose to change, and seek the help and support to do so. I know that seems like a simple thing, but it's really not, it's probably half the battle in my experience so you're already taking huge leaps forward. Good on you and stick with it.

So much of what you said rings very true for me too, and I have a sneaking suspicion that there are a lot of us overweight / obese people out there who've used the weight as a sort of forcefield to keep people away. I've always said that "the irony of weight is that the bigger you get, the more invisible you become". I also have noticed an alarmingly common connection between a history of trauma / abuse and weight gain. Something to think about, perhaps.

I'm not going to profess to be some guru - I too, have just started my journey and have probably a similar amount to lose as you. So far I've lost 6 kilos, without even really trying that hard, so I'm starting to realise that it can be done. The way I see it is this: it took several years of consistent, dedicated over-eating and NOT exercising to put this weight on, so it's going to take a few years of consistent, dedicated mindful eating and exercising to take it off. It's not a sprint, it's a marathon. And if you're anything like me, the fastest way to sabotage yourself is demanding perfection, eg. "Well I've already had two biscuits so today is a write-off, I might as well have a pie" etc. At first, at least, it doesn't matter if you have the occasional slip; if today is 20% better than yesterday, you're improving. Tomorrow might be 20% better again, until eventually the right food choices will come naturally and the exercise will be second nature. Even now, a month in, I'm finding myself more comfortable in my new routine so I don't have to fight to motivate myself as much.

As far as the mental / emotional side of this goes, you're right - you'll probably need help. Having said that, the feelings you've described and the physical reactions you've had I can so relate to: it's those feelings that made me realise that this time was different. It wasn't me trying another diet out of shame or guilt or pressure from other people. It was like a switch had flipped in my head. I realised that I value my life and I value my body so I wanted to make a real change and treat myself right. It wasn't a diet, it was a new way of living and it was no longer negotiable.

I hope some of what I've said helps, Sue. Please feel free to add me. I'm finding the support of MFP invaluable and I think you will too - it's important to know you're not the only one who's struggling, or learning new and weird things about yourself. A book I read years ago actually helped me put it all into perspective a bit, and it's actually pretty funny, so I've added a link in case you're looking for some encouragement. I definitely think you should follow up with your doctor, too... and the therapy sounds like a great idea (I'm getting some and it's making a world of difference).

Lastly: GOOD LUCK!

http://www.amazon.co.uk/Girls-Guide-Losing-Weight-Getting/dp/1863255168/ref=sr_1_9?ie=UTF8&qid=1349078922&sr=8-9

Hi Sue
I too have type 2 diabetes and take medication for this as well as colesterol lowering tablets and blood pressure tablets as they go hand in hand. When i first started to lose weight i ballooned to 90kg (am only 154cms tall) due to hormone imbalance and has taken 12mths to get down to 72kgs. I had come to the cross roads of loss of motivation but i have a grandbaby now and that was a real wake up call to give it another go to reach my all time goal.
Your doctor is there to help and support you as is your care planning nurse for your diabetes, take all help and advice on board as they do care and will help you make a difference.
We are all here too so if times seem tough reach out and chat and we will be there to listen and support you in your journey.
This is my first day as a member of this site and i already feel that there are a lot of people out there all with similar stories so chin up and just do your best,
and Remember Arnie Schwarternager words from his movie
YOU CAN DO IT
Di

Hi Sue!

Hypnotherapy worked wonders for me on more than one occasion.

Feel free to add me if you need support!

Ana

Start today, with or without meds it does not matter! One day at a time........
I think most over-eaters have a whole bunch of emotional reasons for it and I would recommend counselling to help deal with theses as it was not until I did this did I have the head success that I have now.
In the mean time one day at a time............ you can do this!!

I was 49 and had a BMI of 49.
Now 51 and have a BMI of 37.
If I can do it anyone can!!

Hi Sue.... All of the reply's are true.... this you can do... little by little, bit by bit. No quick fixes ... no dropping 10 kilos in a couple of days..... just like a baby learning to walk make this life style change.... go from sitting still to crawling, then walking, then jogging and eventually you will be running... figuratively speaking. The more weight you loose the more confident you will become and your security blanket of fat will no longer be required. Add me if you wish.
Good luck with your journey

...I woke up feeling ok, but the moment I looked at the Orlistat on the shelf ready for me to take, I started to feel Nausea and Dizzy and had to dash to the bathroom. I was not sick at all and after a while the symptoms have started to recede. I know I have always looked upon my body fat as a security blanket that keeps people away from me and also I feel it protects me from others...

Hi, Sue. It sounds like you had a panic attack. Have you seen a doctor/therapist about an assessment for anxiety? Anxiety/panic could be the biggest obstacle to your progress. This kind of stress is very harmful to your health over time - and may be just as harmful as obesity. Please see if you can get some help for that. Once you get your anxiety under control you should find everything in life becomes easier. Good luck! :flowerforyou:

Hi Sue welcome to the begining of your new life. Its all new and it must be scary but it sounds like you are on the right path. Please keep to the advice to what your doctor is doing, no matter how long your weight loss takes, you need to do it. Your right too many of us who are overweight/obese use our weight as a comfort and we dont realise the damage we are doing to us. If you wish to add me please feel free, if not good luck on your journey:bigsmile:

Just wanted to stop by and wish you luck. I'm also 44yrs old and it's taken me until now to finally start losing the weight.( I also have a special needs kid and the weight loss so far has made it a lot easier to keep up with him)

Keep using this site, log in every day - even if you have a bad day. Add friends- this really helps! Before you know it you will be a couple of stone down, with a great support network and wondering what you was scared off...

You can do it :flowerforyou:

Hi Sue, Im still pretty much new at this. I understand the weight keeping people away from you. I used to be that way, then I met my husband and he didnt care about my weight and he somehow got past the wall I had put up. Weve been married 5yrs and now I want to lose the weight before I get health problems. I dont want to have to deal with the medication and want to feel good about myself.

Set a small goal for yourself and make some friends here. I have some wonderful supportive friends. Try not to think about losing the weight since that scares you, think about getting healthy for yourself and your kids. Think about feeling better and healthier, so you can do more with your kids. And then wont have to worry about medications and other health problems.

I still dont know what all is really healthy, but I am learning to eat better and workout. If you like to dance thats a great workout. Your a mom and I know you love your kids they need you healthy not sick. Look at them and think about how much they need you. You can add me if you'd like to, I will do my best to be supportive, sometimes I still dont always know what to say. But if you wanna even talk about your fears I would be here for you. It is really a one day at a time prosses, we fall and get back up. If you dont feel motivation look at your kids. I wish you the best and I know you can do this.

You don't go on a diet, you have to make a lifestyle change. It will not happen overnight either. You didn't gain the weinght in just a few months, you won't lose it any faster either.

You have to be consistent and diligent in making changes.

Good luck to you.

Hi Sue,

Congratulations on facing up to your situation honestly and for taking the first steps towards change.

While I don't have your health issues we're not so far apart in other ways. And like others have said, I certainly don't have all the answers even though I've been doing this for a while now. What I do know, however, is that it can succeed at this. It may not be quick or easy, but it can happen.

it kind of makes sense that you're scared about trying the Orlistat. It might well represent a successful way to lose weight and therefore it's a threat to your comfort zone and the shield you've wrapped around yourself. Let's face it, for those of us who are super obese, and frankly a lot of people who aren't, the biggest challenge is our own thoughts, conscious and subconscious.

In the same theme, I wonder who you view the term 'diet'. For me it's always had negative connotations, so I stopped thinking of this as a diet. It's merely a change. I'm not depriving myself, I'm making better choices because I want to be healthier. I'm not cutting everything 'bad' out, because I want to be able to sustain this change for the rest of my life, but I also know that I'm going to be a work in progress probably for the rest of my life. I'm good with this.

Something else that can help is to set yourself small goals, maybe even really tiny ones, and I don't even mean weight loss goals, just anything that you can add up as successes, because the more you get, the stronger your confidence in yourself becomes. At the same time, you can't beat yourself up over perceived failures. Only giving up is failing, everything else is just a sign that you need a bit more work.

Anyway, I apparently can ramble this morning. If you'd like me as a friend, you're more than welcome to send a request. I'm not perfect, but I'm here and I do my best to support my friends.

R

Hello Sue,

I started my 'journey' about 11 weeks ago weighing 295 pounds.
I have tried dieting numerous times, but never made it past the first couple of weeks. I was also offered tablets by my Dr.

Of course I wanted to be slim, but I didn't want it enough to actually do anything about it.
I knew who I was;
The fat girl. I was unthreatening. I had my role in life.
Changing that was a really big hurdle.
Something I couldn’t manage.
Until now.

For some reason; this time it clicked.

I'd never heard of MFP before, but it works for me.
It’s easy - I can eat what I want as long as I log it. I’m not a massive fan of fruit and veggies or healthy eating. I can’t really cook; and am so sooooo fussy. But I am getting better.
My only rule is that I pre-log everything.
This means I am making informed choices; I can instantly see how a little ‘treat’ will affect my day. Sometimes I still have that treat; other times I eat less, or something different for less calories.

This is really working for me; 30lbs down and feeling like I can actually lose the weight.

I really hope this works for you too - explore the site/app and make some friends,

I'm happy for any friend requests; really like the ‘community’ here, and I’m always lurking around and I’m a nosey cow so love reading peoples diaries!

Amy
x

Hi Sue, I am Annie. I recently joined MFP mainly because I am Morbidly Obese. My Mum is too and she was diagnosed with Diabetes last year. She did not look after herself through diet and ended up in hospital earlier this year with Pneumonia and a bad Diabetes trip (not sure of the right names for this) but now she is insulin dependent whereas she would have been able to control it by diet alone. I did not want to get this and so here I am.

I wanted to say firstly that I think you are incredibly brave to write this post, it seemed a very honest and genuine post and I can tell that you are terrified, but there really is no need to be. You have had the shock and health scare that brought you here and you are using that to better yourself. I really believe that you can do this! You obviously want it enough. I wont really give you any advice because others have pretty much said it better than I could have anyways, but I just wanted to wish you all the luck in the World for your new journey. Let's do this together xxx