Hi, im Sue and I am Super Obese - i am scared of dieting.
Replies
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I started here in February with a BMI of of 41.8....I now have a BMI of 36.4 as of my last weigh in. My body fat started out at 47-49% ( not sure which) and is now about 42%
You say that the fat is your armor and it keeps people from getting too close to you...wouldn't MUSCLE be a better armor? I never thought that really defined muscles were sexy on a woman, and I still don't want to be competition level, but I have found that I LIKE the muscles that have cropped up in the 9 months I have been in the gym. And I too have a special needs son--he is 16, 2 inches taller than me, 60lbs less than me, but he has occasional violent melt downs that require us to throw him to the floor and restrain him. The last time he melted down and tried to tackle me, it didn't take me long to get the upper hand...and when it was over with, I was PROUD that I am stronger than he is!
My muscle has done something else...I have not been losing weight at the speed that I would like to, but I am losing inches. Just for giggles and grins, I compared my current measurements to those taken before I got pregnant with my youngest son. When I got pregnant I was 175lbs, when I compared measurements I was 205lbs....and my hips and thighs were SMALLER at 205 than they were at 175lbs! And my waist and chest measurements were within 1.5 inches of where I was at 175lbs
By the time I hit 175lbs, I could be a size 8 or 10 ( I started at a loose 18).
Many of my current NSVs revolve around muscle. My kids noticed my arm muscles a few weeks ago, and couldn't believe it. They were totally impressed. Last night my neighbors saw my shoulder/arm muscle, and even the GUY was impressed.
Editing to add: Last fall I had bronchitis and asthma flares for 4 months straight. I have been under a respiratory therapists care for the last year. As of my check up last week, my lung function is 100% and she is impressed that I can now do 35 minutes of hill intervals on the treadmill 4x a week. I am fairly certain that I had sleep apnea, but after losing 30lbs, I no longer snore when I fall asleep in the chair.0 -
just would like to wish you lots of love peace and happiness for the future. I think from what you have said about your weight, thats its an emotional thing. Maybe seek some counciling explore your past learn to love yourself. Stay here this site is fabulous and so are the people make new friends and get on a journey that will save your life, I'll send you a message and we can be buddies is u like, take care sweety c x0
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I have roughly the same BMI as you right now. I weigh 319.4lbs and my BMI is around 52 or so. I was afraid to diet too, but I still allow myself to have one thing I like every day, in a very small portion and as long as it fits into my daily calories. If you really want to lose the weight, then you need to be able to commit to the lifestyle change. I'm happy I've been able to make the change. I joined a challenge group here and lost 8 pounds over the last month. I've already lost a pants size and plan to keep going. I exercise for an hour 5 days a week and burn at least 1000 calories each time. I invested money in a great HRM and a scale that weighs me to the ounce. I measure out food portions and make sure to keep my fat/sugar intake low as well as my calories.
If I can do it, you certainly can! Good luck!0 -
Hi Sue, welcome to MFP. I'm Trish, I see lots of similarities in our situation. The best part is you've already taken the hardest step. Feel free to add me for support. I won't lie, you've got a load of obstacles heading your way, but clearly you also have the determination to overcome them. And a strong support network is vital. Start slowly, just start logging your food. In the next few weeks you'll see yourself starting to unconsciously make better decisions about your food choices. Exercise can be tackled once you feel in control of your diet. It's an exciting time. In 12 months you'll feel like a new person.
I love the fact that even though my BMI is (still) so high, my health is good (it never was before), I am fitter than some skinny people, my cholesterol is lower than my (skinny) husbands, my bloods are under control and I'm reversing my diabetes.
You can do this Sue. I understand your scared, but admitting that means you're already winning!0 -
Well, I think all the posts prior to this show you how supportive this community can be, and that you really aren't alone. Some great advice there
Do not put yourself on a diet, that's all about denial. What you need to do is just be a bit nicer to yourself. Because you deserve it. Because your kids need you to be around. One step at a time, one meal at a time, think a little bit about the food you're going to eat, and maybe start to make some small changes (can you grill stuff instead of frying?), maybe slightly more healthy snack choices? Baby steps, gradual changes. Yes, there will be days where the choices you make may not be as healthy as they could be, but that's okay. Because the next thing you eat can be different. Baby steps.
Wishing you all the luck in the world, everyone here will be on that journey with you. xxxx0 -
Bookmarking to come back to this...
You are an amazing woman...I hope you see that one day
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"Diets" are scary.
Forget Dietting". It is only a label - one of the scariest labels ever invented. [If it were a film it would have a certificate 18 for sure].
You are simply going to record your intake. Myfitnesspal.com makes this really easy. Then you see each day where the calories are able to stealthily sneak up on you.
Basic survival tactic - take no notice of the so-called 'experts' who post their pearls of wisdom (usually along with photos of their navels, but somewhat curiously, never their faces) - or maybe not "no notice" but perhaps "little notice".
When I was diagnosed as having high cholesterol we cut the fat content of my diet - i.e. if it didn't have less fat than a bucket of water then my wife didn't buy it. This was hard, (but I was sneaky!). Then I - and my little pill - got it under control. They put me on Orlistat.
I stopped running to loo (the world dopped out of my bottom) when I stopped buying "crafty" packets of crisps. There must be a hechuva lot of fat on a crisp.
Anyway, my fat intake was so little that I 'failed' and they took me off it for not losing "significant oodles of weight" in 3 months.
Take the Orlistat and modify your diet to accommodate the mean ways it treats you if you dare to eat fats and see how life is still possible.
Bread is so dull without butter, so cut the butter and then you won't want the bread - and the calories will just pour off.
- and possibly the weight.
Orlistat is not a magic bullet - it encourages lifestyle change by ruthlessly punishing deviation for the low fat regime since the fat goes straight through and can cause embarrassing rushes to the loo and flatulence.
THIS is not a reason to not take it. This IS a reason to restrict fat intake whilst taking it.
message me or friend me if you think I can help
Best wishes and good luck
By the way, my BMI is 35 so I am on the same road as you.0 -
Hi Sue my name is Zach.
I have lost 80 lbs. The only thing that I can tell you is you have to be ready to change your life.
There is no temporary diet, and then going back to eating how you did.
You must make the lifestyle change that says you are ready to eat healthy. (Moderation is
what I consider healthy, not "whole foods")
Once you make that decision, track your calories (using this site) and everything becomes 100% easier.
If you don't make that decision, you will always fall back to your old ways.
As far as losing what you have, time and consistency. That is what it takes.
Don't get impatient, just know you are starting a long journey.
Good luck, I hope you achieve your goals.
Hi Sue, I agree with Zach. Its not a diet its a liestyle change. If you think of it as a "diet" you are bound to fail. There are a ton of great resources here and great people. Fell free to send friends request if you feel that will help! Best luck to you :flowerforyou:0 -
Hi its not a diet u need to be on .. u need a lifestyle change .. (makes it easier to take in) ... but if meal choices are a struggle for you there is an option of Herbalife to try it is a healthy but fantastic weightloss aid and if you can find a herbalife distributer in ur area even better because they can weigh you and guide you but if not there is a website you can buy most products from which is www.herbielady.com ... i can advise over MFP if you like .. herbalife is now my best friend add me and message me if this is an option u might consider .. just set small goal to aim for and then once u reach that goal make a new small one
the feeling you get reaching a goal is a brillaint motivator and brings out a competative side to do more once u no u can x 0 -
Sue, Congratulations on joining this site. Let me tell you, finding this site was a great thing for me and it will be a great thing for you. When you have to write down what you eat (and if your honest) it will make you think twice about eating something high in calories, you will start to make better choices when you realized a big plate of broccolli has less calories than 25 Cheez-Its. Start small and when your comfortable than do more. You have a whole support team of "virtual friends" that will help you every step of the way. You can friend me if you like!
Good luck on your journey to a better healthier you!0 -
Hi Sue,
I think you just found all the best people MFP has to offer. Previous posters are right, there can be some "know it alls" on here, and it's their way or the highway. Listen to your body. Establish a good group of friends. And make your decisions one bite at a time. Like a PP mentioned, just because you had 2 biscuits doesn't mean you need to go eat a pie. If you mess up at lunch, you still have time to fix it at dinner.
Good luck to you.0 -
Sometimes the hardest part is starting...knowing where to start. Don't look at dieting as a fad...but a lifestyle change. I would say for now...just track everything you eat..no matter what! Then you can start looking at what you're actually putting in your mouth and the calorie content. Then you can start swapping out unhealthy foods for better foods.
For instance, if you eat bacon...you can say...okay next time, I can get turkey bacon and won't miss the bacon. Start playing around with foods and calories and you will open your eyes to a new lifestyle that is very attainable. Have fun with it!
And also for starters...MFP tell a lot of women to eat 1200 calories. But that's too low for you! I would google "bmr" to figure that out...and don't eat under it. Customize your settings.
Add me as a friend and we can help each other in this journey. Many blessings!0 -
Sue
Firstly well done for starting your journey and I wish you every success. Reading through your replies I see that not many have picked up on you thoughts of using cognative therapy..... It is not for everyone but those that think they need something generally find the therapy useful. Finding the right therapist is always the hardest part and from experience if you don't click with him or her straight away don't be afraid to find someone else. As you build a relationship with the right person they will help You understand how and why you got to this point and what triggers you will need to work through or avoid (initially, avoidance isn't the right thing longterm)
Talking to someone about your thoughts and feeling that has no emotional tie to you is a god thing and will take some of the pressure from yourself so you can work though your negative thoughts and turn them into positive actions working towards small goals.
Also look at Transactional Analysis and pick the best one for you.
Good luck and feel free to add me 0 -
Hi Sue,
Dieting is scaring. I feel the same it is hard to think you won't be able to eat food like you used to and enjoy junk food as much. But you have to think of it as a life style change and not a quick fix. How I think of it is that I am healthy eating and not dieting. It is never to late to lose weight and you have overcome the first step by deciding that you want to lose weight.
The key is to stick to a particular number of calories a day replace junk food with fruit, go wholegrain and move more. You can still enjoy treats once a week but in moderation.
It is hard in the beginning but it gets easier. Good luck with your weight loss.0 -
Hi Sue.
First, congratulations on coming face to face with your demons and deciding to take them down. Super awesome! It's the first step to a journey that is well worth the hard work. There are similarities between your story and mine, though when I started, I was just at the borderline obese spectrum for my frame.
I was diagnosed with type 2 diabetes and went through a period of denial. I didn't change a thing. In the end not only did I end up on diabetes meds, but cholesterol and blood pressure meds as well. It was the triple threat of a life that would be quickly cut short if I didn't come to my senses. To make a long story short (see my profile), with the weight I've lost and my lifestyle changes, I am drug free and all my labs are "fantastic" to use my dr's words.
YOU CAN DO IT TOO. ^_^
Don't call it a diet. It's a lifestyle change. (Zach, summarized very well.) There's already been a ton of great advice given by posters here. For me it was that simple cliche: "Eat less, move more." I was terrible with portions and I was way too sedentary. With a lot of hard work, I overcame those two problems. I re-wired myself. It won't be easy, and you'll feel like giving up sometimes - I sure as hell did. But if you focus on why you're doing it and why it means that much to you, you'll get right back up each time.
Good luck!0 -
Sue,
Your post melts my heart!
This program really is not hard, all you have to do is:
Log in all the food you eat today.
Take a walk if you can. Some days I can exercise, some I can't, due to medical issues. The days I can, I do.
Tomorrow you are going to repeat that process again.
If you eat more calories than you were allowed today, so what? Just try again tomorrow and you'll figure it out. I actually enjoy keeping the food diary, its fun to see how the numbers calculate and learn what things are higher in calories than others.
And I have a sneaking suspicion that as you are successful, your anxiety will decrease. You can get some help for that now to help you cope but I'd bet that gaining control of your life on YOUR terms is going to be amazing.
Bon Voyage!0 -
Hi Sue, I'm Sue also I know what you mean about using your obesness as a crutch so people won't get close to you. I have done the same. I have a ways to go also. I have lost 43 lbs and still have about 60 more to go. I love being a cheer leader and want you to know when you have finally put your feeling down that's the first step. It's all about baby steps. Taking them one day at a time. One day doesn't ruin your tomorrow! I'm sending you a friend request if you're interested. Heads up to our new life style. 0
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Sue, I am so very proud of you! It's no surprise you're scared of this new way of life. Lots of people are afraid of the unknowns. We're afraid to move away from what we've always known and how we've always lived. We all just need to remember WHY we're doing this. We all looking for a better life, and we know that losing weight and learning healthy habits are a big factor in that new, wonderful life.
It takes a lot of courage to open yourself to everyone here and to share your struggles. I hope that you find everyone here to be supportive and sympathetic. I know what it's like to use excess weight as a security blanket, and a way to keep people away. That's something you're really going to have to work through on your own. (I'm in the same boat.) Cognitive therapy will help. I know it did for me. Just keep using the tools you learn in therapy. Once you stop using them, you'll end up in the same bad habits that got you in trouble in the first place. But it CAN be done. YOU CAN DO IT. Also, keep writing here. Use the blog tool. I know that for me, getting the feelings out by writing keeps me from eating them later. Make friends here. Tell them about your struggles and your victories. We're all here to support one another. There's no reason to go it alone. It may be easier for a private person to do this online because you can keep some anonymity. I'm going to send a friend request to you; I hope you'll accept.
Diabetes can be a very scary thing. But it doesn't have to be. You'll learn how to manage it, and I know people who have been diagnosed and had been given medicines to control who now no longer have to take medicine - just because they learned to control their eating habits and have dropped weight. One of them was still over 100 lbs overweight but through regular exercise and a controlled diet was taken off not only diabetes medication, but blood pressure medicine too. I happen to be married to that fella.
Lastly, I wanted to share with you the T.O.P.S. pledge. (T.O.P.S. is a weight loss group, not sure if it's in the UK, but it stands for Taking Off Pounds Sensibly. I've been a member for a little over 3 years and although I've not reached my ultimate goal, I've made great strides.) The pledge goes:
"I am an intelligent person. I will control my emotions and not let my emotions control me. Every time I am tempted to use food to satisfy my frustrated desires, build up my injured ego, or dull my senses, I will remember - even though I overeat in private, my excess poundage is there for all the world to see. I will take off pounds sensibly."
Best of luck to you. And I'm here if you need a listening ear. 0 -
Go all the way! fill out the rest of your profile, why you want to lose weight etc, use your diary, add friends all are on here for support because we all need it!
As far as being scared of a diet, you should be MORE scared of the diabetes.
My late husband refused to eat right when his blood sugar came on and I watched him die a slow death.
It started with his eyes where the sugar caused his vision to go down to the point where he had to have a 52 inch TV to even see it..
His was in pain in his lower body where nerve damage set in causing the blood not to flow to his legs and feet. Eventually, his toes rotted and burst,, His legs went next and they had to amputate them one at a time and he was in a wheel chair.
Lastly, his kidneys shut down and he had to go on a machine to get rid of the toxins in his body.
In the end, it wasn't working anymore (they say they last about 2 years using it) and He died from the major organs just being destroyed by it.
He lost a bunch of weight that got the diabetes in control but it was too late. It had already done its damage. PLEASE! if you care for your family DO THIS! Diabetes will show little things happening and over time that cannot be reversed. What CAN be reversed is the type II diabetes.... just by losing the weight. I wish you all the luck because life is precious.. especially to your family who need you and I know love you very much.
^^THIS!
We buried my mom in June after watching her slowly die over the past 3 yrs from organ failure from Type 2 Diabetes. She also decided too late to listen to the drs. It wasn't until her kidneys failed and she had to go on dialysis that she finally started testing regularly and cutting back on the carbs. By then, her body was so wore out that more and more probs kept piling on. Bladder cancer that spread to her dead kidney resulting in a 5 hr surgery to remove kidney and part of her bladder. Lungs damaged- COPD- many bouts of pneumonia, heart damage resulting in mini strokes and partial paralysis and pacemaker put in, she was almost bald by the time she died, her hair falling out in huge chunks, declining liver function affected her mind and moods. And not to mention what her toenails looked like. Fortunately she didn't lose any of her limbs, but that was sure to come if she had lived longer. It was a horrible final months for her and for her children and grand children who had to watch her go thru it.
If you can't muster up enough motivation for yourself to make the necessary changes in your health, then do it for your family so they don't go thru what we did.
This is what motivates me the most. I won't put my family thru the heartbreak we went thru. Fulfilling my temporary desire for food is NOT worth hurting those who love me most. I can't be that selfish.
You are young enough to make the changes to save your life. Concentrate on getting your sugar levels under control first. TEST your blood before every meal. Up your protein levels while lowering your sugars and simple carbs. You might want to check out the South Beach Diet online. It is designed for diabetics to help them break the sugar addiction and learn to eat more healthy. At least learn exactly what too much sugar does to your body. When you educate yourself on how your body works, you will learn how to be more in control of what you are putting in it.
Like everyone else says- this isn't a DIET, but a change in lifestyle. You won't lose 100 pounds in a month, but you WILL start to feel better as soon as you start treating your body better, and the weight will come off in time. You can do this!0 -
Hi Sue,
I'm also from the South West so feel free to add me as a friend for some 'local' support.
Firstly, WTG! Coming on a site like this and saying what you have is not easy so well done you! That's half the battle!
The first thing I did when I joined MFP was not look at is as a diet...diet for me is a horrible word as to me it means never eat a single fatty thing ever again.
However, healthy lifestyle with controlled calories is a better (if not slightly more of a mouthful) term as it still allows you to be a tad naughty with food, just not everyday!!
Take it a day at a time and don't go cold turkey and start eating just lettuce! Work your way into it and you will do great! I have faith in you completely! You can do this!!!!
Good Luck
Steph0 -
I know this thread is intended to give Sue the motivation and encouragement she needs to get started, but it has been a big help to me as well. I was feeling very defeated and frustrated this morning because the weight isn't coming off like I want it to. Reading thru the comments has reminded me of WHY I am doing this, and that this is going to take time. I just have to keep at it, and even when the scale isn't moving, positive changes are still being made in my body.
Thanks0 -
Hi Sue,
Firstly welcome to MFP and I hope you will find the support and help you need here... I really recognised your story. 6 years ago I was 257lbs and completely in denial about being morbidly obese. Like you I used my weight as a security blanket that I hid my emotions behind.
It sounds like your doctor has helped by giving you a slimming aid but I think that what worked for me was the CBT and TA Counselling I received whilst I followed the Lighterlife Regime. The counselling is the major part of it and taking things slowly, making small changes to your diet and exercise whilst making small changes to your thinking.
I lost 8 stones in a year and have kept the weight off eating 'normally' for the past 5 years. You CAN do this despite your fears. What you had this morning sounds like a panic attack and I do understand. Please please you CAN do this.
Like you my blood pressure was high, I was very immobile and on the verge of diabetes. I now have low bp, and run and exercise regularly and am very healthy for my age.
I will send a friend's request and if you want to add me please do so, I am on here daily and like all 'humans' I have good and bad days but keeping on here helps enormously.
Very very good luck on your journey.
Jules xx0 -
Hi Sue,
My name is Aimee....
I started out at 337 a few years ago...so I do understand... I also understand the hiding behind the weight as a security blanket and protection...I think I did that myself for a long long time....Start journaling.... going to see a therapist could be of some great help... it was for me... but in the meantime, journaling your feelings, the things that cause you to want to eat etc. is a great place to start!
Perhaps your body is reacting to your mind... By that, I mean that it seems mentally you are much closer to being ready for this...but there is still a war within your emotions and thoughts...so perhaps that response of your body was emotional/mental stress induced. Don't let it stop you! You have the reasons, and I am sure even more, that you listed..... to do this... you CAN...so many people here have and are in process of getting there.
Best of luck to you!:bigsmile:
Feel free to add me if you would like!0 -
If you are worried about losing your security blanket (your weight), maybe some counseling would help. Weight loss can be mentally and emotionally challenging as well. Good luck!0
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I brought the over the counter Orlistat - Alli - and never took one pill.
KEY PHRASE - "ANAL LEAKAGE"
Yeah, I know your fear, it is the fear that you are going to eff up, forget you took the Orlistat, eat a delicious piece of fried chicken, and be walking around with disgusting orangey brown streaks of poop and grease in your undies...
THAT is more frightening than being fat.
I suggest, you ask the doctor for a appetite suppressant or try sticking to healthier eating and excercise. You have already taken the first step by joing MFP.
I say, put the Orlistat DOWN! But that's just chunky ol me who is deathly afraid of the possibility of being stuck in public with a serious case of anal leakage...
I was on Phentermine for a while and I loved it. I actually still have some of the prescription left because I didn't finish taking it.
It taught me some good habits and got the ball rolling for me and got me motivated.
You might want to look into that if you are just looking to drop fast weight to get you started. Also consider weight watchers, jenni craig, and nutrisystem as alternatives to Orlistat.0 -
OP, have you told everything in your post to your doctor? It sounds like you need to see a mental health professional. You are correct that you need to lose weight, but the mental issues that you describe also need to be dealt with for your diet to be successful. Wanting to alienate people from you is not healthy for you or your family. You need to adress that issue as well as your weight.0
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hummmm. I had never heard of Orlistat. I looked it up on the internet, and it sounds like a good deal. If this will help you, then I wouldn't hesitate to take it. Weight loss has to be something you really want. If you don't want people around you, there are other ways to keep them away other than hurting yourself healthwise. This website is fantastic to help people. I love it. Just do whatever your doctor says to do, perhaps count your calories, and take the pill.
I eat 1500 calories a day. I eat anything I want, I just don't go over the 1500 calories. That way it doesn't really feel like I am dieting. I have been on this one week and lost 7 pounds in one week. Back in 2009 I started this diet and I lost 107 pounds in 10 months. Like I said, I ate anything I wanted, I just counted the calories and didn't go over my daily limit.
Check out the internet and find out how many calories you should eat a day to lose how ever many pounds you want to lose a week. Keep at it, and it will work.
Good Luck!!0 -
I started the CPAP and it was horrible thing to be sleeping with. I asked the doctor "what could I do to stop from using this machine?" and he said "loose 65 lbs". 3-4 months after use, I began my journey to loose weight.0
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Hi Sue my name is Zach.
I have lost 80 lbs. The only thing that I can tell you is you have to be ready to change your life.
There is no temporary diet, and then going back to eating how you did.
You must make the lifestyle change that says you are ready to eat healthy. (Moderation is
what I consider healthy, not "whole foods")
Once you make that decision, track your calories (using this site) and everything becomes 100% easier.
If you don't make that decision, you will always fall back to your old ways.
As far as losing what you have, time and consistency. That is what it takes.
Don't get impatient, just know you are starting a long journey.
Good luck, I hope you achieve your goals.
THIS0 -
Hi Sue. You have a lot of amazing advice and support already, and I’m sure I’m repeating some of what you’ve already heard. You’ve done the hard part making a decision to change. First of all you don’t need “a diet.” To me “a diet” becomes something you are on—which means something you can go off. What you need is a lifestyle change and a plan. Your plan will change and develop as you make progress towards your lifestyle change goals. I think you’ve also made another important realization—knowing you need the help and support of professionals and other caring people to help you on your way. Remember a “journey begins with a single step.” Sometimes those steps are baby steps and sometimes there are even some steps backwards. There are many of us right here on this journey beside you. Each of us has different goals and different methods or tools to help us along the way. However, whatever the difference in goals, methods, and tools—we all are working towards being healthier. Start with small goals and before you know it you will be achieving them and setting new ones. Believe in yourself. You are worth every ounce of effort you put forth. Hugs to start you on your way.0
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