Vacation drop out...am I wrong?
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As for saying she has it easy becuase she lives at home and has no children is not a fair assessment. Why do some people think because you are single with no kids that you have no other responsibilities. I lived at home until I was 30, not becuase I was fond of the idea but because I didn't have the money to move out on my own. (and I was working two jobs to get by). You never totally know someones situation so do not judge them.
Should she pay.... Yes Can you make her......No I would just pay the difference and never invite her again unless you have her money up front.
I didn't say that all people who live at home have no bills. If you read my other post you would see where I said I know her VERY well and know what responsibilities she has. Please don't think I'm saying if you live at home you have lots of money! I know everyone has different situations0 -
Honestly, she should pay regardless of what her circumstances are. She agreed, it's her responsibility.
However, odds are good she won't, so I wouldn't try to get it out of her because it would be more trouble than it's really worth.0 -
Should she pay? I think she has a moral obligation to pay or repay some how for dropping out so close, but you cannot be forced to pay based on moral principle, next group trip, contract, stipulate cancellation fee if it gets so close.
Though its not the same as lending money my grandfather told me; never, never lend any money $5, $10 or more to anyone that is friend that you wont be able to overlook if they don't pay you back. If they don't pay and you get upset or take them to court it will ruin your friendship. In the end it is just money, more is printed every day.0 -
If she hasn't been paying anything since her deposit amount, I think it was a sure sign that there was a very real chance of her not going with you. If I were you, I would have either got her money for each payment, or got her to admit that she changed her plans when she skipped the first installment. So I feel that it is not really last minute, though you have a reason to feel that it is...
$130 each means she would have to pay $520 in total, plus the $200 deposit. Maybe she really doesn't have the money (especially with a drinking problem).
The decent thing would have been for her to pay you all, but the practical thing would probably be for you to pay and write it off as a bad debt. As to whether you can remain friends, that depends fully on how much that relationship means to you.0 -
I think she should pay, and I'd shun her as a friend. She effed up. That to me shows a lack of respect and maturity especially if she feels she has not done anything wrong.0
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Sounds like you should have been on top of her payments long ago, seeing as she ONLY paid the deposit and nothing more.
Sounds like a sit down conversation is in order, with her-not with strangers on the internet.
Why should I have had to babysit her payments? We booked through a travel agent and everyone was logging in to make their own payments.
And as for the sit down conversation, already tried...got us no where but arguments. I'm just here for opinions because I'm not sure how to feel about this situation.0 -
Sounds like you should have been on top of her payments long ago, seeing as she ONLY paid the deposit and nothing more.
Sounds like a sit down conversation is in order, with her-not with strangers on the internet.
Why should I have had to babysit her payments? We booked through a travel agent and everyone was logging in to make their own payments.
And as for the sit down conversation, already tried...got us no where but arguments. I'm just here for opinions because I'm not sure how to feel about this situation.
Well, you really have few options. You're going to have to grin and bear it or cut her out of your life. She really has no legal obligation to pay unless you all signed a contract, her obligation is moral. Should she pay? Absolutely. But she has no legal basis for payment.0 -
While you don't know how much of a difference it is to her (meaning you don't know her finances), she should be paying you back for it. If she won't, I recommend never booking a vacation like that with her again.0
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She's a single girl with no children and lives with her mom so $130 isn't much to her. But to the rest of us, who all have children and a mortgage, car payment, etc. $130 is alot.
1 - Unless you have exclusive access to her bank accounts/income you have NO IDEA what she may be paying for. It's unfair of you to assume that because she's living at home and with no children that she has money to throw around.
2 - This is a issue that arises with group trips. I would fork over the $130 additional and I wouldn't be seeking another trip with her. Unless she has a very good excuse (IE: I'm in the hospital, my mother is in the hospital etc), then I wouldn't plan another trip with her.
shes right, ^^
Agreed - I hate when people make assumptions about other people's circumstances - plus is it $130 total? Or $130 per person. With 4 of you, at $130 per person, you're tell her to cough over $520? You can't handle an extra $130 for a vacation you are going on and you expect your friend to pay $520 for one she's NOT going on? i do think that's unreasonable. I agree with the other poster who commented that the deposit is what she loses for backing out - and maybe she loses friends - that's up to her. But this is why you should never book travel where your pricing is dependent on someone else's behavior/decisions.
ETA: I saw the OP's update about how she knows this girl REALLY well, and isn't just making assumptions about her funds - but people lie, people pass themselves off as better off financially than they are, every day. She might have been saying she had the money - but it's possible she just doesn't. If this is a friend worth having - then I think you let it go. If it's not, then you aren't going to get anywhere with her anyway, so let her go.0 -
While in a perfect world your friend would still cover her share, it doesn't sound like it's going to happen, so I'd consider myself lucky to only be out $130. This happened to me once and cost me close to an extra $1,000. There's really nothing you can do about at this point except make it a learning experience and determine how to proceed in your relationship with this person in the future. I was upset at first, but let it go…my relationship with the person who did this to me was worth more than the $1,000 I was out. If your relationship can be irreparably damaged over $130, or even $1,000, you probably shouldn't have been planning to vacation with that person in the first place.0
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Sounds like you should have been on top of her payments long ago, seeing as she ONLY paid the deposit and nothing more.
Sounds like a sit down conversation is in order, with her-not with strangers on the internet.
Why should I have had to babysit her payments? We booked through a travel agent and everyone was logging in to make their own payments.
And as for the sit down conversation, already tried...got us no where but arguments. I'm just here for opinions because I'm not sure how to feel about this situation.
You asked for opinions.
Unless you all have a signed contract, she has no obligation to pay anything. The fact that she decided to back out has nothing to do with you. You have two choices, pay the extra or don't go. It's pretty simple.0 -
Just find someone else to take her place, that way everyone wins. I was in this situation but I was the person who had to drop out. I was supposed to go on a ski trip and at the last minute my boss told me I had to go to Vegas that same week for work. My friend tried to tell me I had to pay half because she found someone else, but they couldn't afford it all, so I should pick up the balance. This made me upset because why should I have to pay for someone else to go on my trip? Now I'm not friends with her anymore. The way she acted seemed really selfish to me, and she was completely not understanding to the fact that it was a work trip, and I didn't back out just because I felt like it. If you try and force your friend to pay you will come off as not a good friend. Sure, she put you in an awkward place but don't jump to conclusions.0
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Had this happen to me with my own husband! We were part of a group cruise with friends and 2 weeks before the trip he said he couldn't go because he had to work even though we'd been planning the trip for 9 months. It cost me $500 to cancel his ticket which he never offered to reimburse me. Not to mention all the tickets for excursions & shows I had pre-purchased.
Hubs and I are separated now and he can't for the life of him figure out why!
I like the person that said just find someone to take her place. Wish I'd thought of doing that then! LOL0 -
Call your Travel Agent and see if you can cancel the other room... That means 2 people will be sharing the same bed but it will be cheaper for you guys... sucks that you were put in that situation... but I doubt you will get the money from her.0
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my relationship with the person who did this to me was worth more than the $1,000 I was out. If your relationship can be irreparably damaged over $130, or even $1,000, you probably shouldn't have been planning to vacation with that person in the first place.
A few people have made this sort of comment which I have to say is a really weird way to look at your friendship - "is it worth x amount of dollars?"
Surely it's not whether she messed you about and cost you $130 or messed you about and cost you $13,000....it's about the fact of how she messed you about. Sure, the amount makes a difference to a certain extent, but as soon as it becomes any sort of significant amount then it creates an issue, and it is the fact they have created that issue, the manner in which they did so and the manner in which they respond that surely determines whether you would want to remain friends with them afterwards?
Incidentally you SHOULDN'T have to babysit her payments, you're correct. However SHOULD and SHOULDN'T don't really hold much water in the real world. What matters is DO and DON'T. Honestly you should have spotted a problem earlier, perhaps you could have found someone else?0 -
You asked for opinions.
Unless you all have a signed contract, she has no obligation to pay anything. The fact that she decided to back out has nothing to do with you. You have two choices, pay the extra or don't go. It's pretty simple.
Bingo.0 -
She should forfeit her deposit and it should go towards the trip for all of you. Pay the difference and learn a lesson that in the future, she should never be asked again. I don't think she should pay for a trip she is not taking, but she should lose what she has paid thus far. I think you should have seen this one coming.0
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1) I'm sorry you have this situation hanging over your heads to cloud the enjoyment of your vacation!
2) She is acting more like an acquaintance and less like a friend. A friend wouldn't stick it to you like this
3) Never make your plans contingent on what someone else will or won't do
4) this next part is none of my business, but it really bothered me with my nephew so I'll throw it out there and just prepare myself for the comments to follow; my nephew dropped out of school because 'he couldn't afford books' and instead took the money and used it on a trip to Cancun. He always has excuses for being short of money and can't afford to move out, can't afford to get his own car fixed, can't afford his insurance...and yet he always seems to be able to 'afford' trips for Spring Break. He's in his late 20's now and still never seems to have enough money, but always seems to be going somewhere. So, if $130 is a make or break thing over being able to afford this trip perhaps the destination is too expensive or more time is needed to save money to throw away on vacations.
I love going to Disney World. I haven't gone in 5 years. But 5 years ago we stayed in the concierge section of the Grand Floridian resort. Expensive as heck but so totally worth the wait and the expense that only doing it every 5 years is okay.:bigsmile:0
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