TEENAGERS

deniseearheart
deniseearheart Posts: 919 Member
in Chit-Chat
I am going crazy.. He is almost 15 and everywhere he walks leaves a mess behind him... I have ALWAYS gotten on his case and gave him chores and payed allowance and made him clean up so it is not something new but it is driving me nuts and I am under enough stress... What can I do to make him at least clean up after himself.....
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Replies

  • zechks
    zechks Posts: 224
    I am going crazy.. He is almost 15 and everywhere he walks leaves a mess behind him... I have ALWAYS gotten on his case and gave him chores and payed allowance and made him clean up so it is not something new but it is driving me nuts and I am under enough stress... What can I do to make him at least clean up after himself.....

    Give him a smack on the head when he doesn't clean up his mess.
  • deniseearheart
    deniseearheart Posts: 919 Member
    I am going crazy.. He is almost 15 and everywhere he walks leaves a mess behind him... I have ALWAYS gotten on his case and gave him chores and payed allowance and made him clean up so it is not something new but it is driving me nuts and I am under enough stress... What can I do to make him at least clean up after himself.....

    Give him a smack on the head when he doesn't clean up his mess.




    ya right . even if I was the type to do that he is bigger than me and knows it to.
  • kcoftx
    kcoftx Posts: 765 Member
    Take the game system controllers into your room each night. He cannot earn them back until he has completed chores and homework for the day and you have inspected it.
  • zechks
    zechks Posts: 224
    I am going crazy.. He is almost 15 and everywhere he walks leaves a mess behind him... I have ALWAYS gotten on his case and gave him chores and payed allowance and made him clean up so it is not something new but it is driving me nuts and I am under enough stress... What can I do to make him at least clean up after himself.....

    Give him a smack on the head when he doesn't clean up his mess.




    ya right . even if I was the type to do that he is bigger than me and knows it to.

    Yeah but if you don't show him who's the boss then he won't probably do what you ask him to do. Don't let your child own you. You're the parent, he should obey your rules. It's like "you live under my roof, so you live by my rules or get out."
  • loveanyway
    loveanyway Posts: 13
    OH. MY. GOODNESS. believe me, it's no better with girls... except include makeup smears, glitter, nail polish spills, & massive amounts of laundry to the mess... & trust me, mine has been disciplined- some things never get through their heads! temporarily, maybe but they sloooowly revert back to some things.
    HANG IN THERE. that's all we can do!
  • nicebumwhereyoufrom
    nicebumwhereyoufrom Posts: 35
    My mom was constantly on me for that when I was a teenager. Her nagging made me want to do it less. She'd always go "do you wanna come and clean this up?" "Uh, hell no I don't wanna." Now I realize how out of line I was.

    I don't have any tips other than the ones posted, but I can say that he's being pretty normal.
  • kcoftx
    kcoftx Posts: 765 Member
    Another thing to do is to go in with him, even against his wishes, and do a room overhaul. The reason I say this is sometimes the room gets so cluttered that it becomes overwhelming for kids (and teenagers) to keep up with it. Then after everything has a place, talk about expectations. Then it is up to YOU to inspect it daily. I suggest a daily inspection rather than weekly because I find that if I just do it periodically, it gets worse and worse and we have to go back to the room overhaul. It is much more simple to fix a mess daily because it will be a smaller mess. The only exception is I pretty much don't hassle them on the weekend but come Monday afternoon, that room better be picked back up. We get off track sometimes and have to go back to square one but for the most part a daily inspection and having it go towards earned privileges cuts down on the amount of arguing.
  • MFPBrandy
    MFPBrandy Posts: 564 Member
    Take the game system controllers into your room each night. He cannot earn them back until he has completed chores and homework for the day and you have inspected it.
    I like that idea. Also, When I was a little kid, my mom would give me a few chances to clean my room, then she'd do it for me. That happened ONCE -- because her way involved everything going into garbage bags and me never seeing it again. It worked...but I wasn't a teenage boy, so who knows?
  • josavage
    josavage Posts: 472 Member
    My son responds to losing the internet. He didn't care when we took away the phone or the xbox but the internet - that motivates him. You just need to find what motivates your son.
  • AllonsYtotheTardis
    AllonsYtotheTardis Posts: 16,947 Member
    change the WiFi password daily. New password given out once the day's tasks are complete.
  • tabinmaine
    tabinmaine Posts: 965 Member
    When you realize he could be cutting himself, bulimic, having sex without condoms, attempting suicide and drinking and sneaking out of the house at night..... you will find the mess he leaves everywhere....no big deal !

    Trust me I know... it could be a lot worse :)
  • deniseearheart
    deniseearheart Posts: 919 Member
    change the WiFi password daily. New password given out once the day's tasks are complete.




    like this idea
  • deniseearheart
    deniseearheart Posts: 919 Member
    When you realize he could be cutting himself, bulimic, having sex without condoms, attempting suicide and drinking and sneaking out of the house at night..... you will find the mess he leaves everywhere....no big deal !

    Trust me I know... it could be a lot worse :)




    Oh I am sure it could... but still I am a clean freak and messes stress me out beyond belief...
  • ChanyL
    ChanyL Posts: 41
    Take all the things he leaves behind and put them on his bed, he'll have to clear everything out of it to go sleep ;-)
  • ilikejam33
    ilikejam33 Posts: 252 Member
    Most people will no respond to nagging. At 15 he is old enough to be treated like a young adult. Sit him down and without nagging let hi know what portion of the household chores he is responsible for. Give him a weekly list and give him a timeline for it to be completed.

    For example, by Sunday of each week all floors must be swept and mopped/ vaccummed

    no work= no pay.

    He will figure out if he doesnt pick up his own junk and everyone else off the floor then he cant clean it and earn his $. Also once he has to pick up someone else stuff he is more likely to internalize goe it feels for you to be cleaning after him.
  • Karabobarra
    Karabobarra Posts: 782 Member
    I have the same problem ...I'm thinking about taking away the xbox, computer and tv until he start contributing to more than just the mess.
  • Capt_Apollo
    Capt_Apollo Posts: 9,026 Member
    wifikids615.jpeg
  • Tricialew32
    Tricialew32 Posts: 96 Member
    I have 3 that are 17 18, & 19. All three raised with the same rules and the same consequences and the middle one is neat and clean, the youngest strives for that but never quite gets there (he says he forgets) and the oldest just doesn't care. I can't see his bedroom floor. There are personality issues there but I have used the "you aren't going to eat or go anywhere until you clean your room and bathroom." - just so I can't get them to clean some things. Some boys won't start cleaning up after themselves until they own their own homes and until then, you won't want to visit their apartments.
  • Ginnyesq
    Ginnyesq Posts: 109
    brilliant.jpg

    https://plus.google.com/101174714442258565659/posts/2P4HJ3opTHc#101174714442258565659/posts/2P4HJ3opTHc
  • Phaedra2014
    Phaedra2014 Posts: 1,254 Member
    Yeah but if you don't show him who's the boss then he won't probably do what you ask him to do. Don't let your child own you. You're the parent, he should obey your rules. It's like "you live under my roof, so you live by my rules or get out."

    That's the perfect recipe to alienate a teenager from his/her parents. Authoritarian parenting serves no purpose other than increase resentment in the kid and make him/her want to act out more.
  • Boingo1
    Boingo1 Posts: 205 Member
    When you realize he could be cutting himself, bulimic, having sex without condoms, attempting suicide and drinking and sneaking out of the house at night..... you will find the mess he leaves everywhere....no big deal !

    Trust me I know... it could be a lot worse :)

    True dat!!!
  • Ginnyesq
    Ginnyesq Posts: 109
    LOL, sorry, someone was faster than me.
  • 3foldchord
    3foldchord Posts: 2,918 Member
    BOYS- we have to remind them to pick up everything and change their clothes and flush the tilet- daily- until they leave the house, get married, and heir wife takes over....LOL


    My 3 boys are 16, 17, 19- and they are carbon copies of The Absent Minded Professor.

    the most impprovement is when I have them do Push Ups when they forget to put things away.
  • zyxst
    zyxst Posts: 9,149 Member
    but still I am a clean freak and messes stress me out beyond belief...

    He's not cleaning because 1. you nag him and 2. it bothers the hell out of you to be around messes. Teenage rebellion. From my experience, nothing makes a person NOT want to do something than getting nagged over it.
  • djc315
    djc315 Posts: 585 Member
    change the WiFi password daily. New password given out once the day's tasks are complete.

    I saw this on pinterest and was going to suggest it too. I think it is a great idea.
  • ilikejam33
    ilikejam33 Posts: 252 Member
    Some boys won't start cleaning up after themselves until they own their own homes and until then, you won't want to visit their apartments.

    sigh...and some will never....lol my sisiters husband....
  • marsellient
    marsellient Posts: 591 Member
    When you realize he could be cutting himself, bulimic, having sex without condoms, attempting suicide and drinking and sneaking out of the house at night..... you will find the mess he leaves everywhere....no big deal !

    Trust me I know... it could be a lot worse :)




    Oh I am sure it could... but still I am a clean freak and messes stress me out beyond belief...

    It can always be worse, but you might try this: stay calm and say"When you've cleaned up X then we'll have dinner... or the Internet will be open" (or whatever you decide).... ala Barbara Coloroso.

    Gotta love teenagers....hormonally impaired beings that they are. Good luck!!
  • UsedToBeHusky
    UsedToBeHusky Posts: 15,228 Member
    Ha! When you figure it out, let me know!
  • fuhrmeister
    fuhrmeister Posts: 1,796 Member
    I am in your boat. My 19 year old has the smelliest room ever and I know I taught him better. My best advice. take a step back and pick your battles. Mine in laundry and common space in the house. I let the clutter in the room go. I also give him a chance to talk when we argue about the chores. Even if what I say goes, he at least said his peace. Best of luck to you.
  • tmbowen12
    tmbowen12 Posts: 175 Member
    My son responds to losing the internet. He didn't care when we took away the phone or the xbox but the internet - that motivates him. You just need to find what motivates your son.

    This and cell phones are what motivate my 3 teenagers. Oh and the car keys on my girls' LOL> I have 3 of them that I am dealing with!!! 13 (boy), 15 and 17 (girls') All my kids have chores to do. They do their own laundry, clean their rooms, and take out trash and clean up the kitchen after dinner.

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