Teenagers..... give me strength
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Questfor250
Posts: 155
Yes I have an 18 year old teenage girl who KNOWS everything. Dad knows nothing. Does doesn't know that 3500 excess calories eaten will equal a pound gained. Dad doesn't know that eating 2300 calories at 10:20 at night will NOT affect her weight. Dad doesn't know that it is healthier to only eat 4 cups of ice cream and 1 cup of peanut butter with apple slices is healthier than eating the original 8 cups of ice cream she was going to eat. Dad doesn't know that the eating habits she has now will absolutely guarantee she will get the freshman 20 in her first year of college. Dad doesn't know that her individual unwillingness to work out will doom her with being overweight once she gets older. Dad knows nothing.
Oh I can't wait until August 3. I will gladly drive her to college then. Give me strength.
Oh I can't wait until August 3. I will gladly drive her to college then. Give me strength.
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Replies
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My favorite saying when I was 18 was "You can't tell me what to do! I'm 18! I'm an ADULT!"
God I was such a s&#^head. I don't know how my parents kept themselves from punching me in the face; I'd have deserved it.
Just think: pretty soon you'll have a completely different relationship without the power struggle dynamic.0 -
When you're taking her to college, can you swing by my house and pick up my daughter? She's only 8 but they'll take her - I'M SURE OF IT!!!0
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I have 4 classes of teenagers. I dream about strangling them daily. :bigsmile:
Kids never listen when they're that age so it's best to just let them make the mistake.0 -
As a former teenager with parents who knew everything (Strangely, as you get older they start to make more sense lol) we don't want to be told how to be healthy. It's COLLEGE!!!! we know we're going to eat ice cream at 4 am... and chicken tenders for breakfast. And if we want to play Wii for 6 hours.. it'll probably happen. But we're on our own so there's not much mom and dad can do about it....
Fast forward 5 years and I'm working off my Freshman 15.... Sophmore 10...Junior 13... and Senior 10... give or take a few pounds. It's not easy!!! I wish I had listened and had the dedication to at least work out. I mean come on, how often to you get a free gym membership with all the perks, on college campus, minutes from your dorm!?!? But now I have to pay for it and work at my big girl job... So yeah, Dad was right. And you're right too.... but she doesn't want to hear that... if she is curious she'll ask.. trust me :-)
but that's just my 2 cents0 -
I am an 18 year old and I can see your frusteration. Its a tough situation. All you can do it keep reminding her positively about what you know, although she might hate it. Through experience, it has to be HER ultimate decision to realize/change what shes is doing to her body.
I personally love my dad to death as he is my #1 supporter in this journey. He always ask, "hows your diet" "losing any weight today" "your look skinny" "Im proud of you" Just little reminders everyday keep me going. But also in my situation, Im teaching him about diet and exercise and it was MY choice to lose weight, not his. So I will definately miss his support, maybe she will realize later when you arent pestering her what you were trying to tell her all along!!
Also once she gains the freshman 15 she might come around. Or I personally always think of all the other girls that will be on campus, skinny pretty so why cant i be like that! Just give it time, hopefully someday she will WANT to change her habits.0 -
All teenagers know EVERYTHING, What's the matter Dad?
Shockingly enough, my teenage boy for maybe the first time ever today ACTUALLY asked me stuff re: fitness and protein. He felt really sore after football workout, he actually rolled on a foam roller and asked me how to add more protein to his diet. I nearly fell over DEAD!:noway: Some day she will come around and once again you will be the Dad she looks up to and asks for advice. 
Until then, gently guide! 0 -
I have a 14yo daughter, and she knows everything too. I'm so lucky to have her in the house to correct me when I'm wrong about something, like the slushy being good for her, like fruit, not sugar food coloring and ice. What a blessing to have such a font of knowledge at my fingertips. My husband and I can't wait for the 9yo to reach that age, because she already knows just about everything too! YIPPEEEE!! :sad:0
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If this is the first year you DIDN"T know anything, then you are doing good! :happy: Teenagers are enough to drive you crazy. I love how my daughter asks my opinion and purposely choosed the opposite of what I tell her. (She is 16.) Her brother (18, in college and still living at home) insists he should not have to clean his bathroom because if he lived in a dorm he wouldn't have to do it. Well, DUH! If he lived in the dorm the bathroom would be CLEAN! Kids. Gotta love them, because no one else will take them! 0
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Teenagers...ahhh.
Unfortunately, you can tell her this and that 'til you're blue in the face (and it's part of your job to do that even though it's absolutely pointless lol), but it's not going to get her to do anything she doesn't want to or not do anything she does want to. I have a 15 year old who started high school this past year, and I'm realizing pretty quickly that I do in fact know nothing, and she does in fact know everything (yah right).
God grant us the serenity to...screw that, pick up mine on the way by too.0 -
Just so you know, I'm 18 and a freshman in college, and I ate terribly for most of my life without gaining (too much) weight. The last couple years I've been a little bit chubbyish, but I am in a healthy BMI range, and I look fairly normal. I haven't gained any weight in college. Actually, I've lost some! But, this was due to the fact that I have had to become much more responsible for myself, and one of those things that has seemed to come along with it is struggling to be as healthy as I can force myself to be. A lot of my friends have started to try to be healthy once they got to college, too. Now that I've been using MFP it's felt much easier for me to be healthy and lose a bit of weight, whereas before I would go between being pretty healthy for a bit and completely letting myself go for a bit.
I'm just saying this so that you won't worry too much about your daughter when she goes to college (although I'm sure a part of you wants to say "I told you so!" :P ). Before college, we still are partially kids, and most kids can eat a ton of crap without worrying about how healthy a choice it was. Once we get to college, it's a complete change of mindset. Of course, we aren't fully adults, but we become much more of one than in high school. I think the mentality is likely to reach your daughter, too
Until then, stay strong! :P0 -
I am a high school English teacher, so I know exactly what you are talking about. You can tell you daughter that this is what happened to me:
18 yrs old: 165 lbs.
22 yrs old: 200 lbs.
30 yrs old: 238 lbs.
Now I want to puke when I look in the mirror. Perhaps she will get the point if you share this with her.0 -
I love it when people put all teenagers in the same category. Not all teenagers are the same. My dad is right most of the time. I'm 19 and I figured that out a long time ago. My sister who is 15 knows that and knows what's good for her. (the 14 year old though fits into the category you all speak of) Not all teenagers are mindless good for nothing idiots. I hate when people think just because someone is young that they have no sense of reality. I know some wisdom only comes with age but there are PLENTY of people who are older than me who have no idea what goes on in an intelligent world. Some teenagers are actually mature and intelligent people and deserve to be treated as such. I'm still technically a teenager and I hope when I have my own kids that I'll be able to have discussions with them and raise them in a way that they can still talk to me and if it's not me than someone who is a positive adult influence. That's the way my parents raised me. Automatically assuming that a teenager is going to be a dramatic idiot is completely offensive to those of us that are good. I'm not saying that any of you think that way but when there's a whole thread bashing teenagers it does come off that way.
To the OP- Your daughter will figure it out that you can't eat that way eventually. I've noticed that in college people do start to eat healthier than they did in high school. I do and many of my friends are the same way. And I understand that you wanted to vent about your daughter and you were totally right in doing so but next time pick a different title that doesn't pertain to everyone in the that age group.0 -
Just so you know, I'm 18 and a freshman in college, and I ate terribly for most of my life without gaining (too much) weight. The last couple years I've been a little bit chubbyish, but I am in a healthy BMI range, and I look fairly normal. I haven't gained any weight in college. Actually, I've lost some! But, this was due to the fact that I have had to become much more responsible for myself, and one of those things that has seemed to come along with it is struggling to be as healthy as I can force myself to be. A lot of my friends have started to try to be healthy once they got to college, too. Now that I've been using MFP it's felt much easier for me to be healthy and lose a bit of weight, whereas before I would go between being pretty healthy for a bit and completely letting myself go for a bit.
I'm just saying this so that you won't worry too much about your daughter when she goes to college (although I'm sure a part of you wants to say "I told you so!" :P ). Before college, we still are partially kids, and most kids can eat a ton of crap without worrying about how healthy a choice it was. Once we get to college, it's a complete change of mindset. Of course, we aren't fully adults, but we become much more of one than in high school. I think the mentality is likely to reach your daughter, too
Until then, stay strong! :P
The truth is that as she developed into a woman she has really put weight on. She is a premier soccer player but when that stops, look out. As a dad, I absolutely can't say a word about her weight. All I can do is suggest but I will miss her when she goes to college. At least until I remember all the heartache she caused with her meaningless arguments about nothing important. No, I really will miss her.0 -
I love it when people put all teenagers in the same category. Not all teenagers are the same. My dad is right most of the time. I'm 19 and I figured that out a long time ago. My sister who is 15 knows that and knows what's good for her. (the 14 year old though fits into the category you all speak of) Not all teenagers are mindless good for nothing idiots. I hate when people think just because someone is young that they have no sense of reality. I know some wisdom only comes with age but there are PLENTY of people who are older than me who have no idea what goes on in an intelligent world. Some teenagers are actually mature and intelligent people and deserve to be treated as such. I'm still technically a teenager and I hope when I have my own kids that I'll be able to have discussions with them and raise them in a way that they can still talk to me and if it's not me than someone who is a positive adult influence. That's the way my parents raised me. Automatically assuming that a teenager is going to be a dramatic idiot is completely offensive to those of us that are good. I'm not saying that any of you think that way but when there's a whole thread bashing teenagers it does come off that way.
To the OP- Your daughter will figure it out that you can't eat that way eventually. I've noticed that in college people do start to eat healthier than they did in high school. I do and many of my friends are the same way. And I understand that you wanted to vent about your daughter and you were totally right in doing so but next time pick a different title that doesn't pertain to everyone in the that age group.
You know Healthy that you are right. All teenagers are not the same. If I could change the title I would change it to my teenage daughter.... give me strength. My 14 year old son gets it. He is right here with me on healthy eating now that I am onboard. I guess now that I am eating healthy I may not know everything, but it comes off that way.... Then again when she argues the opposite of me for everything, That gets under my skin. This is just an extension of that every day occurrence in our household.0 -
To the original poster:
I'm posting this as a person who has an 18 year old sister who works at a Baskin Robbins... and it's right next to Pizza Hut. Whaddya thank she eats for dinner every night?|
To be honest, having it come from a father isn't the same as having it come from a friend, or even a mother. As a teenager, I felt my father was very judgemental of me. If he told me I needed to lose weight, I got pissed at him. But if my mom told me, I would ask for help. I don't know why it's different, but it seems to be that way.
Also, when she gets to college, she may be pushed into eating healthier. Especially if she doesn't already have a boyfriend. Some girls get into college and are like "OMG, I'm fat. But guess what? There's a gym a three-minute walk away, I'm going to go find some boys."
Okay, that seemed a bit long and ramble-ish, but my main point is... I would lead by example. Pushing her won't make her change, it may make her go further back just to piss you off. The best thing to do is go on your merry way (and maybe take out some of the unhealthy items in the house, if you can).
To others:
Yeah, I just feel the need to reiterate that not all teenagers are stubborn mules (just most).
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I love it when people put all teenagers in the same category. Not all teenagers are the same. My dad is right most of the time. I'm 19 and I figured that out a long time ago. My sister who is 15 knows that and knows what's good for her. (the 14 year old though fits into the category you all speak of) Not all teenagers are mindless good for nothing idiots. I hate when people think just because someone is young that they have no sense of reality. I know some wisdom only comes with age but there are PLENTY of people who are older than me who have no idea what goes on in an intelligent world. Some teenagers are actually mature and intelligent people and deserve to be treated as such. I'm still technically a teenager and I hope when I have my own kids that I'll be able to have discussions with them and raise them in a way that they can still talk to me and if it's not me than someone who is a positive adult influence. That's the way my parents raised me. Automatically assuming that a teenager is going to be a dramatic idiot is completely offensive to those of us that are good. I'm not saying that any of you think that way but when there's a whole thread bashing teenagers it does come off that way.
To the OP- Your daughter will figure it out that you can't eat that way eventually. I've noticed that in college people do start to eat healthier than they did in high school. I do and many of my friends are the same way. And I understand that you wanted to vent about your daughter and you were totally right in doing so but next time pick a different title that doesn't pertain to everyone in the that age group.
Hun, I think you took this the wrong way. I don't think my daughter is a mindless idiot (and I doubt any of the other parents think that of their kids either), but she is JUST like I was at her age. I thought I knew what was best for me, and I didn't. Man...I so didn't. The apple (sometimes) doesn't fall far from the tree, so hopefully you'll end up with a teenager who's as intelligent, thoughtful and mature as yourself, however...that may not be the case.
Parents need to vent too or we'd go insane.0 -
I love it when people put all teenagers in the same category. Not all teenagers are the same. My dad is right most of the time. I'm 19 and I figured that out a long time ago. My sister who is 15 knows that and knows what's good for her. (the 14 year old though fits into the category you all speak of) Not all teenagers are mindless good for nothing idiots. I hate when people think just because someone is young that they have no sense of reality. I know some wisdom only comes with age but there are PLENTY of people who are older than me who have no idea what goes on in an intelligent world. Some teenagers are actually mature and intelligent people and deserve to be treated as such. I'm still technically a teenager and I hope when I have my own kids that I'll be able to have discussions with them and raise them in a way that they can still talk to me and if it's not me than someone who is a positive adult influence. That's the way my parents raised me. Automatically assuming that a teenager is going to be a dramatic idiot is completely offensive to those of us that are good. I'm not saying that any of you think that way but when there's a whole thread bashing teenagers it does come off that way.
To the OP- Your daughter will figure it out that you can't eat that way eventually. I've noticed that in college people do start to eat healthier than they did in high school. I do and many of my friends are the same way. And I understand that you wanted to vent about your daughter and you were totally right in doing so but next time pick a different title that doesn't pertain to everyone in the that age group.
Hun, I think you took this the wrong way. I don't think my daughter is a mindless idiot (and I doubt any of the other parents think that of their kids either), but she is JUST like I was at her age. I thought I knew what was best for me, and I didn't. Man...I so didn't. The apple (sometimes) doesn't fall far from the tree, so hopefully you'll end up with a teenager who's as intelligent, thoughtful and mature as yourself, however...that may not be the case.
Parents need to vent too or we'd go insane.
First of all, I do not appreciate being called "Hun." It is not a term of endearment. I did not take anything the wrong way. The OP probably did not mean for this to turn into a topic bashing teenagers but that is what is turned into. He was just trying to get advice on how to make his daughter healthier. I believe your initial post started with "Teenagers...ahhh." That would be a generalization. The word "teenager" has somehow turned into a negative thing yet there are so many teenagers out there who are nothing but good kids. Yet for some reason when one hears the word teenager they automatically think of some kid yelling at his or her parents or some kid out getting drunk at a party or out getting pregnant. Almost everyone who posted made a comment about how kids never listen or how teenagers think they know everything. You have every right to vent about your kids but vent about your own kids. There's no need to make comments on the age group as a whole.0 -
I love it when people put all teenagers in the same category. Not all teenagers are the same. My dad is right most of the time. I'm 19 and I figured that out a long time ago. My sister who is 15 knows that and knows what's good for her. (the 14 year old though fits into the category you all speak of) Not all teenagers are mindless good for nothing idiots. I hate when people think just because someone is young that they have no sense of reality. I know some wisdom only comes with age but there are PLENTY of people who are older than me who have no idea what goes on in an intelligent world. Some teenagers are actually mature and intelligent people and deserve to be treated as such. I'm still technically a teenager and I hope when I have my own kids that I'll be able to have discussions with them and raise them in a way that they can still talk to me and if it's not me than someone who is a positive adult influence. That's the way my parents raised me. Automatically assuming that a teenager is going to be a dramatic idiot is completely offensive to those of us that are good. I'm not saying that any of you think that way but when there's a whole thread bashing teenagers it does come off that way.
To the OP- Your daughter will figure it out that you can't eat that way eventually. I've noticed that in college people do start to eat healthier than they did in high school. I do and many of my friends are the same way. And I understand that you wanted to vent about your daughter and you were totally right in doing so but next time pick a different title that doesn't pertain to everyone in the that age group.
Hun, I think you took this the wrong way. I don't think my daughter is a mindless idiot (and I doubt any of the other parents think that of their kids either), but she is JUST like I was at her age. I thought I knew what was best for me, and I didn't. Man...I so didn't. The apple (sometimes) doesn't fall far from the tree, so hopefully you'll end up with a teenager who's as intelligent, thoughtful and mature as yourself, however...that may not be the case.
Parents need to vent too or we'd go insane.
First of all, I do not appreciate being called "Hun." It is not a term of endearment. I did not take anything the wrong way. The OP probably did not mean for this to turn into a topic bashing teenagers but that is what is turned into. He was just trying to get advice on how to make his daughter healthier. I believe your initial post started with "Teenagers...ahhh." That would be a generalization. The word "teenager" has somehow turned into a negative thing yet there are so many teenagers out there who are nothing but good kids. Yet for some reason when one hears the word teenager they automatically think of some kid yelling at his or her parents or some kid out getting drunk at a party or out getting pregnant. Almost everyone who posted made a comment about how kids never listen or how teenagers think they know everything. You have every right to vent about your kids but vent about your own kids. There's no need to make comments on the age group as a whole.
I teach high school and I have for the past 5 years and I have seen a WIDE variety of all kinds of teenagers and I can say without a doubt that 98% think they know everything. There's MANY that I love dearly.....but they still have A LOT TO LEARN.
There's NOTHING wrong with calling someone hun. It is an enderaing term.....but then again....teenagers know everything.0 -
I love it when people put all teenagers in the same category. Not all teenagers are the same. My dad is right most of the time. I'm 19 and I figured that out a long time ago. My sister who is 15 knows that and knows what's good for her. (the 14 year old though fits into the category you all speak of) Not all teenagers are mindless good for nothing idiots. I hate when people think just because someone is young that they have no sense of reality. I know some wisdom only comes with age but there are PLENTY of people who are older than me who have no idea what goes on in an intelligent world. Some teenagers are actually mature and intelligent people and deserve to be treated as such. I'm still technically a teenager and I hope when I have my own kids that I'll be able to have discussions with them and raise them in a way that they can still talk to me and if it's not me than someone who is a positive adult influence. That's the way my parents raised me. Automatically assuming that a teenager is going to be a dramatic idiot is completely offensive to those of us that are good. I'm not saying that any of you think that way but when there's a whole thread bashing teenagers it does come off that way.
To the OP- Your daughter will figure it out that you can't eat that way eventually. I've noticed that in college people do start to eat healthier than they did in high school. I do and many of my friends are the same way. And I understand that you wanted to vent about your daughter and you were totally right in doing so but next time pick a different title that doesn't pertain to everyone in the that age group.
Hun, I think you took this the wrong way. I don't think my daughter is a mindless idiot (and I doubt any of the other parents think that of their kids either), but she is JUST like I was at her age. I thought I knew what was best for me, and I didn't. Man...I so didn't. The apple (sometimes) doesn't fall far from the tree, so hopefully you'll end up with a teenager who's as intelligent, thoughtful and mature as yourself, however...that may not be the case.
Parents need to vent too or we'd go insane.
First of all, I do not appreciate being called "Hun." It is not a term of endearment. I did not take anything the wrong way. The OP probably did not mean for this to turn into a topic bashing teenagers but that is what is turned into. He was just trying to get advice on how to make his daughter healthier. I believe your initial post started with "Teenagers...ahhh." That would be a generalization. The word "teenager" has somehow turned into a negative thing yet there are so many teenagers out there who are nothing but good kids. Yet for some reason when one hears the word teenager they automatically think of some kid yelling at his or her parents or some kid out getting drunk at a party or out getting pregnant. Almost everyone who posted made a comment about how kids never listen or how teenagers think they know everything. You have every right to vent about your kids but vent about your own kids. There's no need to make comments on the age group as a whole.
Hmm. I was polite in my response to you, but you're set on overreacting. Perhaps you're not as mature as I thought. I take back my "Hun".
Teenagers are not the wisest creatures on the planet, in general. If you think of yourself as an exception to that, that's great, but the teenage years are not known for being the most well thought out years. You're barely a teenager anymore, don't stress too much about a thread on a message board with a bunch of parents venting about their kids. 0 -
I can see it is time for a little levity here to lighten the mood. I am not a teenager, nor do I have any. I don't think a 13 year old Yorkshire terrier qualifies:laugh: :laugh: despite the fact that he often makes me crazier than I already am.
I was just thinking about that old joke about the young man who went away to college and when he came back two years later, he was amazed at how much smarter his DAD had become!!!:laugh: :laugh: :laugh: :laugh:
Seriously,
I have been following BrendaLee's posts on here for months and have found her to be a sensitive thoughtful person. If something was said that ruffled a feather along the way, I can vouch for the fact that it was not done purposefully.
People make generalizations every day. If I wanted to, I could start a thread expressing frustrations about dealing with my parents, whom I love dearly, but at ages 83 and 94, they are sometimes frustrating to deal with because we are not always on the same wavelength. There are many other members of the "sandwich generation" (people taking care of their kids and their parents) who would see such a post and identify with it and make some generalizations along the way, but that would not mean that they didn't love their kids any less.
It also would not mean they were painting everyone with the same brush.
Let's take a deep breath and move on....The last sentence on my ticker kind of puts it all in perspective....0
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