i don't want to be in love anymore :-/

deniseearheart
deniseearheart Posts: 919 Member
in Chit-Chat
I've had enough!!! The last year of the relationship and now him and I being separated .. he says we are still together just taking time apart. It hurts and even though he is being great now I can't handle his distance from me and the way it is.. I know I sound like a broken record but good God I've had enough!!! This effects my life so bad :-(
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Replies

  • dlegros
    dlegros Posts: 162 Member
    Grab a copy of "The Truth Is..." by Theory of a Deadman and blast track 6 (Love is Hell) out loud - feels great! Along with quite a few other tracks off that album.

    Sorry to hear things are going so rough for you right now :-(
  • Christina2927
    Christina2927 Posts: 56 Member
    I've been there done that and sometimes you just have to let go. I was in two relationships that sounded just like yours. It's sad it took two relationships for me to figure out what I want and deserve. My last relationship he told me we were taking time apart but still called and wanted to spend time with me but at the same time was very distant. It got so bad that it affected my job and thats when I had to say enough and my love started turning cold and I began pulling away and eventually let go.

    It's going to hurt and be hard but when its affecting your life in a negative way you have to do what best for you and only you. Its taken me 2 really bad relationships to realize I love myself more and want to be happy all of the time not just when the relationship is good. Don't get me wrong be alone can suck sometimes but you have to find that inner strength, we all have it, it just takes some time to find it. Eventually you will get tired and really feel like you have had enough. A person can only take so much before the love turns bitter and possibly into hate and you dont want that trust me.

    Feel free to message me anytime if you need someone to talk to. You dont sound like a broken record. We all go through relationship problems and just having someone who will listen can make all the difference in how you feel about the situation.
  • taunto
    taunto Posts: 6,420 Member
    I will feed the attention seeker just once. Just once, in case somebody who comes across this and finds it helpful.

    I found love about 10 years ago. I was lucky to have found it at a young age. I unfortunately lost it after 2 years. Its been over 8 years and I think about it every day. I do not cry over the fact that I lost my love. I donot ask for pity.

    I am happy. I find comfort and pleasure that if I die tomorrow, I would know what love is. That is enough for me. I now read the letter I wrote to her and the poems I wrote for her.

    If you've had enough of somebody, then I don't think you're in love with that person. Move on and be happy with yourself and let him/her be happy with themselve
  • deniseearheart
    deniseearheart Posts: 919 Member
    How can you decide not to be "in love" anymore. I thought it just happens, it is divine.



    I just wish I could stop loving him.. its hurting everything "
  • xLexa
    xLexa Posts: 482 Member
    Better to get it out than keep it all inside it will drive you nuts. Honestly though if you can just not have some contact with him for a while then do it for you. He sounds like he is pulling your strings. He wants you he wants you not, you're together, you're not, but hey just incase she moves on and I change my mind let's call it a break! Girl try to take control and don't let him pull the strings like that because as long as he sees that he can he will always do it.
  • AliciaAnne1984
    AliciaAnne1984 Posts: 35
    I know it's cliché but time really does heal. In the meantime it sucks waiting so I would suggest:

    1. Wake up, shower and smile (no matter how forced) and tell yourself it's going to be a great day.
    2. Remove him from any and all social media (no FB stalking)
    3. Exercise
    4. Take group classes (something you're interested in or exercise related)
    5. Be kind to yourself... Bed and DVD's do amazing things
    6. Date yourself... Go and do nice things just for you. Personally I love doing dinners and movies by myself. It took some getting used to but I ended up really loving the 'me' time.
    7. Write it down... Writing your feelings down helps clear your head.

    I know these things helped me when I took a really long time to get over someone. I had to make myself do all of it but I started to feel better almost immediately.

    Just know that it will get better... :)
  • cat3555
    cat3555 Posts: 3
    Don't listen to the hater. If we can't support in all facet's of a persons life then the haters should not be on here or spreading their hate and negative attitudes.
  • gazelleintraining
    gazelleintraining Posts: 107
    You can love people that A) aren't good for you and B) aren't meant for you, and it will hurt the same because it's unrequited love. You deserve more. Accept no substitutes for the real thing. You may have loved, but it has already moved on. You will find new love again. Some people believe that people enter and exit our lives not by our will, and that sometimes people exit to help you grow. You were meant for more, and you will have more. Heal, move on, and know that self-love and romantic love are two sides of the same coin.
  • lulabellewoowoo
    lulabellewoowoo Posts: 3,125 Member
    I think many will agree that physical fitness and health go hand in hand with mental health. Relationships have a HUGE impact on our physical well-being.
  • Slimat30
    Slimat30 Posts: 142
    You can love people that A) aren't good for you and B) aren't meant for you, and it will hurt the same because it's unrequited love. You deserve more. Accept no substitutes for the real thing. You may have loved, but it has already moved on. You will find new love again. Some people believe that people enter and exit our lives not by our will, and that sometimes people exit to help you grow. You were meant for more, and you will have more. Heal, move on, and know that self-love and romantic love are two sides of the same coin.

    Love this!!
  • sannsk
    sannsk Posts: 203 Member
    Every girl deserves a guy who ruins her lipstick and not her mascara...

    If you're unhappy, He's not worthy of you... If he were, he would be doing all that he could with all the willpower in the world to make sure you're happy..

    just my $0.02
  • 12skipafew99100
    12skipafew99100 Posts: 1,669 Member
    How can you decide not to be "in love" anymore. I thought it just happens, it is divine.

    Certain things happen at the beginning of a relationship that get the initial attraction going and we fall into infatuation. As time progresses we learn the cold hard facts about the other and we accept them, warts and all. We make a dicision to love at this point. And we can decide not to love. When we get married we commit to loving forever, so there is no going back. Love is a choice ultimately. The feeling of falling in love comes and goes many time in a life time even in the same relationship but the committment, or chioce to love, is there forever.
  • cppeace
    cppeace Posts: 764 Member
    Every girl deserves a guy who ruins her lipstick and not her mascara...

    If you're unhappy, He's not worthy of you... If he were, he would be doing all that he could with all the willpower in the world to make sure you're happy..

    just my $0.02

    love that quote :)
  • DocCollins_SFA
    DocCollins_SFA Posts: 113
    I don't either... :(
  • deniseearheart
    deniseearheart Posts: 919 Member
    Don't listen to the hater. If we can't support in all facet's of a persons life then the haters should not be on here or spreading their hate and negative attitudes.

    You're obviously not aware of the OP :)

    But I applaud your spirit nonetheless





    And??? SO what!!! so I complain about my relationship.. I am in a new location, not many friends and no family.. Also, we were only here 2 weeks before he dumped me and hurt me (although we are sort of working it out). I have said it numerous times to a few of you that find my posts so annoying and OFFENSIVE that when you see a thread with my name deniseearheart next to it DO NOT CLICK ON IT!!! Another thing, I don't post it in nutrition, fitness or goals it is in CHIT CHAT, fun and games..
  • deniseearheart
    deniseearheart Posts: 919 Member
    WRONG!
    you can't just get it and out.
    Love isn't a joke, if you really truly love him, make it work.
    The only exceptions to get out is if he has another woman or he is beating you up.





    Just because you love someone does not mean it can work... Besides I AM TRYING to make it work... he is the one being distant
  • wolverine66
    wolverine66 Posts: 3,779 Member
    WRONG!
    you can't just get it and out.
    Love isn't a joke, if you really truly love him, make it work.
    The only exceptions to get out is if he has another woman or he is beating you up.

    Just because you love someone does not mean it can work... Besides I AM TRYING to make it work... he is the one being distant

    I think this is one of those "if you love someone, set it free" situations. he's the one wanting out, so let him go. the pain will still be there, but it will subside much quicker than you fighting for something over a long period of time that he doesn't want.

    i know people say it's hard work to maintain a relationship, but it shouldn't be emotional torture.
  • oregonzoo
    oregonzoo Posts: 4,251 Member
    For the love of all things fried and quinoa. Get to the damned therapist.

    I know you are going through tough times, you know you are going through tough times, All of MFP know you are going through tough times, people in Guam know you are going through tough times.
    Last night in the Presidential they both acknowledged that YES you are going through tough times.

    I'm sure you are a really sweet person but you HAVE got to move on. Everytime you think of him, make a list of things YOU need to do to make things better for YOU and your son.
    Of course the man is being distant you broke up.
  • heygurlheyyyy
    heygurlheyyyy Posts: 84 Member
    OMG Make it stop. Buy a diary or something. Please.


    EDIT: Just saw the post above mine. Kudos. Well said. Nicely done. I love you. :laugh: /EDIT
  • randomtai
    randomtai Posts: 9,003 Member
    ::sigh::
    ahhh+hell+no+not+this+thing+again+my+ex+wanted+_3d4338d247497bbda7d7840e417ba3ae.gif
  • Natashaa1991
    Natashaa1991 Posts: 866 Member
    i've been forever alone in a while now. it sucks. i wanna fall in love :(
  • AsaThorsWoman
    AsaThorsWoman Posts: 2,303 Member
    You could try Ayureveda (I know I'm spelling that wrong). It's wonderful for self healing. I used it earlier this year.
  • AsaThorsWoman
    AsaThorsWoman Posts: 2,303 Member
    I'm sorry all these "people" are trash talking you for going through a hard time and talking about it. Most people think women shouldn't talk about their emotions, but I think you should!

    Don't let their sexism get you down.

    Block them and add me. LOL.
  • MTBrob
    MTBrob Posts: 513 Member

    he is the one being distant

    Your king is in another castle.
  • dkoroschetz
    dkoroschetz Posts: 67 Member
    WRONG!
    you can't just get it and out.
    Love isn't a joke, if you really truly love him, make it work.
    The only exceptions to get out is if he has another woman or he is beating you up.

    Agreed!!! Love is like war, easy to start, difficult to stop.

    Oh my goodness, my husband and I have been through years of good and bad and as much as I would like to think I could move on without him, I can't. We are just meant to be and we just make it work. We've certainly learned over the years how to deal with issues and communicate better.

    Only YOU can decide if you are willing to work for the relationship and only YOU can decide if the relationship is worth working for. Good luck!
  • TaylorsGranddad
    TaylorsGranddad Posts: 453 Member
    I split up & that was the kick i needed to start dieting, I have patched things up and split up 3 times with me wife, and I understand what you mean, it's not easy & we both had to realise we werr lying to each other cos that was easier. I hope you find happiness, I'm still looking AND quite enjoying it, if I'm honest.


    Craig
  • juliecat1
    juliecat1 Posts: 3,450 Member
    For the love of all things fried and quinoa. Get to the damned therapist.

    I know you are going through tough times, you know you are going through tough times, All of MFP know you are going through tough times, people in Guam know you are going through tough times.
    Last night in the Presidential they both acknowledged that YES you are going through tough times.

    I'm sure you are a really sweet person but you HAVE got to move on. Everytime you think of him, make a list of things YOU need to do to make things better for YOU and your son.
    Of course the man is being distant you broke up.

    :heart:

    She's totally right. Why are you giving him permission to keep you dangling (on a break) That's a bs excuse for I don't want to tell you it's over incase I can't find something else. Move on. For your own sanity. Take charge of this for yourself.
  • holly3585
    holly3585 Posts: 282 Member
    Honey it is ok. There are ups and downs, and if it doesn't hurt sometimes, then the good won't feel as good. If the time apart is hurting you, and he isn't responding to your pain, maube a clean break and a fresh stat will be a good thing to ponder.

    Best of luck :flowerforyou:
  • rossi02
    rossi02 Posts: 549 Member
    You need to stop thinking with your heart and go with your brain. Even if you two are trying to work things out, never allow yourself to be in such a vulnerable state again. Do not allow someone to have so much control over your life that without them in it, you can't function. Use this time to work on you and figure out what you want to do in life... if later down the road, you two end up back together, you'll be able to go into it with a better frame of mind and have your independence.
  • fawndam
    fawndam Posts: 595 Member
    Awe sweetie.:flowerforyou: ..sorry to hear that..."time apart" usually means, I am thinking about dating or screwing someone else" ..take it as a grain of salt if you will but girl...YOU DESERVE BETTER! There are men out there that know how to treat a lady and love a woman. Give yourself the gift of freedom...delete him from your phone and life...no contact at all is the best way to get over him sweetie...(((hugs))) and ignore stupid posts on here...:mad:

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