Anyone with Depression/Anxiety

Identify the cause and then let it go.

How exactly do you let go of a biological neurotransmitter imbalance? I'm intrigued.

I don't think some people understand the difference between clinical depression and being in a 'funk,' it's quite frankly offensive.

I think being aware of your mental state and catching yourself before you get really deep into a depressive episode is key.

Actually I do understand the difference and was not trying to be offensive. Sometimes the answer for someone isn't that complicated and I based my response on my personal experience, just like everyone else is doing. I guess since just "letting go" worked for me it's considered offensive. Awesome.

If you had a cause of your sadness that you could 'let go' and things got better then you are not clinically depressed, you're just sad. Being sad is healthy and actually a sign you are not depressed in a medical sense. Ups and downs in your mental state are part of being human- being clinically depressed is like a straight line of your mental state, with no ups or downs. Clinical depression is caused by a chemical imbalance in your brain, not by outside influences (although outside influence can exacerbate the situation.) It's not just you, it is confusing since you can be 'depressed' in the emotional sense and/or you can have 'depression' in the medical sense, which are two very different things.

Been on Citalopram for just over a year and I have gained around 14lbs.
I just try to keep smiling even on those days when I'm feeling down or hopeless.
My hubby is great and keeps keep me going too.
I'd like to come off the medication but I'm quite scared to at the moment so any advice is appreciated xxx

Also, anyone else with PTSD that suffers from recurring nightmares? If so, any suggestions on how to stop them? They are seriously about to be the death of me. I don't want to live afraid, either. I find myself extremely paranoid everywhere I go due to past incidences. Any suggestions/advice truly welcome! Please message me!

I have been having nightmares too over the last few weeks, some I remember and others I don't but they scare me a lot and I feel so exhausted when I wake up x

Been reading over this thread and I feel for all of you going through this. I am not one of those people who can just "identify the cause and move on." Trauma at various stages in my life has made that neurologically and hormonally impossible. So I thought I might make a short list of things that have helped me anyway. I'm excluding the obvious like therapy, because I really believe that you will only benefit from therapy if you're in a place where you're willing to do the work that therapy necessitates and if you can identify a healthy relationship with a therapist. So, that being said, here are some resources that help me with depression and anxiety outside of medication and therapy:

- Chamomile or valerian root tea. Both herbs help lessen anxiety and help sleep. Valerian especially helps calm me down and keep flashbacks or nightmares away. I can't speak to St. John's Wort because I've never taken it. Ladies be aware that St. John's Wort can compromise the effectiveness of hormonal birth control!

- A stoplight system. Basically, when I'm faced with a situation that makes me anxious I categorize it as either Red (NOPE DANGEROUS NOT DOING IT), Yellow (I don't feel good about this but it won't kill me), or Green (I'm as close to totally comfortable doing this as I'm ever going to be). I recognize that Red moments will happen and I avoid them. I try to move forward in as many Yellow moments as feel safe to me, so that when Red moments arise I can hopefully tackle them with a better coping mechanism.

- Self-care. Sometimes, when you can't even get out of bed, all you need to do is tell yourself that waking up is enough. You woke up today. Maybe you cried the whole time but you DID do something. And that's okay. It's okay if all you did today was shower. Or eat. Or even just breathe. Be compassionate to yourself. If you have the energy and motivation, take it a step further and do something kind for yourself. Take an extra hour to read more of that novel you've been working on, or listen to that song you like, or walk to the drugstore and buy a new lipstick/nail polish/whatever.

- Distraction. When I'm in the middle of a bad episode I try to find something distracting. I look at pictures of myself and my loved ones. I cuddle with my pets. I take a shower. For those of you who sometimes self-harm, try eating a really spicy food. Something that gives you physical sensation but doesn't actually cause harm.

I hope these are helpful for some people, and keep on keepin' on!

- A stoplight system. Basically, when I'm faced with a situation that makes me anxious I categorize it as either Red (NOPE DANGEROUS NOT DOING IT), Yellow (I don't feel good about this but it won't kill me), or Green (I'm as close to totally comfortable doing this as I'm ever going to be). I recognize that Red moments will happen and I avoid them. I try to move forward in as many Yellow moments as feel safe to me, so that when Red moments arise I can hopefully tackle them with a better coping mechanism.

That is a great tip, I'm totally going to use this. Thanks!

I've struggled with depression and anxiety for a long time, too. Over 12 years, I took every anti-depressant available, in various doses and combinations. Nothing helped in the long-term. I've seen psychiatrists, psychologists, psychotherapists; done CBT, mindfulness (DBT), grief counselling and group therapy. I was ready to give up this year. I didn't have a plan, but I felt like I was waiting to die. I was just so tired after feeling so bad for so long.

Amazingly (I still can't believe it) what helped me was changing my diet. It really was transformative. I cut out sugar and processed foods and within a week I'd started feeling more like a human being again. And when I started feeling better, I wanted to keep feeling better and so I made more little changes - I started exercising at home; I tried to take a walk everyday; little things like that.

It's still really, really hard and, if I'm honest, the novelty of feeling better has worn off and I feel overwhelmed by all the difficulties. (In a way, it's much easier when you don't care and nothing matters because you already see yourself as dead.)

I've been in a hole the last few days and just had to face the fact that I wasn't eating as well as I could or exercising. For me, when I feel that bad, there's really nothing I can do but wait until I find a foothold. Once I've got that foothold, I can build on it.

One of the hardest things for me to learn has been how to take care of myself - but eating well and exercising are a big part of that.

I agree with this -

For example, one of the best things anyone ever suggested to me was to speak to myself as if I were 5 year old me. What would you say to a five year old if she were upset? Chances are you wouldn't berate her, call her stupid, lazy, etc.

Whenever I start to berate myself now, I stop and put the kettle on. Or I go out and buy a new box of herbal tea. Try treating yourself when you need it, not when you think you deserve it.

I think being kind to yourself is the most important thing you can do, even if you feel undeserving, especially if you feel undeserving. Like the poster above said, how would you speak to your friend or your sister or your niece if she was in a similar situation? You'd be caring, you'd be supportive, you'd be non-judgemental. You've got to try to give that to yourself, too.

Good luck.

Feel free to add me (that goes for anyone. I'm not always going to be an inspiration, but I hope I'd be a support.)

Identify the cause and then let it go.

How exactly do you let go of a biological neurotransmitter imbalance? I'm intrigued.

I don't think some people understand the difference between clinical depression and being in a 'funk,' it's quite frankly offensive.

I think being aware of your mental state and catching yourself before you get really deep into a depressive episode is key.

Actually I do understand the difference and was not trying to be offensive. Sometimes the answer for someone isn't that complicated and I based my response on my personal experience, just like everyone else is doing. I guess since just "letting go" worked for me it's considered offensive. Awesome.

If you had a cause of your sadness that you could 'let go' and things got better then you are not clinically depressed, you're just sad. Being sad is healthy and actually a sign you are not depressed in a medical sense. Ups and downs in your mental state are part of being human- being clinically depressed is like a straight line of your mental state, with no ups or downs. Clinical depression is caused by a chemical imbalance in your brain, not by outside influences (although outside influence can exacerbate the situation.) It's not just you, it is confusing since you can be 'depressed' in the emotional sense and/or you can have 'depression' in the medical sense, which are two very different things.

My post was about anxiety, but thanks.

Identify the cause and then let it go.

How exactly do you let go of a biological neurotransmitter imbalance? I'm intrigued.

I don't think some people understand the difference between clinical depression and being in a 'funk,' it's quite frankly offensive.

I think being aware of your mental state and catching yourself before you get really deep into a depressive episode is key.

Actually I do understand the difference and was not trying to be offensive. Sometimes the answer for someone isn't that complicated and I based my response on my personal experience, just like everyone else is doing. I guess since just "letting go" worked for me it's considered offensive. Awesome.

If you had a cause of your sadness that you could 'let go' and things got better then you are not clinically depressed, you're just sad. Being sad is healthy and actually a sign you are not depressed in a medical sense. Ups and downs in your mental state are part of being human- being clinically depressed is like a straight line of your mental state, with no ups or downs. Clinical depression is caused by a chemical imbalance in your brain, not by outside influences (although outside influence can exacerbate the situation.) It's not just you, it is confusing since you can be 'depressed' in the emotional sense and/or you can have 'depression' in the medical sense, which are two very different things.

My post was about anxiety, but thanks.

Deep breaths, everybody.

I think a lot of people suffering from depression and anxiety are told to to "let it go" and for some that seems impossible or simply confusing. It's really wonderful that it worked for you and has worked for other people, but a lot of people suffering from depression or anxiety find this phrase triggery and become immediately defensive because they can't let it go, literally can not, that's a major symptom of their disorder. So being told to let it go is seen as, at best, unhelpful, at worst insulting. I'm sure you didn't mean this at all and were genuinely trying to be helpful. But the response you got, which probably seemed unnecessarily harsh to you, stems from how triggery this phrase can be to some people.

Deep breaths, everybody.

I think a lot of people suffering from depression and anxiety are told to to "let it go" and for some that seems impossible or simply confusing. It's really wonderful that it worked for you and has worked for other people, but a lot of people suffering from depression or anxiety find this phrase triggery and become immediately defensive because they can't let it go, literally can not, that's a major symptom of their disorder. So being told to let it go is seen as, at best, unhelpful, at worst insulting. I'm sure you didn't mean this at all and were genuinely trying to be helpful. But the response you got, which probably seemed unnecessarily harsh to you, stems from how triggery this phrase can be to some people.

Very well put, thanks! You're right, it does trigger something in me and maybe it shouldn't and I should simply 'let it go'... .
I wasn't upset about it, although I think the other gentleman was and I feel a bit bad because I wasn't trying to be a bully, I just felt the need to fill in with some facts since that mentality irks me so much in terms of depression.
Plus he was just talking about anxiety which can be different if that's all you have and that mindset may very well work for some, I do not know since I have other biological issues such as bipolar disorder that go hand in hand with my anxiety.

You will never get out of depression/anxiety by focusing on yourself. There is no amount of "me time" or "self care" that will help you. It is true that taking care of yourself and looking better will help you feel a little better, but that's not enough to get you out of depression. The problem with treating depression is in recent years we've decided that it's the equivalent of extreme low self esteem, and yes, it feels like that when you're stuck in it. BUT the root of depression is not the fact that we think we're worthless, that's only the symptom. Depression is what happens when we get stuck in a cycle of selfish thinking. The truth about each of us is that we are all stinking piles of crap held together by good intentions. What makes a good person is not the fact that that person is always good, but that they attempt to be so. This is human nature.

When we are thrust into depression by circumstances, hormones, personal failures, etc . . . (and some of us are more prone than others, not because we're bad people) our first response is to evaluate ourselves, and usually quite harshly. Then when we find out that we're really as bad as we suspected, we make another pass and berate ourselves more. THEN counselors, society, and popular beliefs, tell us that we need to keep looking inward and try to pretend that we're not stinking piles of crap and that will somehow get us out of it. BUT that's what got us mired down into it in the first place! And if you somehow manage to lie yourself out of it once, haven't you just made yourself a dishonest person and given the next depression more fuel to bash you over the head with?

The best way to get out of depression and deal with anxiety is to do just enough self examination to figure out what your bad tendencies are and figure out ways to stop them before they start bashing you over the head. This is not the kind of self examination that goes back and dwells on past mistakes, this is the kind that tries to figure out what kind of thinking got you headed in the wrong direction. For me, being a recovering agoraphobic, the front door holds a special kind of terror for me. I know that it's an illogical fear and I treat it as such. Over the last seven years, I joined a choir, started gardening, and this last year I even started walking around our neighborhood and forced myself to wave and say hi to everyone I saw. I'm sure that sounds wimpy, but it is a huge improvement for me. I have had to take it slowly, because I realized that I would have to pay for every step forward with extra anxiety later. It's like training for a marathon. You work hard, but you don't push yourself so hard that you injure yourself. You allow your body time to recover. I'm never going to be an outgoing, activities every day type of gal, but I'll be a better me (Pile of crap that I am).

That's the practical side of it, now for the spiritual. I don't care what religion or anti-religion you affiliate yourself with, this truth is the same for all of them: The value of a person is not based on what good they do for themselves, but what good they do for others, especially for those who can't pay them back.

Jesus said that if you want to be great, you have to serve others (paraphrased). Gandhi said: "Whatever you do will be insignificant, but it is very important that you do it." Mother Teresa: "One of the greatest diseases is to be nobody to anybody."

Find a mission for yourself. It doesn't have to be world changing. Make it something that any old piece of crap human can do. Then do it with all you're heart. That will will get you out of depression. And if the depression tries to come back you have more knowledge and more ammo to fight it off with.

Don't listen to the world when it tries to coddle you, gives you excuses, and tries to tell you you're a good person and you shouldn't feel bad about yourself. BS! You're a stinking pile of crap like the rest of us, so get over it and get on with it! The truth will set you free!

John Stuart Mill: "Ask yourself whether you are happy and you cease to be so."

Bring on the hate