Anyone with Depression/Anxiety

I've struggled with depression and anxiety for a long time, too. Over 12 years, I took every anti-depressant available, in various doses and combinations. Nothing helped in the long-term. I've seen psychiatrists, psychologists, psychotherapists; done CBT, mindfulness (DBT), grief counselling and group therapy. I was ready to give up this year. I didn't have a plan, but I felt like I was waiting to die. I was just so tired after feeling so bad for so long.

Amazingly (I still can't believe it) what helped me was changing my diet. It really was transformative. I cut out sugar and processed foods and within a week I'd started feeling more like a human being again. And when I started feeling better, I wanted to keep feeling better and so I made more little changes - I started exercising at home; I tried to take a walk everyday; little things like that.

It's still really, really hard and, if I'm honest, the novelty of feeling better has worn off and I feel overwhelmed by all the difficulties. (In a way, it's much easier when you don't care and nothing matters because you already see yourself as dead.)

I've been in a hole the last few days and just had to face the fact that I wasn't eating as well as I could or exercising. For me, when I feel that bad, there's really nothing I can do but wait until I find a foothold. Once I've got that foothold, I can build on it.

One of the hardest things for me to learn has been how to take care of myself - but eating well and exercising are a big part of that.

I agree with this -

For example, one of the best things anyone ever suggested to me was to speak to myself as if I were 5 year old me. What would you say to a five year old if she were upset? Chances are you wouldn't berate her, call her stupid, lazy, etc.

Whenever I start to berate myself now, I stop and put the kettle on. Or I go out and buy a new box of herbal tea. Try treating yourself when you need it, not when you think you deserve it.

I think being kind to yourself is the most important thing you can do, even if you feel undeserving, especially if you feel undeserving. Like the poster above said, how would you speak to your friend or your sister or your niece if she was in a similar situation? You'd be caring, you'd be supportive, you'd be non-judgemental. You've got to try to give that to yourself, too.

Good luck.

Feel free to add me (that goes for anyone. I'm not always going to be an inspiration, but I hope I'd be a support.)

Identify the cause and then let it go.

How exactly do you let go of a biological neurotransmitter imbalance? I'm intrigued.

I don't think some people understand the difference between clinical depression and being in a 'funk,' it's quite frankly offensive.

I think being aware of your mental state and catching yourself before you get really deep into a depressive episode is key.

Actually I do understand the difference and was not trying to be offensive. Sometimes the answer for someone isn't that complicated and I based my response on my personal experience, just like everyone else is doing. I guess since just "letting go" worked for me it's considered offensive. Awesome.

If you had a cause of your sadness that you could 'let go' and things got better then you are not clinically depressed, you're just sad. Being sad is healthy and actually a sign you are not depressed in a medical sense. Ups and downs in your mental state are part of being human- being clinically depressed is like a straight line of your mental state, with no ups or downs. Clinical depression is caused by a chemical imbalance in your brain, not by outside influences (although outside influence can exacerbate the situation.) It's not just you, it is confusing since you can be 'depressed' in the emotional sense and/or you can have 'depression' in the medical sense, which are two very different things.

My post was about anxiety, but thanks.

Identify the cause and then let it go.

How exactly do you let go of a biological neurotransmitter imbalance? I'm intrigued.

I don't think some people understand the difference between clinical depression and being in a 'funk,' it's quite frankly offensive.

I think being aware of your mental state and catching yourself before you get really deep into a depressive episode is key.

Actually I do understand the difference and was not trying to be offensive. Sometimes the answer for someone isn't that complicated and I based my response on my personal experience, just like everyone else is doing. I guess since just "letting go" worked for me it's considered offensive. Awesome.

If you had a cause of your sadness that you could 'let go' and things got better then you are not clinically depressed, you're just sad. Being sad is healthy and actually a sign you are not depressed in a medical sense. Ups and downs in your mental state are part of being human- being clinically depressed is like a straight line of your mental state, with no ups or downs. Clinical depression is caused by a chemical imbalance in your brain, not by outside influences (although outside influence can exacerbate the situation.) It's not just you, it is confusing since you can be 'depressed' in the emotional sense and/or you can have 'depression' in the medical sense, which are two very different things.

My post was about anxiety, but thanks.

Deep breaths, everybody.

I think a lot of people suffering from depression and anxiety are told to to "let it go" and for some that seems impossible or simply confusing. It's really wonderful that it worked for you and has worked for other people, but a lot of people suffering from depression or anxiety find this phrase triggery and become immediately defensive because they can't let it go, literally can not, that's a major symptom of their disorder. So being told to let it go is seen as, at best, unhelpful, at worst insulting. I'm sure you didn't mean this at all and were genuinely trying to be helpful. But the response you got, which probably seemed unnecessarily harsh to you, stems from how triggery this phrase can be to some people.

Deep breaths, everybody.

I think a lot of people suffering from depression and anxiety are told to to "let it go" and for some that seems impossible or simply confusing. It's really wonderful that it worked for you and has worked for other people, but a lot of people suffering from depression or anxiety find this phrase triggery and become immediately defensive because they can't let it go, literally can not, that's a major symptom of their disorder. So being told to let it go is seen as, at best, unhelpful, at worst insulting. I'm sure you didn't mean this at all and were genuinely trying to be helpful. But the response you got, which probably seemed unnecessarily harsh to you, stems from how triggery this phrase can be to some people.

Very well put, thanks! You're right, it does trigger something in me and maybe it shouldn't and I should simply 'let it go'... .
I wasn't upset about it, although I think the other gentleman was and I feel a bit bad because I wasn't trying to be a bully, I just felt the need to fill in with some facts since that mentality irks me so much in terms of depression.
Plus he was just talking about anxiety which can be different if that's all you have and that mindset may very well work for some, I do not know since I have other biological issues such as bipolar disorder that go hand in hand with my anxiety.

You will never get out of depression/anxiety by focusing on yourself. There is no amount of "me time" or "self care" that will help you. It is true that taking care of yourself and looking better will help you feel a little better, but that's not enough to get you out of depression. The problem with treating depression is in recent years we've decided that it's the equivalent of extreme low self esteem, and yes, it feels like that when you're stuck in it. BUT the root of depression is not the fact that we think we're worthless, that's only the symptom. Depression is what happens when we get stuck in a cycle of selfish thinking. The truth about each of us is that we are all stinking piles of crap held together by good intentions. What makes a good person is not the fact that that person is always good, but that they attempt to be so. This is human nature.

When we are thrust into depression by circumstances, hormones, personal failures, etc . . . (and some of us are more prone than others, not because we're bad people) our first response is to evaluate ourselves, and usually quite harshly. Then when we find out that we're really as bad as we suspected, we make another pass and berate ourselves more. THEN counselors, society, and popular beliefs, tell us that we need to keep looking inward and try to pretend that we're not stinking piles of crap and that will somehow get us out of it. BUT that's what got us mired down into it in the first place! And if you somehow manage to lie yourself out of it once, haven't you just made yourself a dishonest person and given the next depression more fuel to bash you over the head with?

The best way to get out of depression and deal with anxiety is to do just enough self examination to figure out what your bad tendencies are and figure out ways to stop them before they start bashing you over the head. This is not the kind of self examination that goes back and dwells on past mistakes, this is the kind that tries to figure out what kind of thinking got you headed in the wrong direction. For me, being a recovering agoraphobic, the front door holds a special kind of terror for me. I know that it's an illogical fear and I treat it as such. Over the last seven years, I joined a choir, started gardening, and this last year I even started walking around our neighborhood and forced myself to wave and say hi to everyone I saw. I'm sure that sounds wimpy, but it is a huge improvement for me. I have had to take it slowly, because I realized that I would have to pay for every step forward with extra anxiety later. It's like training for a marathon. You work hard, but you don't push yourself so hard that you injure yourself. You allow your body time to recover. I'm never going to be an outgoing, activities every day type of gal, but I'll be a better me (Pile of crap that I am).

That's the practical side of it, now for the spiritual. I don't care what religion or anti-religion you affiliate yourself with, this truth is the same for all of them: The value of a person is not based on what good they do for themselves, but what good they do for others, especially for those who can't pay them back.

Jesus said that if you want to be great, you have to serve others (paraphrased). Gandhi said: "Whatever you do will be insignificant, but it is very important that you do it." Mother Teresa: "One of the greatest diseases is to be nobody to anybody."

Find a mission for yourself. It doesn't have to be world changing. Make it something that any old piece of crap human can do. Then do it with all you're heart. That will will get you out of depression. And if the depression tries to come back you have more knowledge and more ammo to fight it off with.

Don't listen to the world when it tries to coddle you, gives you excuses, and tries to tell you you're a good person and you shouldn't feel bad about yourself. BS! You're a stinking pile of crap like the rest of us, so get over it and get on with it! The truth will set you free!

John Stuart Mill: "Ask yourself whether you are happy and you cease to be so."

Bring on the hate

Suffered clinical depression since the age of 13, and have been on various medications since then, but have tried to avoid them for sometime as there is uncertainty as to whether I have bipolar and I had some really nasty, frightening side effects from some of the medications I was put on. I also suffer panic attacks and anxiety disorder, social anxiety and OCD. Life can be very difficult. When it is good, I make the most of it, but when I slump, I slump to the point of becoming suicidal and seeing no future at all. I find working out can help, but only when it hasn't hit its worst points, at which time little seems to help at all. I am currently in one of the worst slumps I have had in a long time, due to splitting with my bf and a combination of other things, including battling a few issues with eating disordered behaviour. It can be a very lonely experience, depression.

*Hugs*

I have suffered from depression all my life and Anxiety in more recent years. How do you deal with taking care of yourself when you have moments that you just cant give a damn. I was on antidepressants but they made me apathetic and tired so I gained more weight by just laying around all day. Im off now so I am losing weight but then I will have a bad couple of days were I just dont care. What are your ways to cope with depression??

I've been dealing wth anxiety for years, and I'm not sure if I'm dealing with depression. What I try to do is to find something to do that I like: puzzles, music, something that redirects my energy.

I won't hate on you, whatever gets you healthy and out of a depressive episode is great. There's no one road to health and success. But for people whose depression is closely linked to abuse and trauma, a focus on self-worth isn't selfish at all. It's a radical act of resistance and survival.

Thank you for not hating. I like the way you have developed logical systems for dealing with your anxiety. Manipulating your brain into sanity (or something close) is a great way to overcome the illogical anxiety that you feel. That's very similar to what I do, but I like your stop light visual.

My depression and anxiety problems ARE closely linked to abuse and trauma. You can't recover by remaining a victim, though. That's the problem I see with the majority of depression sufferers (not you, as far as I can tell). Too many of them are too comfortable being happy little victims to do anything about their problems. It makes a handy excuse.

I think that you are confusing the worth of the individual with the respect of the individual. One should not be dependent on the other. Our worth does not come simply from the fact that we are present here on earth. It comes from outside of ourselves. Dare I say, it comes from God. Not because we deserve it. There is absolutely nothing we can be or do to deserve a happy life. But we are supposed to care for others whether they deserve it or not, and respect them as individuals whether they deserve it or not.

Saying to ourselves that someone should not have treated us a certain way because we are worth more than that is a lie. The truth is that no one should treat another like that whether or not they're worth anything. The first statement justifies abuse on people who are "unworthy", and being stuck in a depression it is too easy to put yourself in the "unworthy" category because truthfully it's where we all belong. The second statement says it's wrong. Period.

I know this is probably too deep for an MFP forum

I have really bad depression and anxiety too especially as of recently! And I am still in it!! I have a huge fear of people leaving me. I know it is the depression/anxiety in me that makes all those negative feelings seem soo real like these negative things will happen. Exercise gets hormones moving and I know for me it makes me feel better, but when you are in that depression it is really difficult to see that place in the distance!! As others have said I wish I could get rid of the depression too. It sucks! It is soo much easier said than done! Maybe adding others for motivation would be helpful for you!! I am amazed that soo many are in the same boat!! I know anxiety is pretty bad too. For me it seems it takes a world of its own thinking the worst. I hope all of us find a way through it as it is really and truly a tough life to deal with!! Anyone can add me if you wish!!

I'm so glad I found this thread! I have struggled with depression and anxiety of differing levels ever since I was 15 and then it got more severe in 2008 when my dad passed away and I started gaining weight. The posts here are so inspiring and I'm done telling myself that depression will get in my way!

I have been on Zoloft and finally went to a natural path and found out that I had extremely low vitamin D levels and that was the leading cause of my depression. She then gave me a herbal tea blend that helps immensely and I just started taking it again. Vitamin B also is a energy booster. I have had five kids and suffer from depression after they are born. If you are not on medications I will share my tea blend but I would talk to your doctor before you take it. It is all natural but it has St. Johns Wart in it and that has medication side effects.

*Hugs to Shelbs*

I am right there with you. I've heard all of my well-intentioned friends telling me to work out more, and I would just end up sitting on the floor and crying. Not the most effective. I'm obviously still trying to figure this stuff out myself, but I am very into tracking and logging. I would love to find a way to sync up my MFP with my moodtracker.com account to maybe help me actually visually see patterns between my mood and my exercise and diet. I would love that as an MFP feature.