Men/women I need your honest opinions please...

Good relationships aren't hard to be in

History tends to repeat itself when we don't learn from it.

Find someone new and start over. Exes are exes for a reason.

I did this fo YEARS with an ex.

After 10 years of on again, off again, I realized that I wasn't giving anyone else a real chance- I was comparing every new relationship to the one I had with Mr, X... Then one day it suddenly hit me- I realized no one would ever live u-p to Mr. X ... of course new guy didn't know me as well asMr. xx, I'd only been on 3 dates with him, of course new guy doesn't automatically know what drinks to order me, or what my favorite moves were... it was totally unfair to compare any new guys to Mr. X, because he had all those years of experience on them-

Finally, on the day this hit me, as painful as it was (when we weren't dating, we were still very close friends)... one day I sat Mr. X down and told him that I knew I would never be open to a relationship with anyone else as long as he was in my life. That was the last time I ever spoke to him.

It was hard, it sucked for a log time, but, in the end it was the best decision I ever made. About a year later, I met my future husband- we are about to hit our 3 year wedding anniversay, and I have never even ONCE been sorry I shut the door on my friendship and relationship with Mr. X.

We split. We got back together. We celebrate our 30 year anniversary next year.
There are no rules, you have to work it out for yourself I'm afraid.

I never understand how women can do this to themselves.

Just get rid of him, cut all cords, and never, ever, ever talk to him again.

End of story.

The definition of insanity is doing the same thing over and over again and expecting a different result.

Let me introduce you to a little thing called a stochastic process, life is full of them.

WOW, I totally had to Google that. So I learned something new, but it made my head hurt LOL.

"In probability theory, a stochastic process (pronunciation: /stoʊˈkæstɪk/), or sometimes random process (widely used) is a collection of random variables; this is often used to represent the evolution of some random value, or system, over time. This is the probabilistic counterpart to a deterministic process (or deterministic system). Instead of describing a process which can only evolve in one way (as in the case, for example, of solutions of an ordinary differential equation), in a stochastic or random process there is some indeterminacy: even if the initial condition (or starting point) is known, there are several (often infinitely many) directions in which the process may evolve."

So, Jeff Goldblum in Jurassic Park and his chaos theory is how I interpret it. Sheesh.

Sometimes people do change. I married a man...divorced him 7 years later and a year after that remarried him. We just celebrated our 16th wedding anniversary. You didn't list many details, so its really up to you to decide if its worth your time to see if its good or not. No one will know but you. Good luck.

Nicely said! I second this one, married for 8 1/2 years, 2 years separated and divorced, back with the man of my dreams! Times do get rough, sometimes things break, and sometimes they get fixed. Be open with him, communication is one of the crucial keys to a great relationship. Trust your heart on this one, you will know if he is the one, and only you.

I have been married way to long to say "I know what you are going through" however, the reoccurring theme that is coming up is do you trust him or can you forget the past. The fact that you posted it asking for advice says no to both of these questions. There is someone out there for you go look for him instead of trying to redo something that broke once.

"The definition of insanity is doing the same thing over and over and expecting different results."

I know that decisions like this are difficult. I had to make the same decision a number of years ago. I dated a guy on and off for about 6 years....I chose to go back to him. We had been through a lot in those 6 years. In giving him, what seemed like the 100th chance, I realized that I couldnt hold onto the past problems that we had..If we were going to make it work, I could not hold grudges and not dwell on the mistakes we both made. (mostly by him)
We just celebrated our 8th anniversary of marriage and have been together for 16 year total.
You need to decide if you can forgive and forget what he has done in the past.
If you can't let them go, then the answer is let him go and move on. You will find someone else

I chose not to read other responses because I KNOW my own story and it's a great one!

I started seeing my boyfriend when I was FAR too young. I was 15 he was 23. I always looked much older blah blah blah but fact is fact... I was too young. At 17 we rekindled what was lost the first time around and things were better but at that time with me being 17 and him 25 I was more mature than he was and yet again it didn't work out. Finally in August of me being 18 we worked it all out and now I'm 32 and have been his wife for 11 years and wouldn't change a thing.

My parents were in high school when my mother became pregnant with me. Basically forced into marriage by their parents, it didn't work out and they were divorced by the time I was 7. They dated others throughout the following 9 years, my father even fathered another child in that time with a different woman. When I was 16 I rolled my mother's car in a snowstorm on the way to my dad's house. They started spending a lot of time together during my recovery and by the next summer they were married again to each other. They celebrated their 16th wedding anniversary this past summer.

Do we (me and mine and my parents) think about things that drove us apart in the first place? Not anymore, it's just things that are now part of our history.

Good luck to you!