Pop Tarts have chemicals that could kill you instantly

ZeroWoIf
ZeroWoIf Posts: 588 Member
in Food and Nutrition
Yes that is right, and while my research is top secret at the moment I can tell you that a man by the name of Arnius is finalizing the report. He is a man that has been addicted to pop tarts and after working out suffered a massive stroke. He suffered and stroked badly for quite some time. Stroked so bad that his right arm got sore.

Few chemicals found in blueberry pop tarts:

1. windex
2. lighter fluid extract (don't confuse it with lighter fluid)
3. same chemicals found in drywall (now you know why it tastes like drywall)

Well I won't be discussed any further flavors at this moment due to privacy of our research but I will be happy to provide the chemicals inside your favorite pop tart. There is a pop tart that has crystal meth and you won't believe which one it is. It is actually the blueberry one in fact.
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Replies

  • ZeroWoIf
    ZeroWoIf Posts: 588 Member
    Thanks in advance!
  • KittieLea
    KittieLea Posts: 1,156 Member
    And where can I purchase these?
  • ZeroWoIf
    ZeroWoIf Posts: 588 Member
    And where can I purchase these?

    I was under the assumption that they can be purchased in home depot or a hardware store but they actually have them readily available for human consumption.
  • dsmpunk
    dsmpunk Posts: 262 Member
    Can I repair my plaster walls with pop tarts? If so, which flavor?
  • AllonsYtotheTardis
    AllonsYtotheTardis Posts: 16,947 Member
    Can I repair my plaster walls with pop tarts? If so, which flavor?

    Sounds like a plan - probably more durable than what's currently on my walls.
  • secretlobster
    secretlobster Posts: 3,566 Member
    I heard windex has the same chemicals that are used to make blueberry poptarts. If this doesn't make you want to start drinking windex, mmm boy

    Part of a streak-free breakfast
  • shammxo
    shammxo Posts: 1,432 Member
    I'm so glad I found this before I finished re-doing my room!
  • bulbadoof
    bulbadoof Posts: 1,058 Member
    A++, would laugh again
  • drmerc
    drmerc Posts: 2,603 Member
    100% of people who eat pop tarts are either dead or are going to die

    True story
  • ZeroWoIf
    ZeroWoIf Posts: 588 Member
    I tried to make repairs using pop tarts and everything went well up unit someone broke into my house and used a blow drier to toast the wall before they ate the whole thing. Probably would be a bad idea.
  • LoveleeB
    LoveleeB Posts: 560 Member
    Challenge Accepted!
  • Gramps251
    Gramps251 Posts: 738 Member
    Yes that is right, and while my research is top secret at the moment I can tell you that a man by the name of Arnius is finalizing the report. He is a man that has been addicted to pop tarts and after working out suffered a massive stroke. He suffered and stroked badly for quite some time. Stroked so bad that his right arm got sore.

    Few chemicals found in blueberry pop tarts:

    1. windex
    2. lighter fluid extract (don't confuse it with lighter fluid)
    3. same chemicals found in drywall (now you know why it tastes like drywall)

    Well I won't be discussed any further flavors at this moment due to privacy of our research but I will be happy to provide the chemicals inside your favorite pop tart. There is a pop tart that has crystal meth and you won't believe which one it is. It is actually the blueberry one in fact.

    If you put enough butter on them it protects you though. ;-)
  • Gramps251
    Gramps251 Posts: 738 Member
    I heard windex has the same chemicals that are used to make blueberry poptarts. If this doesn't make you want to start drinking windex, mmm boy

    Part of a streak-free breakfast

    LOL
  • TourThePast
    TourThePast Posts: 1,753 Member
    100% of people who eat pop tarts are either dead or are going to die

    True story
    You win teh internet.
  • SoDamnHungry
    SoDamnHungry Posts: 6,998 Member
    Don't forget the secret, deadliest ingredient: A trigger finger. A pop tart shot my friend, killing him instantly.
  • wattsj56
    wattsj56 Posts: 94
    gahhhhhh but they are so yummy. sad news :/.
  • dsmpunk
    dsmpunk Posts: 262 Member
    I am going to fashion a shiv out of a strawberry pop tart, stab someone, then make him eat it. Good bye evidence.
  • grim_traveller
    grim_traveller Posts: 627 Member
    Has anyone seen the new packages that Walmart sells? They are bigger than the box my shoes come in, and I wear a size 14. I thinkthere may be 48 Poptarts to a box. But at least they have strawberry, so you know they are healthy.
  • geonbaeLeilee
    geonbaeLeilee Posts: 606 Member
    Well that explains why my mirror had a streak-free shine! See, I ran out of Windex AND paper towels, so I grabbed the closest thing to me: A blueberry Pop-Tart! I was desperate, but now I know it wasn't silly to use after all!
  • alamsa
    alamsa Posts: 1 Member
    I heard windex has the same chemicals that are used to make blueberry poptarts. If this doesn't make you want to start drinking windex, mmm boy

    Part of a streak-free breakfast

    The person that does your laundry will appreciate this.

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