Pop Tarts have chemicals that could kill you instantly

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  • KittieLea
    KittieLea Posts: 1,156 Member
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    Anyone else on the Pop Tart Cleanse(tm) experiencing hallucinations, pregnancy in men and/or temporary death?

    If this doesn't improve I'm calling my Chinese herbalist next week
    I haven't experienced any of these symptoms, but I have had an erection lasting for 4 hours or longer. IS this normal?
  • Pixi_Rex
    Pixi_Rex Posts: 1,676 Member
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    I put windex on everything anyways -(isn't that how you eat clean?) so I will just add blueberry poptarts on the list of things that do not require this process.
  • MrDelts
    MrDelts Posts: 209 Member
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    I always knew this.. I clean all the glass in my house by smashing blueberry pop tarts against them, then wiping them clean with a paper towel. Streak Free!!!!!
  • secretlobster
    secretlobster Posts: 3,566 Member
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    I haven't experienced any of these symptoms, but I have had an erection lasting for 4 hours or longer. IS this normal?

    No but take advantage of that while you can
  • jerbear1962
    jerbear1962 Posts: 1,157 Member
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    So eating Pop Tarts will help get rid of skid marks...
  • joannathechef
    joannathechef Posts: 484 Member
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    Anyone else on the Pop Tart Cleanse(tm) experiencing hallucinations, pregnancy in men and/or temporary death?

    If this doesn't improve I'm calling my Chinese herbalist next week

    Is that the same as homeopathy? or is it some other quackery
  • ZeroWoIf
    ZeroWoIf Posts: 588 Member
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    Windex can be logged as water but only if you wash your butt with it first.
  • ziggyc
    ziggyc Posts: 191 Member
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    100% of people who eat pop tarts are either dead or are going to die

    True story

    Actually, 100% of all people will die, regardless of what they eat! I don't care what's in them...if I see one, I'll eat it. I like to live dangerously...cuz that's how I roll.

    No joke gets by this guy

    He's like a Joke Dreamcatcher

    lol
  • redheaddee
    redheaddee Posts: 2,005 Member
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    Yes that is right, and while my research is top secret at the moment I can tell you that a man by the name of Arnius is finalizing the report. He is a man that has been addicted to pop tarts and after working out suffered a massive stroke. He suffered and stroked badly for quite some time. Stroked so bad that his right arm got sore.

    Few chemicals found in blueberry pop tarts:

    1. windex
    2. lighter fluid extract (don't confuse it with lighter fluid)
    3. same chemicals found in drywall (now you know why it tastes like drywall)

    Well I won't be discussed any further flavors at this moment due to privacy of our research but I will be happy to provide the chemicals inside your favorite pop tart. There is a pop tart that has crystal meth and you won't believe which one it is. It is actually the blueberry one in fact.

    If you put enough butter on them it protects you though. ;-)

    Not butter, it must be fat-free margarine spread.
  • squishymissay
    squishymissay Posts: 37 Member
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    100% of people who eat pop tarts are either dead or are going to die

    True story

    Actually, 100% of all people will die, regardless of what they eat! I don't care what's in them...if I see one, I'll eat it. I like to live dangerously...cuz that's how I roll.

    Now this made my day :)
    No joke gets by this guy

    He's like a Joke Dreamcatcher
  • cmcollins001
    cmcollins001 Posts: 3,472 Member
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    100% of people who eat pop tarts are either dead or are going to die

    True story

    REALLY??? :noway: :noway:

    And this whole time I thought I was doing good adding more fruit to my lunches at work!!!

    Awww...crap!!

    557174_10151119996774673_1523540251_n.jpg
  • Akimajuktuq
    Akimajuktuq Posts: 3,037 Member
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    You know, the shock-and-awe propaganda always amuses me. Why do people honestly believe that marketers would put deadly, toxic, caustic, carcinogenic, or other chemicals in food?

    THEY WANT YOU TO BUY MORE PRODUCT!

    If they poison you, then you will either:

    A) Die! And not buy more product

    or

    B) Somehow link said poisoning and subsequent adverse affects back to them and SUE THE **** out of them!





    Why do people never use their brains????? :noway:

    Apparently you are one of the people not "using your brain". Award granted for most ignorant comment. I get the humour of this thread, sort of, but I'm glad I don't live in a bubble of unawareness and/or apathy.
  • Zylahe
    Zylahe Posts: 772 Member
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    Apples have cyanide in them AHHHHHHH no apples!! Just because they have common ingredient does not mean that they are the same. Do you know how many poisons contain the evil dreaded water?
    I thoughtbjust yhe pips ?
  • BR3ANDA
    BR3ANDA Posts: 622 Member
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    I always wondered why the toilet looked so sparkly clean after I purged that carton of poptarts I binged on.
  • Nanadena
    Nanadena Posts: 739 Member
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    Well I have always know that french fries are made of sawdust!
  • TourThePast
    TourThePast Posts: 1,753 Member
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    Apples have cyanide in them AHHHHHHH no apples!! Just because they have common ingredient does not mean that they are the same. Do you know how many poisons contain the evil dreaded water?

    Cyanide is actually in the seeds, not sure how many people like the munch on apple seeds though :P
    Almonds & sweet apricot kernels are seeds, both contain cyanide, both of which I'll happily munch by the handful, thanks! :bigsmile:
  • MiCool90
    MiCool90 Posts: 460 Member
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    Imagine all the contamination in the air... everyone hold their breath!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

    gwb+holding+breath.jpg
  • Aello11
    Aello11 Posts: 312 Member
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    Anyone else on the Pop Tart Cleanse(tm) experiencing hallucinations, pregnancy in men and/or temporary death?

    If this doesn't improve I'm calling my Chinese herbalist next week
    I haven't experienced any of these symptoms, but I have had an erection lasting for 4 hours or longer. IS this normal?

    As long as you and your partner are enjoying it :wink:
  • jeleclekat
    jeleclekat Posts: 124 Member
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    Is this for real? because my son loves loves loves his pop tarts :( I'm officially freaked out!

    I know they're not the best for you and contain more sugar than a donut.. (took this two day nutrition class and the lady teaching it said that) but I didn't think they were that crazy ridiculously bad for ya

    l'm very gulliable so dont mess with me ahah

    fake as can be. Your son is quite safe. That is unless the FDA hasn't heard of it, or has a threat against humanity
  • klacount77
    klacount77 Posts: 270 Member
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    YAAAAHHHOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

    This is the best news I've gotten all week!
    Doctor ordered a colon cleanse for me on Monday, today I learn I can get that with Blueberry pop tarts!
    On Tuesday, my sons' put a hole in the hallway door and my husband comes home tomorrow ... SOLUTION? Blueberry poptarts!
    Wednesday my windshield was splattered with debris from a fertilizer (manure) truck. I tried to use the wipers but made it worse. Now I realize I should have used Blueberry pop tarts!
    Had to figure out to make the last roll of toilet paper last until payday and now I hear that Blueberry pop tarts; along with all of the other amazing things it can do, will not only fill my children's bellies but will keep them clean til payday!

    Thank so much!!! I am off to the store to purchase as many Blueberry Pop Tarts as I can before word gets out and they're all gone!

    <jumps in air and clicks heels in excitement>

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