how to stay on track when so sad

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tamba01
tamba01 Posts: 110 Member
in Motivation and Support
well it was one week ago today that dad passed away. I have not been doing good on eating or exercising. It seems like junk, junk and more junk is my temporary soother. But I know that my dad would always tell me how proud he was of me becuz I was eating good and exercising. Now I feel like I am disappointing myself and my dad. He was so sick, so so very sick. But what little his body would let him do, he would push hard and do it. Usually that was walking up the steps with two canes. He would then eat and go back to bed. That is the most he could do. He even had to stop midway up the steps to catch his breath. He used to tell me that he wished he had "listened to his body" earlier. He wished he had taken better care of himself. But I know that he pushed himself every day that he was alive and never complained. So Thursday we had the funeral, It still doesn't seem real. Friday was my birthday and I didn;t get that call from my dad wishing me happy birthday and telling me that he loved me. Oh how I missed having that calll. So I need to get myself together and "listen to my body" But I have no energy to do anything but cry. I need to start thinking like my dad did, but I don't know that I have it in me. It is so very hard knowing that I will never hear his voice or see him again.
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Replies

  • NuggetLovesEdie
    NuggetLovesEdie Posts: 477 Member
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    I'm so sorry for your loss.

    Its so fresh right now.
  • MyPaperBleedsInk
    MyPaperBleedsInk Posts: 240 Member
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    Whenever i'm sad, depressed, or incredibly upset... I actually try to resort to exercise instead of food. Mainly because I know with exercise, my feelings will come out. Instead of hiding them by shoving food in, I'm bawling my eyes out as I walk/run. And I do feel better afterwards.
  • tamba01
    tamba01 Posts: 110 Member
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    thank you... it is very fresh
  • SamosaurusRex
    SamosaurusRex Posts: 56
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    Do what you know will make him proud. Work hard and stay fit as if he's right beside you, telling you that you're doing the right thing.

    So sorry for your loss. Stay strong and keep going.
  • brittamh
    brittamh Posts: 137 Member
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    Sorry for your loss:(
  • tamba01
    tamba01 Posts: 110 Member
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    I did walk alittle today and cried alot, but my energy is just not there TYhank you for your post, when I get sad I will re-read your post
  • pipjiggles
    pipjiggles Posts: 6
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    I am so sorry for your loss.

    My gut response is give yourself time to process and grieve. Surround yourself with people that will cry with you and comfort you.

    Celebrate his life.

    You will get back on track so don't beat yourself up about it!!!!
  • linmartermarros
    linmartermarros Posts: 8 Member
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    Yes, you will hear his voice again - over and over in the little things that he always told you. And, know that your Dad is always with you - he did wish you a happy birthday in your heart. He is so proud of you taking care of yourself. Be patient with the grief, it is difficult and your heart, mind and body need to grieve.
  • jfan175
    jfan175 Posts: 812 Member
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    So sorry to hear about your loss. You've got more important things to deal with right now. The grieving process takes time, and that's where your energy should be focused once the business aspects of losing a parent are taken care of. It's a shame that there's so much to do when you really need the time for yourself. My thoughts and prayers are with you. Your MFP friends will be here when you're ready to jump back in.
  • jonibc
    jonibc Posts: 104 Member
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    I am so sorry. My dad died several years ago in January. I feel like I sat on the couch in a pair of fleece pants and ate constantly all winter. But, you're already on the site and doing the work and you know your dad wants that for you. Try to stock up on lowfat cheese, Greek yogurt, precut veggies, almond coconut milk, popcorn, all the lowfat, easy snacks you can think of so you can grab them and munch without harming yourself. Keep your food diary. Take walks and think about happy times with your dad. Grief comes in waves. When it washes over you, let the tears come. But, when the wave is passed, come up for air and do what's good for you. Do it for him. Big hugs!
  • Erindipitous
    Erindipitous Posts: 1,234 Member
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    I'm very sorry for your loss. :(

    Even if you don't feel you have energy to exercise, definitely try to get out and go for walks often.. Keeping yourself busy like that will keep you from turning to junk, and it's a great way to let yourself accept and grieve -- And it's perfectly okay to cry while you're out walking. This is an important time to focus on your mental and physical health.. You are very vulnerable, as it is very recent.

    He will always be with you and looking after you. *Hugs*
  • sarahg148
    sarahg148 Posts: 701 Member
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    I buried my dad 2 months and 2 days ago. I know what you are feeling. It STILL isn't real and I've yet to go to his grave. I probably won't for a VERY long time. My birthday is in 25 days and I won't see him either...it's still so surreal. I ate crap for a while, too. Then I felt even worse for weeks after. He died suddenly of heart issues. That will NOT be me. So I pulled myself together and for the past 2 weeks, have focused on eating within my calories and still getting in activity. I can't say when it might get easier...but it will for both of us. :)
  • oneakaqt
    oneakaqt Posts: 14 Member
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    I'm so very sorry that you've lost your dad. I know your heart is broken and you feel sad. That's okay, give yourself time to grieve and time to heal. Your father was proud of you and loved you very much. He knows that it will take time for you to find your feet again, but we all know you will. When you feel strong enough to get back to it, set a fitness goal and a timeline and dedicate your results to your father.
  • totalhealth12
    totalhealth12 Posts: 212 Member
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    I am so sorry for your loss. My mom passed away 4 years ago after having pancreatic cancer for 1-1/2 years. Depression from loss can just make good eating go out the window, I know. Just take 1 day at a time. Log your food every day, even if you overeat, because it will still keep your mind focused your weight goals. Exercise releases those endorphins, so even if you can't do your complete workout, just getting a little exercise, a walk here or there, should help you feel a little better physically. Know that your MFP peeps are here for you. Please feel free to add me as a friend.
  • svelt123
    svelt123 Posts: 173 Member
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    Hi, I am so very sorry for your loss. Take time to grieve. Surround yourself with family and true friends. Cry and then cry some more. Get closer to your faith. Call upon your faith to help you.
    My Mom passed away 3yrs ago. It feels like it was yesterday. Before she passed away I was working out and working a great deal.

    After two weeks, I thought I was ready to get back into my workout routines. (I was wrong) During my grief, I worked out less and less. I was eating junk food and before I knew it. I had packed on 30lbs! My Mom wouldn't be very happy about my gaining weight and not taking better care of myself. During the past 3yrs, I made several attempts to get back into my working out and eating well. It takes time. Only you will know when the grief is passing or not as painful.

    God bless you. Think about what your Dad would want you to do. I believe that He is with you. You will see him again and you will hear is voice again. You will know his spirit. He is in your heart.
    Take care.
  • darbynichols
    darbynichols Posts: 3
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    Lost my wonderful Dad almost 18 months ago. He battled prostate cancer for 3 years, and it was awful. I miss him every single day. As I write this in many ways it still does not seem possible he is gone. I am sorry for your loss and understand your pain.

    Give yourself time and let your heart, mind and body heal from this terrible loss. Right now your grief is to heavy to force yourself into any big choices. Don't beat yourself up over food- it will just create another obstacle. Feed your soul and your body with kindness, healthy food and exercise. Yoga, walking, swimming - stress reducing activities are a good place to start. Take care and get some rest too. Follow your heart.
  • Contrarian
    Contrarian Posts: 8,138 Member
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    Sorry you are coping with this. :(

    Take long walks. They will help you clear your head and burn calories at the same time.
  • tinamwaits
    tinamwaits Posts: 18
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    I know exactly how you feel. My grandmother passed away on September 9th and it was really difficult to stay motivated. I would go to the park and walk and listen to music and cry. It DOES get easier, but it takes time. I'm sorry for your loss and wish you the best :)
  • farmwife3815
    farmwife3815 Posts: 326 Member
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    I am so very sorry for your loss. I lost my Mom 10 years ago. It is a very hard thing. Take the time to grieve. Remember the happy times. Celebrate him. It took me a couple of weeks to feel like rejoining the human race. If your sadness continues or is making life to miserable, please find someone to talk to. Don't try to go through this alone and don't try to be strong. It is ok to cry and it is ok to be sad. Just remember that you still have to take care of you. Again, I am so sorry. In time you will remember all your happy times and you will smile. God bless you.
  • SherryR1971
    SherryR1971 Posts: 1,170 Member
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    I am so sorry for your loss

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