Up late

Starbuck2020
Starbuck2020 Posts: 173 Member
in Chit-Chat
Almost every night my husband stays up late drinking and playing games online. Then once every few weeks I stay up and he floods me with guilt trips. Tonight he made me feel guilty for being on here and watching a show instead of coming to bed early with him. It is bs. I can go to bed without him, but if he goes to bed without me I am being a selfish wife?
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Replies

  • ScatteredThoughts
    ScatteredThoughts Posts: 3,562 Member
    "Turnabout is fair play."

    What does he say if you ask him why he thinks it is alright for him, but not for you?
  • Starbuck2020
    Starbuck2020 Posts: 173 Member
    He just made grunts and shut the door :/ So annoying.
  • imchicbad
    imchicbad Posts: 1,650 Member
    then return the favor. That is bs.
  • mollz007
    mollz007 Posts: 168 Member
    Um, not cool. You are an adult, you can go to bed when you want.
  • katamus
    katamus Posts: 2,363 Member
    Maybe he went to the bedroom early because he wanted nookie...
  • ScatteredThoughts
    ScatteredThoughts Posts: 3,562 Member
    Maybe he went to the bedroom early because he wanted nookie...

    Maybe she wants some on the nights when he feels like staying up late. :)
  • d_Mode
    d_Mode Posts: 880 Member
    He's the one being selfish...
  • Starbuck2020
    Starbuck2020 Posts: 173 Member
    Maybe he went to the bedroom early because he wanted nookie...

    haha no. We have no problem in that department and he knows how to communicate that. This was "throwing a fit" because I was going to stay up without him.
  • Starbuck2020
    Starbuck2020 Posts: 173 Member
    Maybe he went to the bedroom early because he wanted nookie...

    Maybe she wants some on the nights when he feels like staying up late. :)

    For sure! haha
  • vice350z
    vice350z Posts: 1,066 Member
    yeah, you need to have a talk with him about that. If he can do it, then you should be able to do it. Wonder why he gives you a guilt trip...what's he think your'e doing? Maybe he's feeling guilty?
  • Starbuck2020
    Starbuck2020 Posts: 173 Member
    He's the one being selfish...

    Yea that is why I am upset. I just don't understand his logic on this one. It is just plain mean. I tell him to have fun and come to bed when he is ready and all I get is "oh, I see you are too busy to come to bed with your husband. Your more important life on the computer"
  • Starbuck2020
    Starbuck2020 Posts: 173 Member
    yeah, you need to have a talk with him about that. If he can do it, then you should be able to do it. Wonder why he gives you a guilt trip...what's he think your'e doing? Maybe he's feeling guilty?

    He knows or should know I am on MFP and Netflix. Diligently re-watching heroes. haha
  • vice350z
    vice350z Posts: 1,066 Member
    He's the one being selfish...

    Yea that is why I am upset. I just don't understand his logic on this one. It is just plain mean. I tell him to have fun and come to bed when he is ready and all I get is "oh, I see you are too busy to come to bed with your husband. Your more important life on the computer"

    how long you been married?
  • Starbuck2020
    Starbuck2020 Posts: 173 Member
    We have been married a year and a half.
  • magj0y
    magj0y Posts: 1,911 Member
    Almost every night my husband stays up late drinking and playing games online. Then once every few weeks I stay up and he floods me with guilt trips. Tonight he made me feel guilty for being on here and watching a show instead of coming to bed early with him. It is bs. I can go to bed without him, but if he goes to bed without me I am being a selfish wife?


    Keep a log of your guys' sleep pattern, next time he brings it up, say
    "You know, you had a problem with this last time, so I thought I'd do a log on a sleeping patterns for the next time you brought it up. "

    and let him read it. Don't allow him to make you feel guilty, you did nothing wrong!
  • bigwagon52
    bigwagon52 Posts: 30
    I would tell him your a big girl and can go to bed whenever you want. If he can't fall asleep without you go and get him a nuk, it helps my twins sleep.
  • Starbuck2020
    Starbuck2020 Posts: 173 Member
    Almost every night my husband stays up late drinking and playing games online. Then once every few weeks I stay up and he floods me with guilt trips. Tonight he made me feel guilty for being on here and watching a show instead of coming to bed early with him. It is bs. I can go to bed without him, but if he goes to bed without me I am being a selfish wife?


    Keep a log of your guys' sleep pattern, next time he brings it up, say
    "You know, you had a problem with this last time, so I thought I'd do a log on a sleeping patterns for the next time you brought it up. "

    and let him read it. Don't allow him to make you feel guilty, you did nothing wrong!

    That is a good idea.
  • SirRunningShorts
    SirRunningShorts Posts: 77 Member
    Ok... I"m not trying to be the kind of poster that is trying to start trouble. It sounds suspicious. Like maybe he didn't want you staying up because you might check his computer. I wonder what would happen if you stayed up and in the room with him? Last just as long as he does?
  • vice350z
    vice350z Posts: 1,066 Member
    We have been married a year and a half.

    his tomfoolery and shenanigans would annoy the heck outta me. The fact that he can't even give you a straight answer when you ask him why its ok for him but not you is unacceptable. I learned from my divorce that communication is very important.
  • vice350z
    vice350z Posts: 1,066 Member
    Ok... I"m not trying to be the kind of poster that is trying to start trouble. It sounds suspicious. Like maybe he didn't want you staying up because you might check his computer. I wonder what would happen if you stayed up and in the room with him? Last just as long as he does?

    interesting to see if the web browser history is cleared every late night..lol...or if he's smart he uses the incognito window.
  • SoDamnHungry
    SoDamnHungry Posts: 6,998 Member
    Act exactly the same to him when he's up late.
  • SoDamnHungry
    SoDamnHungry Posts: 6,998 Member
    Oh hey, maybe he's afraid of the dark and is afraid to sleep without you. But he's too embarrassed to tell you!

    I have single handedly saved your marriage. You're welcome.
  • SirRunningShorts
    SirRunningShorts Posts: 77 Member
    Ok... I"m not trying to be the kind of poster that is trying to start trouble. It sounds suspicious. Like maybe he didn't want you staying up because you might check his computer. I wonder what would happen if you stayed up and in the room with him? Last just as long as he does?

    interesting to see if the web browser history is cleared every late night..lol...or if he's smart he uses the incognito window.
    incognito window aka lack of browsing history for the HOURS he is awake.
  • vice350z
    vice350z Posts: 1,066 Member
    Act exactly the same to him when he's up late.

    eh, i hear what your saying but that wont really accomplish anything. I'd pretty much just tell him "STFU, you stay up late and I don't say jack to you...deal with it, hun"....but that probably wouldn't accomplish anything either.

    On a related note I am a big abuser of the "...."
  • Starbuck2020
    Starbuck2020 Posts: 173 Member
    Ok... I"m not trying to be the kind of poster that is trying to start trouble. It sounds suspicious. Like maybe he didn't want you staying up because you might check his computer. I wonder what would happen if you stayed up and in the room with him? Last just as long as he does?

    I can see your point. That isn't the case though. He is legitimately a nerd. He plays online games and drinks. If it was something suspicious I wouldn't be as upset because then I would have something to understand and work with, but this is just plain stupid. haha
  • vice350z
    vice350z Posts: 1,066 Member
    Ok... I"m not trying to be the kind of poster that is trying to start trouble. It sounds suspicious. Like maybe he didn't want you staying up because you might check his computer. I wonder what would happen if you stayed up and in the room with him? Last just as long as he does?

    interesting to see if the web browser history is cleared every late night..lol...or if he's smart he uses the incognito window.
    incognito window aka lack of browsing history for the HOURS he is awake.

    aka "i don't want my wife finding out I look at porn" mode.
  • Starbuck2020
    Starbuck2020 Posts: 173 Member
    Oh hey, maybe he's afraid of the dark and is afraid to sleep without you. But he's too embarrassed to tell you!

    I have single handedly saved your marriage. You're welcome.

    Hilarious :) thanks hehe
  • Starbuck2020
    Starbuck2020 Posts: 173 Member
    Ok... I"m not trying to be the kind of poster that is trying to start trouble. It sounds suspicious. Like maybe he didn't want you staying up because you might check his computer. I wonder what would happen if you stayed up and in the room with him? Last just as long as he does?

    interesting to see if the web browser history is cleared every late night..lol...or if he's smart he uses the incognito window.
    incognito window aka lack of browsing history for the HOURS he is awake.

    aka "i don't want my wife finding out I look at porn" mode.

    I watch more porn than he does. lol
  • vice350z
    vice350z Posts: 1,066 Member
    Ok... I"m not trying to be the kind of poster that is trying to start trouble. It sounds suspicious. Like maybe he didn't want you staying up because you might check his computer. I wonder what would happen if you stayed up and in the room with him? Last just as long as he does?

    I can see your point. That isn't the case though. He is legitimately a nerd. He plays online games and drinks. If it was something suspicious I wouldn't be as upset because then I would have something to understand and work with, but this is just plain stupid. haha

    Not that I want to open a can of worms...but is it once in a while drinking or every night drinking? That right there could be a problem.
  • vice350z
    vice350z Posts: 1,066 Member
    Ok... I"m not trying to be the kind of poster that is trying to start trouble. It sounds suspicious. Like maybe he didn't want you staying up because you might check his computer. I wonder what would happen if you stayed up and in the room with him? Last just as long as he does?

    interesting to see if the web browser history is cleared every late night..lol...or if he's smart he uses the incognito window.
    incognito window aka lack of browsing history for the HOURS he is awake.

    aka "i don't want my wife finding out I look at porn" mode.

    I watch more porn than he does. lol

    and he rather stay up late playing games alone??? haha.

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