Why is it the more weight I lose the fatter I feel?

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helyg
helyg Posts: 675 Member
in Motivation and Support
I have lost 2 stone (210lbs to 181lbs) and gone down 2 dress sizes (UK20 to UK16). But I feel more self conscious now about how I look than when I started :frown:

I know I still have a lot of weight to lose - ideally I want to lose another 2 stone - but shouldn't I be feeling more positive about the weight I have lost?
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Replies

  • MrsSWW
    MrsSWW Posts: 1,590 Member
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    A friend and I have had a similar conversation (I've lost approx 3 stone, size 16-18 to size 12-14). My theory is that when I was bigger I just felt like a blob, an entire sphere of blob-dom. Now I've lost some weight I have a defined waist, collar bones, shapely shoulders... but still have the blobby bits. BitS. Instead of one blobby BIT I have blobby BITS!! More numerous than before. Where I hated the one body I now hate numerous parts of the body :grumble:

    That's my theory anyway :drinker:
  • AmberJo1984
    AmberJo1984 Posts: 1,067 Member
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    I don't have this problem... at least not yet. I've lost 36 pounds total (in over a year) -- 12 pounds in a month. It's a good amount... but, still so much more left. Right now, I love the compliments I'm already getting... but, I still can't stand to look in the mirror.
  • Overboard_Eater
    Overboard_Eater Posts: 105 Member
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    I found the same thing happened to me. I contribute it to honestly looking at my body more. I never truly saw how big I had gotten. There weren't a specific area as much as a fat suit over my entire body. As that fat melted away certain areas lost more than others. I could finally really see how much weight I had padded my frame with and it made me even more critical. Taking pictures and looking at your progress will help fight these feelings. Focus on the journey and not the layovers. Good luck!
  • Ashleighkitty
    Ashleighkitty Posts: 49 Member
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    I'm the same. I've lost 3 stone now, but I feel bigger than ever. I know I can't be, but I feel like everyone is looking at me..and like I'm such a blob still. I still have a way to go..I'm just hoping I stop feeling like this soon and actually see my weight loss because in the mirror, I swear I still look the same :( x
  • pinkgumdrop123
    pinkgumdrop123 Posts: 262 Member
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    I felt the same way yesterday when I wore a new smaller pair of jeans. Everyone told me that they looked great but I felt so uncomfortable in them.
  • bokodasu
    bokodasu Posts: 629 Member
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    Dunno, but I was thinking the same thing the other day, and I've lost just a little more than you have so far. The best I could figure out is that I used to totally avoid mirrors - we don't have any in the house, except the medicine cabinet - and when I did see myself, it was just, "oh, there's me." And now I actually pay attention to what's in the mirror, and instead of "yup, there I am," it's "ugh, look at that belly fat" or "gosh those arms are wobbly".

    Which, yeah, is counterproductive. Try putting on old pants, that always cheers me up. :flowerforyou:
  • tidesong
    tidesong Posts: 451 Member
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    I feel the same way. I started (this time) at 235 lbs. I am down to 189 lbs now, and I still feel like a fat blob. I am more self-conscious of how I look, even though I'm dropping sizes like crazy, getting compliments all the time, etc. I don't know why I feel the way I do. I think part of it for me is the flabby skin thing, despite losing the weight, I fear that's always going to be there. Overall in my journey, I'm down about 85 pounds, and sometimes I still feel as fat as I was when I started back then. It's frustrating, and depressing. I look into the mirror, and I honestly cannot see a difference. I see the difference a bit in pictures, but when I look into the mirror, I still am as disgusted looking at myself as I was at my highest weight. :/

    ETA: I did something today to help reassure myself, and it actually helped a little. I keep track of measurements as well as weight. I pulled out the tape measure, and set it to where my waist was when I started at 235, and put it around my waist. Huge gap. Then I did the same thing for my hips. It helped remind me that yes, there's been progress....

    (Always looking for new MFP contacts...if you ever need to/want to vent, I'm here.)
  • kristen6022
    kristen6022 Posts: 1,926 Member
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    The smaller you get, the pickier you get about what parts look like. At my largest I accepted that my butt was huge, my tummy needed work and everything was fatter than it should. But when I lost the 40+ pounds I felt that things should be smaller and tighter, even though they weren't. It's like the sayings "I wish I was a fat as I was when I thought I was fat". When you are thinner, you think you are fat. But when you are actually overweight you just accept it. Our brains are wired oddly!
  • Celeigh12
    Celeigh12 Posts: 763 Member
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    I think it takes a good deal of mentally checking out to gain a significant amount of weight. It's a total disconnect with reality or else we'd have stopped it before it got so out of hand. So now you are paying attention and you are feeling the emotions attached to being fat that you weren't facing before when you were at your highest weight. You are aware of your body in a way you weren't when you gained. Awareness is good, even if you are uncomfortable with what you see. Use those feelings to get you to your goal.
  • yallcallmedeb
    yallcallmedeb Posts: 294
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    I find that I am flabbier now. I'm sure that it's related to my age (47) but the skin isn't tightening up enough. So, while, I don't have any wrinkled skin, I have a belly that shakes like a bowl full of jelly when I jump. I know that the skin will tighten eventually, so I'm just trying to be patient. My clothes fit so much better and I've gone down several sizes in clothes. Overall, I'm happy with my weight loss.
  • lgreen37
    lgreen37 Posts: 196 Member
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    The mind needs to shed negative weight too! LOL!!! Seriously - I had found myself loosing the weight - but not seeing it. I saw myself still fat when in all actuality I'm not. A friend asked me, "Have you ever been fat?" Honey I looked at her like she was crazy and wanted to say, "Heck I still am!" But I took it in stride. As I continue to loose the weight I am having to change the way I see myself. Yes it can be hard - but it can and WILL be done! And you WILL do it and notice YOURSELF that you have. Keep up the great work :)
  • skinnybitchbarbie27
    skinnybitchbarbie27 Posts: 306 Member
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    I think the reason we are all suffering through this is we knew there was a problem before, however, having self pride (like I WAS BORN THIS WAY AND I AM PERFECT) kept us sane. I mean I believe we all felt down and still do, but we have had to strip away everything we thought about ourselves, admit there was a problem and we were flawed, and fight to fix it. I still look in the mirror and see a fat Piece of s**t on some days and on others I see a hot stranger in front of me. Mine comes from not having that self pride I had when I was 330 pounds. I had a hard shell at 330, F- people who called me fat. I was a BBW MODEL. I modeled half naked in lingerie. But you couldn't pay me to do that now. I feel flawed now and until I know I have fixed it I feel like I am not perfect and no one will love me until I am.

    Boom... Lost weight and lost my confidence.
  • shorty35565
    shorty35565 Posts: 1,425 Member
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    I've went from 185 to 123 & I feel fatter now than I ever have :| Idk why it's like tht. It's a disappointing feeling. I haven't got an answer, but I can tell u that ur not alone.
  • zenchild
    zenchild Posts: 680 Member
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    You're paying more attention to your weight now than you were. You're focusing more on how far you still have to go than how far you've already come. Keep going, I noticed a change in my mind-set around the halfway point.
  • mshiesha
    mshiesha Posts: 2
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    Think about losing the weight in a positive way. You will be healthier and this something you are doing for yourself
  • 30theFASTway
    30theFASTway Posts: 7 Member
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    It could be 2 reasons. Usually before we start to lose weight, we're not as aware and honest about our bodies. It's an unpleasant reality and we avoid it. When you start to lose weight, you're in the process of honestly confronting your body and you're taking more notice of it. Thus, you become more self-conscious because you're more conscious of self.

    The second possibility that happens with me is that when I'm losing weight, my mind just races ahead of me. In my mind, I'm already at goal even though my body is 30 pounds away, lol. So when I walk my skinny little booty in front of the mirror and I don't see that skinny little image that's in my mind, it's the same old me, just a few pounds smaller... it upsets me!
  • Angie_1991
    Angie_1991 Posts: 447 Member
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    Somedays I still feel like a fat blob...others I'm sexy and I know it!!!! WOOHOO!!!!
  • MsKeelah919
    MsKeelah919 Posts: 332 Member
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    Celieigh, I LOVE your response. How wonderfully insightful.
  • super_monty
    super_monty Posts: 419 Member
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    I have lost 2 stone (210lbs to 181lbs) and gone down 2 dress sizes (UK20 to UK16). But I feel more self conscious now about how I look than when I started :frown:

    I know I still have a lot of weight to lose - ideally I want to lose another 2 stone - but shouldn't I be feeling more positive about the weight I have lost?

    Because you have started to CARE now and no longer living in DENAIL about being obese? Use it as motivation and keep going until you hit that sweet spot then you will feel great and remain self conscious to help maintenance.


    I went through that feeling



    Great job by the way, well done.
  • jgalauskas
    jgalauskas Posts: 3
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    Thank you for posting this. I was starting to think I was the only one who felt this way!

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