Dieting for Fat Loss/Training for Endurance and Strength

So... just curious about your personal experiences/opinions because I've never really been a fan of the MFP kool-aid where everyone tells you to eat back your exercise calories because i don't think the calculations are accurate or that it takes into account the metabolic difference among individuals, etc.

Background information - I've probably lost around 60 pounds since I decided to get healthy again, coming off a broken tailbone and general awful life circumstances which caused me to gain 40 on top of the 20 I already had hanging around. That was around 2.5 years ago. I have not lost any weight in the past year. I train pretty intensely, 6-7 days a week, 1-2 hours a day. Currently, I am finishing off training for a half marathon that I intend to finish in under two hours. In that, I run around 20 miles a week at a pretty fast clip (7.5-8mph), cross train on elliptical twice a week for a total of 60 minutes or 6 miles, lift heavy weights four days a week in splits of back/biceps, chest/triceps, legs/glutes, shoulders/abs. The weights take anywhere between 60-90 minutes a day and i change up the routines weekly (exercises/weights/sets/reps) to keep my body guessing. I would consider myself an advanced lifter, though know there is always room for improvement. I maxed out at around 205 for deadlifts, 220 for squats, curling 35lbs in each arm, benching around 105 (i've had surgery on my chest muscles, so they are relatively weak), etc. I backed off of max weights about five months ago to try and drop weight for races, since those muscles weigh a lot and slow me down on long runs. I know that being really fast and being really strong are diametrically opposed and work against one another, but I am still determined to have the best of both worlds, so stfu I also do jumps/planks/balanced bodyweight exercise to keep my stabilizing muscles strong.

Current stats, I am 31, 5'5, 153lbs and between 24-25% body fat. I would like to be at 140 and well muscled, but my goal right now is to get to 145. Ideally, I could get my body fat to around 19%.

I try to eat around 1500 calories a day but it is usually more like 1600-1700. all of the calculators i see say i should be eating more around 2000. I've done 1800 before and gained muscle, but didn't really lose any fat. it's hard for me to commit to eating that much on a diet, but i am also curious because it seems like half of the girls i know shoot for around 1200 and the other half eat around 1800 on a regular basis and the majority are leaner than me.

My diet is generally light on gluten and processed foods - I do supplement with protein powder, but as a general rule, I eat plants, meat, limited grains in their basic form, some legumes, healthy oils/fats in moderation. I do love to drink, but i only do so if I have the calories available. Plus I've given it up completely in the past for 4+ weeks at a time and didn't see much of a difference. I try to keep my macros at 40/40/20, but realistically they end up being more like 30/40/30 (p/c/f) The best success I ever had was cutting all gluten, dairy, oats, soy, alcohol but it was difficult to get enough protein to fuel my muscle growth and enough simple carbs to fuel my endurance work so my athleticism stalled although i lost some weight.

Oh and yes I've worn a heart rate monitor in the past - I have a quicker than average heart so it always had me burning 25% more than it would have most people burning. And I've had the RMR breath metabolic testing done, which indicated that I had a very high metabolic rate, could maintain at between 2275-2956 calories a day and that i was burning 3240 calories a day. As someone who's always been chubby and always struggled to stay trim, I seriously doubt that these numbers are in any way accurate. Science is not on my side.

what do you think?