so sad....

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HannahK08
HannahK08 Posts: 35 Member
in Health and Weight Loss
So, Im 23 and almost 300lbs... I dont want to hit that... I try everything.. I dont know what is wrong with me or my brain? I can go strong for a week or 2 and then I quit... whats wrong with me?? Im usually very social and outgoing.. and I feel myself becoming very angry at people and sad and crying often.. and now to top it off.. my husband would rather watch porn than be with me... I dont know what to do :( Im sorry if I sound like a cry baby.. I know most of you will tell me to quit whining and do something... I just feel defeated.
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Replies

  • Arwaxx
    Arwaxx Posts: 113 Member
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    NO! dont give up... u r young and beautiful and before u start working on your outer look, u must feel good in the inside.. dont worry. in fitness pals, u will get so much support and im one of them.. i'm always online... so whenever ur about to cheat,,, talk about it... i went on a pizza week fiasco, gained 500g and cried my *kitten* off.. but moving on.. be strong.. ill add u now xx
  • wwmorrow
    wwmorrow Posts: 118 Member
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    You have to make the first step. It's easy to sit on the couch eating potato chips wishing you could lose some weight...I know! Just commit. Log your food here everyday. It will start to come off!
  • TavistockToad
    TavistockToad Posts: 35,719 Member
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    I can go strong for a week or 2 and then I quit... whats wrong with me??

    why do you quit? think about that, and how you can overcome it, and DO IT!!!!
  • Nix143
    Nix143 Posts: 522 Member
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    Baby steps honey. When everything looks awful and undoable, when your total weight loss seems like a mountain to climb, when life is kicking you in the proverbials - baby steps.

    You're here and that's the first one.
    Come here every day - step 2
    Log everything you eat no matter what - step 3
    Start trying to make SOME healthier choices - step 4
    Maybe eat some more veggies - etc etc etc
    Gor for a walk with the squiddlybobs...
    Etc etc

    Hard as it is to hear right now you didn't wake you this morning having put on the weight overnight and you're not going to lose it overnight - or in a fortnight. It'll take a little time but hey, that's ok, we're not going anywhere, you're not going anywhere, lets settle down and see what happens.

    Take care of yourself, be gentle with yourself and understand deep deep down inside you that you can do this and you deserve to be happy.

    Good luck X
  • prettygirlstorm1
    prettygirlstorm1 Posts: 722 Member
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    Losing weight is hard. I thought I was going to die when I hit 200lbs. It sounds like you what to make a change but don't know where to start. Every day is a new day take advantage of the opportunities. Log your food, try to get a little exercise and join us. This site is great for motivation and support. It is a journey but we will be there with you. Feel free to add me as a friend. Good luck
  • nikteazer2
    nikteazer2 Posts: 42 Member
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    You are not alone, there is nothing wrong with you! I used to be the same and many many other people have the same problems, the thing is though, it is like giving up smoking, the longer you keep it up the fewer the cravings become! If yo can keep going past that two week wall that you hit you will find it easier and easier, there is tons of help and support on here.

    You really do need to make complete changes in your lifestyle, eating habits and attitude to food to make a lasting change. But if you keep at it, eventually it becomes a natural way of life and in my case...a healthy addiction!!! Xxx
  • mumof5
    mumof5 Posts: 328 Member
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    it is sad, really sad. i think you need some help - not with your diet with your mind. you sound really depressed, maybe you need to talk to someone. once you start sorting your mind out you can start sorting your diet out!! keep in mind that this is not a journey to loose weight, its a journey to a better, healthier, happier life. YOU are worth the fight, You are worth the time it will take, YOU ARE WORTH all the happiness that comes with living a healthier life.
  • jc438
    jc438 Posts: 3
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    There is nothing worng with you! our brains are built to see food and eat it just in case we don't get our meal next. It ends up being a viscious cycle because you gian a little weight, feel rubbish, eat to feel better gain a bit more weight and then feel even worse. before you know it you feel rubbish all the time. The only person who can help you is you and other people on here are right, you have made the first step and said you don't like feeling like this. Brilliant. It's not about all or nothing or staying strong because if you then eat something extra you automatically feel 'weak' it's about little and often and not giving up. It's hard for people to lose weight and hard for people to stay a healthy weight but it's also hard to give up food when it makes you feel better (even if it is only short-term)! Good Luck! x
  • Amberonamission
    Amberonamission Posts: 836 Member
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    Exercise will make you fell so much better. And in a very short amount of time. Strap on your sneakers and start walking.
  • crystalbluewolf13
    crystalbluewolf13 Posts: 197 Member
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    So, Im 23 and almost 300lbs... I dont want to hit that... I try everything.. I dont know what is wrong with me or my brain? I can go strong for a week or 2 and then I quit... whats wrong with me?? Im usually very social and outgoing.. and I feel myself becoming very angry at people and sad and crying often.. and now to top it off.. my husband would rather watch porn than be with me... I dont know what to do :( Im sorry if I sound like a cry baby.. I know most of you will tell me to quit whining and do something... I just feel defeated.

    i wish i knew how to make it better hun. im in a simular boat tbh. no matter how hard i try i struggle to lose weight. have you spoken to your gp at all? you sound very down and depressed which isnt a good road to go down (ive been a sufferer for 12 years so i should know lol) is there anyway of talking to your husband about things or a friend? feel free to message me if you want as well =) im always happy to listen if you need it. hope things get better hun x *sending big hugs*
  • Koldnomore
    Koldnomore Posts: 1,613 Member
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    First..your husband would watch porn even if you were slender. The fact that he blows you off to do it ..THIS is HIS problem, not yours. Don't make yourself responsible for his 'infidelities'. You gained 100 lbs bearing HIS children. You have moved yourself across the world to raise them.. the least he could do is show you a little respect by not doing that in front of you (or instead of you).

    There has to be a reason for YOU to want to lose weight, not to 'make your husband happy'. Until you have a reason that resonates to your soul, it will be hard to stick to. When you find that reason then nothing will be able to stop you!. Yes, it's hard..but we are all here to help you. Take advantage of the support you can find here to make little changes (baby steps!). It gets easier, but don't try to change EVERYTHING all at once.. maybe this is why you give up?
  • StephDuffney
    StephDuffney Posts: 51 Member
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    You need to find out what will get you to do it. My last straw was when dh told me I had 1 year to lose the weight or i was out the door. He dose not what to see me die at 40.

    I started out at 324 and down 10 pounds in two weeks. I work my back side off 5 days a week in the gym just to lose those 10 pounds.
  • AJ_Pete
    AJ_Pete Posts: 863 Member
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    Alright, for me, feeling defeated wasn't enough to do something because when you feel defeated, you have no fight in you. You have to feel sick of feeling defeated.... you have to feel like there is no other option. I'm sorry, but you may have to hit 300 before it becomes something that REALLY affects you to the point that you're FINALLY ready to tackle it. There has to be a fire lit within you to do this.

    Don't think of it as a HUGE task to lose this weight. Baby steps. Drink only water.... take walks.... make small changes until you're 100% mentally ready.
  • acstansell
    acstansell Posts: 567 Member
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    I understand - I was there too. 281 at 30 years old. But I didn't hit my breaking point.

    Have you? If you have, then you get pissed off at yourself enough that you make the commitment and you find the motivation to stick to it. And it becomes second nature.

    So, think about that - if you've hit the breaking point. If you feel you have -ask yourself what you're afraid of? The work, the commitment? The change that you will have to commit to?

    Once you figure that out, you won't stop... nothing will stop you.
  • gdrmuzak
    gdrmuzak Posts: 103 Member
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    You mention 2 issues that need to be addressed separately. First, your weight - only you can do something about that. There are two kinds of pain...that which hurts and that which changes. What do you want? MFP is a great tool to use because it's easy and straight forward...make it a game. As someone else mentioned, find out why you decide to quit. Your food and lack of discipline is a symptom of something inside, face it.

    Second, your husband's issue is a separate issue. You could lose as much weight as you want and that won't change what's going on in him so don't "put that monkey on your back". He needs to face it by himself and you both need to face it as a couple since it's hurting your relationship.
  • msbunnie68
    msbunnie68 Posts: 1,894 Member
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    It may help you to start out slower - bring your weight loss target in to something more tangible and make it one that you can reach in a reasonable amount of time - try aiming for something like 10 pounds in 12 weeks or an amount you think you can handle. Hitting that 10 pounds will be such an achievement. Then rejig your goals for another 10 or 15. Give yourself small concrete steps. Break down your weight loss goal so it doesn't seem so overwhelming to you. Reaching a goal gives you reward. Reward builds self esteem. Instead of seeing your weightloss as a hill to battle up make it a staircase with your goal to achieve the next step not the whole flight all at once.

    Hugs x
  • AlsDonkBoxSquat
    AlsDonkBoxSquat Posts: 6,128 Member
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    Sounds to me like you need to pair your new desired lifestyle with some therapy. You're in a self destructive cycle and need help in overcoming it. You aren't going to find your answers on here, only within yourself, and you have to be in a place where you really want the answers. I also suggest you find a challenge group on here for support, most challenges go anywhere from 4 - 8 weeks and you're teamed up with up to 8 people. It offers a really nice community of support.
  • Amo_Angelus
    Amo_Angelus Posts: 604 Member
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    When you feel like giving up, keep going! Add me for support if you wish.
  • lavieboheme1229
    lavieboheme1229 Posts: 448 Member
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    I think the problem a lot of people think is that they have to be perfect starting from day one. and after a week or two, perfection becomes overwhelming and they become unable to keep it up. So they throw their hands in the air and say "Screw it all!".

    But here is the thing about maintainable weight loss. It is NOT a black and white situation. There is a whole hell of a lot of grey area when it comes to "what can I eat today". That is the beauty of MFP. You have a budget of 1600 calories. Pretend that's cash. You have $1600 in your bank account to spend on what you need today. Are you going to by 16 pairs of $100 shoes (veggies) 8 pairs of $200 shoes (bread) or one pair of $1600 diamond studded, the most beautiful shoes you have ever seen in your life (a whole bag of potato chips)? (I like shoes :))

    Your first thought may be the whole bag of potato chips. Fine, have that be your decision. But then you realize those shoes only go with one outfit, and you can't wear the same pair of shoes for the rest of your life, and you're hungry! So the next day, you make different food decisions. And then you learn different things you can make, small substitutions you can make in your recipes. And before you know it, you can have a serving of chips, and still not ruin your whole day.

    Then the weight starts falling off. You feel better about yourself, your clothes are looser. You have more energy. And then you think, you know what, I'm going for a walk this afternoon! And you do, and walking leads to workout DVDs and weights, and biking, and maybe even running.

    Now you are really feeling better about yourself. You start hiking on the weekend, going for family bike rides. You try and do situps during commercials when watching TV. You don't watch as much TV as you used to. Certain foods make sick to your stomach now. You are stronger. You have more self confidence. You stand up straighter.

    And TADA! Your whole lifestyle has changed for the better. It all doesn't happen at once. And it isn't perfect. But you need to be able to do this FOR EVER! You are marrying the idea of being fit and healthy. It needs to become part of who you are.

    Be strong and good luck. Every single time you take a bite, you have the ability to make a new decision about your health.
  • traveller888
    traveller888 Posts: 79 Member
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    Don't quit! You can do it. You look like a great person and it just takes time. Just set your goals low at the beginning and let your body and mind get used to it. I'm so the person that wants to lose it and quickly, but slow and steady wins the race. Also treat yourself! Try a mini goal to cut out something and reward yourself with something you like (that's at least somewhat good for you). When you reach the goal, smile and feel good about getting that treat!

    Remember, this is not a "diet" that you go on and then are done. This is your diet of food and your lifestyle. It takes awhile to change something like that.

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