Is it terrible that when my husband...

I think your husband deserves your full uninvited attention. I agree with the people who said if you can't concentrate, to tell them and have have them come back to you in X amount of time to continue. I tell my boyfriend all the time, "I don't understand what you're saying because my mind is really elsewhere. Let me clear my head, then we can talk about whatever it is you're talking about."

Did make any of these faces?

You're being very rude to your husband. He's taking the time to confide in his partner about his day. The person that he should be able to confide in.

Yeah, but who cares about the minutiae? If I started babbling to my husband about a frustration with an animation not coming to life the way I envisioned, or some bit of code that was giving me trouble on a website, his eyes would gloss over and he'd definitely ignore me. And vice versa. I don't give a damn about the trivialities of his job either. Unless you work in the same field, it's pretty boring and/or completely irrelevant.

We talk about work only if something really importand happenned. If not it goes like this ..me : "How was work today"..Him : "eh nothing interesting, yours?"

I don't think so. I do this too and my husband is aware that I'm not listening. But it's still therapeutic for him to tell me about his day regardless if I'm listening or not He doesn't care. I still pretend to listen!

I think that's why I didn't stop him. I wanted to. But, I had this feeling like maybe it didn't matter if I was or wasn't listening. He just needed to rant and rave.

We weren't trying to solve a specific problem that needed my full attention.

Maybe ask him if he just needs to vent or actually have someone listen.

Work is boring. Of course, your thesis probably is too.

You mention that you two discuss your thesis. He may be feeling the same way and worried about his mind wandering as you discuss your thesis.

My husband and I do this to each other, too; him with fantasy football (who CARES?!) and his job and me with my exercise/ fitness babble and job. It happens. We can't all be attentive all the time.

Even so, I KNOW he is not listening sometimes but I still get upset if he doesn't remember me telling him something while I was running my mouth... even if it really wasn't that important :ohwell:

It happens...I do it to my children all the time, and I always cop to it and say, "I'm sorry I wasn't listening, tell me again" and then I work hard to hear what they are trying to say. Sometimes, if it has been a really rough day, like today, I'll just tell them, "I'm sorry it was a rough day today and I need to chill, can we talk about it after I've had some downtime?" They understand, and I hope I'm teaching them skills that will serve them when they are in the same position.

So, I'd advise coming clean...you're asking so you must truly care about your husband's day...you don't want to miss out on really showing you care...and he could be hurt if he figures it out....just saying.

Gosh, I should point out that every other time I have no trouble having a conversation about his work. I find it very interesting. It was just yesterday, I simply couldn't follow the conversation at all. But, I didn't know what to do. It was a bit surreal to be honest.

I would've just told him "Honey, you're doing my head in. Can we talk about this another day/in 10 mins/in never?"

Or if it were my boyfriend and I "Do you need me to pay attention to you or do you just want me to pretend like I'm listening when I'm not?"

There are plenty of times I've gone up to my boyfriend and just said to him "I don't want any commentary, don't try to fix this. Just act like you're listening and I'll let you know when I'm done." And then I proceed to rant and rave about what's angered me that day and then I'll tap him on the shoulder, give him a kiss, thank him for listening and then move on:)

Like.

You're being very rude to your husband. He's taking the time to confide in his partner about his day. The person that he should be able to confide in.

Yeah, but who cares about the minutiae? If I started babbling to my husband about a frustration with an animation not coming to life the way I envisioned, or some bit of code that was giving me trouble on a website, his eyes would gloss over and he'd definitely ignore me. And vice versa. I don't give a damn about the trivialities of his job either. Unless you work in the same field, it's pretty boring and/or completely irrelevant.

This ^^^^ when my husband worked in a field I knew nothing about I just smiled and nodded.... he did the same with me... now we work for the same company doing slightly different things and our conversations are a little different I'm actually listening and commenting and vice versa.

However per your last comment I assume you were just drunk and that's why you were doing that :bigsmile: :drinker:

Hell, my mind wanders in conversation with most people. I just don't care... That doesn't mean I don't like them, of course.

In the middle of typing that sentence I went to go read something else...

I think I love you

I have to lift my shirt every 3 minutes for my husband to pay attention:)

And I will keep this in mind next time I really need my husband to pay attention....thanks for the tip!