Is it terrible that when my husband...

My mind drifts too when my husband shares his day and he's caught me. I'm seriously working on it. My mind is mush after I get home from work and commuting a couple of hours a day so I try so hard to pay attention.

Ditto. It's something I noticed about a month ago, and I've been trying really hard to focus more when he talks. One of the first problems that was easy to solve: he sometimes wants to start talking while we're watching a DVD. :huh: Okay...kinda hard to focus, sweetie... So I've started pausing the DVD whenever he starts talking about anything that's not what we're watching. It significantly improves my focus, and I think it also helps him realize that I am TRYING to be a better listener. I got the impression once that it annoys him when I do it, but it annoys me when people have random conversations during a movie, so that's just something we'll have to compromise on by doing it my way

And as someone else said, I'm a SOOOOO easily distracted when on the phone! Since we live very close and see each other fairly often, I've just gotten to the point where I try to limit our phone conversations to things like when/where we're meeting, what's for dinner, etc.

I think your husband deserves your full uninvited attention.

but if it's uninvited, then it shouldn't be there...it's a very exclusive event, you know...

I am always rude to my Husband, if what he wants to say to me is interesting to me I listen, and if its not I wander off or yawn and look at my watch.

"always rude to my husband" ??? :huh:

I know this thread is just for fun...but why is basic courtesy during communication so difficult? why is that rude people can get husbands and I can't even get a date (and yes, when I've been in relationships in the past I have made an effort to listen to someone...it's common courtesy. If the guy's that boring that you're wandering off or yawning or looking at your watch, I guess I'm wondering why are you with the person?)

I guess I better get rid of my normally decent listening skills in order to catch me a man LOL.

Shaking head...

I am fabulously sexy, funny, flexible and insatiable in the sack...this is the answer to your question

oh and I have a great sense of humour and hand cuffs

You sure you're not a man lol?? I have to lift my shirt every 3 minutes for my husband to pay attention:)

Im lucky, my husband doesnt talk much.

lol...that's funny and kinda true! lol

Sorry, what were you saying?

ahahah Good One

I never understand why people come home and talk about work.
I always had a good understanding with my significant other... Unless it's a funny story or you need advice... I really don't want to hear about work and I won't complain about people at my work to you either.

I like my home being a positive place LOL.

Agreed! My husband will start ranting about technical military computer junk and it goes WAY over my head. Especially when he starts naming off acronyms and computer jargon. I work in IT as well but not in the computer fixing part so it's not something I even have a clue about, LOL. I am straight up with my husband though and tell him I have no idea what he's talking about. I will crack jokes about his work from time to time as that is fun but we don't go indepth about anything. My job is the same way... I only talk to him about weird coworkers or customers I've had interactions with or my work schedule.

Smile and Nod throw in a "you are so right" -- you've done your part

This is great all of you made my night lol! And don't worry I bet he need to vent after work. I won't worry long as it not a nightly thing you do. Sometime after a very mental day it is hard to pay attention to everything going on you brain is already working on overtime. Hope this helps you and thanks again for the laugh everyone made my night!

I love my partner and we've been together a long time, but he has a tendency to go on and on. It is amazing how oblivious he can be - totally aware that I am too exhausted/distracted/whatever to pay full attention. I don't think I'm a bad spouse in admitting this - I do pay attention to all the important stuff, but I just can't give 100% when the conversation centers around the plot of a long art film I'll never see, the methods he used to build our new shelving (in detail), etc. When I start going on about work, he cuts me off in a minute! So - we're even

So in other words, you're saying you are married?
Join the club.

You sure you're not a man lol?? I have to lift my shirt every 3 minutes for my husband to pay attention:)

Im lucky, my husband doesnt talk much.

I'm impressed by your wisdom. I'll add that if you increase the lift frequency the attention from your husband will increase exponentially

Is it terrible that when my husband is talking to me about work, my mind drifts in and out of the conversation?

Context: I've had a long day of study, we discuss my thesis, have our dinner, go back to study, then watch t.v. for 40min just to unwind before bedtime.

Sitting on the living room floor with a glass of wine in my hand, and he starts talking to me. My mind drifts in and out of his spiel and I catch bits and pieces of what he's saying "risk.... legislation.... idiots..... the system.... the client.... numbers... there's no connection between this framework and what the other consultants are working on...."

All the while my mind drifts in and out. I smile when he smiles, nod assent when he checks that I'm listening.

What is the polite thing to do when you're clearly not listening for whatever reason. Do you let a person do their thing because maybe they need to vent, or should you admit that you're simply not listening.

I do this all the time except I freely admit when I haven't been listening by saying something like, "Sorry, I totally spaced on that, what?" Truthfully, you can only hear the same rants so many times before they start to sound like the teacher from Peanuts.

I smile and nod and try to act interested. If I am truly not there and can not get there I let him know. I do need to say though that my husband does the exact same to me. Minus the smile. He will just full out say hey I'm watching tv and don't really care right now. So I figure this has given me the cart blanche to do the same on my bad days.