Would you stay in a relationship if?

24

Replies

  • jboccio90
    jboccio90 Posts: 644 Member
    there is more to a relationship then just having sex?
  • notAfan
    notAfan Posts: 42 Member
    Ask your self and your partner what you want from the relationship. Over time, sex changes. If you are in a relationship for great sex, the relationship may not last. If you support each other's goals and dreams, if you sync over recreational pursuits, if you share values and spiritual principles, then there is a good chance the relationship will last through a shakey period of crumby sex.

    Great answer!
  • pickledginger
    pickledginger Posts: 172
    Is he trainable?

    This! A lot of what constitutes good sex can be taught, partner willing. The process can be educational and adventurous and great fun for all concerned.

    (Partner *not* willing, sex may be the least of your priblems.)

    If he/she isn't willing, how do you get him/her to be interested?

    One could try explaining to the partner how sexuality is an important a part of a relationship, this relationship. But if s/he doesn't already get that, I would be very surprised.

    Some things, only the other person can change. The newly asexual person and partner would have to decide where their priorities lie, what compromises they are willing to make, individually and together.

    If the problem were some health crisis, I think people might respond differently.
  • Chipmaniac
    Chipmaniac Posts: 642 Member
    No, I wouldn't. My libido is too high. I can understand others who have a low sex drive saying "It wouldn't matter". For those of us with a normal to high drive, it just wouldn't cut it.
  • notAfan
    notAfan Posts: 42 Member
    when you are married, its for life. if you're not married, you shouldn't be having sex.
    Great answer!
  • aproc
    aproc Posts: 1,033 Member
    Probably. I've never really had an interest in sex anyways... I can enjoy it once it gets going but I'm just fine without it too. Don't really have much of a sex drive..
  • WhatAgirl_
    WhatAgirl_ Posts: 151 Member
    thats why i stay single. people get loved confused with a bunch of other things... men and women only think about sex... sex is supposed to be love making but since almost everybody has sex like an exercise and experiment with each-other and so on.... love has no meaning, and sex means everything to a lot of people...sad world. maybe I just dont belong here... I know that for sure
    i love chocolate
  • jus_in_bello
    jus_in_bello Posts: 326 Member
    Of course I'd stay... The only way to get better at sex is to practice, and I like practicing.

    Let's say he isn't interested in sex. You all haven't had sex in about a year. What then?

    Maybe he's just not that into her, maybe he's asexual, maybe he's abstaining, maybe he's figuring out his sexuality, maybe this is one of those things that is best discussed between the two people in the relationship and not on facebook or MFP, or maybe I'm crazy.
  • kelsey054
    kelsey054 Posts: 110 Member
    Is he trainable?

    This! A lot of what constitutes good sex can be taught, partner willing. The process can be educational and adventurous and great fun for all concerned.

    (Partner *not* willing, sex may be the least of your priblems.)

    If he/she isn't willing, how do you get him/her to be interested?

    One could try explaining to the partner how sexuality is an important a part of a relationship, this relationship. But if s/he doesn't already get that, I would be very surprised.

    Some things, only the other person can change. The newly asexual person and partner would have to decide where their priorities lie, what compromises they are willing to make, individually and together.

    If the problem were some health crisis, I think people might respond differently.

    Nice thorough answer!
  • kelsey054
    kelsey054 Posts: 110 Member
    Of course I'd stay... The only way to get better at sex is to practice, and I like practicing.

    Let's say he isn't interested in sex. You all haven't had sex in about a year. What then?

    Maybe he's just not that into her, maybe he's asexual, maybe he's abstaining, maybe he's figuring out his sexuality, maybe this is one of those things that is best discussed between the two people in the relationship and not on facebook or MFP, or maybe I'm crazy.

    It's not even a real situation; it's just a debate. Hypothetical. The question of "would you stay in a relationship if your sex life is bad." :)
  • Contrarian
    Contrarian Posts: 8,138 Member
    when you are married, its for life. if you're not married, you shouldn't be having sex.

    A TIME TRAVELER! SQUEEEEEE!!!!
  • MrDelts
    MrDelts Posts: 209 Member
    there is more to a relationship then just having sex?

    Yes, there is more.. But if you're not having sex, then you're just living with your friend.
  • kelsey054
    kelsey054 Posts: 110 Member
    thats why i stay single. people get loved confused with a bunch of other things... men and women only think about sex... sex is supposed to be love making but since almost everybody has sex like an exercise and experiment with each-other and so on.... love has no meaning, and sex means everything to a lot of people...sad world. maybe I just dont belong here... I know that for sure
    i love chocolate

    Lol, you do belong here. I'm not a fan of chocolate...but that's not the topic here! ;)

    I guess it really depends on your standards, libido, etc.
  • FabMrFox
    FabMrFox Posts: 259 Member
    Of course I'd stay... The only way to get better at sex is to practice, and I like practicing.

    Let's say he isn't interested in sex. You all haven't had sex in about a year. What then?


    HAHAHA she turned him gay he's just no longer into women!. Seriously though go to the doctor it could just be low testosterone and unrelated to preferences
  • goldair23
    goldair23 Posts: 160
    I don't think I would break up with him if everything else was going well.. Although a year? I barely last a week without!
    But yeah I'd be a little concerned to say the least xx
  • JediMaster_intraining
    JediMaster_intraining Posts: 903 Member
    Nope. Deal breaker for sure if it doesn't get better within the first few times. Need chemistry!
  • kelsey054
    kelsey054 Posts: 110 Member
    there is more to a relationship then just having sex?

    Yes, there is more.. But if you're not having sex, then you're just living with your friend.

    In a way I have to agree with this. To me, in a relationship there has to be more then just the emotional love; physical love is manditory. If you don't have that, then it is pretty much a friendship-love. lol.
  • sizzle92
    sizzle92 Posts: 1,015 Member
    No. But I wouldn't be IN a marriage that had one because I test drive first.
  • klbruce317
    klbruce317 Posts: 20
    Well, if sex was never an issue before and now suddenly it is, there's a problem. I'll be blunt - he's getting it somewhere else.
  • MisterGoodBar
    MisterGoodBar Posts: 157 Member
    yes but it depends on what point we are in the relationship.
  • yo_andi
    yo_andi Posts: 2,178 Member
    I'm the same way. I love sex, just don't get it enough.

    You have boobs. People with boobs rarely have issues gettin' laid. Go get some, girl!
  • sizzle92
    sizzle92 Posts: 1,015 Member
    there is more to a relationship then just having sex?

    Yes, there is more.. But if you're not having sex, then you're just living with your friend.

    That is what me and my husband always say!
  • kelsey054
    kelsey054 Posts: 110 Member
    Of course I'd stay... The only way to get better at sex is to practice, and I like practicing.

    Let's say he isn't interested in sex. You all haven't had sex in about a year. What then?


    HAHAHA she turned him gay he's just no longer into women!. Seriously though go to the doctor it could just be low testosterone and unrelated to preferences


    Bahaha!
  • HeidiMightyRawr
    HeidiMightyRawr Posts: 3,343 Member
    Yes I would, if I really loved them.

    But a year, of them not even willing to try for my sake? I would be pissed. I mean, my sex drive isn't all that high which is probably why I'd stay, but I couldn't go without completely!! I'd want them to see someone, like a doctor, and see if there's anything physical wrong, especially if he had a sex drive before!

    Until things get sorted, he could at least help things along and do the job for me occasionally in other ways! That could be a compromise lol
  • kelsey054
    kelsey054 Posts: 110 Member
    I'm the same way. I love sex, just don't get it enough.

    You have boobs. People with boobs rarely have issues gettin' laid. Go get some, girl!


    Haha, I got a lot of those! I get a plenty good amount to last me a little bit.
  • neverstray
    neverstray Posts: 3,845 Member
    I dont' care that much about sex anymore. Believe me, I went through my thing with it. I would hump a hole in the wall if I saw one. But, now, I'm really not interested that much. That doesn't mean I'd go a year without it. That's crazy. But, it's defintely not the focal point of a relationship for me.

    However, when it's good, it's good. When it's not good, it would not be something I would really be looking forward to, so it would happen less.

    But, i have to ask the question, if the sex is not just mind-blowing, why are you with them? I know it's not you we're talking about, but it's a question. To me, if that part of our relationship was ho-hum, the relationship would not have ever happened. It's that sexual spark and interest that keeps everything going. As that fades over time, which it does, there should be other stuff there too. But, that is a big part of the intimacy and closeness of a relationship.
  • paleirishmother
    paleirishmother Posts: 242
    I don't care about having sex..I'm weird, it just wouldn't bother me to get it or not, or if it's good or not.
    I could go without it. As long as I COULD have it if I wanted it.
  • miss_asho
    miss_asho Posts: 80
    Sex isn't everything. What about the fact that you have fun together or he is a great kisser. If you love sex that much maybe you shouldn't be in a relationship.
  • wavdawg4
    wavdawg4 Posts: 139 Member
    Ask your self and your partner what you want from the relationship. Over time, sex changes. If you are in a relationship for great sex, the relationship may not last. If you support each other's goals and dreams, if you sync over recreational pursuits, if you share values and spiritual principles, then there is a good chance the relationship will last through a shakey period of crumby sex.

    This, couldn't have said it better.
  • mgobluetx12
    mgobluetx12 Posts: 1,326 Member
    Absolutely. I have been in this position and I would rather be with someone who is my soulmate, who loves me and cares about me more than anyone in the world than some guy who likes to have sex a lot.

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