Would you stay in a relationship if?

13

Replies

  • rm830
    rm830 Posts: 531 Member
    Of course I'd stay... The only way to get better at sex is to practice, and I like practicing.

    Let's say he isn't interested in sex. You all haven't had sex in about a year. What then?

    A year?! Is he not interested in sex period or sex with his partner? I couldn't do the no sex for a year thing....if I was single, maybe...but def not if I'm in a relationship! Eeek
  • WhatAgirl_
    WhatAgirl_ Posts: 151 Member
    thats why i stay single. people get loved confused with a bunch of other things... men and women only think about sex... sex is supposed to be love making but since almost everybody has sex like an exercise and experiment with each-other and so on.... love has no meaning, and sex means everything to a lot of people...sad world. maybe I just dont belong here... I know that for sure
    i love chocolate

    Lol, you do belong here. I'm not a fan of chocolate...but that's not the topic here! ;)

    I guess it really depends on your standards, libido, etc.

    you are not fan of chocolate?!!! :noway:
    if the person you are with doesn’t want to have sex it might be for a number of reason. Maybe he might even have some medical problems so just ask him what is the problem....too much stress etc... Communication is the key. But i would say if you don’t feel the love anymore then leave. Just because sex is not great or not present doesn’t mean you should break up... unless of course in the first place you were in the relationship just for sex.
  • RikanSoulja
    RikanSoulja Posts: 463 Member
    thats why i stay single. people get loved confused with a bunch of other things... men and women only think about sex... sex is supposed to be love making but since almost everybody has sex like an exercise and experiment with each-other and so on.... love has no meaning, and sex means everything to a lot of people...sad world. maybe I just dont belong here... I know that for sure
    i love chocolate

    Sounds like you are confusing love and lust.

    On topic I would find it hard to be with someone who has a low sex drive and does not want to have sex. If the sex is bad I could work with that though.
  • kenazfehu
    kenazfehu Posts: 1,188 Member
    That would be great; of course I'd stay in the relationship. I'm not all that interested in being touched myself.
  • WeekndOVOXO
    WeekndOVOXO Posts: 779 Member
    If the sex sucks then probably not, but it depends. My first girlfriend never had sex before me and she was awful at it. I wasn't going to break up with her cause of that. She was a newbie. I taught her what I knew and it wasn't an issue anymore.
  • shamr0ck
    shamr0ck Posts: 296 Member
    A bad sex life has been the catalyst for a breakup in my past, so i have to say it's a deal breaker. Perhaps i won't feel the same way when i get older, but at 43, it's still pretty crucial to me.
  • stinabear13
    stinabear13 Posts: 32
    Ask your self and your partner what you want from the relationship. Over time, sex changes. If you are in a relationship for great sex, the relationship may not last. If you support each other's goals and dreams, if you sync over recreational pursuits, if you share values and spiritual principles, then there is a good chance the relationship will last through a shakey period of crumby sex.


    exactly this. sex can and will change over time. if its always been crummy from the beginning then id say its very important to be up front and honest with your partner about likes and dislikes , even demonstrating for them through *kitten* what you or they like most or what works best to reach orgasm on both your parts. if no one is trying both are to blame! i would think one can feel they can be fully open with the partner that they chose to be with.
  • kelsey054
    kelsey054 Posts: 110 Member
    I dont' care that much about sex anymore. Believe me, I went through my thing with it. I would hump a hole in the wall if I saw one. But, now, I'm really not interested that much. That doesn't mean I'd go a year without it. That's crazy. But, it's defintely not the focal point of a relationship for me.

    However, when it's good, it's good. When it's not good, it would not be something I would really be looking forward to, so it would happen less.

    But, i have to ask the question, if the sex is not just mind-blowing, why are you with them? I know it's not you we're talking about, but it's a question. To me, if that part of our relationship was ho-hum, the relationship would not have ever happened. It's that sexual spark and interest that keeps everything going. As that fades over time, which it does, there should be other stuff there too. But, that is a big part of the intimacy and closeness of a relationship.

    There must be something to keep them in the relationship. I agree with what your saying too.
  • GlutesthatSalute
    GlutesthatSalute Posts: 460 Member
    Bad sex life is one thing.. that can be worked on. However not wanting to have sex for a year.. that's definately a red flag! It could be a medical reason or simply just the communication between the couple. Sometimes womens nagging and complaining after awhile can change the dimensions of a relationship. Maybe the guy feels underappreciated or insecure. There's al sorts of reasons but a year is WAY to long :noway:
  • PunkyRachel
    PunkyRachel Posts: 1,959 Member
    Don't get my wrong I love my husband to death. I bring in most of our income cause his job is only part time, and I'm full time. My husband sits on his computer and plays online games and voice chats with people, he doesn't cook or clean. He's a lazy bum! He also is sweet, always telling me how good I look, encouraging me, we can just sit and talk for hours on end still even after 10 years. He will give me body massages, and just listen when I need to vent. Now on to the sex, it is amazing! He is always wanting to change it up, I usually have 3-6 orgasms in an hour! It's the main reason I don't ever leave him, I'm scared if I get with a different man the sex won't be as good lol.
  • Danielle_2013
    Danielle_2013 Posts: 806 Member
    One year... try five. Whether it is health related, low testosterone or any number of issues.. this will wear away at the other individual if they are highly sexual and do want it or consider it a part of a healthy relationship. The hardest part too is the the second guessing..because we are all taught that all men just naturally want sex..all the time.

    This issue will more often than not eventually erode the other great parts of the relationship..because it generally also comes with a lack of communication, intimacy and a feeling of rejection and/or shame, neglect and embarrassment. That, coupled with people changing and starting to want different things sexually and otherwise will pretty much kill a relationship.

    I know. I'm that girl.
  • WhatAgirl_
    WhatAgirl_ Posts: 151 Member
    thats why i stay single. people get loved confused with a bunch of other things... men and women only think about sex... sex is supposed to be love making but since almost everybody has sex like an exercise and experiment with each-other and so on.... love has no meaning, and sex means everything to a lot of people...sad world. maybe I just dont belong here... I know that for sure
    i love chocolate

    Sounds like you are confusing love and lust.

    On topic I would find it hard to be with someone who has a low sex drive and does not want to have sex. If the sex is bad I could work with that though.

    love, trust, sex are all diffrent topics that go hand in hand. I am not confusing them. maybe u are

    if the person you are with doesn’t want to have sex or has a low sex drive it might be for a number of reason. Maybe they might even have some medical problems, Communication is the key....unless of course in the first place you were in the relationship just for sex then it makes perfect sense to leave if you are not getting what u want (sex)
  • kelsey054
    kelsey054 Posts: 110 Member
    A bad sex life has been the catalyst for a breakup in my past, so i have to say it's a deal breaker. Perhaps i won't feel the same way when i get older, but at 43, it's still pretty crucial to me.
    You go girl! ;)
  • blushingmama
    blushingmama Posts: 111 Member
    I've been married for 17 years. We've always had a passionate sex life. I can't imagine a relationship lacking in passion and intimacy.

    If he turned ill & lost his interest in sex I couldn't leave him based on that. Our relationship is much more than physical. Or if he's under stress at work and doesn't have the mental energy, I'd talk to him about it but wouldn't leave him or add anyone to my life.

    If he lost interested in me cause he was getting it somewhere else - I'd wanna leave.
  • Chipmaniac
    Chipmaniac Posts: 642 Member
    If you love sex that much maybe you shouldn't be in a relationship.
    Ha! It's great to finally have someone admit that sex has no place in a relationship.
  • capriciousmoon
    capriciousmoon Posts: 1,263 Member
    I wouldn't care as long as it was honest lack of interest in sex and not lack of attraction to me or cheating. Sex doesn't matter if everything else is good.
  • PilotX
    PilotX Posts: 233 Member
    why not discuss why the sex is bad and try new things to see if its bad. go away for a night stay in a hotel role play
  • kelsey054
    kelsey054 Posts: 110 Member
    One year... try five. Whether it is health related, low testosterone or any number of issues.. this will wear away at the other individual if they are highly sexual and do want it or consider it a part of a healthy relationship. The hardest part too is the the second guessing..because we are all taught that all men just naturally want sex..all the time.

    This issue will more often than not eventually erode the other great parts of the relationship..because it generally also comes with a lack of communication, intimacy and a feeling of rejection and/or shame, neglect and embarrassment. That, coupled with people changing and starting to want different things sexually and otherwise will pretty much kill a relationship.

    I know. I'm that girl.


    Nice answer.
  • Chipmaniac
    Chipmaniac Posts: 642 Member
    I wouldn't care as long as it was honest lack of interest in sex and not lack of attraction to me or cheating. Sex doesn't matter if everything else is good.
    I firmly believe that people that can say this either a) Have little to no sex drive, aka abnormal b) Have never had good sex

    I pity both types of folks.
  • kelsey054
    kelsey054 Posts: 110 Member
    I wouldn't care as long as it was honest lack of interest in sex and not lack of attraction to me or cheating. Sex doesn't matter if everything else is good.


    I think unattraction to me would be the worse thing in the world. I don't deal with rejection very well.
  • EatClean_WashUrNuts
    EatClean_WashUrNuts Posts: 1,590 Member
    If you place sex above love, its never worth being in the relationship from the get go.

    This is one reason why so many no longer honor the vows they take for one another.
  • onedayillbeamilf
    onedayillbeamilf Posts: 966 Member
    when you are married, its for life. if you're not married, you shouldn't be having sex.

    Oopsies.
  • sherrirb
    sherrirb Posts: 1,649 Member
    Of course I'd stay... The only way to get better at sex is to practice, and I like practicing.

    Let's say he isn't interested in sex. You all haven't had sex in about a year. What then?

    If this is a man you are talking.. not interested in sex for a year?? You could be dealing with a couple of different issues here:

    1. He's not physically attracted to women any longer
    2. He's got some physical/physiological problems, such as ED or some other disorder that interrupts function
    3. He's having an affair with someone else.

    If I was a woman in a relationship that the man was not interested in sex for more than a week - I'd know there was something wrong. After a month, we'd either be talking about it between us or I'd encouraging him to seek medical attention. For a man to go that long and not want sex, there is something wrong, seriously wrong.

    That being said, I would not end my marriage due to "bad sex". Marriage means I am committed to my man. For better or worse, through sickeness and health, til death us do part.
  • EBFNP
    EBFNP Posts: 529 Member
    I would...Sex isn't everything to me..Maybe I am too sexually immature, but a relationship is more about emotional connection, bonding, sharing experiences, and love. Great sex is a bonus that can be worked on over time. There may become a time when I don't love my partner or find him attractive anymore. However, that is not enough for me to leave relationship....
  • CharleneExtreme
    CharleneExtreme Posts: 372
    If you place sex above love, its never worth being in the relationship from the get go.

    This is one reason why so many no longer honor the vows they take for one another.

    ^ My thoughts exactly!! If a person leaves someone because of bad sex they obviously have communication problems. If the sex life is lacking and you truly love the person, you'll speak to them about it and you'll both fix things. x
  • dr2k12
    dr2k12 Posts: 291 Member
    Not a chance, but I also wouldn't stay in a relationship with a mean person, a rude person, a lazy person or if any of the other traits that I find important are lacking...
  • mandorla
    mandorla Posts: 81 Member
    The doctor and psychologist, after physical problems are ruled out I would start talking about polyamory. Who says one person has to provide everything in a relationship.
  • JustJennie1
    JustJennie1 Posts: 3,749 Member
    You had a bad sex life? If so, what would be the deal breaker in your relationship?


    I had to add, this isn't about me and my husband; it's steaming off a debate on Facebook. I was just curious on others responses.

    By "bad sex life" do you mean sex is bad in general or it's not often enough?

    For me, if there's little to no sex in a relationship, discussions have been had and it still hasn't improved then that's a big issue. Regardless of what people here might say sex IS a big portion of a relationship. If I wanted to be in a sexless relationship I'd just hang out with friends.

    Now if the sex is bad and I mean in the sense that he's just not satisfying me then I need to speak up and tell him what I want and how to make me feel good.
  • Lazygal53
    Lazygal53 Posts: 294 Member
    Of course I'd stay... The only way to get better at sex is to practice, and I like practicing.

    Let's say he isn't interested in sex. You all haven't had sex in about a year. What then?

    Simple ... he's getting it elsewhere ...
  • strawberrytoast
    strawberrytoast Posts: 711 Member
    As long as nothing was underlying like cheating ect i'd love my partner no matter what, there are other ways to please besides sex :wink:

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