so sad....

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Replies

  • xxcooneyxx
    xxcooneyxx Posts: 221 Member
    One day I told myself "If you had stuck with every diet you quit in the first five days, you would be skinny by now!!!" And that really woke me up.

    IMO, the first two weeks are the hardest. You are miserable and hungry and you body isn't used to it so it's fighting back. To top it all off, you really can't see visible results yet so you feel like you are suffering for no reason. If you just grit your teeth and push through until you start seeing a more beautiful you in the mirror, THAT will give you a reason to keep going. It's just a hump you have to push through.
  • NewTnme
    NewTnme Posts: 258 Member
    The same thing happens to me:cry: Its ok, I just try to tel myself to get back on, 1 bad day doesn't mean we have to throw in the towel for good, You are beautiful, Keep fighting, for you and for your children:flowerforyou:
  • Jmstill300
    Jmstill300 Posts: 239 Member
    You have to make the first step. It's easy to sit on the couch eating potato chips wishing you could lose some weight...I know! Just commit. Log your food here everyday. It will start to come off!
    This says it all. You can do this! You've got a WONDERFUL support network here, hon! :flowerforyou:
  • kingscrown
    kingscrown Posts: 615 Member
    You're only defeated if you quit trying. I'm 52 and I'm still trying. Exercise is the only thing that has gotten my head on straight. OK quitting artifical sweetners also help tremendously too. Just keep trying. Hopefully you won't be 52 before the pounds start to come off and STAY off.
  • thisisiamj
    thisisiamj Posts: 145 Member
    My first too weeks of changing my diet and exercise habits were really hard too. I was irritable and kinda a bit**. But I promise it gets easier... soon the exercise and healthy foods will make you feel great and more energetic. Find exercises that are fun and ease your way into making a lifestyle change... one thing at a time.
  • marie_25m
    marie_25m Posts: 64 Member
    Dont go too drastic, keep eating the same things you do but watch portions. It will be a slow process, some days will be great...others ok but you will lose weight if you keep track of your food and exercise. Good luck. feel free to add me if you need encouragement.
  • MinMin97
    MinMin97 Posts: 2,674 Member
    It's a miserable place to be. Begin to make good changes. Don't give up. Keep going.
  • ott180
    ott180 Posts: 1
    Dont get yourself down! There are many people who are in your shoes! Including myself! I had my first baby 8mths ago and i'm trying so hard to take off the weight, but lets face it, I LOVE food and when i get the chance to eat, i EAT! Its hard when you dont have a partner to do it with either. I feel like this journey would be a lot easier if i had someone to help me get motivation! So if you would like we can do our own little competetion! I'm very open and I am here for you!
    Jessica
  • Keto_T
    Keto_T Posts: 673 Member
    There's a Kindle book called Hungry: Lessons Learned on the Journey from Fat to Thin by Allen Zadoff on Amazon that tells the story of a food addict. It's mostly describing his addiction but there is a little help in there too. It was a freebie but just looked and now it's $2.99. Well worth it to know you aren't alone. Sucky for much advice on what to do about it.
  • findingme07
    findingme07 Posts: 156 Member
    MFP is the best motivational, inspirational, and self-accountable tool I have found! It keeps me coming back everyday!
  • dakitten2
    dakitten2 Posts: 888 Member
    I'm 58 and today is my one year anniversary for my lifestyle changes. I'll be honest and say when I started this thing I have myself 2 weeks. So I didnt bother to measure, take pictures or anything. Why would I, I had always failed before. Like you that 300 number was 2 close for comfort. The day my life changed, I waddled into the drs office and weighed 290 pounds. Just 10 pounds away from that number I never wanted to see. So I had the dr send me to a nutritionist to teach this old woman about food.

    The exercise was my hardest part, I had 2 knee replacements, one that was in really bad shape since the dr broke my leg when he did the replacement. The only exercise I was allowed to do was in water. So I joined the Y and since I love the pool anyway, I started going to classes and to free swim time.

    Oh yeah, I had to change a lot of food choices but i can honestly say I dont eat anything I dont like just because it is healthy for me. I have to like the food and to my surprise I found a lot of healthier alternatives that I love.

    Take it one day, sometimes I meal at a time and honestly you will be surprised how quickly those days add up. When my wall post came up this morning at 365 days logging and 111 pounds lost. I sorta sat there in disbelief. So believe me YOU CAN do this.

    There is so much good info in this thread that I wont bother repeating any of that. My biggest thing was looking at the over all picture of 145 pounds to lose and that seemed daunting and overwhelming. I broke it down to 10 pound intervals. I rewarded myself with something unrelated to food every 10 pounds. So far I've reached 11 of my 15 goals (10 pounds).

    I wish you well in your journey and anytime you need help or motivation, know that someone on here is always ready to help!
  • kenazfehu
    kenazfehu Posts: 1,188 Member
    It's hard to break bad habits, but it helps if you know what you're getting out of eating.

    For me, stuffing myself until I was miserable was a good excuse for not facing the problems in my life head-on. And then one night all of a sudden I saw exactly what I was doing and exactly why. When I realized that I was stuffing myself like a Thanksgiving turkey ON PURPOSE, I realized that I could do something else.

    So I'm doing this. I made myself some rules: 4 meals per day 3 hours apart, 1 bedtime snack, and water any other time. I often find myself chanting like a mantra "you can wait" when I start feeling that pull toward the kitchen.

    Life is not one bit less stressful for me. I still have a son on drugs who isn't being responsible for his children, but he doesn't live here anymore (which in some ways is worse, now I worry about where he is, what he's doing, and whether it will kill him). But my life is my own again. I have free will. I can choose what I do to myself.

    And so can you!
  • Sarah_Wins
    Sarah_Wins Posts: 936 Member
    I really want to give you a serious answer, but that pic is a little distracting, not gonna lie.
  • JessicaBR0
    JessicaBR0 Posts: 256 Member
    You are not alone, there is nothing wrong with you! I used to be the same and many many other people have the same problems, the thing is though, it is like giving up smoking, the longer you keep it up the fewer the cravings become! If yo can keep going past that two week wall that you hit you will find it easier and easier, there is tons of help and support on here.

    You really do need to make complete changes in your lifestyle, eating habits and attitude to food to make a lasting change. But if you keep at it, eventually it becomes a natural way of life and in my case...a healthy addiction!!! Xxx

    ^ What she said. You are not alone in this. It is really sad you feel this way and you are so young. I think therapy would be a good addition to your new routine for some extra guidance and support.
  • Kymmu
    Kymmu Posts: 1,650 Member
    I think the first 4 weeks is the hardest. Breaking old habits and old emotions.....Then it suddenly just begins to fall into place.
    Come on girl- get determined- I know you can do it!
    Be honest with yourself about why you make your food and exercise choices. Set teeny tiny goals for yourself each day. You are WORTH IT.
    Tell yourself you are doing it to enjoy a long and happy life with your kids. THEY are worth it.
    I would set a goal for every half day. Make it through the morning having had a healthy breakfast and a walk around the block.
    Make it through till dinnertime having had a nutritious lunch and another walk around the block. Put some music on, wear headphones, distract yourself, fake it till you make it.
    We are all behind you- go, go , go!!
  • Goddessmaker1
    Goddessmaker1 Posts: 114 Member
    Depression is a *****. You may not see it but I do. I suffered for many years. Until that is fixed your weight will remain. Even when you push with your all it won't make a lot of difference bc your unhappy and will use food to compensate for it.After losing 70 plus lbs I know that once the mind is good everything else will follow. Add me if you like. It takes loving yourself completely without recourse nor conditions. You can't love yourself when you get xyz. Fluck you husband. He has a issue. He won't man up so instead he wacks off with a video. He is lame for that. Keep working on you and he will see your confidence go through the roof and he either will change or get left. You have babies they deserve and demand a happy mom.
  • needles85365
    needles85365 Posts: 491 Member
    Baby steps...get it in your head that you are not on a diet, you are on a lifestyle change. Your going to make healthier choices and become a healthy stronger you. You have made a great first choice by joining MFP. It is one choice at a time and if you occasionally made a decision to eat something that could have been healthier...hey it's one decision and it doesn't mean you are a failure or going to be overweight forever. Make you next choice better. You may want to seek some counseling re your spouse, sorry that has happened but that is his loss.
  • kimosabe1
    kimosabe1 Posts: 2,467 Member
    Time to take initiative and make yourself number one for health's sake..... If you stay at almost 300 eventually you will have a heart attack or a stroke. MFP is perfect for you because you can monitor your food and your exercise that way you can loose weight. Time to make yourself number one and do this! I did this because I didn't want a heart attack or a stroke at my age. I am on both blood pressure and cholesterol medication.

    Samantha
  • rileamoyer
    rileamoyer Posts: 2,412 Member
    You mention 2 issues that need to be addressed separately. First, your weight - only you can do something about that. There are two kinds of pain...that which hurts and that which changes. What do you want? MFP is a great tool to use because it's easy and straight forward...make it a game. As someone else mentioned, find out why you decide to quit. Your food and lack of discipline is a symptom of something inside, face it.

    Second, your husband's issue is a separate issue. You could lose as much weight as you want and that won't change what's going on in him so don't "put that monkey on your back". He needs to face it by himself and you both need to face it as a couple since it's hurting your relationship.

    sounds like good advice
  • tbruegg
    tbruegg Posts: 283 Member
    Everyone here is great motivators don't give up......
    Your husband and his hang up with porn is not about you that's HIS hang up don't take on his problems and apply them to you it's ALL HIS....................
  • ExplorinLauren
    ExplorinLauren Posts: 991 Member
    So, Im 23 and almost 300lbs... I dont want to hit that... I try everything.. I dont know what is wrong with me or my brain? I can go strong for a week or 2 and then I quit... whats wrong with me?? Im usually very social and outgoing.. and I feel myself becoming very angry at people and sad and crying often.. and now to top it off.. my husband would rather watch porn than be with me... I dont know what to do :( Im sorry if I sound like a cry baby.. I know most of you will tell me to quit whining and do something... I just feel defeated.

    Honestly... The only way to "not hit that weight" and "try everything" and to fix most of what you just said.... is to STICK WITH IT. You aren't going to succeed if you give up, and you aren't going to change if you do what you've always done... Its not going to be easy. It's going to be hard, and some days are going to suck.... But sticking with it is key.

    I'm not trying to sound harsh AT ALL. I think we have all been there. You have to be ready to make this work. And when you are really ready... REALLY ready, you will have the strength to push past the worst days, and just hang on. And when you don't have strength and need a friend, you will have people from MFP to help you through... And the reward will come when the scale keeps moving, you start feeling better, you start looking better, you stop seeing it as a diet, and achieve your goal. :)

    As far as your husband, that's a diff topic all together. Just bc he is watching porn doesn't mean he wants it more than you. ( or maybe ... idk, I don't know your situation. lol So I can't really say...) But if you feel this awful about yourself right now, and you are feeling less than, or mad or crying all the time or feel defeated... you MAY BE PROJECTING.... Or 'thinking' its worse than it is. If that is not the case, and he really wants it more than you.... Which, I still doubt, but if so... then .. that will have to be worked out later. This is about you... and your goals and what YOU want. The rest will fall into place. And if it doesn't, you will find out everything you need at that time, and will know where to go from there...

    Good luck!! :flowerforyou:
  • marshipooh
    marshipooh Posts: 3 Member
    Hi Hannah K,

    First and foremost - Pray. Yep, I said it. PUSH = Pray until something happens. You are going through a whole lot more than weight issues and hurt from your husband. I can tell that deep down in the core you have a whole lot going on and little by little it's breaking you apart. All your pain, all your tears, all your hurt. You probably feel like no one understands. But someone really does and is waiting to reach out and help you. Please visit http://www.davidjeremiah.org. He has a book out right now that is a must read but please start here.

    As for your weary feelings and dismay when it comes to your weight. One day at a time and it will all fall into place. You won't start out giving up everything you love right away. If that is your expectation, you may be setting yourself up. Just take it bit by bit and moment by moment. Log everything you do, everything and little by little it will all come together. You'll soon be able to make better decisions while still enjoying things you love. It is easy when you are sad and depressed to use food as a way to feel better. I think most of us has been on that journey but pace yourself. Slow and steady and soon enough you'll be on here posting your success story as well.

    Feel free to add me and please visit that website :)
  • Phoenixchichima
    Phoenixchichima Posts: 416
    I"m sorry life seems so overwhelming. for what its worth, its been that way for me sometimes, and i'm guessing for everyone else here too.
    it seems like you have 4 issues. please take a few minutes & heart searching & see if this is correct, because you cant fix everything with 1 solution

    1) it appears you are upset about your weight. ok, you're at the right place. everyone here is working on that issue & most folks have great experience & support available for you. You've gotten a lot of practical suggestions to try to help your weight.

    2) you sound like you could be depressed perhaps. if so, its not a weakness or a crime. life is like that sometimes so dont feel ashamed, just get help. you can only blame yourself for depression if you dont try to get some help getting over it. remember, if you are depressed, everything by definition is overwhelming :)

    3) You appear isolatedin a strange coungry with a different language, your friends and family far away likely & your support system is far away. can you join a young mothers group or some club to get out of hte house & find other women like yourself so you can be available for each other

    4) you seem to be concerned about your marriage AFTER you've invested so much into it. Well. you may be right. you husband probably blames hsi addition to porn on you, but as so many have said, its HIS problem, not yours. My ex hated my weight when i was 120lbs. they use that as an excuse for their behaviour. dont buy into it. can you get marriage counseling for the 2 of you, or if he wont go with you, go alone

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