Mikes Daily Rant 10/19/2012 "Forget" the Fruit

This happend yesterday so I had to rant about it

So today's rant was inspired by the wonderful people that I work with yet again. During my transition period from Morbidly obese to normal size many of my coworkers were quite inconsiderate of the process. They would buy fast food everyday and offer everytime. Very nice of them huh? I explained to them that offering unhealthy food to a fat person on a diet is like offering crack to a junkie. Or alcohol to an alcoholic. Or Boy Scouts to a Priest.<<<To far? Sorry. Fortunately, I am strong and was very determined to lose weight no matter what. I Never gave in. Obviously, this caused a riff in our lunch affairs. I started eating alone and yes people talked about me and how I was not going to continue to eat healthy, or that I eat healthy at work but they are sure that I tear the fridge and pantry up when I get home. It was refreshing to be away from them so that I was able to find out how they really felt about me and lack of faith they had in me. The street committee told me everything because they actually liked me and supported me. Street committee told me that bets were even made as to how long before I would fail. Great!

Now that you have this background information I'm sure that you all won't be so quick to rip me a new poop chute. Although I know some people still will because I'm a jerk period. It doesn't matter who was wronged first I always go a step further. I guess you can call me. King of the Jerks.

So many of the people that talked about me during my weight loss transition are currently going through their very own weight loss transition. That's great I'm happy for them. However, I do believe in eye for an eye. Fruit for a fruit.

Yesterday I woke up early to get a little workout in and realized that I still had plenty of time to stop and get food for breakfast. I stopped at the closest grocery store to grab a few peaches to hold me over for the day. Yummy peaches! I felt good but incomplete. I thought to myself grab your coworkers something too. They would appreciate it. Sooooo I did. I grabbed about $30 worth of fresh fruit and even had the produce manager make a basket for it. Feeling great I headed to work. When turning onto the street by my job, my car notices that the Krispy Kreme hot fresh now sign is illuminated. Those of you that dont know about my car, it has a magnet that automatically pulls into Krispy Kreme parking lot and self parks in a spot. It's amazing. An evil thought came to my mind and I did not resist So I go in with sabotage on my mind. Muah ha ha ha *Evil laugh* I order a dozen of plain doughnuts. The Lady tells me at the counter, "Sir if you want to pay $1.00 more you can have another dozen." I laugh out Loud and hand her a dollar. Yet, a deal like this I can do much better. I place a second order and include the dollar. Now I have 4 dozens of hot fresh doughnuts and a basket of fresh produce. It's gonna be a great day! Well for me.

7:05a.m
So I walk in perky with a smile, fresh produce and 4 dozens of do nots. I mean doughnuts. I place them in the breakroom and napkins next to it all. I get the coffee machine going and then I realize that I forgot to get orange juice. I run to the convenience store across the street and get the juice.

7:20a.m
Run back and set it up next to doughnuts and fruit.
As i walk back to my office, I still feel that there is something incomplete about this project. As soon as I squat to sit, a light bulb turns on in my head! I grab a sharpie and run back to the breakroom before people start to show up. I write on all the boxes 9/17/2012 and then run back to my office laughing. That would make the doughnuts exactly 1 month old.
I sit down and send out an email stating that as a token of my appreciation for everyone and what they do everyday I have fresh fruit, juice, coffee and stale doughnuts in the breakroom. *Send*

7:30a.m
After sending out email I feel that my day is officially made. I sit and wait to see how long everything lasts while nibbling on my sweet Georgia peach.

7:45a.m
People entering building.

7:55a.m
My email is flooded with replys stating thank you. We appreciate you too. Those type replys. Or what I call re-lies.

9:00a.m people start to come thank me in person and say thanks for the doughnuts mike that was really nice. This was the theme of the day. Tanks for the doughnuts! Not once did anyone thank me for the lovely fruit basket. It was like it was invisible!

10:00am
I go to breakroom to look at the havoc that I caused. What I saw was quite shocking. All the doughnuts were gone! Juice gone! Coffee gone! Fruit untouched! I look at it with a smile on my face and shake my head. I said ok I'll check back later.

5:15pm
I walk into breakroom on my way to parking lot and what do I see? A basket of fresh untouched fruit. Welp! i guess they said "forget" the fruit! Guess who will be having fresh smoothies for the week? This Guy! Its very hard to understand that the people in the building would rather eat the stale doughnuts versus very juicy fresh fruit. Oh well more for me.

I know this is a long read but I'm long winded. I hope you guys enjoy.

Next rant will be Sunday after I get back home from my class reunion. Have a great day.

MikeMontana1914