"body dysmorphia"?
Evelyneh
Posts: 13
Hey there! So, I've had rock-bottom self esteem since I was a little kid. I was always bullied, tormented and teased as a result of my weight and height; in school I was always the biggest and tallest girl. I've grown up since then, and I've lost 50 lbs in the past 2 years, and despite being in the "normal" weight category, with a BMI of 24 (5'9", 144 lbs), I just can't shed the feelings I had when I was bigger, and when I was being ridiculed all the time. I've never really gotten over it. On some days, I wake up and prance around in front of the mirror feeling all proud and confident, and on others I just see the same ol' fat girl. I'm afraid I'll never shed this feeling. I do tend to pick myself apart a lot, and to put myself down a lot (often without realizing it, or without even meaning to), and I've been accused on several occasions of having "body dysmorphia", which I'm fairly certain is just another term for "****ty self esteem". It's tough to forgive and forget things that meant so much, and that hurt so much, when you were younger and more fragile. I guess what I'm getting at in this post is, well, does anyone else feel this way? Are you average in stature, but see yourself as some kind of monster?
I genuinely do find the topic fascinating, and I think that sharing this with others will help me to understand why I think this way as well.
I genuinely do find the topic fascinating, and I think that sharing this with others will help me to understand why I think this way as well.
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Replies
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you look pretty to me
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first off, you're freaking gorgeous
secondly, yes. at my lowest weight/best shape I still saw myself as a fat gross person. i know i have added a good amount of weight since that time, but I feel personally I see myself as even more disgusting because i let it creep back on.
i suggest a therapist or counseling; i did some briefly and it made a lot of difference for my confidence0 -
wow, you need to get that out of your head, you look amazing. If you want, you can message me and we can talk about it. I've had two years of psychology, and now I'm a personal trainer, and I see this all the time.0
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Hi, i know how this feels ive lost 174pounds and still feel as big as i did then! its hard to mentally catch up with your body. low self esteem and body dysmorphia are very different things. both are awful though! i have body dysmorphia and i can be physically sick at the sight of myself, i see something vile and wrong when i see myself and am on medication. It takes sooo long to adjust but a lot of people bully out of jealousy! cant win whatever happens your tall which people love , all models are tall! and you are now a very healthy weight. it may be worth going to visit your doctor though i know a few people who have tried cbt (cognitive behavioral therapy) if you havent heard of it (you may have) its a form of therapy that rather than focus on your past it works by teaching you to process your thoughts in a better way finding a trigger etc im currently waiting for it xxx0
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I deal with the same exact thing. I'm 5"8' 132. I still see myself at 200. People don't always understand. They think you look great, and you should think you do too. So why don't you? It's HARD not to still see that person. I still do some days. You just have to continue to fight it.
Fight it everyday.0 -
I am 5'4.5 and 137 lbs and I started at 200 lbs. And yes, I feel the same way! There are days when I feel thin and trim but most days days I am totally grossed out by the reflection in the mirror and all I see is that fat girl. There are periods of time that I forget I am "normal" again. People with "fat past" definitely have lower self esteem and all kinds of emotional issues related to that.
I can't say it will pass and I don't know if it will get better but we need to work on it somehow.
Good luck!
edited for spelling0 -
You look AMAZING.0
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Been there done that. To me, I looked the same at 120 pounds as I did at 220 pounds: fat & ugly =(
About 4 years of therapy later I can now see and appreciate the positive changes I've made with my body. It's interesting how much our perception can be distorted just by what we've learned to believe, and how it can change when what we believe changes.0 -
I deal with the same exact thing. I'm 5"8' 132. I still see myself at 200. People don't always understand. They think you look great, and you should think you do too. So why don't you? It's HARD not to still see that person. I still do some days. You just have to continue to fight it.
Fight it everyday.
girls are crazy, your beautiful and absolutely ridiculously crazy for thinking otherwise!0 -
Hey there! So, I've had rock-bottom self esteem since I was a little kid. I was always bullied, tormented and teased as a result of my weight and height; in school I was always the biggest and tallest girl. I've grown up since then, and I've lost 50 lbs in the past 2 years, and despite being in the "normal" weight category, with a BMI of 24 (5'9", 144 lbs), I just can't shed the feelings I had when I was bigger, and when I was being ridiculed all the time. I've never really gotten over it. On some days, I wake up and prance around in front of the mirror feeling all proud and confident, and on others I just see the same ol' fat girl. I'm afraid I'll never shed this feeling. I do tend to pick myself apart a lot, and to put myself down a lot (often without realizing it, or without even meaning to), and I've been accused on several occasions of having "body dysmorphia", which I'm fairly certain is just another term for "****ty self esteem". It's tough to forgive and forget things that meant so much, and that hurt so much, when you were younger and more fragile. I guess what I'm getting at in this post is, well, does anyone else feel this way? Are you average in stature, but see yourself as some kind of monster?
I genuinely do find the topic fascinating, and I think that sharing this with others will help me to understand why I think this way as well.
I've been overweight and obese most of my life so when I lost the weight at age 50 and became super fit I felt like an imposter in my own body. I started dreading the attention I got everywhere I went, and the shock it gave everyone who hadn't seen me in a while, or even those I work with who watched me go through the transformation. It takes awhile for the mind to catch up to what the body has done. It's been over a year and I'm just now accepting this is the real me. Others around me accept it now too. It's really not a big deal anymore. This is just who I am and all I really want now is to help others achieve their own goals.
It just takes time and it's a tricky time as you go through the adjustment. You don't want to self sabotage yourself into going back. Get help if you need it. Find friends who have gone through the transformation and were able to stick with it, maintain, and not go back.
This is the very reason I think that surgery would be an incredibly hard thing to over come emotionally. Already, even though weight loss the "normal" way is hard and slow, the mind adjustment is still much slower than the fat loss. It is pretty weird.
Congratulations that you achieved it! I bet you are quite beautiful. I can't imagine what it would be like to be so tall. I'm only 5'1" 0 -
I have body dismorphia, alot of it stems from my eating disorder and while I am now a healthy weight for my height, I can't seem to shake this feeling. Over the last few days, it has gotten a little better, I can look at myself and not feel hatred and anger towards my body. Everyone tells you you're small but you just don't buy it, you feel like a whale. It affects my day to day life, when I'm feeling bad towards my body I can't walk out of my door. I've tried various techniques but nothing's ever really worked, so I don't really have any advice, I just want you to know you're not alone in this xxx0
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Well thank you. I know there is no logic to this disorder. None whatsoever. But it's real, and for those who have issues with it it is devastating.I deal with the same exact thing. I'm 5"8' 132. I still see myself at 200. People don't always understand. They think you look great, and you should think you do too. So why don't you? It's HARD not to still see that person. I still do some days. You just have to continue to fight it.
Fight it everyday.
girls are crazy, your beautiful and absolutely ridiculously crazy for thinking otherwise!
Especially because it IS so crazy. Especially because it doesn't make sense. Not to anybody we know. Not even to us sometimes. You don't know how much we wish we could look in the mirror and see what others do.0 -
Body dysmorphia can be described as difficulty seeing your body for what it is; "morphing" the visual image through your cognitive perceptions of yourself. NOT ****ty self esteem, but a tendency to focus on perceived flaws while ignoring the parts that don't cause you psychic distress.
One exercise that may be useful to you is to hang out in front of the mirror and consciously focus on the parts of your body that don't bug you. Even if it is hard to find something you're OK with, really level with yourself. Maybe say it out loud - "I have great ankles. My ankles are perfect and I love the way they look" etc... If you catch yourself thinking negative thoughts, try to notice that you are doing that, let it go, and re-focus on appreciating the parts that you are ok with. With time, hopefully your list of "ok" parts will get longer and it will become easier to not fixate on trouble spots.0 -
I deal with the same exact thing. I'm 5"8' 132. I still see myself at 200. People don't always understand. They think you look great, and you should think you do too. So why don't you? It's HARD not to still see that person. I still do some days. You just have to continue to fight it.
Fight it everyday.
girls are crazy, your beautiful and absolutely ridiculously crazy for thinking otherwise!
Girls are crazy lol, guys can have body dysmorphia too. It just tends to be in the "I'm too skinny/not buff enough" realm. And I gotta say, there is a reason that girls may be more insecure about their bodies. Girls get a lot more pressure to be pretty/sexy/fit than guys from society as a whole0 -
its best to seek medical advice, as i said before low self esteem and body dysmorphia are both terrible but body dysmorphia is a mental illness its very different it isnt just about disliking your body, if you think you may have it you need to see a doctor x0
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I find a lot of people, especially women, dislike their body, and generally see themselves as fat and ugly. I don't experience this, because I don't think a lot about what I look like - my focus tends to be more internal - and I've found that, as a female, I'm very unusual in this.
Body dysmorphia is different, and more specific, and you'd have to have a diagnostic test to see if you have this. But if it's just the general feeling of being fat and ugly that lots of women have, you could have some CBT, which will make you challenge the logic behind your thoughts, and so gradually change your thoughts about yourself.0 -
despite being in the "normal" weight category, with a BMI of 24 (5'9", 144 lbs)
that's a BMI of 21.3, not 24.0 -
You just described my life.
Though I have never been over weight, I have always been underweight, and teased for it, so all I usually see is skin and bones, and loose skin and a bloated belly. These days I am a lot better on myself than I used to be, I still have a bit of a "fake it till I make it mentality...."
I know what I see isn't the same a what everyone else sees. But it is still tough some days.0 -
I'm the opposite. My brain thinks I am fit and trim. I have to look in the mirror to realize, I still need to trim off some fat!0
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Body dysmorphia can be described as difficulty seeing your body for what it is; "morphing" the visual image through your cognitive perceptions of yourself. NOT ****ty self esteem, but a tendency to focus on perceived flaws while ignoring the parts that don't cause you psychic distress.
One exercise that may be useful to you is to hang out in front of the mirror and consciously focus on the parts of your body that don't bug you. Even if it is hard to find something you're OK with, really level with yourself. Maybe say it out loud - "I have great ankles. My ankles are perfect and I love the way they look" etc... If you catch yourself thinking negative thoughts, try to notice that you are doing that, let it go, and re-focus on appreciating the parts that you are ok with. With time, hopefully your list of "ok" parts will get longer and it will become easier to not fixate on trouble spots.
THIS^^^
I am 5'2" tall and 198lbs. 18 years ago I was 135lbs and wanted to lose 10lbs, but I got pregnant
I haven't been the same since.
In the last 9 months I have lost 30lbs, and am on my way to getting back to a healthy weight. In the process I have found muscles in my arms/shoulders that I never had before. It sounds so conceited, but I LOVE the way my arms look when I flex my muscles...and I love watching myself do pull ups in the mirror! Now I just need to find *something* to work my lower belly...0 -
I feel the EXACT same way as you. I do the exact same things you do. I constantly pick myself apart and I feel like a fat cow.
My BMI is 20.5. 5'4.75 and 122.8lbs.
I hate myself & struggle with this almost every day. I wish I knew how to help you, but I don't. But know you're not alone.0 -
I think this is something that affects mostly females. I mean honestly you hear this alot and you all really look fine or at the very least no where near as bad as you describe. From a guy's perspective, we can take a look at ourselves and think there is always something to improve on. No matter what point we get to or how many compliments we get. But you females take it to another level. I have always found it strange how most beautiful women always are SUPER hard on themselves, while the women that could use a little work are the most confident.....0
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from girl to girl, i can honestly say i completely know the feeling. i'm 21 in the military, and i'm told i have a "hot" body. but when i was a freshamn in high school, i had hit 201 on the scale at 5'3, and the belittling and mocking and ridicule was apart of an every routine in my life as well. i'm athletic now and i've lost 50-60 lbs since then (it varies lol) but it's a little normal to have those residual thoughts. i don't think we should dwell on them though, which is something i'm working on myself, because we did overcome, and while it's hard and we're trying to still push forward, the most important thing is how far we have already come, and that we did it for ourselves and nobody else! there has to be that point when you look in the mirror though, and realize that those "flaws" we see aren't flaws at all, and just who we are. be thankful for those "ugly duckling yrs" as i call them. thats when we developed our awesome personalities to go along with our new hot bodies! lol you're a hit hun, and you're perfeclty fine for having that insecure day. everyone does 0
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I haven't hit my goal weight, but I think that when I do I will still see myself as the fat girl. Even back when I was skinny, I didn't think I was...Just something we'll have to work through.0
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Can totally relate to this. It is hard for your mind to catch up with your body. Ultimately, you have to work just as hard at losing weight and gaining strength to find peace of mind about your physical self. Hope you can find some encouragement and have more of those prancing in front of the mirror days! 0
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I am totally the same....I was never the "Big girl" growing up, but I was always the tall girl, after having 5 kids over 13 years, and never loosing the weight I became the "Big girl" 5'8.5" and 210 at my heaviest (198 when I started my weight loss journey) I have now lost 70-73 lbs ( I fluxuate a little) but even though I have lost the weight....I still see myself in a much larger body. I am constantly crateeking(sp?) myeslf and see every little improfection there is to see with my body that family and frinds think that I am being rediculous about, and cannot see. Hang in there lady...0
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I know exactly what youre talking about some days I just feel grossed out with myself and feel like I still look the same as I did 70lbs ago. Other days I prance around and feel like I look pretty great even though I have another 50lbs to lose. One of my best guy friends is the hot guy that evey girl goes after. He lost about 60lbs a few years ago and still doesn't like anyone touching his sides, sometimes has low self esteem and acts like he's still big. I'm afraid that's going to be me but I've realized going through old pictures and talking to other people help. I really think this is something everyone goes through at some point.0
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I totally have body dysmorphia!! I think it's because when I was just starting to go through puberty, my mother always made horrible comments about what I looked like (later I found out it was because she was jealous), but that set me up for a lifetime of hating the way I look. So I understand what you are feeling. My best friend has the worst body image of anyone I have ever known though. I think we are always comparing ourselves to media images of women and what we think "perfect" is too. My five year old made a comment the other day about how her thighs were fat and I couldn't believe it, cuz she is stick thin!! There is something Tyra Banks said to do that is helpful: Once a month, look at yourself naked in front of a full-length mirror, and pick out ONE thing that you like about your body (even if it is your toes). Then, every day, say out loud, "I have pretty (say body part here)." Every month, add to the list and this is supposed to help you overcome your body issues. :flowerforyou:0
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feel free to add me! im always here for support and encouragement!
i know what you mean with this topic
you're gorgeous though!0 -
A lot of it has to do with changing the way you think. It's hard and takes time and determination, but it can be done. For example,whenever you catch yourself picking yourself to pieces, force yourself to think about something else, like the weather, or, even better, tell yourself good things about yourself. Tell youself that you look great, that you are a healthy weight, that you are healthy. If you do this long enough, over time, you can honestly change what and how you think about yourself. It can be done!0
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