Reaching out!! I need some advice men and women!

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Replies

  • Simone_King
    Simone_King Posts: 467 Member
    My two cense..

    If that was me the first time he threatened me or threatened to kill my animals I would be so out of there.

    I am single and loving it.

    This guy isn't WORTH your time and effort. I don't care who the hell he is (sorry for my word use here) regardless where he came from he should know better!

    You, of all people, shouldn't even put yourself in that situation. No man is mr. Right. However, no man has any right in acting that way to you. Put your foot down.

    He needs mental help and until he gets it you won't be a part of his life. Sorry his son is in the middle of this but your heath is in the mix.

    And you're future kids health. Do not harm yourself or your future any longer. Get out.

    GET OUT NOW!

    None of this is your fault. He just has baggage that he has to deal with first. Or never but he won't be getting you.

    Have pride on who and what you are.
  • auntdeedee87
    auntdeedee87 Posts: 706 Member
    Seriously--

    If it takes that long to just explain your situation, get out.

    It'll be hard. It'll suck, but I promise you it is for the best.

    It should NEVER be that difficult to love someone.

    At some point you have to decide to put yourself first.
  • april522
    april522 Posts: 388 Member
    LEAVE! Like someone pointed out - you don't want to bring a child into an environment like that. And ANYONE who threatens my animals is GONE.

    No one should ever treat a person the way he's treating you. Period.
  • april522
    april522 Posts: 388 Member
    That. My sister was in a terrible relationship. For 15 years. She finally got the nerve to divorce him at age 33. At 37, she found and married an awesome guy that adores her and treats her like a queen.

    Also, you're 24. Have some damn fun for cripes sake. You don't NEED to be in a relationship. Enjoy life and take your time about finding the RIGHT guy, not the first one that comes along.
    Totally agree! There is no timeline for when you should get married and have kids. I'm 33, and classmates from high school are just now having their first or 2nd babies. And never ever feel the need to do something just because you're the only one in your circle of friends that hasn't done it!
  • magj0y
    magj0y Posts: 1,911 Member
    Well I think you just answered my question...would you want to bring a child into that environment...


    Your right I did. He needs to leave it's scary thinking about getting him out tho. Agh!which will make things worse.
    [/quote]

    For your own safety, you need to leave and stay with someone. He is volatile and being alone makes you even more vulnerable, especially your dog. There is no one there to protect you, call 911 or be any kind of buffer. You also can't legally keep him off the property with out a restraining order.
  • Tangerine302
    Tangerine302 Posts: 1,509 Member
    I think sometimes when you are young, you settle for people that are around you at the time. As you get older your interests will change, more people will come into your life, and your standards will raise tremendously. If you could forward 10 years from now, you will look back thinking "why was I ever with him!" Also that "I'm so glad that I didn't settle for him, look what I have now!"

    Good luck to you! I'm sure it won't be easy at first, but in time things will get better. :)
  • yoovie
    yoovie Posts: 17,121 Member
    The very best advice I can give you is this:

    paragraph breaks.

    They can make all the difference in life.

    :heart:
  • Jeneba
    Jeneba Posts: 699 Member
    The first thing I thought was, "Does he have PTSD?" Have you talked to him about counseling?

    That being said, don't let it escalate to a point-of-no-return. You are worth more than that and putting yourself and your dog in a dangerous situation is not healthy or safe. Get out, and give yourself space. You are 24 years old. You're young and have plenty of time to start a family. There is no rush. The right man will find you. Just don't push things that weren't meant to work out. It's hard, I understand, but staying is probably the worst thing I can see you doing. No one should ever be afraid of their significant other. I know from experience it's better to be single than to be in a toxic relationship going nowhere.

    I could NOT agree more! PTSD is a strong possiblity,and may be present even if he didn't see combat - because the culture of the military is to supress any abuse that could have happened to someone while serving in the armed services.

    But - that is HIS problem.

    Please find a way to LEAVE immediately. Your personal safety is at risk, emotionally and perhaps physically. Call around to find a women's shelter in your area. They will give you private confidential counseling and will lend you emotional support while you make the transition.

    I have to say - taking these actions does not mean that you don't love him or that you CAN'T or SHOULDN'T love him - of course you do - that is why you stayed for so long. But your love for YOURSELF is more important. If and when he gets the help he needs, you can think about reconciliation. But this is a very serious situation and it will take every ounce of courage you have - but please take care of YOU!

    Thank you for trusting us here at MFP with what must be a terribly painful situation.....

    :flowerforyou:
  • corn63
    corn63 Posts: 1,580 Member
    You need to get rid of him. Evict him from your house if he's not on the title/deed/loan for the house. Get a restraining order if you have to. You do not deserve this.

    Then, seek therapy for yourself. Common denominator in the failed relationships is you. This doesn't mean you're bad or that you fail or that you're not meant to be loved. It just means you need some work. We can all use a little work. This is your time to get to know you, heal and repair and look forward to a much better and happier life.

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