Are some people ( like myself) perhaps beyond help ?

Options
2

Replies

  • yma_g
    yma_g Posts: 6 Member
    Options
    You are not beyond help, you can do this but you need to believe in yourself. Start with a few small things and that way it might not seems like such a huge step for you. Loads of little changes will end up being one big change and will give you the confidence to make any big changes you need. If you want this enough you can do it :)
  • tashaa1992
    tashaa1992 Posts: 658 Member
    Options
    I have been on and off diets for over 15 years and hated my body , binged etc etc .. Exercised sporadically never consistently!!I just wondered if perhaps some people ( like myself! ) can't be helped ? Or if some people don't want what rules their life badly enough ? If you have tried everything and are still in the same position should you just give up ? I am great at excuses and being good to others , just not myself . I do feel I am a broken record going on and on , but I know I am the only person who can do anything about it !

    Really interested in peoples thoughts, if I have not bored you silly : )
    Completely get some people won't agree with me here, but this is my opinion, I believe binge eating disorder, etc is exactly the same as anorexia because it will end in the same result, death. I am in recovery from purging type anorexia, no one has ever told me not to recover, all my family/friends/doctors have always done their best to persuade me to continue in recovery because well if I didn't, I would end up killing myself, slowly. Would you tell me to give up in recovery because it's really hard and I slip up alot? No, I doubt you would. Don't diet, change your lifestyle, do this for you and your health, only you can save yourself xxx
  • nannadawninsc
    nannadawninsc Posts: 8 Member
    Options
    no one is beyond help.....the difference between who you are and who you want to be is what you do. You can have results or excuses, but not both......is my credo. I've lost and gained the same #50 over the last year; i know it's bad for my health. We all have our hang-ups but never give up. Friend me if you want.....:drinker:
  • solyhhit
    solyhhit Posts: 97 Member
    Options
    No one is beyond help. Just some people work through the pain and others don't want to. It's a choice. if you apply yourself, eat right and exercise, you simply can't fail.

    It's just not easy. It's incredibly difficult.

    And, I'm going to sound like a total uncaring *kitten* for saying this, but either you suck it up and be strong, or you will never achieve your goals. No one is going to hold your hand while doing this, the strongest person in your life has to be you.
  • DawnieB1977
    DawnieB1977 Posts: 4,248 Member
    Options
    I don't think anyone is beyond help, but you have to want to do it first, which you clearly do, or you wouldn't be on here.

    I have always battled with my weight, from being an overweight teenager, to then losing loads when I went to uni, getting to a size 10/12 (UK) in my early 20s, then putting weight on again when I did my teacher training, losing it for my wedding, putting it on in both my pregnancies. I think my body definitely wants to be fat and jumps at every chance it gets!

    I want it badly enough though, and being thin in my 20s has shown me that it's possible, so that it was I am aiming for. I am now 2 inches off fitting into my size 12 (US size 8) jeans properly after 15 months of a healthy lifestyle.

    As others have said, it's all about a healthy lifestyle rather than a fad, so there will be days when your diet isn't perfect, or you don't exercise, but you have to make it long term.

    I find that focusing on little, manageable goals helps, as does taking measurements as well as looking at the scale.

    Good luck!
  • DawnieB1977
    DawnieB1977 Posts: 4,248 Member
    Options
    I don't think anyone is beyond help, but you have to want to do it first, which you clearly do, or you wouldn't be on here.

    I have always battled with my weight, from being an overweight teenager, to then losing loads when I went to uni, getting to a size 10/12 (UK) in my early 20s, then putting weight on again when I did my teacher training, losing it for my wedding, putting it on in both my pregnancies. I think my body definitely wants to be fat and jumps at every chance it gets!

    I want it badly enough though, and being thin in my 20s has shown me that it's possible, so that it was I am aiming for. I am now 2 inches off fitting into my size 12 (US size 8) jeans properly after 15 months of a healthy lifestyle.

    As others have said, it's all about a healthy lifestyle rather than a fad, so there will be days when your diet isn't perfect, or you don't exercise, but you have to make it long term.

    I find that focusing on little, manageable goals helps, as does taking measurements as well as looking at the scale.

    Um, sorry for posting this twice!

    Good luck!
  • vrindavano
    vrindavano Posts: 2 Member
    Options
    I just want to say it's not a diet, it's a lifestyle change. Others have said this, but for me that's the only way I can make this work. If I thought that I had to cut something out of my diet, or couldn't ever have something that I love, I'd fail in a minute. But knowing that I can have anything I want, just in moderation, makes this whole thing doable. Also, and I know this isn't the best way to go about this, I don't exercise. I work full-time, go to school full-time, and single parent two girls. Exercise will fit in my schedule when it fits, but for now I'm just starting somewhere and doing what works.

    So my advice is to just start. Don't make plans or goals if that doesn't work for you, or go ahead and make plans/goals if that works. Take it one day at a time. If you "binge" one day, don't make it two days. If you binge two days, don't make it three days. The bottom line is, just start somewhere.

    I've managed to lose over 40 pounds in 11 months this way - not nearly as fast as some on this site have lost, but a good steady pace nonetheless. And I rarely felt deprived. I found meals that fit within my calories for the day (about 1400 daily), and made it through the week at that pace, then loosened up on the weekend and ate at a higher calorie level. Not feeling deprived really helps me keep going - again, if I thought I had to restrict myself, mentally I'd have a breakdown and go right back to my old ways.

    I hope this helps. Just know that you don't have to make any drastic changes right away (or ever if you don't want to), but even by tracking your calories and reducing your average daily consumption by 200-300 per day adds up over time and can make a difference in how you look and how you feel. Good luck!
  • Espressocycle
    Espressocycle Posts: 2,245 Member
    Options
    They say drug addicts usually relapse seven times before becoming sober for the long term.
  • Enigmatica
    Enigmatica Posts: 879 Member
    Options
    Nope, you aren't beyond help. I fiddle-farted around with half-baked "diet" dreams that went nowhere fast until I found myself in a life-threatening health crisis. Then I changed my ways very quickly indeed. Learn from my mistake, please. Start taking care of yourself NOW - don't wait until you're getting blood clots in your legs like I did or have a heart attack or a stroke like some of my friends. Your weight isn't just about how you look. It's about your health.
  • ZugTheMegasaurus
    ZugTheMegasaurus Posts: 801 Member
    Options
    It doesn't sound like you've figured out the "why" yet. You think about it, but can't get through the day before you've given up.

    So...why? Why don't you do what you plan to do? Why do you make choices that you know aren't going to get you where you want to go? Why do you do things you know are unhealthy? Why do you give up?

    You need to answer these questions. It's all well and good to say, "I should lose weight," except that it's not a compelling motivator. You need to know why, for you, losing weight is more desirable than staying at the weight you are (or gaining). You need to know why you make those decisions. It doesn't sound like you've come to a point where you really believe that losing weight is better than the alternatives. Don't feel bad, that's most people who are mad at themselves for being overweight. Ever hear something like, "I was doing so well and then I ate a half-dozen cupcakes! I obviously can't lose weight!" It's not that the person can't lose weight, it's that in their mind, eating the cupcake still appears the better option than forgoing it. You won't be able to do it until you understand why you want it and why it's better than what you're doing now.

    And no, you're not beyond help. I spent the last eight years being suicidal and depressed. I loathed myself. I thought constantly about how to hurt myself, make my life miserable and painful, and how to end it. My diet consisted of Doritos, fast food, soda, and liquor. I gained 80 pounds, and just kept thinking that it'd eventually kill me if I did it long enough (without looking like your more traditional suicide means). I'm somewhat rare in the sense that I knew exactly what I was doing in putting on weight, but that didn't make it any easier when I finally crawled out of the depression and found myself in a body I didn't recognize. I'd forgotten what it was like to be normal, to want to help yourself, to want to feel good. It's a slow process getting back to good, but take a look at my ticker and you'll see the progress is very real. And it took me figuring out the answers to those questions I asked you. I had to finally face the fact that I didn't deserve what I was doing to myself, that I should be okay with feeling okay, and that I could find a way to get there.

    I was broken, as broken as people can get. And I figured it out. You can too.
  • soulfulsally
    Options
    No one is beyond hope, unless they CHOOSE to be. You're here, still in the game. Keep fighting!
  • drakechic08
    drakechic08 Posts: 156 Member
    Options
    I think a lot of it is wanting it for the right reasons. I have been a yo-yo dieter my whole life and most of the time I was wanting to change my weight etc. because of guys or because someone said something mean about me. But this time around, I realized I wanted to get healthy and enjoy life because you never know when it will end. We lost a friend on 7/20 in the shooting and it really made me take a look at my life. Now I'm not perfect, but working out and eating better has become more of a habit than it ever has. I have always enjoyed hiking, but I would only do 1-3 miles. Now a short hike for me is 4-6 and that was right off the bat from not working out for a few months due to back injuries. I think you need to evaluate why you want to get healthy and think about what things might be holding you back without you realizing it. Everyone is completely different about what motivates them and why they want and need to get healthier, its about finding what is right for you.
  • DebbieLyn63
    DebbieLyn63 Posts: 2,650 Member
    Options
    Thank you for the replies .... I suppose I can't want it badly enough although it is all I think about. Not sure that makes sense it doesn't really does it ? You would think if something bothers you that much you would make a change ......

    You answered your own question. You don't want it badly enough to do what it takes to succeed. You, like many of us, want the easy way, the quick fix. But there is no magical pill to take. The only way you will succeed is by making goals and figuring out how to attain those goals. Wishes and dreams don't get you anywhere but disappointed.

    Commitment and dedication get you success.
  • Dealsdreamy
    Options
    Thank you all for reading my post and taking the time to reply , I really do appreciate all the responses and so many of them if not all of them are so true. If any of you are not overloaded with friends already i would love some more so please add ...

    I wish I knew what stops me I really do .. I know I am the only one who can change things . I am lucky that I enjoy fruit and vegetables and most healthy foods , rarely drink alcohol , but eat loads of junk and carbs and struggle to exercise after my 12 hour day , plus the evening/ early morning bingeing has got l out of control. As I am exhausted ( excuse again ) , I am genuinely shattered though when my working day ends .

    Thank you for reading : )
  • maricash
    maricash Posts: 280 Member
    Options
    I've been overweight my whole adult life (ranging from ten pounds overweight to morbidly obese). I thought for years that I would always be fat, and that might end up being true. I am still fat now and who knows if I'll get to my goal weight. I do know that this time feels different. For one thing, I have MFP. Being able to log everything I eat has helped me so much and reading other people's stories on the forums has made me realize that it is possible to do this. Even now.

    I don't know your background so I can't give specific advice (i.e. Are you a fairly thin person who has dieted to be even thinner? Or a morbidly obese person who has lost and gained the same 50 pounds over and over again? Or somewhere in between?). I will say that the keys for me have been patience, quantification, and not dieting. That is, recording everything, tracking my weight every day, not getting discouraged when things don't happen as quickly as I want, and not going in for any fad diets or quick fixes.

    I hope this helps. Good luck to you.


    Thank you for your reply . I am somewhere in the middle I suppose . Always on a diet and fail by lunchtime ... I think joining this site will help . So much interesting reading . Just unsure of where to start ?! Good luck on your journey too .

    This post could be a good place to start: http://www.myfitnesspal.com/topics/show/654536-in-place-of-a-road-map-2-0-revised-7-2-12

    It has a lot of good advice. I use a slightly modified version of the method he outlines and it's been working well.
  • lallaloolly
    lallaloolly Posts: 228 Member
    Options
    consistency and patience is the only thing that works over the long haul. you need to approach health and fitness as a way of life, not a quick fix. if you do something every single day that moves you towards your goals, the results will come. you might not see results every day, but they will come.

    make a list of things you can do instead of binge (anything and everything from laundry to writing a novel to rearranging your closet to cleaning the ceilings... projects, projects, projects! my house is never cleaner and my yard is never more manicured than when i try to stop a bad habit (i.e. like smoking!).
    make a list of ways you can incorporate fitness into your day, even if it is in 10-15 minute spurts. get creative. if you sit down and think about it, i bet you can work 45 minutes of fitness into your day.
    then, get started. do something every day that makes you fitter than the day before, and you will get on the right track.
  • shygur
    shygur Posts: 171 Member
    Options
    Thank you for the replies .... I suppose I can't want it badly enough although it is all I think about. Not sure that makes sense it doesn't really does it ? You would think if something bothers you that much you would make a change ......

    Not necessarily, I had problem psychologically that kept me from attaining my goal. Once I began to deal with those I am being able to make the behavioral changes to my lifestyle that will allow me eventually to be free of the fat. Don't give up but you might try some professional help.

    Rebecca
  • GCLyds
    GCLyds Posts: 206 Member
    Options
    Only you can decide that. It doesnt matter what anyone here says. Are you beyond help or are you worth the effort?
  • fevengirmay
    Options
    I understand how you feel, I was really overweight before I decided to make a change, but ilke you I was on again off again. I lost some weight through diet and exercise once i started using my fitness pal, but then i didn't keep up with it and I've gained 8 pounds. I'm back on the program, but this time I'm taking it for what it is a life change. No more crazy diets because they just want to make you binge after a while, make realistic goals and try to stay motivated. I know it's hard, but no one is beyond help I've been dealing with weight issues for over 10 years, and I am now really learning that you have to treat your body with love and care, and take things one day at a time. :smile:
  • Spiritwarrior3000
    Spiritwarrior3000 Posts: 322 Member
    Options
    Your body will do anything you want it to do. Dont let your mind take over, you are in control!