Divorce and emotional eating

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Alexstrasza
Alexstrasza Posts: 619 Member
in Motivation and Support
I feel so devastated right now.

I'm going through a divorce (it was my choice) and it's causing my emotions and stress to go crazy. These mixed up emotions are causing me to eat emotionally.

I just can't seem to stop shoving things in my mouth. I don't know how to make it stop. *cries*
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Replies

  • ethansmug
    ethansmug Posts: 159 Member
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    Not going through a divorce, but did lose someone I thought was someone else (that makes sense in my head) and I chose to use the emotion to get back in the gym.
    I was already doing better with the eating and all that and was losing weight, but when this happened I let the emotion push me into the gym instead of the fridge.

    I know it's rough and probably hurts, but use that pain, or hate, or whatever it is to your advantage.
  • xTenaciousJx
    xTenaciousJx Posts: 555
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    i agree, use this as a way to better yourself...if you have to be mad...to get you to get motivated then do so. think of your baby and that should motivated you...you need to be healthy for you both now. :)

    ((hugs))
    you so can do this!
  • healthyMSk
    healthyMSk Posts: 31 Member
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    I'm the same boat, I'm actually taking a break from packing since I'm the one moving out. In my head I know ending it is the right thing, but taking your life apart is miserable regardless. I seem to have come out of the mad as hell stage & now seem to be crying all the time which is not what I want to be doing.
    I'm trying to stay away from having acess to food as much as I can. I know there are going to be days where I give in to try and deal with the pain, I just have to make sure they are not the norm.
  • thomasxaviersayles
    thomasxaviersayles Posts: 47
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    I know what that experience is like and I had to stop believing that somehow feeling better by eating senselessly was going to make me feel better. I ate because of the emotional trauma and for a few minutes or an hour I did feel better but then like a drug addict, I would get another fix (food). I had to decide that to love myself, and more importantly, the circumstance isn't who I am, it is just an experience that will pass. Focus elsewhere on good thoughts, virtuous subjects and things, on whatever is good. Secondly, go do something, don't be idle, maybe volunteer your time whenever you are feeling bad, go help someone that is needing support and care.
  • kylepauljohnson
    kylepauljohnson Posts: 10
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    Sorry to hear that. When I went through my divorce several years ago I was quite the opposite. I didn't want to eat and only wanted to go run cause I needed to think and kill stress.
  • kenazfehu
    kenazfehu Posts: 1,188 Member
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    The only way to stop is to - wait for it - stop. There will never be an end of things to eat about.

    For me, it was recently finding out that son was using meth in our home. We asked him to leave and now I'm worried sick. I could be stuffing my face, but I'm not. I deserve better than that. And so do you.

    Hugs; I know how stressful divorce can be, having gone through it with parents.
  • neverstray
    neverstray Posts: 3,845 Member
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    Hmmm. When I am impacted emotionally like that, I'm the opposite. I don't eat hardly at all. So, I don't relate to that aspect. Food does not appeal at all because it's so tasteless and I don't care if I eat or not. So, i choose not to. But, I can relate to the divorce part. I hope you are able to hold it together and stay the course. When I went through my divorce, the only thing that kept me sane was the gym. I went everyday, and just killed it. Got all my emotions out there. It worked well.

    If something really bad happened, even though I have a gym in my house, I'd probably join again and do it all over again. There was something great about having a place to go and release all my pent up emotions.
  • KittieLea
    KittieLea Posts: 1,156 Member
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    I went through a divorce (his doing) a few years ago, and the only thing to keep me from overeating was the thought that maybe he'd see what he was missing out on when I lost weight. Stupid idea, the divorce happened, but at least I didn't gain! Now I've made it to goal the healthy way-eating right and exercising. This time I did it for myself too.
    Keep your head up.
  • sevsmom
    sevsmom Posts: 1,172 Member
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    I was on the other side of the divorce. Didn't want it AT ALL. But he was "in love" with someone else, more wonderful, younger, more fun. . . .until she dumped him.

    In any event, I couldn't eat any thing. I survived on under 1,000 calories daily, easily. Somedays were probably under 500. My hair fell out. I looked like a walking skeleton.

    Neither way of handling the stress is good for our bodies. Older and wiser now, I strongly encourage you to take those emotions for a walk. . .a nice long walk.
  • azure7
    azure7 Posts: 136 Member
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    Emotional eating is something that many, many people struggle with. Try mind distraction techniques: calling someone, reading, cleaning...whatever you can find that will work for you. Taking walks in a pretty place often does wonders for me. The endorphins released during exercise will help tremendously.
  • johnny059qn
    johnny059qn Posts: 163 Member
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    1. Log everything you've eaten.
    2. Own it.
    3. Go work it off.
  • Roderunr
    Roderunr Posts: 65 Member
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    Sorry to hear this - unfortunately, this is also how I am...my husband and I are going through some "things" and the "D" word has come up more then once. I immediately go to food as my comfort. As easy as it seems for some people to put your attention to better things (working out, walking, keeping busy), I know for "us" it's NOT easy. It's an ugly, emotional, binge-eating battle.

    Good luck to you and if you need another friends support, please add me :flowerforyou:
  • TraciStivers
    TraciStivers Posts: 116 Member
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    I divorced in 2008, like you, it was my choice, That didn't make it easier though. I gained about 25 poounds during that time, and am just now getting to where I am really committed to losing it. I regret letting him have that control over me. He did not force the food into my mouth, but he caused those emotions and the weight was a result. I will never, ever let a man have that type of control or effect on me again. I am my own woman. I am choosing to be beautiful, healthy and active. Not only for me, but for my daughter. I let him impact my life long enough, it's my life now.
  • Brianna72994
    Brianna72994 Posts: 887
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    Use it as motivation!

    Youre newly single, you want to look hot!
  • SherryR1971
    SherryR1971 Posts: 1,170 Member
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    I just did the same thing, let the stress take over and I now have to go work off the pepsi and m&m's I consumed...this is a never ending battle...we just take it one step at a time....
  • MommaKit79
    MommaKit79 Posts: 852
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    My husband actually stopped eating during his divorce from his ex wife and lost weight.

    BUT, I have know a LOT of people that have dealt with this...my mother being one of them. Long story short, my dad cheated on her and caused a LOT of emotional issues and such!! I was able to get her to stop her emotional eating by getting her out walking instead. She started slowly but surely feeling better with that and going to see a Therapist once a week.

    You are going to have your down times and know that is normal for everyone. In my depression (right after my parents split) I turned to ice cream but, I also spent a good amount of time walking from class to class at University.

    Dig down deep and know that YOU are better then this and that YOU can manage. It will be rough and it will take some time but, try to remember after you eat that food, do you REALLY feel better? Does that food REALLY comfort you into feeling better? My mom realized that food was a "right now" feeling of relief but as soon as it was gone, the feelngs came back. After a walk, she felt better for a longer period of time and the more she walked, the better overall she felt. Food cant have the kind of affect.

    Again, good luck going through this rough situation and know that this is normal for everyone! The affects from even just a walk can last much longer after the walk is done (especially when youc an get a good cry in at the same time!!!!). Food is temporary...hence the reason you keep going back.
  • MissAnjy
    MissAnjy Posts: 2,480 Member
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    My divorce is about to finalize in the upcoming months (been separated a year and 3 months now) and in that year, I put on 30lbs.
    I had also started a full-time job (was a SAHM prior to) & began raising my children alone with VERY little help from him. It took me an entire year to figure out a routine, but i'm now set in my new ways, and i'm making it happen.

    My divorce was also "my-doing" but obviously not because I "wanted to".....nobody goes into a marriage WANTING to divorce, but I had to save my children, and myself from it all. Anyways, do what works for you. Give yourself a SLIGHT break. If you need to take 2 weeks to not log, not think, not exercise and just let yourself feel the emotions and pull through to the other side...DO THAT.

    Yeah, I took almost an entire year off, and I gained weight back, but it was the healing that I needed. Now, i'm in a much better place and I'm READY to pull myself together and i'm able to do it in a healthy way. I'm not over eating & i'm not under eating....i'm just...eating. I'm exercising and I'm losing again.

    I had to take the time for me. I had to figure myself out. I had to figure out a new routine & how to do it ALL on my own now (with 2 kids) while working full time. It took me a long while to figure it out, but I don't regret it. Here I am now, better than ever.

    Keep your head up. Keep moving forward.
  • audigal2008
    audigal2008 Posts: 1,129 Member
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    I too am going through a divorce...I find myself not eating enough...but I have issues even on the best of days! Feel free to add me all u people going through the same thing...support and motivation from friends is really important to kick our butts in gear
    Take care though! I hear "things will get better/easier" Im waiting!
  • gailmelanie
    gailmelanie Posts: 210 Member
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    I feel so devastated right now.

    I'm going through a divorce (it was my choice) and it's causing my emotions and stress to go crazy. These mixed up emotions are causing me to eat emotionally.

    I just can't seem to stop shoving things in my mouth. I don't know how to make it stop. *cries*
    Recognize that behavior for what it is: Pain control! Now choose a different method. Schedule your grieving and do it at that time whether you feel like it or not at that moment. If you want to cry or scream or *kitten*, make sure you're undisturbed and keep doing it for the allotted time until you feel some relief and want to stop. I would say it isn't necessary to keep up appearances, either. If you are distraught at work, express that. Sob at your desk if you need to. Call in sick if you need to and do the first suggestion listed here. Schedule an appointment with a crisis counselor ASAP if you haven't already done that. You are in crisis and you need help, so take care of yourself and get it. This discomfort WILL get better and you have the opportunity to learn from this, change your behavior, better yourself and be stronger. Take the opportunity. Eventually, if you do all that, you will be able to look at how far you've come, feel fantastic about it, take pride in yourself and your accomplishments and go forward with confidence. How do I know all this? I went through it, too (my husband left me for another woman,) did everything I've suggested and was lent a hand by a number of people who recognized the crisis I was in and helped me see that so I could take care of it. I won't say it's easy or comfortable, but it can be done, and it can be done without stuffing your face to assuage your pain.
  • MireyGal76
    MireyGal76 Posts: 7,334 Member
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    My divorce (my choice) has left me wanting to emotional eat... instead I choose to emotional run and emotional box.

    The heavy bag and boxing gloves downstairs have helped me more than I can ever express.

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