the fake 'I'm so fat' comments

As some one who was told at 43 pounds heavier "You look fine" while I felt like crap, I can tell you the weight hurt on me. If I annoyed anyone with my complaining about my weight or "fat", I apologize.

However, I wish some one had said, you are welcome to come walk with me at lunch or have you tried the gym in our building... anything that would have been a tiny step to feeling better...

It doesn't annoy me when someone fishes for compliments (heck we all need a hug now and then) , but your post reminds me to not to make my weight everyone else's issue..

This! People have been telling me that I don't need to lose anymore weight about 30 pounds ago. I think its funny when I'm told how great I look... but I looked good before and didn't NEED to lose weight. I don't think 50 pounds is vanity weight.

Currently I feel great and am finally comfortable enough in my own skin to start showing this new shape I've worked so hard for even though I'm still not where I want to be. I don't think I complain about the weight I still have to lose and only fish for compliments from people I haven't seen in months and haven't mentioned my weight loss. I think I have another 10-15 pounds to lose to be at my goal which I'm willing to put the time and effort into. Please don't tell me I don't need to lose weight. I'd rather hear "the last 10-15 pounds are the hardest to lose".

I get the same thing from one of the girls I work with. I've been successful, moreso than I ever expected and the weight HAS come off... BUT this time is totally different because I am losing it right. I workout and eat totally different now. This lady sees me MAYBE two times a month and each of the last 3 or 4 times has said to me "well I don't want to see you lose much more... you don't have anything left to lose". YES I do! Thanks for encouraging me to YOUR goal but how about keeping it up until I reach MY goal since it is MY BODY...

I just tell them they're hot.

Hey, if they're fishing for it, it makes them happy.
If they're not fishing for it, and really believe it, they need to hear the truth.

Either way, costs me nothing.

In my opinion these people are expressing their insecurities (we all have them). Most people don't think I'm fat but I'm at the upper end of the weight chart for my height and bone structure, I'm not happy with my weight and I'm well practised at hiding it with clothing and 3" heels. I went to visit a good friend I hadn't seen for a while and she told me she had gained some weight; when I saw her I realized she gained about 100 lbs and I could see she was very unhappy. I went home thinking I would never complain about my weight again but yet here I am. Everyone has their own way of seeing themselves and often they are not thinking about others when they make those comments (that can be hurtful) they are thinking about their own dissatisfaction.

You know I use to get annoyed with this comment by people thinner then myself. After losing so much weight and becoming one of the "Thinner" people in my friends, I understand it now. Even thin people have days where they "FEEL" fat. Sometimes they say it without thinking about the other person. I still have days when I feel fat and have to be reminded that I'm not. My BMI says I'm average but I still FEEL fat some days. Sometimes I feel like I gained all my weight back. Sometimes we have to sit back and wonder "Maybe they are just having a day where they feel fat" We all have "Fat" days even if we aren't fat.

Statistics have shown that most women perceive themselves to be heavier than the actually are. I remember when I was pregnant with my second child the doctor told me that I should gain more weight because I had started my pregnancy underweight. I was so surprised to hear that I had been underweight. I honestly had no idea!

In 1984, a study of 33,000 women, conducted by Glamour magazine, found that 75% of the women thought they were overweight, even though only 25% actually were, and in fact, 30% were underweight (Bordo, 56).

The statistics on how many American women are dieting at any given time vary widely, but have been shown in studies to range from 25% to 85%. One study found that 60% of average weight girls, and 18% of underweight girls, between the ages of nine and eighteen were dieting. Another found that 90% of seventeen-year-old girls were dieting (Tso).

It's all relative. Fat for that person might be 5-10lbs extra or just not toned, where for someone else it's 40lbs extra or more. I've been on both sides of this. Annoyed at the skinny person for saying they're "fat" and annoying to my heavier-than-me friends when *I* complain about being fat.

While I agree with several posters on here that it could be a body image issue within the person; I have to admit I agree with the OP especially being related to an anorexic/bulemic. (my sister)

She intentionally starves herself, will only eat at most once a day when she does eat (if she doesn't throw it up), and has a whole slew of medical issues b/c of the effects of the diets, pills, smoking (amongst other things) she has put her body through. She knows that being 109 lbs at 5'0 tall is not healthy FOR HER (considering probabaly 20lbs of that is her boob job) as her Dr's (she has more than one) have repeatedly told her. She is of the mind frame she looks good this way, even though she complains she has no muscles, is weak and tired, and has all this loose skin. Um?!?!?!

She has not always been this way, it was not until about 2 years ago she just decided she was fat and going to be skinny (notice I didn't say healthy) from now on. And so it started from there (even though she's been sick with health issues for 14 years now). And mind you, she will say things to my mother and myself (who are both heavy), "I"m not eating that, I'll get fat" REGARDLESS of what the dish is. Turns her nose up to me being vegetarian, turns her nose up to my parents eating mostly what the forums would consider Paleo, turns her nose up to anything and everything out there that could or would be healthy for her.

So YES it irritates the *kitten* out of me when I hear skinny folks say these things, when they are more or less fishing. There are a FEW genuine folks who feel fat b/c they never lost the sight of themselves as fat, but in my personal experience 99% are just looking to make those kinds of comments to feel better around the truly fat people they are saying it to.

Back when i was anorexic and barely 100lbs I viewed myself as weighing more than I do now. (by the way i'm over the anorexia thing, losing it the right way now) But I haaaaated when people told me I wasn't fat, because in my eyes they were just trying to not hurt my feelings. Not gonna say there aren't people out there that just do it for compliments, but from personal experience I can understand it, but it does annoy me too lol

I've known people like this. It gets sooooo frustrating. I can't stand listening to them. :grumble: