How do I stop cutting myself?



  • nikilis
    nikilis Posts: 2,318 Member
    so what you are saying is that you want to stop cutting yourself, and you know kinda how to do it, but its not bad enough to sort out the finances to do it.

    you already know the answer. so why ask?

    Uhh I actually have no idea how to do it...?
    I have been to counsellors before and they didn't help at all?

    have you googled it?
  • PixelTreason
    PixelTreason Posts: 227 Member
    I only stopped when my boyfriend finally threatened to leave me if I didn't. It wasn't just the threat, though - he helped me learn and utilize better ways to cope with my feelings (or lack thereof) than self harm. He was there for all the 3 AM freak-outs and craziness. He didn't just threaten, he helped make self harm less of an option.

    You need to find what works for you, but I suggest seeing a professional (again. Keep searching till you find one that DOES help). Someone you can talk things out with is a huge help. If you won't see a professional, at least have a good, solid, *calm* friend that understands that you might need to talk and is there to help you when you feel you might harm yourself and can give you support.

    Good luck to you!
  • Aello11
    Aello11 Posts: 312 Member
    not a cutter, but went through some really dark times.... a counselor!!!!!! doesn't have to be a pyschiatrist or even a psychologist.... mine was a Nun - (and I am not Catholic) - I owe that woman my life. (30+ years and I still thank the Gods for putting her in my path)
  • fmocc
    fmocc Posts: 1 Member
    If as you say this is a genuine request for assistance then contact Mental health services in your local area. They will be able to advise you as to where you can access a DBT or dialectical behaviour therapy program. This will help you to equip yourself with some alternative distress management skills. The mh crisis line in canberra can be contacted on 1800 629 354 or google mental health and Canberra for more specific service information. These services are free.
  • Fspillane
    Fspillane Posts: 1 Member
    Please get to a therapist!!! You have tried to be strong on your own for too long.
  • MichelleLaree13
    MichelleLaree13 Posts: 865 Member
    not a cutter, but went through some really dark times.... a counselor!!!!!! doesn't have to be a pyschiatrist or even a psychologist.... mine was a Nun - (and I am not Catholic) - I owe that woman my life. (30+ years and I still thank the Gods for putting her in my path)

    A church member is a great idea if you need someone to lean on.
  • EvgeniZyntx
    EvgeniZyntx Posts: 24,208 Member
    Australian resources:

    Go see

    There are a bunch of contact numbers in the back, talk to them.

    Reposting this since it seems it was ignored.
    There are resources in Australia, contact them.
  • tyrantduck
    tyrantduck Posts: 631 Member
    Been there. I have hundreds of scars on my upper arms, hands, legs, and chest. The last time I cut was back in the beginning of February. I haven't felt a need to do it since then. I started when I was 16 and it was very bad back then, but I'm nearing 26 now and it's slowed down to nearly nothing.

    What made me stop is that I realized I was a better person than that. Why destroy my body over the way other people are treating me or over how I may feel at that moment in time? Yes, I still had the urge but at first, I kept a wide rubber band around my wrist, and anytime I thought about cutting I would snap it against my skin a few times. Never made me bleed, but it hurt like hell and took the urge to cut away.

    I did eventually make it to a doctor and I'm on potent anti-depressants and anti-anxiety medications. They keep those thoughts out of my head for the most part. You really do need to find a way to afford a doctor. I don't trust psychologists/psychiatrists either and have refused to see one since I was 17. They have never helped me. So honestly, I think a trip to a GP would do you a lot of good. They're able to prescribe medications for you, though you'll have to go back every month for a little while if the dose needs adjustments. It's the only thing that will truly help you in the long run. Find a way to get there. Don't make excuses for not being able to go. You MUST find a way.
  • vidvox
    vidvox Posts: 62 Member
    I used to cut because I didn't have any healthy ways of dealing with intense anxiety. Counselling certainly helped, but I also got a lot of help from the book/workbook "Mind over Mood". Might want to check if your local library has it. Best of luck!
  • RVfrog
    RVfrog Posts: 217 Member
    If you go to a church or there is a church near by maybe go talk to the pastor....tell him and ask if there is any help he can find for you since you can not pay for any. You just might be surprised at how much a church could help you. Just my 2 cents worth.
  • Bufite
    Bufite Posts: 55 Member
    I did this for years and talked to a bunch of counsellors who really didn't help. I haven't done it now for about 7 years. Things that did help were anti-depressants (I know this is controversial but not everyone responds to talking therapy) and a lot of time. It's not a case of talking yourself out of it, or trying to be positive. Eventually I sort of "grew out of it", which is not to suggest that you are being immature, but the passage of time does make one look at things differently.

    I used to feel torn all the time, between feeling guilty about doing something so destructive, but not wanting to let go of the pain relief that it provided. I wouldn't say I looked back on it fondly at all, but self-harm has a purpose and that's what makes it so hard to stop.

    There are lots of resources on the internet with tips and advice for distracting yourself . There were a couple of discussion forums too, that I used to talk to people when I was in a really bad place. Maybe do a bit of research.

    I have to agree that you ought to see a doctor though.
  • BlueInkDot
    BlueInkDot Posts: 702 Member
    Hey. Just wanted to say I'm really sorry that you're going through this. It sucks. :( *hug*

    I agree with a lot of what was already posted. One thing that I think will help is keeping a journal on how you're feeling. Sometimes writing it down helps you to put it into perspective. I really like the blog feature on MFP because it does that for me. Then my friends can also read it and give me their 2 cents and support which makes me smile.

    If you're not comfortable with that, just a regular paper journal, or maybe a blog that isn't public? I'm sure there's some sites out there that do that. :)

    Hopefully from writing down your feelings you'll start to see patterns, realize things, make breakthroughs, and maybe get up the courage to see a doctor or counselor about it, and maybe find a way to pay for it too.

    Don't worry. You'll make it through this. At the other end of this struggle is a life full of happiness and strength. You WILL get there. It's just a matter of taking one step at a time through this so that you can come out the other end a stronger person.

    We're here for you. <3
  • I don't know if anyone has mentioned it already, but what you could try to do is to do the "Butterfly project". All you have to do is draw one, or more, butterflies on the place you usually cut. Name it after a person that is really close to you and wish for you to get better. As long as you don't cut, the butterfly stays alive. If you do cut, you kill it. It sounds rather silly, but it's actually a really good way to stay motivated on the path to recovery. I suggest you try it!

    And if you ever feel like talking privately about it to anyone, feel free to send me a message. I've been there myself, and I know that it's really hard to do it alone.
  • LadyIvysMom
    LadyIvysMom Posts: 391 Member
    I have been doing it for years so I know what you’re going through, at least somewhat. I can also tell you that almost all people just do not understand it unless they’ve been through it. I’ve been cutting and otherwise self injuring since I was approx. 8 years old (and I’m 36 now) so I get it. Just for different reasons than you do, I think.

    For me, cutting and/or biting myself is an instinctive snap reaction to certain noises (I am autistic with severe sensory disorder and certain sounds trigger the knee jerk reaction in me to SI). I literally can’t control it, I just do it in the moment. But whatever the reason you are doing it, you need to isolate what triggers you and learn to deal with that.

    I know what sounds trigger me so I block or avoid them as best as I can. Therapy has not worked for me, nor has medication. Avoidance/Blocking is the only thing I’ve found that works.

    When I was a child, I used to try and block out the sounds of certain family members voices with electronics (fans, a/c units, and when I could, tv/music). I still use these techniques today when I have to be around people who make noises that set me off. In public, I block out the noises with silicone earplugs which I have to wear almost constantly. It’s awkward and looks ugly but it’s better than snapping.

    This stuff works about 80% of the time. The other 20% of the time is hell on earth. No one takes it seriously, because people don’t take mental illness seriously, I’ve found.

    It effects every aspect of life. I am in a position now where I will very likely be forced to quit my good paying job because I am forced to sit next to a woman who is very loud and makes a horrible combination of all of the noises that set me off on a daily basis. Even with a doctor note outlining my illness, my employers have pretty much said there is nothing they can do, they already moved me away from two other people who made these noises, both of whom have since been fired. They won’t move me again.

    They don’t understand that I can’t “simply ignore her”. I am driven to cut at work, every day. My arms look like they’ve been through a shredder.

    Yesterday was so bad I got really dizzy and today my arms are burning from the cuts. :( The best way to describe it is that the noises are painful to me, just not in a tangible way and by self injury, I relieve some of that pain by refocusing it on something tangible.

    I try to avoid keeping sharps at my desk because of this, but unfortunately when I don’t have sharps available I fall back on biting. But if you don’t fall back on another form of SI, it might be a good idea to remove sharps from the area where you normally cut. I know it’s not always practical but it’s better than cutting.

    So in closing, learn what triggers you, avoid/block what triggers you or otherwise learn to cope with it, and remove the means to cut (razors, etc..) from the area where you do it.

    ETA: I wrote this response at work. In the time it took me to write it, I bit myself to the point of bleeding 3 times. I am listening to loud music on headphones but I can still hear the woman who sets me off hacking and coughing over the music. :(
  • cebreisch
    cebreisch Posts: 1,340 Member
    I was always scared to talk to counselors too. I saw the show "Ruby" and she went to counselors over her food issues, and when I started on my journey to lose weight, one of my doctors told me it would be a good idea. It's been very helpful.
  • Steven
    Steven Posts: 593 MFP Moderator
    Hi Folks,

    I hope the OP has found the responses to this thread helpful.

    As discussions of this nature in the public forums can be have a triggering effect on others, I will be locking the thread at this point.

    Those who wish to continue supporting the OP, please take up the conversation via wall posts or PMs.

    And please remember posts by members, moderators and admins should not be considered medical advice and no guarantee is made against accuracy.

    MyFitnessPal Staff
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