Advice on helping my 11 year old lose weight

More is caught than taught...why should he stick to it when u and your husband don't? Be the change u want to see. Also u buy the groceries u control what he eats..make him workout with u and your husband make it a family affair;) Eat lean,green,whole grains and plenty of veggies drink nothing but water to start with the occasional diet coke..be too determined and make it happen for not just your son but for yourself and your husband;) We all Believe in U!!;)

I don't have a lot of time so can't read all the responses but here's my experience. My oldest DD(13) is overweight. Her dr. ran tests to make sure there was no underlying problems(because she gained a lot quickly...puberty maybe?) But anyway, once I started getting healthier things started changing for everyone. I don't have snacks(junk food) in the house on a regular basis. I mean sure we have snacks sometimes but I will go out and buy them when we have them(not sitting in the house)...I try and make healthier options or at least healthier alternatives to snacks (ie. applesauce instead of oil, egg white instead of egg in a cake). I quit making extra, so if we have cookies I make enough for everyone to have snack and no extras(even if it means wasting dough). I make much healthier meals, quit buying soda and when I go walking EVERYONE goes. They have a choice to walk or ride their bikes but they all have to go. When we started there were a lot of complaints but now...they love it. We went 7 miles the other day and no complaints from anyone but the over tired 22 month old(she was in the wagon). She has lost 12 pounds without her doing anything on her own by choice. That is from the healthier food and the walks. Once she lost about 10 pounds she got motivated and now makes her own choice to workout, or go for a bike ride, etc. I would not recommend any kind of diet at all. Just change the way the whole family eats. My husband and I decided it was not a choice. It's not about who is overweight and whose not, eating healthier benefits everyone's health regardless of weight. Being active is the same, not just for overweight, it benefits all. My kids love to play on the scale and I've noticed losses in all of them. My husband has lost about 10lbs just from our eating habits being changed(he's not home most of the time we go walking/riding).
I did it this way...as a family, because I didn't want to hurt self-images or to make it seem like only fat people had to work on eating better and being more active. Everyone should strive to be healthier regardless of weight. At the same time I won't ban all junk food etc, because I want them to know it's okay to enjoy snacks, etc....just in moderation. If you are eating healthy most of the time then junk once in awhile is what it is supposed to be...a special treat.

Just my 2cents


PS...I too made my daughter a MFP acct(per her request), after meals her and I log her food and that is it. She doesn't access it by herself, doesn't even know the password. It is an eye opener and a great learning tool. She was amazed at some things she thought weren't too bad for you.

You're right, MFP is not for kdis . . . . but don't you think some kind of calorie monitoring would be a good idea? He would be considered overweight if he was an adult. . . this is not jsut a few lbs to 'grow in to' we're talking about here.

No, 11 year olds shouldn't be counting calories. I honestly believe that's a fast track to an eating disorder or just replacing one unhealthy relationship with food with another.

Wouldn't it be better to just correct the basics and establish a better routine and relationship with food? Where the new normal is healthy food and treats are just that....a treat? Where physical activity is normal and an expected part of the day? Where food isn't stressful and the whole family spends more time together?

If those things happen, he would never need to count a calorie - he wouldn't end up where we all are today.

My son's pediatrician insisted that he count calories...he wasn't eating enough and he needed to be responsible for that...So I totally disagree that an 11 yo should be counting calories...you should make them FEEL BAD about themselves..but they do need to learn to be responsible for what they put in their bodies.

Increase your family activity level... Hikes, bike rides, yard work, and other activities to get him moving. Try cooking meals for your family and preparing healthy lunches. The junk foods they serve in cafeterias at schools across America are not going to do him any favors. Eat together as a family at breakfast and at dinner. Make sure that meals are nutritious and lower calorie to help lower his weight or at least give exercise a chance to burn off some pounds over time. If he has a TV in his room take it out... Get the family together and fight obesity as a caring unit rather than as individuals. Create kid friendly meals that are lower calorie options... Breakfast burritos (la tortilla factory makes very high fiber, lower carb tortillas, egg whites, lean ham or turkey bacon, pico de gallo salsa, and greek yogurt instead of sour cream)... Breakfast sandwiches using orowheat sandwich thins(Kirkland brand are even cheaper and identical)... Greek Yogurt and Fruit Smoothies or Protein Smoothies (use greek yogurt or protein mix and water together with your favorite fruits to make wholesome delicious smoothies... Bananas that are starting to get too brown get cut in half and frozen on a cookie sheet then transferred to ziploc bags. They are then used with frozen strawberries, mango, peaches, pineapple and other fruits in smoothies. We have a Vitamix blender so it can handle the frozen fruit and turns it into a nice smoothie or with less liquid sorbet for desserts. Lunches can be difficult but plan some snacks and wholesome sandwiches for the "little guy" and everyone else as well. Planning is the hard part, but once you have you will succeed. Kid favorites for dinners can be made lower cal by watching what you use as ingredients... Cauliflower crust for pizza (look up the recipe - it actually works), tacos - same idea as above for breakfast but use lean beef, chicken or shrimp and increase the number of vegetables, pastas - choose whole grain pasta and lighten up the sauce by making your own from scratch, burgers and fries - lean beef or turkey, sandwich thin instead of bun, and sweet potato fries... Some ideas to help make a plan and try it, then adjust as necessary... You plan to fail when you fail to plan. So just plan and adjust.

Maybe this will help. Take him to the store have him pick some healthy snacks and place them on a fridge shelf that is his. Also let him choose between two items for dinner. I have two kids when I empower them its not so much of a struggle. Hope this helps:)

What about having him be more involved with planning? Like he gets to plan and help cook a meal or two a week and the rule is it needs to be a healthy balanced one? It could entail you researching recipes as a family, talking about what makes a meal healthy, talking about portions, etc.

Or maybe he has to pick and plan a family activity each day (or several tines a week) with parameters like everyone has to be moving and it has to last x amount of time and everyone has to participate. It could be a walk, a bike ride, soccer in the yard, Wii, basketball at the local school/park... Maybe by feeling in control and responsible and getting to order around the adults in his life a little, he'd be more inclined to want to participate.

You could try getting him involved in a team sport that will add some sort of accountability to his routine. Even if he wants to give up after a week he will have other people counting on him to stick it out. You could even start with a sport that doesn't require as much movement (like baseball) and work up to more active sports like swimming, soccer, tennis, etc. I think he really just needs to build up his confidence. He's probably feeling inadequate seeing other people do better than he is, or not seeing the results he wants right away. This is a great opportunity to teach him persistence and tenacity, not to mention get him in the habit of being active. You could try a family activity like bike riding, walking, sledding in the winter- just something that gives you family time. That way it's not always up to him to motivate himself. I know that when I started getting back into shape it was incredibly difficult to do on my own, but I went to the gym with mom a couple times, I got a personal trainer for a few sessions and after that I could motivate myself. But it's not easy adding exercise into your routine when you're not used to it. It can seem daunting and exhausting, and sitting on the couch seems much easier. But if you get him into a team sport he'll be able to make friends, be active without feeling like he's working out, and it will build his confidence. As far as nutrition, you'll never be able to control everything he eats, and constantly denying him treats will make him want to sneak them. I'm not saying load up on the sugar, but maybe every once in a while let him have something he wants in addition to the good food (and make sure the treats aren't a reward, but a treat. Don't make him think those foods are a prize for living well!) He's still growing, so I think getting him active will be the best thing. He's already very tall for his age, and he's going to shoot up like a sprout during puberty. He might even thin out if he doesn't gain anymore weight. I'd say keep up the home cooking and good nutrition, add in sports, and let puberty do its work.

I am in sort of the sme place. My 11 year old daughter started packing on the pounds when we took her off of ADHD meds (weren't working anyway) and then moved 3 months later, 800 miles from home. She gained almost 50 lbs in a year. Given I gained 40 and my husband gained 60.

They way we solved it was to all get on board with good health as a family. Planning healthy meals, especially school lunches. Finding other things to do on special occasions besides eat. For example, today is halloween, so instead of coming home with a giant sack of goodies, I got her a little bit of her favorites and we are going to a movie. She does Zumba Wii with me and has even joined in on 30DS. On occasion I have had to be a real cheerleader in this. Keep her spirits up. Make it fun instead of a bummer. Weekends always include something extremely active for the 3 of us.

Anyway. 3 months she is down 15 lbs and looking great. She is happier and has much less of a drive to play games on her butt. But, truth be told it was all my change that changed her.

My daughter is 11yo. You can lead by example and offer suggestions and assist your children but cannot MAKE them do anything at that age. Just be encouraging and make sure you are doing your part to be a good example!

no dis-respect inteded at all but I would have to disagree here. My children ages 22months-almost 14 can be made to do a lot of things. I am their mother, they respect that fact and listen to me. When we go walking, they didn't want to go at first, but they had no choice. They went because I told them they had to. They may have groaned and grunted but never once did they even utter the word "no". I hear the "you can't make them" thing a lot but i don't understand it. Being the mother I can make my kids do a lot, because well I'm their mother. In 14 years and 5 kids I have never had a child tell me no when I tell them to do something. They may not like it...but they do it. As far as eating healthy, I can make them do that too because I don't offer unhealthy alternatives. If I am providing their meals then they have no choice but to eat healthy. I provide 98% of their meals(they are homeschooled) so I don't have to worry about the other 2%(if they are at a friends, etc)...if they choose to eat junk there, it's okay because I know the majority of their food is healthy because I provide it.

Please don't talk to him. If you've been going on and off of diets as a family for a year, he's well aware that you think he's fat and want him to change and telling him yet again (no matter how nicely) can only further damage his self esteem.

My thoughts are that if the food in the house is all healthy, it seems unlikely that he's really doing THAT much damage at school/friends. Getting him to be active is key, and signing him up for a sport would would be ideal (depending on his temperament).

However! Please rely more on your pediatrician/nutritionist than the advice of those of us on here (including me). They are the experts and the ones who know your family and your son. Follow their advice.

I can tell that you're concerned about your son and just want for him to be healthy and happy, but please tread lightly. I don't think a heart-to-heart is really what he needs here.

Agreeing wholeheartedly with this post, as well as with the people who have suggested finding a physical activity that he enjoys and will choose for himself - you may need to think creatively - his preferred activity may or may not be a traditional team or individual sport or something you can do as a family, and may take some experimentation to find, which I know can be wearing/time-consuming. The key is that he has to enjoy it, or it will feel like a punishment, and you'll be dragging him, kicking, screaming and digging in his heels, behind you, which will be exhausting for both of you, as well as bad for your relationship. Don't forget that he's likely to have a fairly substantial growth-spurt in the next couple of years as well, so he will almost certainly slim down by default. You need to be in a good position to maintain those healthier proportions when they come, though, by starting some good habits now. You'll never be able to entirely control his eating outside your home, so focus on the things you can be proactive about.