Advice on helping my 11 year old lose weight

We have tried talking to his pediatrician, who recommended a nutritionist, who told us basically. Yes hes fat, cut out the junk food, get him involved in sports, stop enabling him. We have done that and he will stick with it for a week then give up and say he cant do it.

First the nutritionist is right - STOP ENABLING HIM.

You're the adult, he does not have an income to buy his own food, right? Make sure the only food available for him is healthy. I would make a big deal about it, just control the food available to him. Sure you may not be able to get him to exercise, but you have much more control over that he eats than you think.

Finally, MONKEY SEE MONKEY DO. We are primates we imitate behaviors. You need to model healthy eating, activity levels and positive attitudes about healthy living.

My daughter is 11yo. You can lead by example and offer suggestions and assist your children but cannot MAKE them do anything at that age. Just be encouraging and make sure you are doing your part to be a good example!

no dis-respect inteded at all but I would have to disagree here. My children ages 22months-almost 14 can be made to do a lot of things. I am their mother, they respect that fact and listen to me. When we go walking, they didn't want to go at first, but they had no choice. They went because I told them they had to. They may have groaned and grunted but never once did they even utter the word "no". I hear the "you can't make them" thing a lot but i don't understand it. Being the mother I can make my kids do a lot, because well I'm their mother. In 14 years and 5 kids I have never had a child tell me no when I tell them to do something. They may not like it...but they do it. As far as eating healthy, I can make them do that too because I don't offer unhealthy alternatives. If I am providing their meals then they have no choice but to eat healthy. I provide 98% of their meals(they are homeschooled) so I don't have to worry about the other 2%(if they are at a friends, etc)...if they choose to eat junk there, it's okay because I know the majority of their food is healthy because I provide it.

Ok, I can "make" my kids mow the lawn and go outside to play and keep them from eating junk by not buying it. However, really you are only "suggesting" these things and they are agreeing to it technically. If they don't do what I ask, I can establish consequences that they don't really like so much. However, they certainly can choose to not mow the lawn, not go outside to play and eat junk whenever they get the opportunity (at friends' houses). I make nearly all my kids meals. They can choose to eat it or not. I cannot MAKE them eat healthy. I cannot literally MAKE them go outside and play. Sometimes I swear that they are eating dustbunnies because I don't know what they are growing on. (And I don't know how you are raising kids that never say "no" because that's my kids' favorite word, at least when they were younger.)

I see it's been said before but, more sports. That sounds like a great idea!

Ok, so I didn't read the whole thread, forgive me if I'm repeating stuff…

My daughter ended up being referred to a dietician. She's not much over weight, but she has just about reached the end of her growth (she's 14) but was still putting on weight. She put on 10 pounds last year while growing less than 1/2" so the doctor wanted to help her build good habits before it really becomes a problem. Here's what the dietician recommended (keep in mind these are for a 14 year old girl, your son may need more or less):

-WHOLE GRAINS for carbs. Reach the ingredients list on bread - if white flour, bleached flour, or even unbleached flour is the first ingredient, it doesn't qualify (a lot of "mulit-grain" are in this category). Brown rice, whole wheat pasta, cereal with at least 2 g fiber and less than 5 g sugar. About 5 servings a day total (learn how big a serving size is)

-FRUITS - whole fruit, not juice. If you get canned, either light syrup or in juice. 2-3 servings

-VEGGIES - frozen or fresh. 3+ servings

-protein, 5 "ounces" a day, (an ounce is 1 oz meat or fish, 1 T peanut butter, or 1 egg- up to 4 yolks a week).

Dairy - 3 servings a day (1 cup lowfat milk or yogurt, 1/2 c cottage cheese, 1 oz hard cheese)

SWEETS - only once in a while.

Physical exercise - 30 minutes a day. This is very important!!

Our downfalls were more the excessive starches during snacking than too much candy/sweets. She would grab a slice of bread or a handful of crackers way too often and be well over the recommended 5 servings. Now she stops to think, is she really hungry or is she just bored.

The nice thing about this is, the nutritionist talked to HER, not just to the parents. So this is her responsibility (although we help out). And because it came from someone other than parents, she listened. She tracks calories (she should be getting 1600-1800 daily, counting exercise) and participates in "challenges" with us since we are both trying to lose weight too. It's not her parents nagging her to eat right - just asking "do you have room for that in your day?" and let her her decide.

Can you get a referral for a nutritionist, or have the pediatrician talk to him about it? (Without him knowing you've asked would be best). At 11, he needs help in developing the good habits, but he has to be the one to take control of it. You can't do it for him, and you can't dictate to him; in a few years he will be making all his own food choices and if you help him learn to make good choices now you'll do much better than if you make all the choices yourself.


ETA: Ramen is a biggie for kids this age. She can have ramen this way: half a block of noodles, 1/4 seasoning packets, stir in 1/2 c or more of frozen veggies and mix in a scrambled or poached egg. Then it's a real meal!

My son wanted a dog. We went to our local rescue & got him one. House Rule: he must walk the dog for 20 minutes before he is allowed any screen time! We also encourage him to earn money. He now mows grass, rakes leaves, shovels snow, ect. We never had 'the talk', however I often find different documentaries to watch (like SuperSize Me), and we discuss it. The beauty of your situation is, your son doesn't have to lose weight, he just has to maintain while he gets taller:) BTW, My son lost 5 lbs. and grew 6 in. this year. His weight is now healthy and he is choosing to play sports.

I haven't read all the responses (short on time) but wanted to add one thing if it hasn't already been mentioned. I'm not sure what his household responsibilites are but one way to get him active would be to start helping around the house. Vacuuming, raking leaves, mowing the grass and just cleaning in general gets him up and moving. Have him help put away the groceries, carry things to the car, put things in the attic, etc. Anything that gets him doing something! It's small things but adds up and encourages a more active lifestyle.

Has no one brought up sparkteens? THAT is where your teenagers need to be...on a site designed for children trying to eat healthy. NOT on MFP where the parents need to lie just to register them...

What if you guys worked out with your son?

People have mentioned enrolling him in sports, but I actually think it's a bad idea to force something like that onto a child. I was never a big kid, but I had a lot of self-esteem issues because of PE and being forced into team sports that I was terrible at/hated. I didn't begin to enjoy exercise until I was given freedom to find what I liked and realized that it didn't have to be a jock fest/competition.

I also don't think throwing away video games/TV is the answer. I don't like how video games are toted as this evil menace that causes obesity and violence. It's about moderation. Games can be very enlightening, artistic experiences and I thoroughly enjoyed them as a preteen/teenager and still do. I also cherish the memories of all my favorites. If he truly loves games, he shouldn't have to just chuck them. You should try getting him interested in rhythm games that move your body, or other games specifically designed for exercise. The Wii, Playstation Move and Kinect for the Xbox all have great titles that will get your body moving, and they're actually FUN, and there's always DDR as well.

Okay. Here's my two cents. Let him eat what he wants! Just teach him portion control. Instead of letting him eat that whole burger, maybe you should just let him have half. Instead of that soda that he wants so badly, try suggesting the zero calorie option. There are ways that he can eat what he wants! As long as you stick to his calorie limit. He's a preteen! You can't expect him to eat like a rabbit and be happy.