How to deal with people heavier than you.....

For me, I just feel like my weight loss/exercise plan/food intake/etc. is not a topic of conversation for my friends. We have so many more interesting things to do and talk about than my jean size. If/when someone makes a negative/sly comment, I choose to brush it off.

I know what you mean and I've been there before. Friends and family always tell me that I don't have to lose any weight and that I'm at a healthy weight etc but, it's not true. I'm not at a healthy weight for a person my height (4'11"). They just don't get that. Even my doctor told me that I was in the obese category for a person my height and weight (which was 150+ at the time). I don't know how to deal with people when they try to get me to stop dieting but, I've learned to just smile and ignore them. They mean well and in their own way they really think that they're complimenting us. I try not to let it get to me but, I've learned to avoid the subject of weighloss in general with them. I've noticed they can't be happy for me because they are not happy with themselves and they are struggling with their own body image too. You and me can cheer each other on... so feel free to add me

The most important thing is to remember you are doing this for yourself and that's all that matters. I started out being 284lbs ( 10lbs smaller than one of my family members) I am now at 257lbs and she always has a rude comment to make about it. I have asked her to do this with me but she says she loves food too much and wants to get that lap band surgery for an "easy way out" she says. Some people are just that way

look every person has a choice to make... your choice was to feel and look better... so be happy about yourself and keep moving forward

People are used to seeing large people. It's kinda considered normal to be overweight or obese, at least where I was working. Healthy weight people were kind of a rarity of sorts..
I have had people tell me I am too skinny, yet one of these ladies also had the audacity to tell me I was too fast several months before I started losing weight.

If people keep commenting just say something to the effect that you want to be as healthy as you can be and believe it or not the goal weight you have IS healthy.

People these days seem to think that if you want to be a healthy weight then you must be crazy. I don't get it. I think it might be, at least in my exp and observation, society getting used to larger, unhealthy people.

This is about YOUR health -- emotional, physical, psychological. You know what you need for you to be strong in all of those ways. People will say things, but they'll also be inspired. Go, girl.

I would maybe explain it to them by saying that everyone needs a short term goal in life and this is what you want to work on just now, or even call it a hobby. If they get arsey about it maybe they are getting a bit jealous that you've found the motivation to do it? Could even be that by you saying your heavier than you are and want to lose weight they might be reading that as "Hey, i'm smaller than you but i reckon i'm too fat. Whats that say about how i see you"

It's easier for people to deny to themselves that they are over weight if they tell slimmer people that THEY are too skinny


I wanted to quote someone in this post, did it after but can't figure out how to delete this one

The most important thing is to remember you are doing this for yourself and that's all that matters. I started out being 284lbs ( 10lbs smaller than one of my family members) I am now at 257lbs and she always has a rude comment to make about it. I have asked her to do this with me but she says she loves food too much and wants to get that lap band surgery for an "easy way out" she says. Some people are just that way

It is probly envy. It's a lot easier to be rude because you have an insecurity than to put in the hard work to lose the weight.
Good for you on the weight loss, that's a lot of weight!

That is true! Thank you

Get new friends. No reason to surround yourself with people who try to hold you back or guilt-trip you for accomplishing something they could never achieve.

If the people you are hanging out with are bigger than you, then they may wish they looked like you. We all have our own body issues...everybody does. Just do what some others have said already...don't really talk about it with those who don't support you. Do what you feel is healthy for you. I know for myself I'd feel better OVERALL if I just got down to 155 and firmed up. I wouldn't be skin and bones...just healthy with muscle tone and less jiggle. Maybe it's time to find some new friends (not saying to dump current ones) who have similar goals to yours. Join a sports team or a group fitness class. Do what's best for you physically and emotionally.

honestly if there's people that are heavier than you thinking you're crazy for exercising and having a better diet,at least you'll know that you're getting yourself back to perfect health and if they don't want to diet it's their choice,but you'll live probably longer than them 'cause you cut out risks of diabetes,heart disease,stroke,sleep apnea and all the other metabolic health problems that are affecting most people in the u.s nowadays.

People are used to seeing large people. It's kinda considered normal to be overweight or obese, at least where I was working. Healthy weight people were kind of a rarity of sorts..
I have had people tell me I am too skinny, yet one of these ladies also had the audacity to tell me I was too fast several months before I started losing weight.

If people keep commenting just say something to the effect that you want to be as healthy as you can be and believe it or not the goal weight you have IS healthy.

People these days seem to think that if you want to be a healthy weight then you must be crazy. I don't get it. I think it might be, at least in my exp and observation, society getting used to larger, unhealthy people.

You are so right on that point! We, as a society, have become so accustomed to seeing overweight people that our entire perception of "healthy" has become skewed. Most of us couldn't pick a woman of ideal weight out of a line-up.

I've run into this as well. Especially since I'm fairly slim. If I mention to anyone I lost weight they look at me with fear in their eyes. I think most peoples biggest concern is if your thoughts are in a healthy place, which can be a concern sometimes. Give them reasons to wipe that look off their faces.

They first point out that I wasn't big to begin with. I usually point out that I put on 30 pounds in less then a year and my resting heart rate was over 100bpm and that I use to break into a huffing puffing sweat if I had to walk up the stairs to go to the computer lab. My heart would beat out of my chest. I can now hike 20km and still have wind. That's not a sign of malnutrition, that's a sign of strength. Not to mention the fact that I find it hysterical that nobody seemed concerned about my health then.

Same for chin ups, which I couldn't do before.

My nails started cracking off when I was larger. I don't know anyone who can outgrow mine now.

My hair was drying out and now it's shiny again. I think it's because I was eating more carbs then I was fat (no, carbs are not evil, yes, you should eat them and I freakin' need them).

I use to get dizzy when I woke up in the morning, I don't anymore.

I had arthritis and I can't remember the last time I had pain.

Yes I try to do silly things like order salads when I'm out. Vegetables weren't in my diet before, it's not a bad thing. I lived on nuggets and fries. It's not like I'm going to go the whole day eating only spinach. The whole point of the salad is for more nutrition, I want to add a bit of everything. This isn't a limiting thing it's an addition.

I have my period, I eat, I'm not getting stronger it's quite the opposite. Yes I realize I'm not a gigantic creature. No I can't imagine me having any need to lose more then what I already have (if anything I'd want muscle which would cause the weight to go up).

I usually ask people who give me 'the look' if they have any idea how many calories they consume on a daily basis? 2000? Cool, I ate more then that today and I can also go on a 20km hike without it killing me. I feel a ton better. If they mention how calorie counting is unhealthy I agree with them, I think it can be obsessive. I also am obsessed with the sims, but they don't care about that. I then make sure they know I'm more about facts then sitting there worrying about if my gum fits into my goal. I tell them I like research and ask them how much the RDI thinks the average healthy female eats (2000 calories) and how much I eat (more then that if I'm exercising).

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My best friend stopped talking to me and deleted me on facebook over this, so perhaps you shouldn't take my advice :P This was after she told me I looked scary and needed a burger.

I'm quite overweight and when I see anyone less fat than me (and that's alot of folks), in my mind they're "normal". It takes me by surprise when folks I deem fit and attractive explain they're unhappy about their body. I've been large since I was a child, so it was something that I had to get used to as an adult.

I'm sure there are jealous folks out there, but there are others that may just be caught up in their own body image to notice that other folks struggle too. It's relative.

It's ridiculous how it's socially acceptable to tell somebody they're too skinny, but not too fat.

Indeed! My mother has always been self conscious about her thinness, even though she seems quite normal. It really bothers me when people (fat jealous ones) call her skinny. =( Because of this, despite what I might be thinking, I resist the urge to judge an individuals body type.