unsupportive spouse of food allergy diet

2

Replies

  • KeriW626
    KeriW626 Posts: 430
    I agree, make your home a gluten free home. IF you dont have it he cannot cook it... chances are if you have an allergy so will some if not all of your children.
  • gddrdld
    gddrdld Posts: 464 Member
    He's cooking for the kids, not you, it sounds like. I make my own dinner.

    But I wonder what's wrong with Rice A Roni? Rice isn't wheat. Does that brand have gluten in it?

    Also, wheat and gluten aren't exactly the same thing ... Wheat contains gluten, but a wheat allergy is not the same as a gluten allergy.

    The "Roni" part of that dish is wheat pasta...Rice A Roni...
  • runnermama81
    runnermama81 Posts: 388 Member
    While i think not buying wheat is good in theory, it would not work for my household or budget. Thanks to those of you who had helpful suggestions. I really just needed to vent my frustrations.
  • lyttlewon
    lyttlewon Posts: 1,118 Member
    While i think not buying wheat is good in theory, it would not work for my household or budget. Thanks to those of you who had helpful suggestions. I really just needed to vent my frustrations.

    How does not buying something hurt your budget? Is that because you are wanting to buy fake gluten products like gluten free pastas? There are tons of alternatives without having to use gluten free products. My kids absolutely love home made mac n cheese made with quinoa instead of pasta.

    If you have a true allergy I would be concerned keeping these products in your house, where they can contaminate your food. You can become more sensitive to allergens if you continue to expose yourself to them. I have a peanut free household because of my son's peanut allergy.
  • runnermama81
    runnermama81 Posts: 388 Member
    While i think not buying wheat is good in theory, it would not work for my household or budget. Thanks to those of you who had helpful suggestions. I really just needed to vent my frustrations.

    How does not buying something hurt your budget? Is that because you are wanting to buy fake gluten products like gluten free pastas? There are tons of alternatives without having to use gluten free products. My kids absolutely love home made mac n cheese made with quinoa instead of pasta.

    If you have a true allergy I would be concerned keeping these products in your house, where they can contaminate your food. You can become more sensitive to allergens if you continue to expose yourself to them. I have a peanut free household because of my son's peanut allergy.

    Ok, a peanut allergy thats life threatening is a little different from getting a headache. I could say a lot about this post but I am tired. So I will sum it up and say you obviously dont get it either. I wish people who were just going to say judgmental stuff and not be helpful would not bother posting.
  • lyttlewon
    lyttlewon Posts: 1,118 Member
    While i think not buying wheat is good in theory, it would not work for my household or budget. Thanks to those of you who had helpful suggestions. I really just needed to vent my frustrations.

    How does not buying something hurt your budget? Is that because you are wanting to buy fake gluten products like gluten free pastas? There are tons of alternatives without having to use gluten free products. My kids absolutely love home made mac n cheese made with quinoa instead of pasta.

    If you have a true allergy I would be concerned keeping these products in your house, where they can contaminate your food. You can become more sensitive to allergens if you continue to expose yourself to them. I have a peanut free household because of my son's peanut allergy.

    Ok, a peanut allergy thats life threatening is a little different from getting a headache. I could say a lot about this post but I am tired. So I will sum it up and say you obviously dont get it either. I wish people who were just going to say judgmental stuff and not be helpful would not bother posting.

    I wasn't judging you. I understand way more than you know from my short paragraph. I never said my son's allergy was life threatening, just that if you continue to expose your body to something it considers threatening, it may increase from a headache to something worse.
  • jenilla1
    jenilla1 Posts: 11,118 Member
    You can TOTALLY have mac and cheese! I sometimes use a brown rice and corn blend (gluten free) pasta and it tastes great and has a normal pasta texture. My husband couldn't tell the difference when we had spaghetti the other night. He is very understanding of my food sensitivities and goes out of his way to help me out when he can. Who does the food shopping? Just don't buy products with gluten and/or get used to the idea that it's your allergy so you have to go out of your way to take care of it - that may mean cooking for yourself. :flowerforyou:
  • Ready2Rock206
    Ready2Rock206 Posts: 9,487 Member
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  • Gentyl
    Gentyl Posts: 184 Member
    It's true.. going gluten-free can be expensive. There are other things in wheat besides the gluten that can cause allergies, as well. And, it's not just in wheat.. it's in corn, soy beans, and a myriad of other items. So, I do feel for your situation. Something you can do is to make a bunch of hard boiled eggs for just before you get home (an ounce of hard cheese will also be good).. those will satiate your hunger and give you energy so that you can prepare something for yourself that will make you feel great. A BLT with mayonnaise wrapped in romaine lettuce instead of the bread is also a very simple and low calorie meal you may enjoy (inexpensive) -- maybe some crystal light on the side for something sweet. You may find that you will not eat as much as you are now as you will be increasing your fat and protein intake while lowering your calorie intake overall. I have lost a ton of weight doing this.

    Men are wired differently than women. We continually get frustrated year after year about the same exact things. Being frustrated and disappointed continuously about something that is so very important to us is really no way to live. Be more accepting and let it go. Don't waste your life being angry because that just leads to bitterness, and that is no way to live. Love him, love your children, but above all.. please love yourself. It doesn't have to be one or the other. In time, he will love and respect you for it.. if you do it peacefully. Be long-suffering, patient, loving with grace, elegance, and class always. It will add to your life and your character more than you will ever know.
  • mulderpf
    mulderpf Posts: 209 Member
    I recently found out that a wheat allergy is probably causing migraines I have had most my life.

    Probably or definitely? Also, your symptoms don't sound like a wheat allergy, rather a wheat intolerance.
  • hdlb111
    hdlb111 Posts: 20 Member
    Do you meal plan? Can you sit down with your husband and make up dinner for the week, things that everyone else will eat, but that you can eat too? Things like tacos. You can have yours in lettuce instead of a tortilla. Or use rice pasta for mac n cheese instead of wheat pasta. Or if you know that the plan is to make lasagna etc, you can have some grilled chicken breast prepared and ready to eat when you get home.

    I have celiac, and my son is also gluten free. We do alot of planning so that we can avoid having different dinners as much as possible. I don't agree with the people who said to get rid of all gluten in the house, its not fair to the people who can have gluten. Unless you are a Celiac that is so sensitive you get sick off bread crumb cross contamination, its really not neccesary to get rid of it all.

    You can also start replacing sauces and things with the GF options. Things like bbq sauce and soy sauce etc, so that they aren't used on your food.
  • runnermama81
    runnermama81 Posts: 388 Member
    I recently found out that a wheat allergy is probably causing migraines I have had most my life.

    Probably or definitely? Also, your symptoms don't sound like a wheat allergy, rather a wheat intolerance.

    Just curious....why does it matter?
  • lyttlewon
    lyttlewon Posts: 1,118 Member
    I recently found out that a wheat allergy is probably causing migraines I have had most my life.

    Probably or definitely? Also, your symptoms don't sound like a wheat allergy, rather a wheat intolerance.

    Just curious....why does it matter?

    This is what I was trying to explain earlier. An allergy is an autoimmune disease and it means something different physiologically to have one than it does to have an intolerance. They both make you sick, but the consequences of mismanagement are vastly different.
  • That_Girl
    That_Girl Posts: 1,324 Member
    I am gluten intolerant but still buy wheat items for my family. Gluten free items ARE expensive, so I get that.

    I think though, that for the OP, it's best to cook her own foods. I don't see the big deal. Have things you can quickly make for nights you work late and nicely tell your husband not to worry about cooking for you for a while.

    but to go completely gluten free kitchen is expensive. It's half the volume for double the price. Believe me.

    My "intolerance" leaves me in pain/weak/miserable for days after being "glutened". It's no different than an allergy. I do not have Celiac disease, thankfully, but I know when I've had gluten. It sucks.
  • alaskaang
    alaskaang Posts: 493 Member
    I recently found out that a wheat allergy is probably causing migraines I have had most my life.

    Probably or definitely? Also, your symptoms don't sound like a wheat allergy, rather a wheat intolerance.

    Just curious....why does it matter?

    This is what I was trying to explain earlier. An allergy is an autoimmune disease and it means something different physiologically to have one than it does to have an intolerance. They both make you sick, but the consequences of mismanagement are vastly different.

    The biggest difference between an allergy and an intollerance is the type and timing of symptoms. Most allergic reactions are quick and violent - i.e. hives, coughing, sneezing, shortness of breath, acute swelling anaphylactic(sp?) shock. Intollerances are generally more passive and make take longer to show up - i.e. upset stomach, general inflammation, joint aches etc but are not necessarily any less severe or miserable. Autoimmune conditions are a whole other level that could be caused by either.

    Even mild gluten intollerance is nothing to take lightly as ignored it can continue to damage until you end up with an autoimmune disease.

    Going to a 100% gluten free household does not have to be more expensive, but it does take more planning and less pre-packaged foods.
  • mulderpf
    mulderpf Posts: 209 Member
    I recently found out that a wheat allergy is probably causing migraines I have had most my life.

    Probably or definitely? Also, your symptoms don't sound like a wheat allergy, rather a wheat intolerance.

    Just curious....why does it matter?

    Well you don't seem to be sure if this is related either. I'm trying to be helpful here and show you how your response has probably caused much of this, because even another response, you say "it's just a headache, not exactly life-threatening" or something to that effect.

    If you want your husband to take this seriously, I think you need to take it seriously first. But from the little you've written, I am wondering if you aren't doing this as a fad, rather than something that is actually wrong with you, using a few headaches as proof why you should stick to your new fad diet. I am sure he is wondering the same thing!
  • taunto
    taunto Posts: 6,420 Member
    Men can be idiots. Sometimes you have to treat them like 3 year olds and tell them exactly what you want them to do.
    Would you like if a man posted "women can be idiots..."? No. This is not ok.

    I love my husband, I really do...but after 18 years with him, I think I can definitively say that sometimes he CAN be an idiot. He is brilliant when it comes to some things, but sometimes he doesn't *get* relationship stuff. Several years ago he went on a winter camping trip ON my birthday. he didn't understand why I was mad that he had time to go to walmart and get our son gloves ( which required walking RIGHT by the card department) but "didn't have time" to take 2 minutes to at least grab a card to acknowledge that my birthday was taking place.

    I never said "all men are idiots" ...I said " men CAN be idiots" . If someone wanted to say "women can be idiots" I wouldn't worry. because I know I am not an idiot.

    Your statement where you gender stereotype begs to differ.

    OP: I don't think he's doing this on purpose. He's most likely in a routine and simply forgets about your allergy or doesn't think you can not have that item. This will take time and patience, I don't think he's doing this to hurt you
  • GypsysBloodRose26
    GypsysBloodRose26 Posts: 341 Member
    Men can be idiots. Sometimes you have to treat them like 3 year olds and tell them exactly what you want them to do.
    Would you like if a man posted "women can be idiots..."? No. This is not ok.

    I agree. This is a horrible thing to post. Gender discrimination is not okay.

    And this is completely off-topic...
  • celebrity328
    celebrity328 Posts: 377 Member
    I have an allergy to gluten :/

    I have found that some items that should not have gluten/wheat in them may actually contain it. You have to read the actual lable to find out if something is processed with items that could cross contaminate the food. I have heard that Trader Joes foods that are "gluten free" have a real rep for making people sick :(!

    My husband eats gluten however he knows that certain areas in the kitchen are "gluten free" areas. One of us always cooks more then we eat that way I have left overs for work/dinner the next night if I work late. I eat clean but if im in a lazy/tired mood I pop a couple eggs on the stove and call it a night :)
  • runnermama81
    runnermama81 Posts: 388 Member
    I recently found out that a wheat allergy is probably causing migraines I have had most my life.

    Probably or definitely? Also, your symptoms don't sound like a wheat allergy, rather a wheat intolerance.

    Just curious....why does it matter?



    Well you don't seem to be sure if this is related either. I'm trying to be helpful here and show you how your response has probably caused much of this, because even another response, you say "it's just a headache, not exactly life-threatening" or something to that effect.

    If you want your husband to take this seriously, I think you need to take it seriously first. But from the little you've written, I am wondering if you aren't doing this as a fad, rather than something that is actually wrong with you, using a few headaches as proof why you should stick to your new fad diet. I am sure he is wondering the same thing!


    Wow. Just wow. If you knew me at all you would know I don't do fad diets. You're right that I dont know if I have Celiac disease, in fact I am pretty sure I don't. What I know is that when I avoid wheat I feel better. I don't get headaches or acid reflux. This really isn't about losing weight at all.
  • alaskaang
    alaskaang Posts: 493 Member
    I am wondering if you aren't doing this as a fad, rather than something that is actually wrong with you, using a few headaches as proof why you should stick to your new fad diet.

    This attitude is one of the reasons it is very difficult to be gluten free........ Condescending A**HOLES without a clue!
  • runnermama81
    runnermama81 Posts: 388 Member
    I am wondering if you aren't doing this as a fad, rather than something that is actually wrong with you, using a few headaches as proof why you should stick to your new fad diet.

    This attitude is one of the reasons it is very difficult to be gluten free........ Condescending A**HOLES without a clue!
    Thank you! :)
  • mulderpf
    mulderpf Posts: 209 Member
    Wow. Just wow. If you knew me at all you would know I don't do fad diets. You're right that I dont know if I have Celiac disease, in fact I am pretty sure I don't. What I know is that when I avoid wheat I feel better. I don't get headaches or acid reflux. This really isn't about losing weight at all.

    So you have gone from wheat allergy, to gluten intolerance to Celiac disease. But you don't know what you have.

    You were moaning on here because your husband doesn't support your diet and I was merely pointing out that it's because you are not taking it seriously. Even on here you say that you think you may have it, but then you go on to belittle it by saying that it's not exactly life-threatening, you just get a few headaches. If you want him to support you, then you need to take this as seriously as it could potentially be.

    In other words, go to a doctor and have this officially diagnosed. If you really have Celiac disease and you can show this to your husband, then he will take you seriously, because then he is actually endangering your life. But for as long as you say, I may or may not have this and that, it's simply a fad and you have no basis for complaining when he goes "oh whatever".
  • runnermama81
    runnermama81 Posts: 388 Member
    Wow. Just wow. If you knew me at all you would know I don't do fad diets. You're right that I dont know if I have Celiac disease, in fact I am pretty sure I don't. What I know is that when I avoid wheat I feel better. I don't get headaches or acid reflux. This really isn't about losing weight at all.

    So you have gone from wheat allergy, to gluten intolerance to Celiac disease. But you don't know what you have.

    You were moaning on here because your husband doesn't support your diet and I was merely pointing out that it's because you are not taking it seriously. Even on here you say that you think you may have it, but then you go on to belittle it by saying that it's not exactly life-threatening, you just get a few headaches. If you want him to support you, then you need to take this as seriously as it could potentially be.

    In other words, go to a doctor and have this officially diagnosed. If you really have Celiac disease and you can show this to your

    husband, then he will take you seriously, because then he is actually endangering your life. But for as long as you say, I may or may not have this and that, it's simply a fad and you have no basis for complaining when he goes "oh whatever".


    You are a jerk to put it politely.
  • citygirl1140
    citygirl1140 Posts: 6 Member
    I have celiac and know what a struggle you are having. I just went through our cupboards and got rid of anything that has gluten in it. I bought all new gluten free spices and told my hubby "NO Gluten" in this house. Its hard when they don't realize the severity of them being careless. I finally got through to my hubby when I told him I wasn't prepared to die from cancer because he wants cook with gluten containing ingredients just because it may be easy for him. I am prepared to cook my own meals if he insists on eating gluten. He knows he is to clean up so that he doesn't cause any cross-contamination with my food. You just have to educated people. In a loving and care way of course :)
  • citygirl1140
    citygirl1140 Posts: 6 Member

    Going to a 100% gluten free household does not have to be more expensive, but it does take more planning and less pre-packaged foods.

    Going gluten free where I live is considerably more expensive. Bread in the store is 7.00 a loaf rather than 1.25. Of course I could bake my own but the flour is much more expensive too. Just saying... :)
  • happyheathen927
    happyheathen927 Posts: 167 Member
    I feel for you, op. I was dx as t2 diabetic almost 3 years ago and my husband STILL forgets that I'm diabetic. It drives me CRAZY. I do all the cooking, so that's not an issue, but he brings me frozen yogurt (not the sf kind) with all kinds of candy toppings, or a candy bar, etc. I know it's supposed to be the thought that counts, but how much thought does it take to say, hmmm, maybe my diabetic wife would appreciate a different kind of treat?

    The only other comment I have is that going gluten-free, whatever your reasons, doesn't have to be crazy-expensive. We've been GF for a year and I have yet to buy a $7 loaf of bread. I do buy almond flour in bulk so it's far cheaper, and I bake often with that. I do, very occasionally, buy GF pasta for my kids, but our diets mainly consist of meats, veggies, fruits, nuts and healthy fats. There are resources online for eating GF (and dairy-free too, which we are) on a budget.

    I understand the need to vent; I hope you're able to work something out with your husband.
  • If you do the shopping just quit buying the stuff you don't want in the house. Buy all gluten free pastas, forget about bread, etc. luckily I do the shopping and the cooking. My husband is gluten free, I am mostly gluten free and we limit our kids. It is a tough hait to change. My FIL has celiacs and my husband likely does too. He has a severe reaction to gluten and wheat. It is a totall different way of eating. I agree with the above mentioned meal plans for him to follow, make sure ingredients are in the house, easy to find and taste good for everyone. Also, pre make some meals when you have time off. Make crockpot meals in the morning so they are ready for everyone when they get home, freeze meals individually for quick grab and go meals and take it easy on your hubby. I have been on my weight loss journey for over a year and my hubs still brings home fast food and junk food. Sometimes we think about ourselves before others and sometimes we just don't think at all. Good luck to you.
  • flechero
    flechero Posts: 260 Member
    Explain it like this... "Honey, it's an allergy that causes me pain lots of pain.... and from this point forward, you cooking it for us will cause you not to have sex anymore. No, I'm not kidding."

    I bet he shapes up in under a week.
  • alaskaang
    alaskaang Posts: 493 Member

    Going to a 100% gluten free household does not have to be more expensive, but it does take more planning and less pre-packaged foods.

    Going gluten free where I live is considerably more expensive. Bread in the store is 7.00 a loaf rather than 1.25. Of course I could bake my own but the flour is much more expensive too. Just saying... :)

    Which is why I said more planning and less pre-packaged food. I rarely buy "gluten free" products. Bread is just no longer something we have. Sandwiches are now in lettuce wraps, Enchiladas are in steamed cabbage rolls, and Pasta has been replaced with vegetables. Our primary starches are now rice and potatoes, both of which are pretty inexpensive.