Someone told my 5 yr old to stop eating or she'll get fat

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hypotrochoid
hypotrochoid Posts: 842 Member
in Chit-Chat
Right, so I don't know who did this, and may whatever god they believe in have mercy on them if I find out, because I sure as hell won't... but someone told my beautiful 5 year old that she's fat and should stop eating. And she, being 5, believed whoever it was even to the point of turning down pizza and cake (treats she rarely gets) at a birthday party.

It took me three days to get this out of her, all the while worrying that she was ill and that's why she was refusing food. I've worked to mitigate the damage, but does anyone have any suggestions for what else I can do other than the obvious verbal reassurances?
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  • scapez
    scapez Posts: 2,018 Member
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    I don't have kids so this is only what I think I would do if I were in your shoes. I would explain that people have to eat so their bodies are healthy and if we don't eat we might get sick or feel too tired to to play, etc.

    I'm racking my brain to try to come up with more 5-year old appropriate stuff, and well, like I said, not having kids n' all...

    Good luck :flowerforyou:
  • oregonzoo
    oregonzoo Posts: 4,251 Member
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    Did she say who said this to her?
  • moreORless50
    moreORless50 Posts: 261 Member
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    kids love to cook maybe let her share in the cooking with you a dish thats nice but healthy that you will eat along with her

    my kids been grown up along time but my grankids love to cook and will rarely not eat what they have helped to prepare
  • avasano
    avasano Posts: 487 Member
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    Ahhh My mother-in-law strikes again.
  • danger_kitteh
    danger_kitteh Posts: 301 Member
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    We go through this with my son in the opposite way. He's 6 and a bean pole. On a good day he probably weighs 41 pounds. Tall and skinny this kid is and always shall be. We place a LOT of importance on eating whole healthy foods and exercise to help his body grow in the best possible way. We do not restrict treats or junky food, but we do tell him that it is ok to have those foods, just not all the time! He has asked before about my weight and how i eat and I tell him the truth. When I got older, I made a mistake and stopped paying attention to the lessons I learned when i was younger about eating healthy and stopped exercising - so now I have to work extra hard to be healthy again, not only for myself but for him. So we work together as a family to make sure we are all healthy, eat good foods, exercise and sometimes have our treats. Food is fuel for our bodies to be awesome.
  • DontStopB_Leakin
    DontStopB_Leakin Posts: 3,863 Member
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    I would first try your hardest to find out who said this to her. Then, hold that person accountable. If it was one of her peers, speak with their parents.

    Honestly, your best option is to just keep drilling home how absolutely incorrect that statement was. She may only be five, but explain to her what function food performs to keep her healthy and help her grow. She'll understand, and the more you drive that home, the healthier her relationship with food will be.


    Oh, and if you find out who did it, and it was in fact an adult, beat their face into a bloody pulp. I cannot fathom someone saying that to a child. Ever.


    Edit: Only after being quoted did I notice that I said "who said this to you", not "who said this to her".
    /facepalm. You get the point.
  • hypotrochoid
    hypotrochoid Posts: 842 Member
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    I've no idea where she got this from, though the prime suspects are someone at school or something that she saw on TV. TV is closely monitored, though, so... I don't know. I'm just angry.

    She does help me cook and is doing better at trying new things- but she flat out wouldn't eat anything offered.
  • tashjs21
    tashjs21 Posts: 4,584 Member
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    I would first try your hardest to find out who said this to you. Then, hold that person accountable. If it was one of her peers, speak with their parents.

    Honestly, your best option is to just keep drilling home how absolutely incorrect that statement was. She may only be five, but explain to her what function food performs to keep her healthy and help her grow. She'll understand, and the more you drive that home, the healthier her relationship with food will be.


    Oh, and if you find out who did it, and it was in fact an adult, beat their face into a bloody pulp. I cannot fathom someone saying that to a child. Ever.

    ^ This! Lea is so wise.
  • dmpizza
    dmpizza Posts: 3,321 Member
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    Probably another kid.
  • Bakerchk
    Bakerchk Posts: 424 Member
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    I am so sorry you have to deal with this. It's really unfortunate how ignorant and hurtful others can be.
    Hopefully you can (with persistence) instill it in her that foods are good for you and in moderation other snack foods are okay too. Best of luck to your and your daughter.
  • SaundraM2009
    SaundraM2009 Posts: 65 Member
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    Find out who it was, then hit them as hard as you can in the jaw so they can't talk for a while. It is not their place to shape your child's self image.
  • peuglow
    peuglow Posts: 684 Member
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    I have a 10 month old, so I haven't run into this yet. But I can tell you it would devestate me and drive me insane. I can't believe the things people tell kids. What gives them the right??!
  • starjumper12
    starjumper12 Posts: 64
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    one of my parents said something similar to this to me when i was about the same age... i'll put it this way - i still remember it 25 years later.
  • _Elemenopee_
    _Elemenopee_ Posts: 2,665 Member
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    I would first try your hardest to find out who said this to you. Then, hold that person accountable. If it was one of her peers, speak with their parents.

    Honestly, your best option is to just keep drilling home how absolutely incorrect that statement was. She may only be five, but explain to her what function food performs to keep her healthy and help her grow. She'll understand, and the more you drive that home, the healthier her relationship with food will be.


    Oh, and if you find out who did it, and it was in fact an adult, beat their face into a bloody pulp. I cannot fathom someone saying that to a child. Ever.

    Leaky for President!
  • cici1028
    cici1028 Posts: 799 Member
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    Ugh. I wonder where she heard it. But honestly, it could have been TV just as easily as a trusted adult or another child... does she watch daytime talk shows or reality tv? (Wink)

    I think you are doing the right thing. Just demonstrate how to live a healthy lifestyle by doing it yourself. Teach her what foods are nutritious and help her body grow. Point out foods that are 'treats' because they don't help her to grow big and strong but they are ok every once in a while!

    Cook together. Eat together. Exercise together (walks, hikes) and just show her that moving her body and eating well will only serve her over time.
  • skullshank
    skullshank Posts: 4,324 Member
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    Oh, and if you find out who did it, and it was in fact an adult, beat their face into a bloody pulp. I cannot fathom someone saying that to a child. Ever.

    this.
    cross me by talking down to my kid and you will wind up hanging upside-down, skinless, in my basement...shuddering every time the floor creaks above you, hoping i don't return, as you pray to whatever god you believe in to end your suffering.
  • sma83
    sma83 Posts: 485 Member
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    My 7 yr old weighs in at 44.5 pounds and Ive had to tell my own Mother not to tell her she will get fat if she keeps eating "insert name of any random food here". It really pisses me off. My child most obviously does not have an issue with weight. If anything she is slightly underweight for her age, but it never fails, after a comment from my Mother she will refuse to eat and say things like "I dont need that, I dont want to get fat"...I have been in many fights with my Mom over this. Hope you find who said that and smack the crap out of them (if its an adult).
  • 6packb450
    6packb450 Posts: 191
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    I have a 13 and a 10 yr. old... they both have been told they were fat. I was a 150 lb. 6' tall dude, skinny as a rail growing up in the 70s... I was told the same thing. Kids are cruel... it will happen. The best thing to do is educate your daughter on proper food choices while she is still young, and feed her well balanced meals. No reason why the MFP choices can't apply to the whole family.
  • downsizinghoss
    downsizinghoss Posts: 1,035 Member
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    To be honest, when I was growing up, this wasn't that rare. I was a big kid, but not really fat. I heard it all the time. Especially from my grandparents generation.
    I had to go on my first diet and tried to jog for a week in second grade. I needed to make the 5 pound cut off for my football team.

    I would explain to them that some people are just mean. They will say things that hurt you, but you are better than that.

    I wish someone had told me that. I believed them.
  • DontStopB_Leakin
    DontStopB_Leakin Posts: 3,863 Member
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    I've no idea where she got this from, though the prime suspects are someone at school or something that she saw on TV. TV is closely monitored, though, so... I don't know. I'm just angry.

    She does help me cook and is doing better at trying new things- but she flat out wouldn't eat anything offered.
    Again, try your damndest to get her to tell you who said it. If it was one of her classmates, just let her know that they were just misinformed.

    You'll have an easier time getting it out of her head if it WAS one of her classmates.


    Again though, if it was an adult....get the bat ready. Someone's going to get beat.

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